Bridesmaid Shopping: How Many Is Too Many?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, and one of the first things brides-to-be think about is how many bridesmaids they want by their side on the big day. The number of bridesmaids you can take shopping for their dresses depends on several factors, including your budget, the size of your wedding, and the dynamics of your friend group. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, the average number of bridesmaids typically falls between three and six. However, some brides opt for a smaller group of two to three, while others go for a larger crew of up to a dozen or more. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you can have as many or as few bridesmaids as you like.

Budgeting for bridesmaids

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. Here are some tips for budgeting for bridesmaids:

Evaluate Your Financial Status

Before accepting the role of a bridesmaid, it is important to evaluate your financial status and determine if you can realistically afford the associated expenses. These may include the cost of a bachelorette trip, matching outfits, shower decorations, and gifts for the bridal shower and wedding. If you are unable to commit financially, it is okay to politely decline the invitation to be a bridesmaid and suggest alternative ways to celebrate the couple, such as a private dinner or sending a gift by mail.

Communicate Openly

Frequent and transparent communication with the bride and other bridesmaids is key. Discuss your budget and what you can realistically afford to spend. It is encouraged to be honest about your financial limitations to alleviate financial stressors. Offer alternative suggestions or ways to save money, such as shopping sales or using your own resources and connections.

Create a Budget and Stick to It

Once you have an idea of the expected costs, create a budget for yourself and try to stick to it. You might consider using budgeting tools or apps to help you stay organised and on track. If you are able to predict when you might be asked to be a bridesmaid, start setting aside money in advance as a precaution. Label your savings account specifically for "bridesmaid budget" to help visualise and separate these funds from your general savings.

Prioritise Big-Ticket Items

Some expenses, such as the bridesmaid dress, bachelorette party, and gifts, are harder to save on. Budget for these big-ticket items first and pay for them upfront if possible. Get creative with other expenses, such as researching more affordable options for accessories or decorations. Consider buying used or renting when possible to cut down on costs.

Split Costs and DIY

Whenever possible, split costs with the other bridesmaids to reduce your individual financial burden. This can apply to costs such as venue rental, food, drinks, accommodation, transportation, and gifts. Additionally, consider making DIY gifts or decorations to save money.

Shop Sales and Use Your Connections

Keep an eye out for deals and sales on items such as dresses, flights, hotel accommodations, and party decorations. Utilise your own resources and connections to save money. For example, if you have a friend who is a good cook, ask them to cater the bridal shower or bachelorette party. If you know someone who is skilled at sewing, they might be able to help with dress alterations.

Venue size considerations

The size of your wedding venue will play a crucial role in determining the number of bridesmaids you can take shopping. If you're working with a smaller venue, you may need to limit the number of bridesmaids to avoid overcrowding. On the other hand, if you have a large, spacious venue, you can feel more comfortable inviting a larger number of bridesmaids.

When considering the venue size, think about the number of guests you plan to invite. A small venue with a large number of guests may not be able to accommodate a large bridal party. You want to ensure that your bridesmaids have enough space to move around, get ready, and participate in all the pre-wedding activities comfortably.

The layout of the venue is also important. Some venues may have unique features or constraints that impact the number of people who can comfortably fit in the space. For example, if you're getting married in a registry office or a small country hotel, there may not be a lot of room for a large bridal party.

Additionally, consider the flow of the wedding day. Your bridesmaids will likely need space to get ready, store their belongings, and participate in any pre-wedding activities you have planned. Make sure the venue can accommodate these needs without feeling cramped or crowded.

While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, the average number of bridesmaids typically ranges from three to six. However, this number can vary depending on your personal preferences, the size of your wedding, and the dynamics of your bridal party. Remember, the most important thing is to choose the people you want by your side as you prepare for and celebrate your special day.

Formality of the wedding

The formality of a wedding is an important factor to consider when planning the big day, and it can vary from casual to white-tie. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you navigate the different levels of formality for a wedding:

Levels of Formality

The formality of a wedding can range from casual to extremely formal, and it is often indicated on the invitation. Here are some common levels of formality, from least to most formal:

• Casual: This is rare, as most couples want to maintain a certain level of fanciness for their wedding. However, some couples prioritise comfort and celebration over strict formality. For this level of formality, guests can wear light-coloured dress pants, a longer skirt with a blouse, or a summer dress. Men can opt for a button-down shirt and dress pants.
• Semi-Formal or Dressy Casual: This level of formality is usually indicated by the terms "semi-formal" or "cocktail attire" on the invitation. It is a balance between elegance and comfort. For women, a tea-length, knee-length, or midi dress is appropriate. Men should wear a suit and tie, regardless of the setting. The colour palette can vary depending on the time of day, with darker colours for evening events and lighter colours for daytime affairs.
• Beach Formal: Beach weddings call for a more relaxed dress code, but it is important to remember that "formal" is still part of the dress code. Guests should aim for "upscale restaurant in Hawaii" attire. For men, a light-coloured suit with linen pants and beach shoes are suitable. Women can opt for a formal summer dress of any length, paired with beach sandals and natural hair and makeup.
• Formal or Black-Tie Optional: This level of formality is slightly less formal than black-tie. Tuxedos are not required, but can still be worn. If opting for a suit, men should choose a formal dark suit, a white shirt, and a conservative tie. Women can wear a floor-length gown, a fancy cocktail dress, or a dressy pantsuit.
• Black-Tie: Black-tie weddings are formal events, usually taking place in the evening. They require formal outfits, such as tuxedos for men and floor-length gowns for women. Little room is left for interpretation, and the dress code is strictly enforced.
• White-Tie: This is the most formal level of wedding attire. It is reminiscent of Victorian-era nuptials and is often compared to state dinners or royal events. Men's attire includes a long, dark tuxedo with tails, a white shirt, a vest, a bow tie, and formal footwear. Women should wear a full-length evening gown, elegant jewellery, and sleek dress shoes.

Tips for Bridesmaids

Now, let's focus on the bridesmaids' role in the context of wedding formality:

• Discuss expectations early on: Brides should communicate their vision for the bridesmaids' dresses, including style, colour, and budget, at least seven to eight months before the wedding. This gives bridesmaids enough time to order their dresses and make any necessary alterations.
• Be mindful of budgets: Weddings can be expensive for everyone involved, so it's important to have open and honest conversations about dress budgets. Be mindful of your bridesmaids' financial situations and try to find options that are comfortable for everyone.
• Start browsing early: It's recommended that brides start browsing for bridesmaid dresses around the nine-month mark, after they have found their own wedding dress. This allows for a more relaxed shopping experience and ensures that dresses can be ordered and altered in time for the wedding.
• Be flexible: Bridesmaids may not always love the bride's dress selection, but it's important to keep an open mind and be flexible. Remember, it's the bride's big day, and ultimately, her preferences take precedence.
• Follow the bride's lead: If given the freedom to choose their own dress style, bridesmaids should still follow the bride's overall vision. Stick to the recommended parameters, such as fabric choices or preferred lengths, to ensure a cohesive look for the bridal party.
• Provide constructive feedback: If there are concerns or dislikes about the chosen dress, bridesmaids should communicate them constructively. Share preferences respectfully and be open to finding a solution that works for everyone.

In conclusion, the formality of a wedding sets the tone for the entire event, from guest attire to bridal party expectations. By understanding the different levels of formality and following the tips outlined above, brides and bridesmaids can ensure a smooth and enjoyable wedding planning process, leading up to a memorable celebration.

Friendship dynamics

For instance, if a bride has two sisters and three best friends but wants only four bridesmaids, she may face the difficult decision of choosing whom to include and whom to leave out. In such cases, it is essential to consider the potential impact on friendship dynamics and the possibility of hurting someone's feelings. One approach is to ask everyone to be a bridesmaid to avoid any hurt feelings. Alternatively, the bride may opt to have fewer bridesmaids, selecting only those closest to her.

Another aspect to consider is the financial burden on the bridesmaids. Being a bridesmaid often involves financial commitments, such as purchasing a dress, shoes, accessories, and other expenses. It is essential to be mindful of the financial situation of potential bridesmaids and choose those who can comfortably manage these responsibilities.

Additionally, the bride should consider the group dynamics among the chosen bridesmaids. Aiming for a mix of personalities that complement each other can help ensure a harmonious team that collaborates effectively and enjoys the experience without conflicts.

Ultimately, the decision on the number of bridesmaids rests with the bride, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. The average number of bridesmaids is three to six, but it can vary depending on the bride's preferences, the size of the wedding, and personal dynamics.

Bridesmaids' duties

Bridesmaids have a long list of responsibilities and duties to the bride, both before and during the wedding.

Before the wedding, bridesmaids are expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, including the bridal shower and bachelorette party. They should also attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and book their own travel and hotel reservations. Bridesmaids are also there to provide emotional support to the bride and help with wedding planning tasks, such as addressing envelopes, DIY projects, and picking out rentals. They may also be involved in choosing the bridesmaid attire and are usually expected to pay for their own outfits, jewellery, and shoes.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids help the bride get ready, providing snacks and drinks, and making sure she is calm and relaxed. They also assist the maid of honour with any tasks, such as making last-minute runs or coordinating with the photographer. During the ceremony, bridesmaids process down the aisle and may be asked to greet and guide guests. After the ceremony, they should stick around for group photos and then mingle with guests, ensuring they are enjoying themselves. At the end of the night, bridesmaids help to gather the couple's belongings and gifts, and ensure guests are safely on their way.

The number of bridesmaids a bride chooses to have is a personal choice and there is no right or wrong number. However, it is important to consider the size of the wedding and the number of groomsmen when making this decision. The average number of bridesmaids is typically between three and five but can range from one to ten or more.

Frequently asked questions