Groomsmen Galore: How Many Best Men Are Too Many?

While it is traditional for a groom to have one best man, there is no strict rule about the number of best men a groom can have. In recent years, it has become more popular for grooms to have two or more best men, allowing them to honour multiple people who are special to them and provide additional support on their wedding day. The number of best men and groomsmen a groom chooses can depend on various factors, including the size of the wedding, the relationship with their friends, and their personal preferences. Ultimately, it is the couple's decision, and they should do what makes them happy and comfortable.

How many best men is too many?

Traditionally, a groom has one best man at their wedding. However, this is not a strict rule, and it is becoming more common for grooms to have multiple best men. Ultimately, the number of best men you choose is up to you and your preferences. Here are some factors to consider when deciding how many best men are too many:

Wedding Size and Formality

The size and formality of your wedding can help determine how many best men you should have. For smaller, casual weddings, having one or two best men is usually sufficient. For larger, more formal weddings, you can have a higher number of best men, with the average number being around five. If you're having a luxurious wedding with 200+ guests, even having ten best men can be acceptable.

Roles and Responsibilities

Best men have a variety of important duties, including planning the bachelor party, giving a speech, helping the groom get dressed, and providing emotional support. Having multiple best men can help divide these responsibilities and ensure that everything runs smoothly. However, it can also create challenges, such as deciding who will give the speech and how to divide the tasks clearly.

Group Dynamics

Consider the dynamic of your group and choose a mix of people who will get along well and work together. This will ensure that everyone enjoys the experience and that conflicts don't kill the mood. Having too many best men may make it challenging to maintain a cohesive group dynamic.

Personal Preferences

Ultimately, your wedding is about you and your preferences. Choose your closest friends or family members who you want by your side on your big day. There is no right or wrong number, but it's important to consider how each additional best man will fit into the wedding party and how they will contribute to your special day.

In conclusion, the number of best men that is too many depends on various factors, including the size and formality of your wedding, the responsibilities you want them to handle, group dynamics, and your personal preferences. Remember, clear communication is key to ensuring that everyone is on the same page and that your wedding day is a success.

How to choose your best man/men

Traditionally, a groom has one best man, usually his closest friend or family member, who acts as his right-hand man and provides emotional support. However, there is no strict rule about the number of best men a groom can have. In fact, it has become increasingly common for grooms to have two or more best men. This can be a great way to honour multiple people who are special to the groom and provide additional support on the wedding day.

• Consider the role: Being a best man comes with a lot of responsibilities, from planning the bachelor party to giving a speech at the reception. Consider who you can rely on to handle these tasks and provide you with the support you need.
• Choose someone you can trust: The best man is often the groom's confidant, helping with wedding planning and providing emotional support. Choose someone you trust and feel comfortable with, whether it's a close friend, family member, or even a co-worker.
• Think about your relationship: Consider how your best man/men fit into your life and how you see your relationship with them evolving in the future. Are they someone you can see yourself growing with and achieving goals together?
• Navigate family dynamics: If you have a best friend and a sibling, you may want to honour both of them with the position of best man. There's no rule saying you have to choose one over the other.
• Consider the benefits of multiple best men: Having two or more best men can help divide the responsibilities and provide a stronger support system. It also allows you to give each person a unique look that reflects their personality.
• Communicate your expectations: Be clear about what is expected of your best man/men in terms of responsibilities and duties. Discuss the bachelor party, wedding attire, and any other tasks they will be expected to perform.
• Think about the group dynamic: Choose a mix of people who will get along well and work together to make your wedding a success. Consider their personalities and how they will interact with each other and the rest of the wedding party.
• Don't be afraid to break tradition: Ultimately, it's your wedding, and you should do what makes you happy. If you feel strongly about having multiple best men, go for it! Modern weddings are all about personalisation and breaking away from traditional customs.

The best man's duties

While there is no set rule on the number of best men a groom can have, traditionally, there is only one best man at a wedding. However, in recent times, grooms have been breaking away from this tradition, and it has become more and more common for grooms to have two or even three best men.

Now, here is a detailed list of the best man's duties:

Pre-Wedding Duties:

• Emotional Support: One of the most important duties of the best man is to provide emotional support to the groom. This involves listening to the groom's concerns and reassuring him that everything will be okay.
• Assist with Outfit Details: The best man is usually in charge of helping the groom and the groomsmen with their wedding attire. This includes gathering measurements, placing orders, and ensuring everyone receives their attire on time.
• Organise the Bachelor Party: Planning the bachelor party is a key responsibility of the best man. This involves deciding on a date, location, and activities that align with the groom's interests and preferences.
• Coordinate the Groom's Gift: The best man often leads the effort in collecting money from the groomsmen and purchasing a gift for the groom.
• Be Present for the Rehearsal: The best man is expected to attend the wedding rehearsal and may also give a small toast during the rehearsal dinner.

Wedding-Day Duties:

• Keep the Groom and Groomsmen on Schedule: The best man helps ensure that the groom and groomsmen arrive at the venue on time and stay on schedule throughout the day.
• Hold the Wedding Rings: The best man is entrusted with the important task of keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows.
• Stand Beside the Groom at the Altar: During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes his place closest to the groom at the altar.
• Sign the Marriage License: The best man acts as a witness and signs the marriage license along with the maid of honor.
• Act as an Unofficial Reception Host: The best man should keep an eye on the newlyweds and guests to ensure everyone is having a good time. He may also need to assist guests, such as helping them find their seats or escorting them to the dance floor.
• Give the Best Man Speech: Delivering a well-crafted speech is a key responsibility of the best man. The speech should focus on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Help Collect Gifts: The best man may be tasked with collecting gifts from guests and ensuring they are securely stored or transported to the couple's home.
• Decorate the Getaway Car: The best man may be asked to help decorate the car the couple will leave in after the reception.

Post-Wedding Duties:

• Return Rented Attire: If the wedding party rented their attire, the best man may be responsible for returning the items on time and in good condition.
• Check-In with Vendors: The best man ensures that all wedding-related expenses are settled before the end of the reception.
• Coordinate Transportation: The best man may be in charge of arranging transportation for the couple to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport.

Remember, clear communication is essential, especially when there are multiple best men involved. Each best man should be aware of their specific responsibilities to ensure a smooth and enjoyable wedding experience for the groom and the entire wedding party.

The benefits of having two best men

While it is traditional for a groom to have one best man, it is becoming more common for grooms to have two or more. Having multiple best men can bring several benefits, and it is a great way to honour more than one person and provide additional support on the wedding day. Here are some advantages to having two best men:

No Need to Choose

One of the biggest pros of having two best men is that you don't have to choose between the most important people in your life. It can be challenging for a groom to select just one best man, especially if he has multiple close friends or family members. By having two best men, the groom can honour multiple relationships without feeling like he is sidelining anyone. This reduces the potential for hurt feelings and ensures that those closest to the groom feel recognised.

Shared Responsibilities

A best man typically has a lot of duties, and sharing these responsibilities between two people can make the role less overwhelming. The workload can be divided in a way that plays to each person's strengths. For example, one best man might be great at planning events, while the other is a confident public speaker. They can also divide tasks, with one best man in charge of the bachelor party and the other overseeing the groomsmen and wedding day logistics. This ensures that all the logistical details are well taken care of, providing the groom with a strong support system.

Mix of Personalities

Having two best men allows the groom to enjoy the unique aspects of each person's personality. This can also help relieve any potential tension or strife between wedding party members, as well as providing a mix of moral support, humour, and trusted people to lean on.

Aesthetic Benefits

Having two best men can also offer some aesthetic benefits for the wedding day and photos. With two best men, you can give them each a unique look that reflects their personality. It can also be a nice touch to have them wear matching accessories, such as personalised cufflinks, ties, or pocket squares, to make them stand out from the rest of the wedding party.

Shared Moments

There are many ways to involve both best men in key moments during the ceremony. For example, one can stand next to the groom at the altar, while the other holds the rings, or they can both walk down the aisle with the bridesmaids. These shared moments will make both best men feel valued and involved.

In conclusion, having two best men can provide benefits such as shared responsibilities, a mix of personalities, and honouring multiple important relationships. However, it is important to have clear communication and ensure everyone is aware of their duties to avoid any potential confusion or conflict.

How to ask someone to be your best man

While traditionally, weddings have always followed the custom of having a single "best man", it has become more common in recent years for grooms to have two or more "best men". The role of the best man is to provide emotional support to the groom, help with wedding planning and arrangements, and ensure everything runs smoothly on the wedding day. Having multiple best men can alleviate some of the stress and responsibilities, and ensure the groom has a strong support system in place.

Now, here are some tips on how to ask someone to be your best man:

• Consider whom you're asking: Being a best man is a big job and a significant time commitment. Before you ask, consider the person's availability and whether they are the right fit for the role.
• Plan around your favourite activity: Asking someone to be your best man while engaging in a shared interest or activity can make your request more personal and meaningful. For example, if you and your friend enjoy golfing together, you could ask them while playing a round of golf.
• Send a card: If you're not comfortable with an in-person conversation, sending a thoughtful card is a great alternative. You can use the card to express how much the person means to you, highlight your favourite memories together, or simply ask the question in a straightforward manner.
• Give a gift: There are many "proposal" gifts available, such as personalised t-shirts, mugs, or whiskey glasses, that can help you pop the question. Alternatively, you can give a gift that aligns with your shared interests, such as a bottle of wine or a personalised coffee mug.
• Just ask: Ultimately, your closest friends will be honoured to be by your side on your wedding day. You don't need an elaborate plan or a grand gesture. A simple, heartfelt request is often all that's needed.

Frequently asked questions