George Boyle
Jewish weddings in Biblical times were quite different from modern Jewish weddings. The ancient Jewish wedding process had two distinct stages: the betrothal, or kiddushin, and the nissuin, or marriage. The first stage, kiddushin, is when the couple becomes legally married, and the woman becomes prohibited to all other men. The second stage, nissuin, permits the couple to live together. The wedding feast, or seudah, that followed the nissuin could include seven full days of food, music, dancing, and celebrations.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Length of celebration | 7 days of food, music, dancing and celebrations |
| Bride selection | The groom's father chose a bride for his son |
| Bride price | 50 shekels of silver |
| Bride's estate inventory | Cash, property, livestock, businesses |
| Marriage contract | Ketubah |
| Dowry | Paid by the bride's father to the groom's father |
| Marriage consummation | Up to 7 years later |
| Wedding canopy | Chuppah |
| Wedding ring | Given by groom to bride |
| Glass-breaking | Included in the ceremony |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding feast
The ancient Jewish wedding feast was a time of great joy and spiritual significance. It was a highly anticipated event, especially for the groom, who would traditionally choose the bride, with the father's consent, and pay a "bride price" or "mohar". The father of the groom would negotiate the terms with the bride's father, and once agreed upon, all parties would gather for the betrothal ceremony, where the contract or "ketubah" would be signed, and the marriage legally binding.
The "ketubah" was a critical document in the ancient Jewish wedding process, detailing the groom's obligations to the bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations. It protected the rights of the wife and specified the groom's responsibilities in caring for her. The "ketubah" was signed by the groom, the bride, and two witnesses, usually not closely related to the couple. This contract held legal standing and could be used to dissolve the marriage if the specified obligations were not met.
The ancient Jewish wedding feast was a time-honoured tradition, full of ritual and celebration. It brought together families and communities in a joyous and spiritual union, setting the tone for the couple's new life together.
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The bride price
In biblical times, Jewish weddings were quite different from modern Jewish weddings. Marriage was a two-step process: first, the price was paid and an agreement was reached on the conditions of the sale; then, the groom took possession of the bride. The price paid by the father of the groom to the father of the bride was called a "bride price", "mohair", or purchase price.
The mohar was paid and gifts were presented, but a written contract was never mentioned in the Bible. However, the Book of Deuteronomy does refer to a "bill of divorcement" that the man gives to his wife if he wishes to end the marriage. The mohair institution was eventually transformed during late-biblical and post-biblical times. It became a lien to be paid by the husband in the event of a divorce or by his heirs in the case of his death.
The first stage of a Jewish marriage was the signing of the "ketubbah" or "ketubah contract", a legal contract between the father of the bride and the groom. The couple was considered fully married after this stage, but they did not consummate the marriage until a later stage. The ketubah specified the groom's responsibilities in caring for his wife and the amount of support that would be due to her in the event of a divorce.
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The ketubah (marriage contract)
The ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, is an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage. It outlines the groom's obligations to his wife, including financial and conjugal responsibilities, and what the wife is entitled to in the event of a divorce or the husband's death.
The ketubah is signed just before the wedding ceremony and is witnessed by two males. Traditionally, the ketubah was written in Aramaic, but today it can also be written in Hebrew, English, or other languages. The text is often purchased, but some couples choose to compose their own. The ketubah is often displayed in the couple's home after the wedding as a piece of art.
The earliest surviving ketubah dates back to 440 B.C.E., and the text was standardized in the first century C.E. The contract is mentioned in the Bible, specifically referring to the groom's family's payment to the bride's family upon marriage. However, a written contract is never mentioned in the Bible.
The ketubah has been adapted by liberal Jews to be more gender-inclusive, and there are now versions for interfaith and same-sex couples. The content of the contract may vary between communities, with different denominations having their own set of rules.
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The chuppah (wedding canopy)
The chuppah, or wedding canopy, is an integral part of Jewish weddings. It is a canopy under which the couple stands during their wedding ceremony. The canopy is made of cloth or sheet, sometimes a tallit, stretched or supported over four poles, or held up by attendants to the ceremony.
The chuppah is rich in symbolism. In a spiritual sense, it represents the presence of God overseeing the marriage covenant. The cloth canopy and the four poles symbolise the new Jewish home being created by the couple. The chuppah is open on all four sides, just as the tent of Abraham was open to guests, symbolising hospitality. The absence of furniture in this "home" highlights that the basis of a Jewish home is the people within it, not material possessions.
The chuppah ceremony is the second stage of a Jewish wedding, after the betrothal. In Biblical times, a couple would consummate their marriage in a room or tent, and this room was called the chuppah. The chuppah ceremony is connected to the seven blessings recited over a cup of wine after the ceremony (birchat nisuin or sheva brachot).
The chuppah's meaning has evolved over time. In ancient texts, when women had little autonomy, the word "chuppah" referred to the marital bed or preparations for intercourse. The cloth symbolised the roof of the groom's home, where he would consummate the union with his bride. In modern weddings, the canopy's meaning has broadened to represent the home that the couple is establishing together.
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The wedding rings
Jewish wedding rings, worn on the right index finger, came into use in Jewish circles probably during the medieval period. The ring is an iconic part of the wedding ceremony and is exchanged under the chuppah (marriage canopy). The groom gives the bride a ring, which carries a certain minimal monetary value, and this ring is worn daily thereafter. The ring is usually made of gold, which carries monetary value and does not tarnish or attract dirt—a hope that the marriage too will be lasting and beautiful. The ring is also a symbol of the equality of all people, including the married partners.
The ring's value should be apparent to avoid deception or misunderstanding at the outset of the marriage. The simple design of the ring, without any gemstones or other embellishments, represents a hope for honesty and purity in the relationship. The circle is considered the most perfect of all forms in nature, and ancient Greeks attributed mystical qualities of perfection to it. The circle also represents a hope for a beautiful, perfect marriage contracted by two imperfect people.
The bride price was usually set at 50 shekels of silver, and the groom would give the bride money or a valuable object, such as a ring, to seal their covenant vows. In modern times, with the acceptance of gay and lesbian marriages, many Jews have opted for a double-ring ceremony in which each partner gives the other a ring, pledging mutual sexual fidelity.
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Frequently asked questions
Jewish weddings in ancient times included seven days of feasting, music, dancing, and celebrations.
The "bride price" was the amount paid by the groom's father to the bride's father.
The "ketubah" is a marriage contract that details the groom's obligations to the bride.
The "chuppah" is a wedding canopy under which the couple stands during the ceremony.
The "sheva brachot" are blessings recited after the wedding banquet, following Birkat Hamazon (Grace after meals).
