Lyla Dejesus
Wedding thank-you notes are an important way to express gratitude to your guests for their attendance and gifts. While it may seem overwhelming, especially with wedding planning, it is considered good manners and proper etiquette to send these in a timely manner. There are differing opinions on how long you have to send these notes, with some sources saying within two weeks of receiving a gift or within three months of your wedding date, while others claim you have up to a year. It is recommended to send them sooner rather than later, but if they are late, it is better to send them eventually, with a focus on the gift-giver's thoughtfulness.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Time to send wedding thank-you cards | Within two weeks of receiving a gift if it arrives before the wedding. Within three months of the wedding date for gifts received after the wedding. |
| Who to send to | Every guest who attends the wedding, even if they don't give a gift. |
| What to write | A "thank you" and a mention of what you plan to do with the money (if gifted). |
| Type of card | Personal stationery or store-bought thank-you cards are best. |
| Colour of ink | Blue or black. |
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What You'll Learn
How long you have to send wedding thank-yous
Sending thank-you cards to your wedding guests is an important way to show your appreciation for their attendance and any gifts they may have given you. While it may be tempting to delay writing these notes, especially if you're waiting until after your honeymoon, it's best to send them out promptly.
For gifts received before the wedding, it's recommended to send thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving them. This is a good opportunity to thank guests for their generosity and let them know you received their gift. If you're unable to send physical cards before your wedding, a quick phone call to the gift-giver can be a good temporary solution.
After the wedding, aim to send thank-you cards within three months of your wedding date. This includes gifts received on your wedding day and those that arrive after your honeymoon. Sending notes within this timeframe ensures your gratitude is expressed in a respectful and timely manner.
While it's best to send thank-you cards as soon as possible, it's never too late to express your gratitude. If you find yourself sending notes later than expected, focus your message on how much you appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gift and your guests' presence at your celebration. Avoid making excuses for the delay, and instead, acknowledge their presence and the joy they brought to your special day.
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What to write in a wedding thank-you card
While it is a common tradition to send out wedding thank-you cards, it can be a confusing and daunting task. Here is a guide to help you with what to write in your wedding thank-you cards.
Timing is Important
It is considered good manners to send out wedding thank-you cards promptly. According to etiquette, you should send them within two weeks of receiving pre-wedding gifts. For gifts received on your wedding day, send the cards within three months after returning from your honeymoon. If you receive gifts after your honeymoon, you have up to three months from the date of receipt. While it is ideal to send them out as soon as possible, it is never too late to express your gratitude. If you are sending out belated thank-you cards, it is best to avoid making excuses for their lateness.
What to Write
According to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, a great thank-you card has three essential elements:
- Say "Thank You": Express your gratitude for their presence at your wedding and/or for their gift. If they travelled a long distance or made a particular effort to attend, be sure to mention this.
- Name the Gift: Mention the gift they gave you and how you plan to use it or how it will benefit you. For example, "The metallic vases look stunning in our living room. You'll have to stop by soon to see them."
- Say Something About the Gift: Share how much you appreciate their thoughtful gift. For example, "Thank you for your generous wedding gift. We are planning to put in hardwood floors on our main level later this year, and your gift brings us closer to making that a reality!"
Additional Tips
- Handwritten Notes: Wedding thank-you notes should always be handwritten to show that you took the time to write a thoughtful, personal message for each guest. Use blue or black ink and ensure your writing is neat and free of smudges or cross-outs.
- Batch Writing: To avoid feeling overwhelmed, write the notes in batches. Schedule an hour or two each day to work on a few cards at a time. You can also divvy up the task with your partner.
- Card Design: Choose a card design that represents you as a couple and will showcase your thoughtful message. Consider ordering customised stationery that matches your wedding invitations or theme.
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The best type of card to use
Monogrammed stationery is a great option for thank-you cards, but it is important to ensure that your married monogram is not used until after the wedding. You may also want to consider including a photo from your wedding on the card, but the timing can be tricky, so an engagement photo is a good alternative.
Each card should be handwritten and signed by both members of the couple. It is also important to use blue or black ink and to ensure that the writing is neat, with no smudges or crossed-out words. If you are writing to thank someone for a monetary gift, it is a good idea to mention what you plan to do with the money.
It is recommended to send thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift before your wedding, and within three months of your wedding date for gifts received after the wedding. However, it is never too late to express your gratitude, and your loved ones will surely appreciate the sentiment even if the card is sent later than this timeframe.
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Who to send thank-you cards to
While it is considered good etiquette to send thank-you cards to all your wedding guests, it can be time-consuming and overwhelming, especially if you had a large wedding. However, it is a task that should not be overlooked, as it is a way to express your gratitude to your guests for their attendance and gifts.
It is considered proper etiquette to send thank-you cards to all your wedding guests, regardless of whether they gave a gift or not. This is a way to show your appreciation for their presence on your special day. For those who gave gifts, it is a way to acknowledge the receipt of the gift and express your gratitude for their generosity.
If you had a large wedding with over 150 guests, writing individual notes to each guest can be daunting. In such cases, it is acceptable to keep the messages brief and concise while still personalising each note. You can also opt for digital thank-you notes, which are becoming increasingly acceptable in modern society. However, for certain guests, such as grandparents or godparents, a handwritten note may be more appropriate.
Additionally, it is a thoughtful gesture to send thank-you cards to those who hosted or helped organise pre-wedding events, such as a bridal shower or bachelorette party. If a guest gave you multiple gifts for different occasions, such as a wedding shower and the wedding itself, it is common to send them two separate thank-you notes.
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How to send thank-you cards
Sending thank-you cards to your wedding guests is a thoughtful way to express your gratitude for their presence and gifts. While it may seem like a daunting task, especially after the whirlwind of your wedding, taking the time to write personalised messages will surely be appreciated by your guests. Here are some tips on how to send wedding thank-you cards:
Timing is Key
It is recommended to send thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift before your wedding. For gifts received on or after your wedding day, it is considerate to send thank-you cards within three months of your wedding date or within three months of receiving the gift. It is generally best to send them as soon as possible, and ideally, on the day you receive the gift. While it may be tempting to wait and send them all at once after your honeymoon, it is important to be timely.
Format and Presentation
Handwritten notes on personal stationery or store-bought thank-you cards are the most common and preferred way to express gratitude. Monogrammed stationery is a nice touch but ensure it reflects your current name, so it may be best to wait until after the wedding to use your married monogram. While digital thank-you cards may be more convenient and environmentally friendly, traditional paper cards are more personal and show the extra effort you took to express your appreciation.
Content and Personalisation
Each thank-you card should be personalised and mention the guest's name and the gift they gave. It is also a nice touch to include a sentence or two about how you plan to use the gift or how it has already benefited you. For example, "Thank you for the generous gift. We are excited to use it for our upcoming honeymoon!" or "The vase looks stunning in our living room. You'll have to stop by soon to see it!" It is also considerate to thank guests for their presence at your wedding and any other contributions they made, such as helping with the food or entertaining out-of-town guests.
Other Considerations
If you are sending a large number of thank-you cards, it may be helpful to set a daily goal of writing a few each night or as you open your gifts, rather than leaving them all until after the wedding. Additionally, remember to thank other individuals who contributed to your special day, such as the wedding officiant, hosts or hostesses of wedding-related events, vendors who exceeded your expectations, and anyone who entertained your wedding guests.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended to send wedding thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift if it arrives before your wedding. For gifts received after the wedding, it is respectful to send thank-yous within three months of your wedding date.
While it is best to send physical thank-you cards, it is acceptable to send digital thank-you cards, especially if you are focused on your wedding's environmental impact.
Yes, every guest who attends your wedding should receive a thank-you card, even if they did not give a gift.
While it is best to send thank-you cards within three months of your wedding date, it is never too late to express your gratitude to those you love.
A wedding thank-you card should include a big "thank you" first and foremost. If you are sending a belated thank-you card, focus your message on how much you appreciate the thoughtfulness of their gift and their presence at your celebration.
