Rsvp Deadlines: How Long Should You Give Wedding Guests?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to waiting for RSVPs. While it's natural to want to know as soon as possible who will be attending, it's important to give your guests enough time to respond. The recommended timeline for wedding RSVPs is sending out invitations eight to twelve weeks before the wedding and setting the RSVP deadline around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives guests a window of about one month to respond and allows you time to confirm numbers with your venue and vendors. For destination weddings, it's advisable to send invitations earlier and set an RSVP deadline of two months before the wedding. To ensure timely RSVPs, make it convenient for your guests by including pre-addressed and pre-stamped envelopes or providing digital RSVP options through your wedding website.

When to send out invites

The timing of your wedding invites is crucial, as you want to give your guests enough time to plan and respond, but not so much time that they forget about your big day. It is recommended that you send out your invites eight to 12 weeks in advance of your wedding day. This gives guests enough time to prepare and make any necessary travel arrangements.

According to wedding etiquette, guests should respond at least six weeks before the wedding, so you have time to confirm numbers with your venue and even invite guests from your backup list. Sending your invites earlier gives your guests more time to respond, and if you want to know your numbers earlier than six weeks out, make the RSVP date very clear on the invite. You could also send your invites 16-12 weeks in advance, so you can chase people 8-10 weeks before the wedding.

For destination weddings, it is recommended that you give your guests as much notice as possible. Send your invites at least four months before the wedding, with the save-the-date sent at least nine months prior. This gives guests ample time to make travel plans. With a destination wedding, you will be glad to have an early RSVP deadline, so you can ensure every guest is accounted for and plan pre- and post-wedding events.

If you send your invites six to eight weeks before the wedding, give your guests four or five weeks to RSVP. This is plenty of time for people to decide if they can attend and make any necessary arrangements. Have your RSVP due date two to three weeks before the wedding. Your caterer will want a final headcount at least one week before the reception, and you'll need a few days to get in touch with people who haven't responded.

If you are sending out a second round of invitations to your B-list, consider sending digital invites via email. These are pretty, arrive quickly, and allow people to RSVP instantly. Some services will even track responses for you.

How long to give guests to RSVP

When it comes to wedding planning, it's essential to give your guests enough time to RSVP while also allowing yourself sufficient time to finalise the details. Here are some guidelines and tips to help you navigate this aspect of your wedding preparations:

Recommended Timeline for RSVPs

The recommended timeline for wedding RSVPs varies slightly depending on the source. Most sources suggest sending out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding and setting the RSVP deadline around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests a window of about one month to respond. It's not too far in advance that they might forget, and it's not so close to the wedding that they've already made other plans.

However, some sources recommend allowing a little more time, suggesting that invitations be sent out eight to twelve weeks before the wedding and that the RSVP deadline be set at four weeks before the big day. This earlier deadline gives you more time to confirm numbers with your venue and consider inviting people from your backup list if necessary.

For destination weddings, it's advisable to give guests even more notice. Invitations should be sent out at least four months in advance, with RSVPs due two months before the wedding.

Tips to Ensure Timely RSVPs

To ensure your guests respond promptly:

• Make it easy for them to reply. Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations, or provide a digital option by including your wedding website or phone number for text RSVPs.
• Make the RSVP date very clear on the invitation. Use a legible font, and consider including a countdown ticker on your wedding website if applicable.
• If you're concerned about timely responses, you can send a friendly reminder to your guests about a week before the RSVP deadline.
• If the RSVP deadline has passed and you're still waiting on some responses, give your guests a nudge with a phone call or text.

What to Do with Late Responses

If you have guests who haven't responded by your deadline, it's generally recommended to start following up with them the day after. Contact them to ask if they received the invitation and whether they plan to attend. If they're unsure, give them a deadline of 24 hours to respond, explaining that you need to provide final numbers to your caterer. If you still don't hear back within that timeframe, it's reasonable to count them out of your final guest count.

Finalising Details with Vendors

Your wedding vendors will require a final guest count in advance of the big day. Your caterer will typically want a headcount at least one week before the reception, and other vendors may have similar requirements. Aim to finalise your guest list and share the numbers with your vendors two to three weeks before the wedding. This will allow enough time to plan for meals, transportation, seating arrangements, and any other guest-dependent details.

In summary, giving your guests about a month to RSVP and setting a deadline of three to four weeks before the wedding will help keep your planning on track while also giving your guests ample time to respond.

What to do if guests don't RSVP

The ideal deadline for wedding RSVPs is three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives the couple enough time to organize their final guest list and figure out who, if anyone, hasn't responded yet. It also allows couples to provide a final headcount to their caterer, venue, and other vendors.

If guests don't respond to your wedding invitation by the deadline, here are some steps you can take:

• Send a Reminder: A week before the RSVP deadline, send a polite reminder via email or text message. This can be a generic message to all guests who haven't responded yet. Something like, "Hi, [guest name]! We're so excited for the big day! Just a friendly reminder that the RSVP deadline is approaching. Please let me know if you can make it by [date]. No worries if you can't attend, but I need to confirm numbers with the caterer."
• Make a Phone Call: If you still haven't received a response by the RSVP deadline, it's time to pick up the phone. Call your guests who haven't responded and politely but firmly ask for their response. They may have forgotten or felt embarrassed about not being able to attend.
• Send a Final Message: If you still haven't heard back after your phone call attempts, send one final text or email. Something like, "Hi [name], I hope you're doing well. I wanted to let you know that since the RSVP deadline has passed, I'm assuming you can't make it to the wedding. If you are planning to come, please let me know by the end of today. No worries if not!"
• Assume a "No": If you still haven't received a response after your final message, it's safe to assume that they aren't coming. You can't wait forever for their response, as you need to finalize numbers with your vendors. It's a good idea to have a few extra chairs on hand in case some non-responders do show up, but you are not obligated to accommodate them if your caterer can't provide food for them.
• Be Polite and Stay Calm: Remember that some guests may feel embarrassed or unsure about their attendance. It's important to stay polite and calm throughout the process, even if you feel frustrated.

Tips for Ensuring Timely RSVPs

To increase the likelihood of timely RSVPs:

• Include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitation.
• Provide options for responding, such as a wedding website or email address, in addition to postal mail.
• Use clear wording on your invitation, such as "The favor of your reply is requested by [date]."
• Add a fun call to action on the response card, such as "RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor."

How to speed up the RSVP process

The RSVP process can be a source of stress for couples planning their wedding. Here are some tips to help speed up the process and ensure you receive timely responses from your guests:

Set a Clear Deadline:

• The ideal deadline for RSVPs is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to finalise the details and provides a sense of urgency for your guests.
• Make sure the deadline is clearly stated on the invitation, wedding website, and any other relevant communication.

Send Invitations at the Right Time:

Send your invitations between six and ten weeks before the wedding. This gives your guests enough time to plan and make travel arrangements without being too far in advance that they might forget to respond.

Provide Multiple Response Options:

Offer both physical RSVP cards and a digital option through your wedding website. This caters to different guest preferences and increases the likelihood of a timely response.

Make it Easy for Guests:

Include pre-addressed and pre-stamped return envelopes with your invitations. This small detail removes a potential barrier and makes it more convenient for guests to respond promptly.

Be Clear and Direct:

• Ensure your guests understand the importance of responding and the deadline. Consider using wording such as, "The favour of your reply is requested by [date]."
• You can also include an engaging call to action on the response card, such as "RSVP with a song that will keep you on the dance floor."

Follow Up Promptly:

If your deadline has passed, don't hesitate to follow up with guests who haven't responded. Send a friendly reminder via phone, text, or email within a week of the deadline passing.

Start Planning Early:

The earlier you start the process, the better. Choose your RSVP method early on, even if you haven't sent out invitations yet. This gives you a head start on contacting guests and managing responses.

Finalise Your Guest List:

Finalise your guest list as soon as possible. This helps you stay organised and know exactly who you need to hear back from.

Factor in Vendor Needs:

Talk to your vendors (caterer, venue, etc.) to understand their deadlines and requirements. Work backwards from those dates to set your RSVP deadline, giving yourself a buffer to chase any late responses.

Be Firm with the Timeline:

Don't be afraid to enforce your timeline. It's okay to start contacting guests or reminding forgetful relatives as your deadline approaches.

Remember, even with these tips, there may be some guests who take longer to respond or require additional follow-up. Stay organised, enthusiastic, and on top of your guest list management to speed up the RSVP process as much as possible.

RSVP deadlines for destination weddings

Planning a destination wedding comes with a unique set of challenges, and setting an RSVP deadline is one of them. Here are some instructive guidelines and tips for setting RSVP deadlines for your destination wedding:

Recommended Timeline for Destination Wedding RSVPs:

The recommended timeline for destination weddings differs from traditional weddings. It is suggested that RSVPs for destination weddings should be due about two months or eight weeks before the wedding. This extended timeline is to accommodate the additional travel arrangements that guests need to make. Sending out the invitations about four months before the wedding gives guests ample time to plan their attendance and make the necessary travel bookings.

Final Headcount for Vendors:

It is crucial to coordinate with your wedding vendors to determine when they need the final headcount. Your caterer, venue, and other vendors will require a confirmed number of attendees to finalise their preparations. Typically, caterers and venues request this information one to two weeks before the wedding day. Therefore, it is essential to set your RSVP deadline with this timeline in mind, giving yourself a buffer to chase up any late responses.

Tips for an Accurate Headcount:

To ensure an accurate headcount for your destination wedding, consider setting up a personal wedding website or app. This way, you'll receive instant notifications when someone RSVPs, and you can easily log in to monitor the number of responses. Additionally, you can follow up with guests via phone or email to reconfirm their attendance if needed.

Sending Out Invitations:

When planning a destination wedding, it is advisable to send out invitations earlier than you might for a local wedding. Aim for two to three months before the wedding date. Sending invitations in advance is especially important if your wedding falls around busy holiday periods, as postal services tend to be slower during these times, and you want to ensure your invitations don't get lost in the mail.

Flexibility and Communication:

Remember that the RSVP deadline for a destination wedding may vary depending on your specific circumstances. If you've organised a group rate for your guests through a travel agent, you'll need to coordinate with them to determine when they require a final headcount. Similarly, if you're working with an all-inclusive resort, they will have their own requirements for confirming a guest count. Communicate with your wedding coordinator and vendors to understand their needs and set your RSVP deadline accordingly.

Example Scenario:

To illustrate, let's say your wedding is in June, and your venue and caterer need a final headcount by June 6th. You should set your RSVP deadline for around May 23rd, giving yourself a two-week buffer to chase any late responses and provide an accurate number to your vendors. This means sending out your invitations in early to mid-April to give your guests about one month to respond.

In summary, when setting RSVP deadlines for a destination wedding, allow for a longer response time, send out invitations earlier, and maintain clear communication with your vendors to ensure you have an accurate headcount for your special day.

Frequently asked questions