Rhiannon Hendricks
The bouquet toss is a well-known wedding tradition, but some brides are opting for an elimination dance instead. This sees couples asked to leave the dance floor based on how long they've been married, with the longest-married couple receiving the bouquet. The elimination dance is a fun way to kick off the dancing at a wedding reception, which also includes the newlyweds' first dance, parent dances, and the cutting of the cake.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Type | Alternative to a bouquet toss |
| Participants | Couples |
| Elimination criteria | Couples are asked to leave the dance floor by the number of years they have been married |
| Winner | The last couple dancing, i.e., the couple married the longest |
| Prize | The bouquet |
| Songs | "When I'm 64" by The Beatles, "Love and Marriage" by Frank Sinatra, "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton, "The Sweetest Thing" by Juice Newton, "The Way You Look Tonight" by Frank Sinatra, "Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison, "Have I Told You Lately" by Rod Stewart, "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce, "The Rose" by Bette Midler, "Through the Years" by Kenny Rogers, "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole, "That's All" by Nat King Cole, "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton, "I'll Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler, "I Swear" by John Michael Montgomery, "Grow Old With Me", "After the Loving" |
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What You'll Learn
Bouquet toss alternative
There are several alternatives to the traditional bouquet toss that you can incorporate into your wedding. Here are some ideas:
The Anniversary Dance
The Anniversary Dance, or Bouquet Dance, is a popular alternative to the bouquet toss. It is a great way to celebrate marriage and have the newlyweds share a dance with their married friends. The DJ or emcee will invite all the married couples to the dance floor with the newlyweds. As the dance progresses, the DJ will ask couples who have been married the shortest time, except the bride and groom, to leave the dance floor. This continues until the couple who has been married the longest is left on the dance floor with the newlyweds. The longest-standing couple is then presented with the bouquet as a token of honour and respect.
Bouquet Toss for Everyone
If you still want to include the bouquet toss, you can make it inclusive by inviting everyone, not just singles, to join. You can even add a twist by stuffing the bouquet with lottery scratch cards or replacing the bouquet with a stuffed toy or candy.
The Shoe Game
This is a fun game that doesn't require any substitutes. Designate someone to come up with a set of questions for the newlyweds and act as the MC.
Hand Out Flowers to Special Guests
Instead of tossing your bouquet, you can choose to honour a special friend, relative, or several beloved wedding guests by presenting them with flowers. This can be a thoughtful way to show your appreciation and ensure that your bouquet goes to someone you care about.
Bouquet Ribbon Cut
Incorporate this alternative by attaching multiple long ribbons to the stems of your bouquet. Each guest will take a turn cutting a ribbon until someone cuts the last ribbon and retrieves the bouquet.
T-Shirt Launcher
Create a custom T-shirt with your wedding date and your names on the front. Instead of tossing the bouquet, use a T-shirt launcher or slingshot to shoot the T-shirt to your guests. This alternative is best done outdoors, providing plenty of room for the activity.
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Length of song
The length of a song for a wedding elimination dance is not set in stone, but there are some general guidelines that can help you choose the perfect length for your special day.
Firstly, it's important to consider the type of dance you will be performing. If you are opting for a slow rhythm or ballad, keep in mind that these can be more challenging to dance to as the tempo decreases. In this case, you might want to choose a shorter song or edit it to a more manageable length. On the other hand, if you are planning a named dance like a waltz, foxtrot, or rumba, you may need a longer song to accommodate the specific steps and structure of the dance.
The general consensus among wedding dancers and choreographers is that the optimum time for a first dance should be between 2 to 3 minutes. This length is considered ideal as it gives you ample time to create a magical and romantic moment without feeling overwhelmed by the duration. Dancing in front of your guests for longer than this can feel like an eternity, and you may start to bore your audience.
However, it's worth noting that some couples do opt for longer songs, especially if they have a particular attachment to the entire piece. In these cases, you can consider fading out the song after a certain point or using song editing software to create a shorter version. This way, you can ensure that the most meaningful parts of the song are included without extending the dance beyond your comfort zone.
Ultimately, the length of your wedding elimination dance song should be guided by your personal preference and comfort level. If you feel more comfortable with a shorter dance, there are creative ways to incorporate your favourite parts of a longer song. Conversely, if you want to dance to the entire song, you can always invite other couples to join you halfway through to shift the focus and maintain the energy on the dance floor.
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Newlyweds' first dance
The first dance as newlyweds is a special moment as it's the first time the couple dances together as a married couple. The couple may have taken dance lessons for their moment in the spotlight, or they might choose to improvise. The dance usually takes place after the newlyweds make their grand entrance, although it can also happen after the meal if guests are sitting down to dinner after the grand entrance.
The first dance kicks off the reception on a joyful note, and it is followed by other traditional wedding dances, such as parent dances, the hora at Jewish weddings, and the bouquet and garter toss. The latter involves the bride tossing her bouquet to single ladies and the groom tossing the bride's garter to single men. The "winners" are expected to dance together. However, many couples feel that this tradition and corresponding dance are embarrassing and interrupt the flow of dancing, so they may choose to forego it.
An alternative to the bouquet toss is the elimination dance, where a song is played, and couples are asked to leave the dance floor based on the number of years they have been married. At the end of the song, the last couple dancing will be the ones married the longest, and they receive the bouquet. This dance can be a fun way to involve more couples in the celebration and create a memorable moment for the longest-married couple.
The length of the wedding dance floor time can vary, and it is a gamble to guess if a group of people will party until the very end. A middle ground is to be flexible and add an extra hour, but if people start leaving early, you can do a "fake exit" where you take the grand exit picture with a huge group and then those who want to stay until the end can come back afterward.
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Parent dances
The length of a wedding dance involving parents depends on personal preferences and the wedding timeline. There is no strict rule on when the dance should occur or how long it should be, but there are some general guidelines that can help you decide.
Firstly, consider the natural flow of the wedding and when you want to draw attention back to the dance floor. One suggestion is to have the parent dances right after the newlyweds' first dance, ensuring all guests' attention is on the dance floor. Alternatively, you can use the parent dances to mark the transition from dinner to the reception and really get the party started. Another option is to have the parent dances between courses or as guests are eating, as you'll have a captive audience. Many couples and their parents prefer to have this moment earlier in the evening before people drink and eat too much or before older guests leave.
Secondly, the length of the parent dances should be considered in relation to the newlyweds' first dance. The key is to keep the parent dances short and sweet, ensuring they don't overshadow the first dance. A good guideline is to keep the parent dances to around 2 minutes, with some sources suggesting a range of 2 to 3 minutes. This length is long enough to create a memorable moment with your parents without feeling too overwhelming or boring the guests.
If you're nervous about dancing in front of your guests, you may prefer to keep the dance shorter, and you can always combine the father-daughter and mother-son dances into one song to reduce the time and stress of being the center of attention. Discuss with your parents the songs they would like to dance to, and consider choosing a classic song that both generations can relate to or a song with special meaning to evoke the right emotions.
Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all answer, and you can tailor the parent dances to fit your unique wedding timeline and preferences.
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Older guests
When it comes to wedding dance etiquette, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that your older guests have a wonderful time. Firstly, group dances tend to attract a wider range of ages, so it is advisable to schedule these earlier in the evening before the older guests call it a night. This way, everyone can join in and feel included.
To ensure the comfort of older guests, it is recommended to keep them away from the speakers. Discuss with your musicians or DJ about managing volume and acoustics within the reception space. They are professionals at reading the crowd and will be able to adjust the volume accordingly, ensuring that your older guests can enjoy themselves without having to shout over the music.
When planning the dance schedule, consider including a mix of music genres to cater to all tastes and ages. Throw in some classics that your grandparents will love, such as Frank Sinatra, and perhaps a fun family-oriented song like "We Are Family". This way, you will create an inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels considered and valued.
Additionally, be mindful of the length of the dances. A single wedding dance should ideally last between one and a half to three minutes. This allows for photographs and introductions without monopolizing too much time. If you have a live band, you can extend the dance to three minutes to match the elevated energy of the live music.
Finally, consider the overall length of the dance floor being open. While some guests may be party animals, others might prefer a shorter celebration. A good middle option is to be flexible and add an extra hour, with the option to end early if people start leaving. This way, you can cater to both the rambunctious and the more subdued guests, ensuring everyone has a memorable time.
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Frequently asked questions
A wedding elimination dance should be long enough to eliminate all couples except the one married the longest. This couple is then given the bouquet.
A wedding elimination dance is an alternative to a bouquet toss.
A song is played, and during the song, couples are asked to leave the dance floor based on the number of years they have been married.
Some popular songs for a wedding elimination dance include "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton, "Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole, and "That's All" by Nat King Cole.
A wedding elimination dance can take place at any time during the wedding reception. It is important to consider the timing of other wedding traditions and activities, such as dinner, cake cutting, and the newlyweds' first dance, to ensure a smooth flow.
