Rhiannon Hendricks
A Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While wedding ceremonies vary, common features include a ketubah (marriage contract), a chuppah or huppah (wedding canopy), a ring owned by the groom that is given to the bride under the canopy, and the breaking of a glass. The length of an unorthodox Jewish wedding can vary depending on community and culture, but a room is often rented for 4-5 hours. The wedding ceremony itself usually takes place outdoors and can last anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes. The entire event is followed by seven days of celebration.
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What You'll Learn
The wedding ceremony
A Jewish wedding ceremony is a tapestry of biblical, historical, mystical, cultural, and legal customs and traditions. The rituals and traditions of the wedding ceremony are derived from both its legalistic particulars and its underlying spiritual themes. The wedding ceremony itself usually takes place under the open sky, recalling the blessing God gave Abraham that his children shall be "as the stars of the heavens." However, some Sephardic Jews conduct the ceremony indoors. The ceremony typically begins in mid-afternoon and ends late at night, but this can vary.
Before the wedding ceremony, the groom agrees to be bound by the terms of the ketubah, or marriage contract, in the presence of two witnesses, who then sign the document. The ketubah details the groom's obligations to the bride, including food, clothing, and marital relations. It is often a work of art in itself, written as an illuminated manuscript that is then framed and displayed in the couple's home.
The wedding party then enters the main ceremony area where all the guests are seated. They make their way towards the chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles, which represents the shelter and privacy of the home that the couple will create following their marriage. The bride and groom stand at the centre, surrounded by their closest friends and family, who provide support and strength with their love. The chuppah is reminiscent of Abraham and Sarah's tent, which was open on all four sides, a sign of their immense hospitality. The bride is escorted to the chuppah by her parents, who carry candles, and the groom is escorted by his parents. The candles are said to be reminiscent of the streaks of lightning that came down on Mount Sinai when God gave the Torah to the Jewish people.
Under the chuppah, the ketubah is read aloud, usually in its original Aramaic, but sometimes in translation. The rabbi or another prominent family member reads the document, which can be found in any local Judaica or online. The ketubah is then followed by the seven blessings of marriage, recited by family members and guests over a cup of wine, which is then drunk by the groom and then the bride.
The groom then gives the bride a ring, or another object of value, and recites a blessing: "Behold, you are betrothed unto me with this ring, according to the Law of Moses and Israel." The ring must be a simple gold band, without stones or blemishes, symbolising the couple's marriage to be one of simple beauty. At this point, the couple is officially married.
The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass by the groom, which symbolises the destruction of the Temple.
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The reception
The wedding ceremony, or Chupa, takes place under the chuppah, a canopy that represents the couple's new home. The chuppah is usually placed outdoors under the open sky, recalling the blessing God gave to Abraham that his children shall be "as the stars of the heavens". The bride is escorted to the chuppah by her parents, who carry candles, and the groom wears a kittel, a traditional white robe. The bride and groom do not wear any jewellery under the chuppah, symbolising that they are getting married for each other and not for material belongings.
The ceremony is characterised by an air of solemnity, with brides and grooms shedding tears at the magnitude of the moment. The ketubah, or marriage contract, is read aloud, and the groom gives the bride a ring or another object of value. The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass, symbolising the fragility of human relationships, the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and the hope that the couple's happiness and children will be as plentiful as the shards of the glass.
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The veiling ceremony
During the veiling ceremony, the bride and groom are often escorted to the chuppah (wedding canopy) by their respective mothers and fathers. The chuppah symbolises the couple's new home and is usually placed outdoors under the open sky. The bride's parents may carry candles, representing the "streaks of lightning" that descended on Mount Sinai when God gave the Torah to the Jewish people.
While the veiling ceremony is a longstanding tradition in Jewish weddings, modern brides may choose to wear the veil without covering their faces or forgo it altogether. The veiling ritual is adaptable to same-gender couples or couples with different gender identities.
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The breaking of the glass
There are several interpretations of the ritual's meaning. One interpretation is that the fragility of the glass suggests the frailty of human relationships. The glass is broken as a kind of incantation: "As this glass shatters, so may our marriage never break". The sound of the breaking glass is also thought to scare away evil spirits that prey on happy couples. Another interpretation is that the ritual symbolises the idea that sweetness can only exist alongside bitterness – that even on this day of joy, the world is still in turmoil.
The custom is thought to date back to the writing of the Talmud, when Mar bar Rabina broke an expensive goblet at his son's wedding feast to sober the rabbis present. By the Middle Ages, synagogue facades in Germany were inlaid with a special stone for smashing a glass at the end of weddings.
Some couples choose to have something made from the shards of their broken glass, such as a mosaic or another decorative piece, to display in their marital home.
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The meal and dancing
The men and women typically dance in separate circles, with a mechitzah (divider) in the middle of the dance floor, although at less religious weddings, there may be no mechitzah, and a natural separation of men and women occurs. In some cases, a handkerchief or other items, such as gloves or tablecloths, are used to "separate" dancers of the opposite sex, acting as a substitute for holding hands.
Dancing is a highly important part of Jewish weddings, and it is considered a huge mitzvah to bring joy to the bride and groom through dancing. Guests surround the couple on the dance floor, and at some point during the festivities, the newlyweds may even be lifted onto chairs while the guests clap and cheer.
The meal is another significant aspect of the celebration. It is customary for friends and family of the couple to host festive meals, known as "Sheva Brachot," for a week following the wedding. These meals are typically concluded with a recitation of blessings for the newlyweds. Additionally, on the Shabbat following the wedding, Persians traditionally host a festive meal called "Shabbat Aroosi" for the couple and the community. This meal is often held at a synagogue to maximize the number of celebrants, as joy is considered more profound when shared with many people in Jewish culture.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding ceremony itself can last anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes, depending on various factors such as location, singing, and weather. However, the entire wedding celebration, including pre-ceremony festivities and post-ceremony dining and dancing, can go on for several hours, typically starting in the mid-afternoon and ending late at night.
The wedding ceremony traditionally takes place under a chuppah, or canopy, symbolizing the couple's new home. The couple stands under the chuppah together, and the ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud. The groom then gives the bride a ring, after which the couple breaks a glass.
The level of formality varies, but generally, guests are expected to dress modestly. Men typically wear suits and cover their heads with kippahs, which are usually provided at the wedding venue.
Yes, certain parts of the wedding may be separated by gender. The wedding dancing is often separate by gender, and the wedding ceremony itself may also be separated.
