George Boyle
Indian weddings are a vibrant, festive occasion, full of rituals and celebrations that can last from three days to a full week. The actual wedding ceremony is usually held on the third day, and this can last between one and a half to two and a half hours. The entire third day can last up to 16 hours. The rituals and length of the ceremony vary depending on the region, religion, and local customs, but there are some key rituals common in Hindu weddings, such as Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi. Indian weddings are a significant event for the families involved, and they are often willing to spend a large amount of money on them.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Length of wedding | 3 days to a full week |
| Length of marriage ceremony | 2 to 3 hours |
| Number of guests | Large guest list |
| Food | Buffet-style, vegetarian and non-vegetarian options |
| Dress code | Vibrant colours, jewel-tone dresses, traditional Indian attire |
| Gifts | Money |
| Rituals | Ganesha Pooja, Mehendi, Sangeet, Kanyadaan, Saat Phere, Sindoor and Mangalsutra, Tarik ceremony, Barni Bandwhana |
| Language | Sanskrit |
| Music and dance | Bollywood-style dances, bhangra |
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What You'll Learn
Pre-wedding rituals and events
Indian weddings are a long process with various rituals that may take days to execute. The wedding venue is often booked over a year in advance, and at least six months of pre-planning is required to deal with logistics, music, catering, transport, and decorations. Indian weddings typically include much more than just a ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception. They usually last for a first, second, and even third day of celebrations.
Indian weddings have multiple pre-wedding events, rituals, and ceremonies. The first official announcement of the impending marriage is the lagna patrika, or engagement ceremony, during which the couple exchanges a written vow stating that the marriage ceremony will take place at a later date. The Sagai, or ring ceremony, is another important pre-wedding ritual, marking the beginning of wedding preparations. It is celebrated in the presence of a Hindu priest and close family members, and the couple exchanges rings to symbolize their willingness to start their life together. The date of the wedding is decided during the Sagai, and the families exchange gifts like sweets, clothes, and jewelry.
The Tilak ceremony is the first step in bonding the two families. It takes place at the groom's residence, where the male members of the bride's family visit to put Kumkum or vermilion on his forehead. This signifies that the bride's family has accepted him and that he will be a loving husband and responsible father. The families also exchange gifts, and the Tilak establishes a unique bond between them.
The Mehndi ceremony, or Mehendi, is another common pre-wedding event. It is held at the bride's house a couple of days before the wedding and is attended by all family members. The hands and feet of the bride are decorated with elaborate henna designs, and the family sings, dances, and celebrates.
The Sangeet is a fun, music-filled pre-wedding ceremony that has traditionally been a part of North Indian Hindu weddings but has now spread to South India as well. It is a chance for the two families to connect and get to know each other through music, special songs, and choreographed dances.
The Haldi ceremony, or 'pithi', is considered auspicious and is said to ward off evil. A paste of haldi, or turmeric, is applied to the bride and groom's bodies before their wedding day to beautify them.
The Aashirvaad ceremony is a soulful event where the bride's family, along with relatives and friends, visit the groom's residence and present the newlywed couple with sweets or fruits and gold/silver/diamond jewelry. The couple then touches the feet of the elders, who bless their new relationship.
Other pre-wedding rituals include the Roka ceremony, where the two families meet for the first time and exchange sweets, gifts, and dry fruits, and the selection of an auspicious date and time for the wedding by a Hindu priest or 'pandit'.
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The wedding ceremony
Indian weddings are a festive occasion, usually celebrated with extensive decorations, colours, music, dance, outfits and rituals that depend on the community, region and religion of the couple, as well as their preferences. The wedding ceremony itself can last anywhere from 2 to 3 hours, but it is often part of a much larger celebration that can last from 3 days to a full week.
The rituals and processes of a Hindu wedding vary depending on the region of India, local adaptations, family resources and the preferences of the couple. However, there are a few key rituals common in Hindu weddings, including Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi. Kanyadaan is the giving away of the daughter by the father, which is a poignant moment in the ceremony. Panigrahana is when the couple voluntarily holds hands near the fire to signify their impending union. Finally, Saptapadi is when the couple takes seven steps before the fire, with each step including a set of mutual vows. After the seventh step and the final vows of Saptapadi, the couple is legally husband and wife.
On the morning of the wedding, a mandap is constructed using four pillars. The priest, the couple, and the bride's parents are then seated under the mandap with a ceremonial fire pit placed in the centre, as fire is an important aspect of Indian weddings. The god of fire, Agni, is said to give life, and by lighting a fire, the couple is asking Agni to provide their marriage with longevity. The couple then proceeds with the Mangalphera, a ceremonious walk around the fire, during which they must circle the fire pit four times, with each circle representing a major goal in their marriage: dharma (morality), artha (prosperity), kama (personal gratification), and moksha (spirituality). They may be joined by string or tied scarves during this ritual. After their fourth cycle around the fire, they are officially married and must race to their seats.
Indian weddings are a big event, and it goes against many of the philosophies of the ceremony to have a small or intimate wedding. All family and extended relatives are invited, as well as close friends, and guests are expected to participate during steps in the ceremony as a show of blessing the couple.
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The wedding reception
Indian weddings are a grand affair, with festivities lasting days or even a week. The wedding reception is a significant part of the celebrations, a time for the couple's families to come together and celebrate the union of two families. The reception is a festive continuation of the wedding, a time for loved ones to sing, dance, and perform routines for the newlyweds. It is a time to let loose and celebrate with sumptuous feasts and lively dances.
The reception is a time for the couple to be showered with gifts and well-wishes. Gift-giving is a common tradition at Indian weddings, with money being one of the most typical gifts. The reception is also a time for grand entrances, with the newlyweds making a spectacular entry, often followed by a grand exit at the end of the reception.
The food at an East Indian wedding reception is a highlight, with rich and lavish dishes served in abundance. The menu typically includes a wide array of exciting canapés or starters, followed by a sumptuous feast with dishes like paneer, creamy curries, tandoori meat, and buttery naans. A dessert table is also a common feature, with cakes, kulfi (Indian ice cream), and decorated sweets. The food is often served buffet-style, with family-style dining, and sometimes there are late-night food options to keep the party going.
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Food and drink
In the lead-up to the wedding, families often host grand feasts with regional specialties, such as biryani, paneer tikka, samosas, and butter chicken curry. These pre-wedding rituals serve as a time for celebration and community gathering, paving the way for an auspicious start to the couple's marital life.
During the wedding ceremony itself, traditional Indian wedding dishes like samosas, sabzis, and paneer tikka are served, reflecting the cultural essence of the occasion. Each dish is meticulously prepared to honour age-old customs and convey best wishes for the couple's future. Rice, for instance, symbolises fertility and abundance, while the variety of dishes offered signifies the coming together of families.
The wedding reception is often a grand affair, with an array of mocktails, juices, and cocktails to accompany the food. Creative drink options might include a Cranberry Mixer, Raspberry Daiquiri, Multicolour Mixer, or a Classic Virgin Mojito. The food served at the reception can vary depending on the time of day and the preferences of the couple and their families. For example, naan bread is typically served during the evening reception, accompanied by both vegetarian and non-vegetarian options. In contrast, the daytime menu might feature puris or bathuras, vegetarian curries, rice, dhal, savouries, and sweets.
Indian weddings are known for their vibrant colours, bold flavours, and intricate rituals, and the food and drink selections play a pivotal role in creating an extravagant and memorable celebration.
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Clothing and attire
Indian weddings are a vibrant and colourful affair, and guests are encouraged to embrace the culture and wear traditional Indian clothing. The dress code should be stated on the wedding website or invitations. If not, it is best to reach out to someone in the bridal party to find out what to wear.
For women, a lehenga choli is a safe option. This consists of a long flowing skirt with a blouse and a dupatta (scarf) draped over the shoulder. Sarees are also a good choice, and these can be paired with matching jewellery. Women can also opt for a salwar kameez, which is a tunic with loose trousers and a scarf. Anarkali suits, consisting of a long flowing tunic with fitted pants or leggings, are also acceptable. Brocade skirts with an interesting top or embroidered jackets with slim pants are other options for the pre-wedding events.
For men, a kurta or a sherwani is a good choice. A dhoti set or simple kurta pyjamas in light colours are also options. For a cultural twist, a navy bandhgala suit, which fuses Indian influences with Western tailoring, can be worn.
Indian weddings often have multiple events, each with a different dress code. For the Sangeet, a pre-wedding celebration with music and dance, guests are encouraged to wear sparkly outfits. The Haldi ceremony is a religious ceremony where a yellow turmeric paste is applied to the couple, and guests are encouraged to wear yellow attire. For the Mehendi ceremony, shades of green are recommended. For the Phere, the final religious ceremony, guests should avoid wearing red, white, or black.
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Frequently asked questions
An East Indian wedding ceremony can last anywhere from three days to a full week. The actual nuptial ceremony and reception take place on the third day after two days of more intimate events. The marriage ceremony itself is typically 2 to 3 hours long, but the entire third day can last 16 hours.
The first day includes a ceremony known as the Ganesha Pooja—an intimate Hindu ceremony that takes place with close family and friends only. The second day is for the Sangeet, or Mehendi ceremony, and will often have guest participation. The Sangeet is a night of dancing where all the guests join the bride and groom to celebrate their marriage and the union of two families. This is also when the bride is adorned with henna tattoos on her hands and feet.
The third day is reserved for the Hindu wedding ceremony and reception. The ceremony, which is typically held in the morning, can last between one and a half to two hours.
There are a few key rituals common in Hindu weddings – Kanyadaan, Panigrahana, and Saptapadi. Kanyadaan is a poignant moment where the bride's father gives her away, symbolizing the transfer of responsibility. Panigrahana is when the couple voluntarily holds hands near the fire to signify their impending union. Saptapadi is when the couple takes seven steps before the fire with each step including a set of mutual vows.
