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A Yiddish wedding is a Jewish wedding ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While the length of a Yiddish wedding can vary, it typically lasts anywhere from 5 to 7 hours, including pre- and post-ceremony rituals. The main wedding ceremony, known as the Chuppah, can take up to 30 minutes, while the entire celebration, including dinner and dancing, can last until late at night. The length of a Yiddish wedding depends on various factors such as the couple's religious affiliation and their choice to incorporate different rituals.
Characteristics and Values of a Yiddish Wedding
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding ceremony | Takes place under a chuppah (wedding canopy) symbolizing the new home being built by the couple. |
| Chuppah | A cloth canopy held up by four beams, placed outdoors under an open sky. |
| Veiling ritual | Known as badeken in Yiddish, it involves the groom covering the bride's face with a veil before the ceremony. |
| Escort of the couple to the chuppah | In Orthodox Jewish communities, the bride is escorted by both mothers, and the groom is escorted by both fathers, known as unterfirers in Yiddish. |
| Marriage contract | Called ketubah, it is signed by the couple and witnessed by two individuals before the ceremony. |
| Rings | A ring owned by the groom is given to the bride under the canopy, fulfilling the bride price requirement. |
| Breaking of the glass | A solemn ceremony that marks the conclusion of the wedding ceremony, after which the atmosphere becomes joyous. |
| Duration | The entire wedding, including pre- and post-ceremony rituals, can last 5-7 hours. The chuppah ceremony typically takes 20-60 minutes. |
| Dining | Dinner is served after the ceremony, with the bride and groom joining their guests. |
| Dancing | Celebratory dancing, known as hora, can last from 2 hours to 4 hours or more. |
| Music | Traditional Yiddish celebratory music, such as Klezmer, is played during the wedding. |
| Aufruf | A Yiddish term for the groom's announcement of the wedding, which may involve blessings and the throwing of sweets. |
| Mikveh | A cleansing ritual performed by the bride before the wedding, symbolizing spiritual purity. |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding ceremony
The length of a Yiddish wedding ceremony varies according to the couple's religious affiliation and whether they decide to incorporate all the rituals. The ceremony itself (Chuppah) can last up to 30 minutes, depending on the readings' length. The entire wedding, including the pre-wedding rituals, ceremony, reception, and dancing, can take 5-7 hours.
Before the wedding ceremony, the couple may fast from sundown the night before, only breaking their fast with the first glass of wine at the ceremony. The couple may also choose to immerse themselves in a mikveh (ritual pool) to prepare spiritually for the wedding. The groom may also give a lecture on the week's Torah portion while his male friends and family interrupt and heckle him, known as the groom's tish. The couple then signs the Ketubah (marriage contract) in the presence of two witnesses who are not closely related to them. The ketubah details the groom's commitments to the bride and is often a beautiful piece of artwork that can be framed and displayed in the home.
The wedding party then enters the main ceremony area and stands under the chuppah (wedding canopy), symbolizing the new home being built by the couple. The bride and groom stand at the centre, surrounded by their wedding party, who form a protective wall, much like a family home. The bride and groom exchange rings, and the groom veils the bride, symbolizing his interest in her inner beauty. This ritual is known as the badeken or bedeken. The rabbi then recites the blessings of betrothal (kiddushin), and the couple drinks from the first cup of wine. The couple then exchanges vows, and the groom gives the bride an object of value, traditionally a plain ring, to signify their betrothal.
The ceremony concludes with the breaking of a glass, symbolizing the destruction of the Temple, and the couple spends a short time alone (yichud) before joining their guests for the rest of the celebration.
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The veiling of the bride
The Veiling Ceremony
The veiling ceremony is steeped in tradition and symbolism. Before the wedding ceremony, the groom, escorted by his father and the bride's father, rabbis, dignitaries, and other attendants, proceeds to the bridal reception area. Accompanied by his friends, who dance and sing merrily, the groom makes his way to the bride, who is seated on a beautifully adorned throne, surrounded by her attendants, close family, and friends.
The Veil's Significance
The veil itself carries profound meanings. Firstly, it symbolises modesty, indicating that the bride's soul and character are of greater importance than her physical beauty. This act also signifies the groom's commitment to clothe and protect his bride, emphasising that he is interested in more than just her external beauty, which may fade over time. Additionally, the veil serves as a reminder of the story of Jacob, Rachel, and Leah in the Book of Genesis, where Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah before Rachel due to her veiled face.
Variations and Adaptations
While the veiling ceremony is a longstanding tradition, it is not mandatory for all Jewish weddings. Liberal and progressive Jewish communities often adapt customs to align with egalitarian values, especially for same-gender couples. For instance, in some weddings, both the bride and groom circle each other three times, symbolising the centrality of one spouse to the other or representing the matriarchs and patriarchs of their faith.
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Signing the marriage contract
The signing of the marriage contract, or 'ketubah', is an integral part of a traditional Jewish wedding. The ketubah outlines the groom's financial and conjugal obligations to the bride, as well as what the wife should receive in the event of a divorce or death. It is considered a legally binding agreement, though it may be difficult to collect the amounts stipulated in a secular court.
The ketubah is usually signed shortly before the wedding ceremony and is witnessed by two people. These witnesses are typically not closely related to the couple, but family and friends may be present for the signing. The witnesses must be upstanding Jewish male adults who follow the Torah and observe Shabbat. The ketubah is then given to the couple's wedding planner, who seals the document in a protective sleeve and places it beneath the chuppah, or wedding canopy, during the ceremony.
The ketubah is traditionally read aloud under the chuppah, usually in its original Aramaic or sometimes in translation. The officiant, or rabbi, reads the contract to the entire group, after which the groom traditionally hands the contract to the bride, who accepts it. The ketubah is often then framed and displayed in the couple's home as a reminder of their wedding day and their commitment to one another.
The content of the ketubah varies between communities, with some communities including specific amounts of money to be paid in the event of a divorce or death. In modern times, many couples choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better reflect their relationship. These texts often focus on the values that will underpin the marriage, such as love and mutual promises, rather than the traditional focus on the husband's obligations to his wife.
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Breaking the glass
The breaking of the glass is a well-known tradition in Jewish weddings. It is a joyous tradition that signifies a moment of happiness and reflection and is usually done at the end of the ceremony. The glass, wrapped in a cloth or napkin to prevent injury, is placed on the floor in front of the groom, and sometimes the bride as well. The couple then smashes the glass together, which is followed by a communal shout of "Mazel Tov", meaning "good luck" or "good fortune" in Yiddish.
There are several interpretations of this tradition. Some see it as a reminder of the destruction of the First Temple of Jerusalem, while others believe it signifies the breaking down of barriers between people of different cultures and faiths. The fragility of the glass also suggests the frailty of human relationships, reminding us that even the strongest love is fragile and must be treated with care. This act of breaking the glass is also believed by some to be a way to scare away evil spirits and protect the marriage.
The custom of breaking the glass is believed to date back to the writing of the Talmud. According to the story, Mar bar Rabina made a marriage feast for his son and observed that the rabbis present were very happy. He seized an expensive goblet and broke it to sober them, implying that where there is rejoicing, there should also be trembling. By the Middle Ages, synagogue facades in Germany were designed with a special stone for smashing a glass at the end of weddings.
The broken glass is often preserved by couples, who may choose to have something made from the shards, such as a mosaic or another decorative piece, to display in their marital home.
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Dinner and dancing
The dinner at a Yiddish wedding is a celebratory meal following the religious ritual of the wedding ceremony. It is called a 's'eudah mitzvah' in Hebrew. The meal usually takes place in a dining hall, either just inside the building or further afield, and lasts between 45 and 75 minutes. The bride and groom will appear at the beginning of the dinner and the groom will often circulate on the men's side with a bottle, offering guests a 'L'chaim' (toast).
The dancing at a Yiddish wedding is a highly anticipated part of the celebration. It can last anywhere from 2 hours to 4+ hours, with people dropping out of the circle to rest and refresh throughout. The dancing often ends between 11 pm and 1 am. There is no obligation for guests to stay for the entire duration, and by the end, many of those remaining are close relatives and friends.
The dancing typically begins with the 'Hora', a celebratory dance where the bride and groom are lifted up on chairs. This is followed by the 'Mitzvah Tantz' or 'Mitzvah Dance' (literally 'mitzvah-dance' in Yiddish), an ancient custom where male relatives of the groom dance before the bride, holding one end of a long sash while she holds the other end. This is a highly spiritual moment, and the bride usually prays silently throughout. The dance is considered a great honour and is an opportunity to rejoice before the bride and wish the couple success in their life together.
Other dances at a Yiddish wedding include the 'Mezinke Tanz', a dance to honour parents who have married off their last child, and the 'Klezmer', a traditional Yiddish dance.
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Frequently asked questions
The length of a Yiddish wedding depends on various factors, such as religious affiliation and the number of rituals included. The main ceremony usually takes 25-45 minutes, but the entire event, including pre and post-ceremony rituals, can last 5-7 hours.
Before the wedding, the couple signs the Ketubah (marriage contract). Then, there is the Bedeken (veiling), which can take up to 30 minutes. The couple may also perform a cleansing ritual (Mikveh) and receive blessings during the Aufruf (announcement of the wedding).
Following the ceremony, there is usually a reception with food, drinks, music, and dancing. The couple may break their fast in the Yichud room, exchange gifts, and take pictures. The wedding is typically followed by seven days of celebration (Sheva Brachot).
