Franklin Dean
Vietnamese weddings are a blend of ancient rituals and contemporary celebrations, with family playing a central role. The length of a Vietnamese wedding depends on the couple's preferences and how closely they adhere to traditions. Typically, the wedding day includes a religious ceremony in the morning or afternoon, followed by a large reception in the evening. The reception features a grand entrance, welcome photos, table visits, food, alcohol, and entertainment. While there is no standard duration for Vietnamese weddings, they are described as not being too long, especially for older guests.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding attire | The bride and groom wear áo dài, a type of traditional Vietnamese clothing. The bride's outfit includes a long-sleeved, high-collared gown and an extravagant outer cloak. The groom's outfit is less varied in design. |
| Wedding date | Couples choose a meaningful and auspicious date and time, considering factors such as birthdays, Chinese zodiac signs, and elements. |
| Pre-wedding customs | The groom's family visits the bride's home to ask for her hand in marriage and discuss the intention for marriage. |
| Wedding ceremony | The ceremony may include monks and is followed by a reception. The couple may leave to take photos in a different location before returning for the reception. |
| Reception | A traditional Asian party with lots of food and alcohol. There may be lion dancers and drinking games. Cognac is a popular spirit. |
| Post-wedding | There may be an afterparty for younger guests. |
| Gifts | Guests bring envelopes containing cash and place them in boxes for the bride's and groom's families. |
| Symbols | Betel leaves and areca nuts, "Song Hy" (double happiness), money offering (Tien nap), wedding umbrellas, and lacquer gifts. |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding attire
The wedding attire is an important part of Vietnamese wedding traditions. The bride typically wears a traditional Vietnamese wedding dress or a modern Ao Dai, with the most popular colours being red, pastel pink, soft gold, and white. The Ao Dai is a long, elaborate gown with long sleeves, a high collar, and a matching tiered headpiece called a khan van. The groom's outfit, or the male equivalent of the Ao Dai, is called the Ao Gam, and is designed to complement the bride's outfit in style and colour. Grooms can also wear suits and white dress shirts.
The Ao Dai is also worn by guests, and it is common for guests to wear brightly coloured clothes to signify happiness for the couple. Bridesmaids and groomsmen may also wear the Ao Dai, with the bridesmaids wearing matching pink gowns or a colour that contrasts with the bride's gown, and the groomsmen wearing black, blue, or matching the bridesmaids' gowns.
In interracial marriages, the Vietnamese bride or groom may also incorporate their spouse's culture by wearing their family's traditional clothing or merging traditions from the other culture into the wedding ceremony. For example, one source mentions that the traditional Vietnamese bride wears red, but the bride chose to wear yellow, which was her favourite colour, and the groom wore emerald green to coordinate.
Engagement photos in wedding attire are also common in Vietnamese wedding traditions, and it is typical for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding day and even go shopping with her to pick it out.
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Traditions and rituals
Vietnamese wedding traditions are a blend of ancient rituals and contemporary celebrations, influenced by Confucian and Buddhist ideologies. The wedding is considered one of the most important ceremonies in Vietnamese culture, and family plays a significant role. The marriage is seen as a union not only of the couple but also of their families.
The wedding date is carefully selected to be meaningful and auspicious. The couple may visit a temple with their parents to determine an auspicious date and time based on factors such as birthdates, the Chinese zodiac, and elements. The proposal ceremony is another important ritual, where the groom's family visits the bride's home to express their intention to marry. This is followed by the engagement ceremony, where the groom's family proceeds to the bride's family home to ask for her hand in marriage, carrying gifts in red tin baskets (Mâm Qua) covered with a traditional red cloth. After receiving approval, the families exchange gifts and proceed with the wedding ceremony.
The wedding attire, known as Áo dài, is a significant aspect of Vietnamese weddings. The bride typically wears a long-sleeved, high-collared gown, often with an extravagant outer cloak, and a headpiece called Khăn vấn or Khăn đóng. The groom's attire, also known as Áo dài, may feature thicker fabric and more ornate designs. The bridal party may also wear Áo dài, with the bridesmaids in matching pink gowns or a colour contrasting the bride's gown, and the groomsmen in black, blue, or matching the bridesmaids.
The Tea Ceremony is a crucial part of the wedding, combining the celebration of marriage with honouring the ancestors and relatives of both families. During this ceremony, the couple takes their vows, exchanges rings, and serves Green Tea or Chrysanthemum Tea to their elders as a sign of respect. Family members then gift the couple with money, jewellery, and advice for a happy marriage. The ceremony concludes with the lighting of a large dragon and phoenix candle, symbolising the fusion of the two families.
Other traditions include the mother of the bride combing her daughter's hair and offering instructions on being a good wife, mother, and daughter-in-law. The groom's family leads a procession to the wedding, with the representative of the groom's house, followed by the groom's father, the groom, and other family members and friends. The wedding reception often includes lion dancers to bless the couple and cultural entertainment for the guests. Food and alcohol are also significant aspects of Vietnamese weddings, with Cognac being a favoured spirit. "Welcome Photos" and "table visits" are also common, where the couple greets and thanks each table of guests.
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Food and drink
The newlyweds greet each table during dinner service to thank them for coming, in a custom called chào bàn, which translates to "hello, friend". Tables with elders are met with words of wisdom and cheers, while tables with younger guests often play short drinking games with the couple.
A traditional tea ceremony, or vu quy, is also included in the festivities, where the couple presents tea to their parents and grandparents. When the elders drink the tea, it symbolises their acceptance of the marriage, and they then offer advice for a long-lasting, healthy relationship. The newlyweds also treat the family representatives to the national drink.
The wedding gown is often reserved only for the wedding day, with the bride's outfit including an extravagant, transparent outer cloak. The groom may also wear an áo dài, with both the bride and groom wearing a headpiece called a khăn vấn. The bride's gown is typically long-sleeved and high-collared, while the groom's design does not vary much. The wedding clothing design can range in sleeve length, collar type, and the type of materials used to create the gown.
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Gifts and money
In Vietnamese culture, gifts and money are exchanged during several rituals before and after the wedding. One of the most important rituals is the Đám Hỏi, or the formal engagement ceremony, where the groom and his family ask the bride's family for her hand in marriage. During this ceremony, the groom's family presents gifts to the bride's family, such as fruits, betel leaves, areca leaves, wine, tea, cakes, tobacco, jewellery, and a roasted pig. These gifts are considered a dowry and are presented in an odd number of lacquer boxes called mâm quả, covered in red paper or cloth. Red and gold are considered lucky colours in Vietnamese culture.
During the Đám Hỏi, the bride's family also presents gifts to the couple, such as an áo dài for the bride, which is a traditional Vietnamese outfit. The groom may also present the bride with jewellery, such as a necklace and earrings, during this ceremony.
At the wedding ceremony, guests are expected to give monetary gifts in red envelopes or cards, known as "red envelope" tradition. The amount given is usually equivalent to the cost of their meal. This tradition is based on the belief that it will alleviate financial stress on the newlywed couple, who typically pay for the wedding themselves. The money is also believed to bring prosperity, health, and happiness to the couple, and is referred to as "money warding off evil spirits", offering protection from sickness and death.
After the wedding ceremony, the couple will visit each table to greet their guests and collect the envelopes or cards with the monetary gifts. These gifts are considered a blessing for the couple and are an important part of Vietnamese wedding culture, where family and ancestor honouring are highly valued.
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Music and entertainment
The wedding ceremony combines the celebration of marriage with honouring the family's ancestors and relatives. The Tea Ceremony is one of the most compelling and emotional parts of a Vietnamese wedding. It is considered the proper meeting of both families, and it is also when the bride and groom take their vows and exchange rings. The couple will serve Green Tea or Chrysanthemum Tea as a sign of respect, starting with the eldest family members. The ceremony concludes with the lighting of a big dragon and phoenix candle, symbolizing the fusion of two families.
Vietnamese wedding receptions are often similar to a traditional Asian party, with lots of food and alcohol. Cognac is a highly favoured spirit at Vietnamese weddings. There is usually a lion dancer performance to bless the couple for a long and happy marriage. During dinner, the newlyweds greet each table to thank them for coming in a custom called chào bàn, which translates to "hello, friend". While tables with elders are met with words of wisdom and cheers, tables with younger guests often play short drinking games with the couple.
Vietnamese weddings are a blend of ancient rituals and contemporary celebrations. There is usually some form of entertainment, such as karaoke, and the couple's families often gift the newlyweds with money, family jewellery, and advice for a long-lasting marriage.
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Frequently asked questions
The length of a Vietnamese wedding ceremony depends on the number of rituals and ceremonies the couple chooses to include. A typical Vietnamese wedding includes six essential ceremonies, including the proposal ceremony, engagement ceremony, and wedding ceremony. The wedding ceremony itself may include a religious ceremony in the morning or early afternoon and a large wedding reception in the evening.
A Vietnamese wedding reception is like a traditional Asian party, with lots of food and alcohol. It generally doesn't last too long, as older people tend to want to leave early. There might be an afterparty for younger guests after the reception.
Planning a Vietnamese wedding can take a long time, as there are many traditions and rituals to consider. One of the first steps is to select an auspicious date, which involves taking into account factors such as birthdays, time, Chinese zodiac signs, and elements.
