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A Jewish wedding is a ceremony that follows Jewish laws and traditions. While the length of a Jewish wedding can vary, they typically start in the midafternoon and end late at night. The wedding ceremony itself, Chupa, usually takes place outside and lasts 20 to 60 minutes. The wedding day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the couple, and they are treated like royalty. The bride and groom are dressed in white, symbolising purity, and the groom wears a Kittel, a traditional white robe. The wedding ceremony takes place under the Chuppah, a canopy that symbolises the home of Abraham and Sarah. The Chatan (groom) breaks a glass under the Chuppah, symbolising the destruction of the temple. The wedding banquet includes dancing, singing, eating, and drinking, and is broken up into two celebrations: one for men and one for women.
Characteristics and Values of an Orthodox Jewish Wedding
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding Day | A personal Yom Kippur for the couple, where their previous transgressions are erased and they receive a new soul. |
| Wedding Attire | The bride wears white, symbolic of purity. The groom wears a Kittel, a traditional white robe, also worn on Yom Kippur. Persian grooms wear a distinctive embroidered kippah. |
| Pre-ceremony | Kabbalat Panim, a reception held in honour of the bride and groom, where they are considered royalty. |
| Two separate receptions are held, one for the bride and another for the groom. | |
| The bride and groom do not meet for a week before the wedding, and in some extremely Orthodox cases, they do not meet during the engagement. | |
| The groom is called upon to recite a blessing over the Torah, and the congregation throws nuts, almonds, and raisins, wishing the couple a fruitful marriage. | |
| Veiling Ceremony | Badeken, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil, symbolic of her innate modesty and inner beauty. |
| Wedding Ceremony | Chupah or Huppah, a solemn ceremony performed under a wedding canopy, symbolizing the home of Abraham and Sarah. |
| The groom gives the bride a simple ring, with no embellishments, owned by the groom. | |
| The Ketubah, an ancient marriage contract, is read and signed by two witnesses. | |
| The groom breaks a glass with his right leg, symbolizing the destruction of the temple. | |
| The ceremony lasts 20-60 minutes, depending on location, singing, weather, etc. | |
| Wedding Feast | There is dancing, singing, eating, and drinking. |
| The celebrations are initially segregated, with men and women in separate rooms. | |
| After a few hours, a livelier celebration begins with men and women mixing. | |
| Dancing is a major feature, with guests dancing in front of the couple to entertain them. | |
| Post-wedding | The celebrations continue for seven days (sheva brachot). |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding ceremony
Kabbalat Panim (Pre-Ceremony Reception)
The wedding day typically starts in the midafternoon with the Kabbalat Panim, a special reception held in honour of the bride and groom. During this time, the couple is likened to royalty, and they receive relatives and friends, with the bride greeting women and the groom greeting men. The couple offers blessings to their guests, as it is believed that on their wedding day, they possess a power of prayer greater than that of the holiest person alive.
Badeken (Veiling Ceremony)
After the Kabbalat Panim, the Badeken, or veiling ceremony, takes place. The groom, often accompanied by his family, proceeds to the bridal reception room, where he veils the bride's face. This custom, originating with Rebecca veiling her face before meeting Isaac, symbolises the groom's interest in the bride's inner beauty and her innate modesty.
Chuppah (Wedding Canopy)
The chuppah ceremony is the actual wedding ceremony, usually held outside under the stars. The bride and groom stand together under the chuppah, which symbolises the open and welcoming home of Abraham and Sarah. The chuppah ceremony is traditionally solemn, with an awareness of the magnitude of the moment. The groom wears a Kittel, a traditional white robe, and the bride wears a white gown, symbolising God's atonement and purity.
Kiddushin (Betrothal)
During the kiddushin, the groom gives a simple ring to the bride, fulfilling the halachic obligations. The groom recites, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the law of Moses and Israel." This act symbolises the sanctification and dedication between the couple, marking the point when the woman becomes prohibited to all other men.
Ketubah (Marriage Contract)
The ketubah, an ancient marriage contract, is read aloud, often by the Rabbi or a prominent family member. It is then signed by two witnesses, formalising the union.
Breaking of the Glass
The chatan (groom) breaks a glass under the chuppah to symbolise the destruction of the Temple and the coming of the Messiah. This act also signifies the conclusion of the solemn chuppah ceremony, transitioning into a joyous celebration.
Yichud (Private Moment)
Following the chuppah, the couple retreats to a private room to break their fast and share an intimate moment before joining the wedding feast.
Wedding Feast and Celebrations
The wedding feast is a time for dancing, singing, eating, and drinking. It is divided into two parts: the first involves separate celebrations for men and women, while the second part, after the older guests leave, allows for mixing and includes more lively dancing. It is customary for guests to dance in front of the seated couple to entertain them.
Sheva Brachot (Seven Days of Celebration)
Following the wedding day, there are traditionally seven days of celebration, known as Sheva Brachot, where the festivities continue.
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The wedding banquet
After a couple of hours, the second part of the banquet begins, which is more lively. This occurs after the older guests leave, and there is a mixing of men and women (not at orthodox weddings), and a dance is usually involved. This is when the serious hora begins, with everyone heading to the middle of the room. Dancing can run from 2 hours to 4 hours or more, with people dropping out of the circle throughout to rest and refresh. It is customary for the guests to dance in front of the seated couple and entertain them.
Traditional Ashkenazi dances include The Krenzl, in which the mother of the bride is crowned with a wreath of flowers as her daughters dance around her, and The Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the bride or groom when their last child is wed. There is no obligation to stay for the entire duration of the banquet, and it is common for those with children to leave early.
During the banquet, it is customary to serve bread, and guests may be offered a slice at the start of the meal or after the first dance. It is also common to see nuts, almonds, and raisins at the banquet, symbolising the congregation's wishes for the couple to have a sweet and fruitful marriage.
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The wedding feast
After a couple of hours, a more lively celebration begins, usually after the older guests have left. This part of the feast involves the mixing of men and women, although this does not occur at Orthodox weddings. Traditional Ashkenazi dances include the Krenzl, where the bride's mother is crowned with a wreath of flowers and her daughters dance around her, and the Mizinke, a dance for the parents of the couple when their last child is wed.
The wedding banquet also includes an enhanced version of the call to Birkat Hamazon, with prayer booklets called bentshers handed out to guests. After the prayers, a blessing over the wine is recited, with two glasses of wine poured together into a third, symbolising the creation of a new life together.
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The pre-ceremony reception
The Kabbalat Panim is followed by the Badeken, or veiling ceremony, where the groom covers the bride's face with a veil. This custom, which originated with the matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face when meeting her groom, Isaac, emphasizes the groom's interest in the bride's inner beauty, as well as her innate modesty.
It is customary for guests to arrive on time for the pre-ceremony reception, as this is also an opportunity to guarantee a good view during the Badeken. It is also worth noting that, while Jewish weddings are typically evening affairs, they may start as early as 5:30 pm.
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The marriage contract
The Jewish marriage contract, known as the ketubah, is an integral part of a traditional Jewish marriage. The ketubah outlines the groom's obligations to the bride, including providing her with food, clothing, and marital relations. It also specifies a fixed sum of money that the wife should receive in the event of a divorce or if she outlives her husband.
The ketubah is typically signed before the Chuppah ceremony, in a quiet and secluded area of the wedding venue. Two witnesses, who are Jewish male adults, sign the contract, and it is then handed to the bride or her mother for safekeeping. The ketubah is often displayed prominently in the couple's home as a daily reminder of their vows and responsibilities to each other.
In ancient times, the ketubah was written in Aramaic, the traditional language of Jewish law. However, in modern times, it is common to have the ketubah in Hebrew or another vernacular language, with some communities also providing an additional official version in Hebrew. The ketubah usually includes the date, day of the week in relation to the Jewish Sabbath, the names of the bride and groom, and their patriarchal lineage.
The signing of the ketubah is a significant moment in the Jewish wedding process, marking the couple's commitment to each other and their spiritual growth. It is one of the two distinct stages of a Jewish wedding, the first being kiddushin (betrothal) and the second, nissuin (marriage), when the couple starts their life together.
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Frequently asked questions
The Jewish wedding ceremony, Chupa, usually takes place outside and lasts anywhere from 20 to 60 minutes.
The wedding celebration typically starts in the midafternoon and ends late at night, followed by seven days of celebration.
The reception, or Kabbalat Panim, is held before the ceremony and can last a few hours.
