Junior Rasmussen
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to how long an engagement should be. The length of an engagement depends on several factors, including personal preference, work schedules, and the availability of the desired venue. The average engagement length in the US is between 12 and 18 months, with 15 months being the most common duration according to surveys. A longer engagement provides more time for planning and saving up for the wedding, while a shorter engagement can keep things exciting and allow couples to marry their partner sooner. Ultimately, the decision on the length of an engagement should be based on what works best for the couple and allows them to enjoy their engagement period while planning their future together.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Average engagement length in the US | 12-18 months |
| Average engagement length in the US (since 2022) | 15 months |
| Average engagement length (2021) | 16 months |
| Average engagement length (2020) | 15 months |
| Average engagement length (2019) | 14 months |
| Minimum recommended engagement length | 6-9 months |
| Recommended engagement length for DIY projects | More than 8 months |
| Recommended engagement length for couples with busy schedules | More than a year |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who require time to save up | Longer than average |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who want to personalize their wedding | Longer than average |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who want to maintain excitement | Shorter than average |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who want to avoid stress | Shorter than average |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who want to enjoy being engaged | Shorter than average |
| Recommended engagement length for couples who want to avoid vendor issues | Longer than a year |
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What You'll Learn
Average engagement length: 12-18 months
The average engagement length in the US is between 12 and 18 months. This timeframe explains why winter is the most popular time to get engaged, while summer is the most popular time to get married. A 12- to 18-month engagement gives couples ample time to plan their wedding and also allows for some downtime to simply enjoy being engaged.
There are several factors to consider when determining the length of your engagement. For example, if you want a summer wedding but got engaged in spring, you might need to wait until the following year. Similarly, if you have a specific date or venue in mind, you may need to book well in advance—sometimes over a year.
The length of your engagement will also depend on personal circumstances and preferences. For instance, if you or your partner are still in school or living abroad, a longer engagement might be preferable. On the other hand, if you're planning an intimate elopement or tend to lose steam with long timelines, a shorter engagement could be more suitable. Ultimately, there is no "normal" or right engagement length—it's up to you and your partner to decide what works best.
While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, a general recommendation is to wait about three weeks after getting engaged before jumping into wedding planning. This gives you time to savour the excitement of your engagement without losing momentum. Once you start planning, take it step by step, focusing first on the budget and estimated guest count, and then researching venues at your own pace.
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Pros and cons of a long engagement
The length of an engagement varies from couple to couple. While some couples are content with planning their wedding in a few short weeks, others wait years before walking down the aisle. The average length of an engagement in the US is between 12 and 18 months, with some sources placing the average engagement length at 13 months.
There are advantages and disadvantages to both short and long engagements. Here are some pros and cons of a long engagement:
Pros
- You'll have more time to save money. Weddings are expensive, and a longer engagement gives you a chance to save money or spread out the spending, helping you avoid going into debt.
- You won't feel rushed during the wedding planning process. With a longer engagement, you can take your time with the planning and enjoy the process without feeling overwhelmed.
- You'll likely have your pick of wedding vendors. Vendors usually book up about a year in advance, so if your timeframe is longer than that, most vendors will generally be available. You may also be able to take advantage of early booking discounts.
- You'll have more time to focus on other areas of your life, such as your career or personal goals. A long engagement gives you the opportunity to get a sense of what your partner will be like as a spouse and decide what you both want for your future together.
- If you have sick or elderly relatives, a longer engagement may increase the chances of them being able to attend your wedding.
Cons
- You may experience "wedding fatigue." Wedding planning can be exciting, but it can also be tiring. With a long engagement, you may find yourself feeling "over it" before the big day arrives.
- Wedding trends are constantly changing. With a long engagement, you may find yourself second-guessing your original vision and feeling pressured to keep up with the latest trends.
- Life circumstances can change. A lot can happen in a long engagement, and major life changes may cause you to delay the wedding or alter your plans. For example, a member of your wedding party could become pregnant, there could be a death in the family, or your financial situation could change.
- Out-of-town guests may have scheduling conflicts, and last-minute travel arrangements can be expensive.
- You may end up spending more money overall. With a longer engagement, you may be tempted to add more elements to your wedding or upgrade certain aspects. There is also a possibility that the venue or vendors will increase their prices during your engagement, causing you to spend more than you initially planned.
Ultimately, the length of an engagement is a personal decision, and there is no "right" or "wrong" amount of time to be engaged. It depends on the couple's preferences, their financial situation, and their desired wedding planning timeline.
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Pros and cons of a short engagement
The length of an engagement varies from couple to couple. While the average engagement length in the US is between 12 and 18 months, some couples opt for shorter engagements, while others wait for years. Here are some pros and cons of a short engagement to consider:
Pros of a Short Engagement
- Less time to wait: A shorter engagement means you get to enjoy being a married couple sooner rather than later.
- Less time to overthink: With a shorter engagement, you have less time to be swayed by the opinions of others, and you may feel less pressure to make everything perfect.
- Less stress: A shorter engagement can mean less stress as you have less time to overthink and stress about the planning process.
- Less expensive: Couples with shorter engagements tend to opt for a simpler ceremony and may, therefore, spend less money.
Cons of a Short Engagement
- Less time to plan: A shorter engagement may mean that your favourite vendors are already booked, and you may have a harder time finding vendors in general.
- More expensive vendors: You may have to pay a premium to work with a vendor who is busy but willing to squeeze you in.
- Less time to save: A longer engagement gives you more time to save money for the wedding.
- Fewer options: A shorter engagement may mean that you have fewer options for your wedding dress, as some alterations can take a while to be completed.
- Less flexibility: Out-of-town friends and family members may not be able to attend on short notice, and work schedules may get in the way.
- More expensive travel: Flights and hotels may be more expensive when booked at the last minute.
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Planning a wedding: what to do first
First of all, congratulations! This is an exciting time, and it can be tempting to dive straight into wedding planning, but it's important to take some time to simply enjoy being engaged. Many couples wait around three weeks before starting to plan, but it's up to you whether you want a long or short engagement.
The average engagement length in the US is between 12 and 18 months, with the average couple being engaged for 13 months. However, some couples choose to get married after just a few months, while others opt for a longer engagement of two years or more. It's important to consider your own circumstances and preferences when deciding on the length of your engagement.
Once you're ready to start planning, the first step is to create a budget. Discuss with your families if they will be contributing financially and how much they are willing to give. This will affect all your other decisions, from the venue to the guest list size.
Next, you can start thinking about venues. The venue will impact the available dates, preferred vendors, and what is included, so it's a key decision. If you have a specific venue in mind, you may need to be flexible with your date to secure it. You can also start researching vendors, including photographers, caterers, florists, and entertainment. Many in-demand vendors are booked a year or more in advance, so it's important to reach out early, especially if you have your heart set on someone.
Remember, there is no one "right" way to plan a wedding, and you can tackle tasks in whatever order feels best for you. It's important to take breaks and continue dating your partner during this time, as wedding planning can be stressful. Enjoy the process and the excitement of this new chapter in your life!
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How to enjoy your engagement
The engagement period is an exciting time for couples, but it can also be stressful. There are demands, pressures, and expectations from planning a wedding, as well as from family and friends. It is important to remember to enjoy this special time and create lasting memories. Here are some tips to help you enjoy your engagement:
Take Time to Enjoy Being Engaged
Before diving into wedding planning, take some time to savour the feeling of being newly engaged. It is easy to feel pressured to start planning right away, but giving yourself and your partner time to simply enjoy this unique season of your life is essential. The average engagement length in the US is between 12 and 18 months, with 13 months being the average, so you have plenty of time to enjoy this special period before the wedding planning kicks into high gear.
Celebrate with Loved Ones
Share your happiness with the people you love. Go out for dinner, pop a bottle of champagne, or take a random weekend trip to celebrate your engagement. These moments create lasting memories and strengthen your bond with friends and family.
Take Pictures
Capture your engagement season through photographs. Take pictures of your custom engagement rings, your "just got our marriage license!" moment, and other special moments. These photos will be cherished memories that you can look back on for years to come.
Continue Dating and Having Fun Together
It is easy to get caught up in the stress of wedding planning and put your relationship on the back burner. Make sure to continue dating and having fun with your partner. Schedule date nights, go on random adventures, and create intimate moments that allow you to be present, mindful, and connected with your soon-to-be spouse.
Set a Realistic Timeline and Prioritize
Discuss with your partner whether you want a long or short engagement and set a realistic timeline that works for both of you. Consider your work schedules, budgets, and the availability of your dream venue. Prioritize what is important to you both and create a budget and guest list early on to guide your planning process.
Focus on What Matters
Remember that the marriage is more important than the wedding. Don't get too caught up in the small stuff or perfection. Focus on your relationship, communicate well, and embrace the typical engagement activities if that's your thing. Enjoy the process and create memories that will last a lifetime.
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Frequently asked questions
The length of an engagement is entirely up to the couple. The national average engagement length in the US is 15 months, but some engagements are shorter (a month or less) while others last for years.
A longer engagement gives you more time to save up, plan and organise logistics. It also means you can look for deals, wait for sales, and gives you a better chance of securing your preferred vendors.
A shorter engagement keeps things exciting and means less time to get pulled in different directions by family and friends. It also means you, your partner and your loved ones will be extra excited about the wedding.
Brides.com suggests waiting three weeks or a month after the engagement before jumping into planning. However, it's important to discuss your budget and expectations with your partner as soon as possible.
Most weddings take place a year or 18 months after the engagement. However, this depends on factors such as budget, work schedules, venue availability and unforeseeable events.
