Junior Rasmussen
Choosing your wedding party can be a daunting task. It is important to select people who will be there for you and your partner every step of the way, from planning to celebrating on the big day. While there is no rush to pick your wedding party, it is recommended to give your wedding party 8-12 months' notice. This gives them time to prepare and ensures that your expectations are clear from the beginning. The size of your wedding party should be somewhat proportional to your total number of guests. For a small wedding, a smaller wedding party is suggested, while a larger wedding can accommodate a bigger wedding party. Ultimately, the people you choose should be those you are closest with and can depend on for support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Number of people in the wedding party | Proportional to the number of guests. For a small wedding (under 150 people), keep the wedding party small (5 or fewer attendants per side). For a larger wedding, the wedding party can be bigger. |
| Who to include | The wedding party is usually reserved for the couple's closest family members and friends. This includes siblings and close friends and family members from both sides. |
| When to ask | There is no rush to pick the wedding party, especially if the couple has recently gotten engaged. A recommended timeline is 8-12 months before the wedding. |
| Responsibilities | The wedding party should be responsible for providing emotional support and good vibes before and during the wedding. They may also be expected to help with wedding planning tasks, shopping for attire, and attending pre-wedding festivities. |
| Cost | Be honest about the expected costs for the wedding party, such as attire, shoes, hair, and makeup. |
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What You'll Learn
- Timing: Ask 8-12 months before the wedding, but consider costs and expectations
- Size: Proportional to the wedding size, but don't worry about being even
- Roles: Decide if you want them to help with planning or just celebrate
- Family: Include close family members, but don't feel obliged to
- Friends: Pick dependable friends, not just those you have history with
Timing: Ask 8-12 months before the wedding, but consider costs and expectations
When it comes to timing, the general recommendation is to ask your wedding party to be part of your special day around 8-12 months before the wedding. This gives you and your wedding party ample time to prepare, and you can avoid any last-minute stress or rushed decisions. It is a good idea to consider the costs and expectations associated with being part of the wedding party and communicate these clearly and early on.
While 8-12 months is a popular timeline, it is not set in stone. Some people may ask their wedding party years in advance, especially if they are very close to the person and are confident in the longevity of the relationship. Others may prefer to wait a little longer to ensure they have a clear idea of what they want and what to expect from their wedding party. It is important to remember that asking too early can sometimes lead to regret and strained friendships, especially if your relationship changes over time.
When asking your wedding party, it is essential to be honest and upfront about any costs involved. Discuss the type of dresses, shoes, hair, and makeup you have in mind, giving your wedding party a heads-up so they can plan and save accordingly. It is also crucial to manage expectations on both sides. Communicate what you envision for their role and responsibilities, whether you expect them to actively help with wedding planning tasks, attend pre-wedding events, or simply be there on the day to celebrate with you.
Remember, your wedding party is typically composed of your closest family members and friends, those you can depend on and see yourself being close with for years to come. While it is important to consider the size of your wedding party in relation to your total guest count, ultimately, the number of attendants you choose is up to you. Don't feel pressured to include everyone; instead, focus on those who will support and bring joy to your wedding journey.
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Size: Proportional to the wedding size, but don't worry about being even
The size of your wedding party should be somewhat proportional to your total number of guests. If you're having a small wedding, it's best to keep your wedding party small as well. For example, if you're inviting 50 people, you may want to stick to four or fewer bridesmaids or groomsmen. Conversely, if you're having a large wedding, you can have a bigger wedding party.
However, don't feel pressured to have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen. While it may make photos look nice, it's more important to have a wedding party that reflects your closest friends and family members. You shouldn't feel obliged to add someone you have lukewarm feelings for just to keep things even, as you may regret it in the long run.
When deciding on the size of your wedding party, it's crucial to consider the role you want them to play. If you expect them to help with wedding planning tasks, shopping for attire, and attending pre-wedding events, choosing friends with busy schedules or those who live out of town may not be feasible. In this case, you may want to keep your wedding party small and intimate. On the other hand, if you simply want them to show up on the day of the wedding, you can take a more relaxed approach and include a broader group of friends and family.
It's also worth noting that there is no rush to pick your wedding party, especially if you've recently gotten engaged or are in the early stages of planning. Take your time to consider your options and ensure that you can see yourself being close with everyone in your party for years to come. While there's no set timeline, some sources suggest asking your wedding party to participate 8-12 months before the wedding. This gives you and your wedding party time to discuss expectations and costs and avoid potential friendship issues.
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Roles: Decide if you want them to help with planning or just celebrate
When choosing your wedding party, it's important to consider the role you want them to play. Do you want them to be actively involved in the planning process, or would you prefer them to just celebrate with you on the day?
If you're looking for help with planning, it's crucial to choose individuals who are responsible, organised, and able to commit to the various tasks and responsibilities that come with wedding planning. This might include shopping for attire, attending pre-wedding events, and providing emotional support during the inevitable stress that comes with planning a wedding. It's also important to consider the dynamics between the people you choose and ensure that they will get along and work together harmoniously.
On the other hand, if you prefer to plan the wedding yourself or with a professional wedding planner, you can take a more relaxed approach to choosing your wedding party. In this case, you might focus on selecting individuals who will bring joy and celebration to your special day. This could include friends or family members who you may not have had a chance to bond with yet but envision being a part of your life for years to come.
It's worth noting that your wedding party doesn't have to be limited to the traditional roles of bridesmaids and groomsmen. You can get creative and assign other roles such as ushers, officiants, musicians, or readers during the ceremony. This is a great way to include more people in your celebration and create a diverse and inclusive wedding party that reflects your unique relationships.
Finally, when deciding on the size of your wedding party, consider the overall size of your wedding. A good rule of thumb is to have a smaller wedding party for a more intimate wedding and a larger one for a bigger celebration. Ultimately, the most important factor is choosing individuals who will support and celebrate with you, regardless of their specific role.
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Family: Include close family members, but don't feel obliged to
While traditional etiquette suggests that you should include close family members in your wedding party, it's not obligatory. If you don't feel close enough to family members to have them as part of your wedding party, you shouldn't feel pressured to include them. It's your wedding day, and you can invite whoever you want.
That said, it's important to consider the potential consequences of not having certain family members in your wedding party. If you feel it will jeopardise your relationship with a family member, it might be worth including them. Family members may be more understanding of not being included if you're having a very small wedding or a wedding party of only college or high school friends.
If you have a large family and a smaller budget, you may have to make some tough cuts. Don't invite family members out of a sense of obligation or pressure. If you're having a smaller, intimate wedding and there are several family members you weren't able to invite, there are still ways to include them. You could have a second reception just for them, in the form of a backyard cookout, a cocktail party, or a big family dinner. Alternatively, you can include them virtually by setting up a webcam or streaming the wedding online.
Your wedding party should be made up of individuals you foresee being in your life for the next decade and beyond. They should be people you're confident you can depend on and who will make your wedding and the days leading up to it more special by bringing good vibes and providing emotional support when needed.
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Friends: Pick dependable friends, not just those you have history with
When it comes to choosing your wedding party, it's important to remember that your wedding party is a group of people who will be there for you every step of the way during your wedding planning and beyond. While it can be a daunting task, especially with a long list of potential names, it's crucial to focus on the people who will provide support and bring good vibes to your wedding and the days leading up to it.
- Dependability and Trustworthiness: Choose friends who are dependable and will be there for you not just on your big day but also in the future. Look for friends who are responsible and can pull their weight in the group, ensuring that planning and organizing tasks are divided evenly.
- Current Relationships: Consider your current relationships and closeness with friends. Just because you were a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding years ago doesn't mean you have to reciprocate if your relationship has changed. Be honest with yourself and select friends who are truly close to you at this point in your life.
- Avoid History Alone: Don't base your decision solely on history or longevity. While it's nice to include friends you've known for a long time, it's more important to pick friends you can depend on today and in the years to come.
- Responsibilities and Expectations: Be clear about the responsibilities and expectations of your wedding party. If you want them to help with planning tasks, shopping, and pre-wedding events, then consider their availability and schedules. Communicate these expectations upfront to ensure everyone is on the same page.
- Number of Bridesmaids/Groomsmen: The number of attendants in your wedding party should be somewhat proportional to the total number of guests. For a small wedding, a smaller wedding party is recommended, while for a larger wedding, you can have a bigger wedding party.
- Mix it Up: Don't feel bound by tradition. Mix up the bride's and groom's sides by including friends from both sides or breaking the gender norms. The important thing is to have a wedding party that reflects your closest friends.
- Timing: There is no rush to pick your wedding party, especially if you're recently engaged or in the early planning stages. Take your time to make a well-thought-out decision. A recommended timeline is 8-12 months before your wedding, but it ultimately depends on your relationships and comfort level.
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Frequently asked questions
It is recommended to choose your wedding party 8-12 months before your wedding. This gives you enough time to communicate your expectations and gives your wedding party time to save up.
The size of your wedding party should be somewhat proportional to your total number of guests. If you’re having a small wedding (under 150 people), you should keep your wedding party small, as well – meaning five or fewer attendants per side. If you’re having a large wedding, feel free to have a bigger wedding party.
Your wedding party should be made up of individuals you foresee being in your life for the next decade and beyond. Your wedding party should be responsible and dependable, and should bring good vibes and provide emotional support.
Traditional etiquette suggests that you should include close family members in your wedding party. However, it is ultimately up to you. If you want to include a family member in your wedding but not as a bridesmaid or groomsman, you can give them another role, such as an usher, officiant, or musician.
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