Rhiannon Hendricks
Hasidic Jewish weddings are a significant event for the community, with the rabbi and other members of the sect coming together to celebrate. The weddings are held every day except on the Sabbath and are a place for men and women to socialise, separated by a mechitzah (movable wall). The wedding ceremony itself has two distinct stages: the first,
Characteristics and Values of Hasidic Jewish Weddings
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Intimacy | Only close family and very dear friends are invited |
| Guest Attire | Men: suit and tie with a kippah; women: long sleeves, long dress, covered collarbone, and a coat if it's winter |
| Gifts | Gifts, cash, or something from the couple's registry |
| Separation of Sexes | Men and women are separated during the wedding; they are separated by a "mechitzah" (movable wall) |
| Customs | The bride is covered by an opaque veil by the groom before the ceremony, which is removed after she is married |
| Customs | The bride and groom do not see each other for a week before the wedding |
| Customs | The bride is escorted to the chuppah by her parents, who carry candles |
| Customs | The groom covers the bride's face with a veil before the ceremony, and a prayer is said |
| Customs | The bride circles the groom three times, then the groom circles his bride three times, and then each circles each other |
| Customs | The couple stands under a canopy, or chuppah, representing their new home |
| Customs | The couple does not wear any jewelry under the chuppah, representing that they are getting married for each other and not for material belongings |
| Customs | The ketubah (marriage contract) is signed before the wedding ceremony, and then read aloud during the ceremony |
| Customs | The wedding ceremony takes place under the open sky, recalling the blessing God gave to Abraham that his children shall be "as the stars of the heavens" |
| Customs | The mitzvah tantz, where family members or respected individuals dance "with" the bride by grasping a cord that the bride is holding at the other end |
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What You'll Learn
Separation of the sexes
The separation begins even before the wedding guests enter the hall, with men and women often entering through separate doorways. The men then proceed to the groom's tisch, while the women gather around the bride, offering praise and sharing memories. During the ceremony, the men and women sit on opposite sides of the room, with the women typically seated on the left and the men on the right.
The partition remains in place during the dancing, with men and women dancing energetically and happily on their respective sides. This separation is intended to prevent men from gazing upon the women dancing and to maintain a sense of modesty. However, during a custom known as a mitzvah tantz, the partition may be removed, allowing both men and women to watch as the bride dances with various family members or respected individuals. The groom is typically the only one who dances directly with the bride.
The separation of the sexes extends beyond the wedding ceremony and reception. In the Hasidic community, men and women are often separated during daily activities, and this separation is considered a basis of their way of life. This practice is also observed in Orthodox Synagogues and other religious occasions, where it is meant to preserve a special connection between the genders.
While some people may be uncomfortable with the extreme inequality that this separation implies, it is an integral part of Hasidic culture and is accepted by those within the community. It is worth noting that the degree of separation can vary, and some more progressive or liberal communities may modify customs to promote egalitarianism.
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The ketubah (marriage contract)
The ketubah is a Jewish marriage contract and is considered an integral part of a traditional Jewish wedding. It outlines the groom's obligations to the bride, including providing her with food, clothing, and marital relations. It also specifies a fixed sum of money, usually accruing from his property, that the wife will receive in the event of a divorce or if she is widowed.
The ketubah is signed before the wedding ceremony in the presence of two witnesses, who must be upstanding Jewish male adults that follow the Torah. The witnesses then sign the contract, and it is customary to place the signed ketubah beneath the chuppah (wedding canopy) during the ceremony. The ketubah is then traditionally read aloud, either in its original Aramaic or in translation.
The ketubah is often written as an illuminated manuscript and displayed in the couple's home, serving as a reminder of their wedding day and their commitment to each other. In modern times, some couples choose to write their own ketubah or purchase one with words that better reflect their relationship and values.
The content of the ketubah is essentially a two-way contract that formalizes the requirements of a Jewish husband in relation to his wife under Halakha (Jewish law). It also dictates the wife's rights in the marriage and provides for her security and protection. In the event of a breach of the conditions written in the ketubah, the contract may be considered forfeited.
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The chuppah (wedding canopy)
The chuppah, or wedding canopy, is a crucial element of a Jewish wedding. The word "chuppah" is derived from the Hebrew word "covering", and it symbolises the new Jewish home being created by the union of the couple. The chuppah consists of a square cloth, typically made of silk or velvet, draped over four staves or poles. The canopy is held up by four men, often friends or family members of the couple, and it is considered an honour to be chosen for this role.
The chuppah ceremony is said to represent hospitality to guests, with the open structure resembling a tent with four entrances, much like the tent of Abraham, who kept his tent open on all four sides to welcome travellers. The chuppah also symbolises the presence of God over the marriage covenant, offering protection and support to the newlyweds.
The chuppah ceremony is performed after the betrothal, when the bride and groom exchange rings, marking the first stage of the wedding process, known as kiddushin or erusin. The chuppah ceremony itself is considered the second stage, nissuin, or the actual marriage ceremony. During the chuppah, the ketubah, or marriage contract, is traditionally read aloud in its original Aramaic or in translation. The ketubah outlines the groom's obligations to the bride, including providing food, clothing, and marital relations.
The chuppah is preferably held outdoors under the open sky, symbolising the couple's hopes for a large family, in line with God's blessing to Abraham. However, if the wedding is held indoors, a special opening may be built to create an open-sky setting. The entire ceremony may also be conducted outdoors, as preferred by many Hasidim.
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The badeken (veiling ceremony)
The badeken, or veiling ceremony, is a significant part of a Hasidic Jewish wedding. It is a ceremony where the groom veils the bride, and the term comes from the Yiddish word "to cover". The badeken is often an emotional moment for the couple and their families. The groom, accompanied by his parents, the rabbi, and other dignitaries, covers the bride's face with a veil amidst joyous singing from his friends. The veil is a symbol of modesty and signifies that the groom is interested in the bride's inner beauty, which will never fade.
The badeken can be held anywhere—in a separate room, in the aisle, or in a lobby area outside of where the main ceremony is taking place. In Sephardi communities, for example, the groom leaves the chuppah (the canopy under which the couple stands during the wedding ceremony) and walks down the aisle to meet the bride. He then places the veil over her and accompanies her back towards the chuppah, as if welcoming her into his home.
The badeken is usually a private moment shared only with very close family and friends, as it is the first time the bride and groom see each other if they have been spending time apart leading up to the wedding. The badeken is also a time for parents to impart blessings upon their children, as it is the final moment they will spend with them before they begin a new stage of life together. The rabbi may also pronounce a blessing upon the couple during the badeken.
After the badeken, the bride's face remains veiled until the conclusion of the chuppah ceremony. There is a technical reason for this tradition: the bride should not see the ring with which she is being married so that the "transaction" is not based on an erroneous assumption of its value. The groom's entourage then retreats from the room, and the bride and groom proceed with their chuppah preparations.
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The mitzvah tantz (a post-wedding dance)
The mitzvah tantz is a post-wedding dance that is a part of the ancient custom of Hasidic Judaism. It is considered a great honour to be able to dance in front of the bride to honour her on her wedding night. The dance is usually performed by the male relatives of the groom, who dance before the bride, holding one end of a sash or a gartel, while the bride holds the other end. The groom and the bride's father are the only ones who dance with the bride herself. The bride usually stands perfectly still at one end of the room and prays silently for her future success in life with her husband. The dance is a highly charged emotional moment and is considered a serious spiritual event.
The mitzvah tantz is a rare direct interaction between men and women who are not close relatives. It is also a rare occurrence to witness, although several videos of the dance have surfaced on YouTube. The dance also offers the bride a much-needed break from the festivities, where she can sit back and be entertained.
The custom, which predates Hasidism, was first mentioned in the medieval Machzor Vitri and is based on the Talmud (Ketubot). The Talmud states the expression "ketsad merakdim lifnei hakallah" which translates to "how does one dance before the bride". The mitzvah tantz is often emceed by a badchan, a jester, who uses humour and rhymes to introduce the various dancers. While the guests dance, the other men often join in by dancing around the periphery.
The mitzvah tantz is a highly debated topic, largely due to the values of earlier communities that practised the dance. Most rabbis during the 16th and 17th centuries were not in favour of dancing without some type of covering or separation between men and women. However, Hasidic Jewish populations attempted to retain modesty while still participating in the dance.
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