The Best Man's Role: When To Ask For Support

Choosing a best man is a big ask and it's important to consider the person's availability and what you're expecting from them. Things can change a lot over time, especially when you're younger or haven't been friends with the person for that long. It's recommended to wait until you have a venue (and thus a date). Several members of the wedding party have questions about expectations before they said yes, including location and date.

Consider the best man's availability

When choosing your best man, it's important to consider the amount of time and energy they can dedicate to your wedding planning. Before you ask someone to be your best man, you should consider who you're asking, what you're expecting from them, and whether they're the right person for the job.

For example, if you expect your best man to spend their weekends helping you choose a wedding venue, negotiate with wedding vendors, or run other wedding-related errands, you might not want to ask your best friend who just had a new baby and doesn't have the kind of time or energy to devote to your wedding planning as you'd want for your big day.

If you're asking someone to be your best man, it's important to consider their availability and what you're expecting from the "best man" title—that way, there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the road.

It's also important to consider the wedding date when you're choosing your best man. For a spring 2024 wedding, wait until summer to ask because friendships will change between now and then.

Several members of our wedding party have questions about expectations before they said yes, including location and date. It helps them plan things out. Also, things can change a lot over time, especially when you're younger or haven't been friends with the person for that long. We see so many posts on here about people regretting who they asked. There really is nothing they need to do before 6-9 months before the wedding.

Pick the wedding date

When picking a wedding date, it is important to consider the availability and expectations of your wedding party. Choosing a date too early can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings as your friendships may change over time.

The best man is expected to participate in the entire wedding process, from attending pre-wedding events to planning the bachelor party and providing support to the couple. Therefore, it is important to consider the time commitment and availability of the person you are asking.

Reddit users suggest waiting until you have a venue and a date set before asking your best man. This is because having a venue and date helps the wedding party plan and understand the expectations of their roles. It is also recommended to finalise the guest list and venue before sending save the dates at 12 months before the wedding.

Additionally, considering the time commitment required for wedding planning is crucial. For example, if you expect your best man to spend weekends helping with venue choices, vendor negotiations, and other wedding-related tasks, you might want to choose someone with more available time.

In summary, when picking a wedding date, it is important to consider the availability and expectations of your wedding party, finalise the guest list and venue, and choose a date that allows for proper planning and communication with your wedding party.

Finalise the guest list

Consider whom you're asking, their availability, and what you're expecting from the "best man" title—that way, there are no misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the road.

It's a big ask, and before you ask someone to be your best man, it’s important to consider whom you’re asking, what you’re expecting from them, and whether they’re the right person for the job. For example, if you expect your best man to spend their weekends helping you choose a wedding venue, negotiate with wedding vendors, or run other wedding-related errands, you might not want to ask your best friend who just had a new baby—and doesn’t have the kind of time or energy to devote to your wedding planning as you’d want for your big day.

It helps them plan things out, including location and date. Things can change a lot over time, especially when you're younger or haven't been friends with the person for that long. We see so many posts on here about people regretting who they asked.

There really is nothing they need to do before 6-9 months before the wedding.

Send save the dates

When you have a venue and a date for your wedding, you can ask your best man. It's important to consider the availability and expectations of the person you're asking. Things can change a lot over time, especially when you're younger or haven't been friends with the person for that long. For a spring wedding, wait until summer to ask because friendships will change between now and then.

The best man is expected to participate in the entire wedding process, from attending all the pre-wedding events, to planning the bachelor party, to providing support to the soon-to-be married couple leading up to their wedding day. It's a big ask, and before you ask someone to be your best man, it’s important to consider whom you’re asking, what you’re expecting from them, and whether they’re the right person for the job.

For example, if you expect your best man to spend their weekends helping you choose a wedding venue, negotiate with wedding vendors, or run other wedding-related errands, you might not want to ask your best friend who just had a new baby—and doesn’t have the kind of time or energy to devote to your wedding planning as you’d want for your big day.

You pick the wedding date when you seek out your venue and also have the guest list finalized to make sure the venue is the correct size, before you send save the dates at 12 months before the wedding. There really is nothing they need to do before 6-9 months before the wedding.

Consider the best man's expectations

When considering the best man's expectations, it's important to think about what you want from the role and who you're asking. Before you ask someone to be your best man, it's important to consider their availability and whether they're the right person for the job. For example, if you expect your best man to spend their weekends helping you choose a wedding venue, negotiate with wedding vendors, or run other wedding-related errands, you might not want to ask your best friend who just had a new baby and doesn't have the kind of time or energy to devote to your wedding planning as you'd want for your big day.

It's also important to consider the best man's expectations of the role. Being a best man is a big job and comes with a lot of responsibilities. The best man is expected to participate in the entire wedding process, from attending all the pre-wedding events to planning the bachelor party and providing support to the soon-to-be married couple leading up to their wedding day.

When you're choosing your best man, it's important to consider the location and date of the wedding. Things can change a lot over time, especially when you're younger or haven't been friends with the person for that long. Wait until summer to ask for a spring wedding because friendships will change between now and then.

It's also a good idea to set a wedding date before you pop the question to the members of the wedding party. This will help avoid any confusion or hurt feelings down the road.

Frequently asked questions