Junior Rasmussen
Arab weddings are steeped in history and tradition, and they can vary in length. While the specific customs vary across countries in the Levant, from Lebanon to Palestine, and even within the same country, certain cultural and religious rituals remain mostly the same. The marriage process usually starts with meetings between the couple's families and ends with consummation. The wedding ceremony itself, or nikah, is relatively short and simple, but the celebrations can last for days.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Duration | Days-long |
| Location | Park, ballroom, house, mosque, hotel ballroom |
| Attendees | All branches of the family, including distant relatives |
| Dress code | Modest attire, long pants, long skirts, covered arms, head coverings for women |
| Entertainment | Drummers, dabke folk dance, belly dancers, singers |
| Food | Buffet with salads, meats, stews, sweets, fruits, and other Arab cuisine dishes |
| Gifts | Cash |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding process
Pre-Wedding Ceremonies
Before the wedding, there are several important ceremonies and rituals that take place. One such ceremony is the "tolbe" or "tulba", where the groom formally asks the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. This is an important step in seeking the family's blessing and consent for the union.
Henna Night
The henna night is a significant tradition in both traditional and non-traditional Arab weddings. The women, including the bride, wear exquisite, hand-embroidered gowns known as Palestinian "ithyab". The groom wears a traditional Arab men's "thobe" and "hata" (head covering). During this ceremony, henna is applied to the bride's hands, and there is often music, dancing, and celebrations. In some areas, like Palestine, male friends and relatives of the groom also have a separate evening party called "sahra" in Arabic, where they dance and perform in front of the groom's house.
Zaffa/Zaffe
The "zaffa" or "zaffe" is the grand entrance of the newlywed couple to their reception. It starts with the bride's father walking his daughter to the groom, followed by a troupe of drummers playing traditional Arabic music. During the zaffa, the couple changes their wedding rings from their right hand to their left index finger. Female guests often perform the zaghrouta, a high-pitched ululation with their tongue, as a cheer of celebration.
Nikah
The "nikah" (or "nikkah") is the wedding ceremony, usually held in a mosque but sometimes in a ballroom or at home. It is a relatively short and simple ceremony, with the key participants being the couple, their parents, two witnesses from each side, and the Imam or spiritual leader who officiates the wedding. If the nikah is in a mosque, guests are asked to remove their shoes out of respect.
Post-Nikah Rituals
After the nikah, there are several rituals that the couple and their families follow. One such ritual is the arsi mushaf, where the couple holds up a mirror and the Quran to see their reflection for the first time as husband and wife. Their family holds a "dupatta", a long decorated fabric, over their heads during this ritual. The groom also presents the mahr or dowry to the bride, which symbolises her freedom and financial independence.
Reception and Celebrations
Arab weddings are known for their lavish celebrations, with guests dancing and singing with the newlyweds. The dabke is a popular folk dance performed by professional dancers and guests, with everyone joining in a circle. There is also belly dancing, particularly in Egyptian weddings. Food is an important part of the celebrations, with a variety of Arab cuisine dishes reflecting the wealth of the families. Cutting the cake and tossing the bouquet are also common practices influenced by Western traditions.
Walima and Rukhsati
The "walima" is the reception and final event of the days-long wedding celebration, hosted by the groom's family. The "rukhsati" is the conclusion of the entire wedding, where guests gather to bid farewell to the newlyweds as they leave for their honeymoon. This is a bittersweet moment for the bride as it signifies leaving her childhood home.
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Traditional attire
In Muslim weddings, red is the colour reserved for the bride, and guests are discouraged from wearing this shade. In America, brides often pair a white outfit with a heavy red dupatta, while in other Muslim localities, white is a major theme colour, especially for nikkah ceremonies. Green and pink are popular choices for Muslim wedding guests. Brides often wear a mono-coloured flowing maxi gown with a long, slightly bright-coloured jacket, while a Lehnga-choli (a long embedded skirt with a shirt) is a unique choice, especially in red. Silk is a common choice for Muslim weddings, often paired with lush pullovers and gold jewellery.
At henna parties, which are an important element of both traditional and non-traditional Arab weddings, Palestinian women wear the traditional, usually hand-embroidered, gown known as the Palestinian ithyab. The brides' gowns are extravagant and exquisitely embroidered. The groom wears the traditional Arab men's thobe and hata (head covering).
At Arab weddings, there are no many restrictions on men's attire. Guests should dress formally, as they would for a Catholic wedding.
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Food and drink
In some Arab countries, the wedding celebrations start with a henna night, where the bride's female friends and relatives join her in celebrating, including food, drinks, and dancing. The women will sing Arabic songs and decorate the bride's hands and feet with henna. The men also have a separate party where they dance to traditional music.
After the zaffa or zefaf, a procession that announces the couple's wedding, the bride and groom sit on a dais, or kosha, in front of their guests, and a sharbat drink is passed to the guests, and all drink to the couple's health. The bride and groom then switch their rings from their right hand to their left index finger.
The wedding reception, called a "Walima", is hosted and paid for by the groom's family. It includes a delectable spread of food and other Arab wedding traditions. The customary food is fattah, pieces of lamb meat embedded in rice, and bread dipped in stew. The couple then opens the buffet for the guests, which is usually a wide variety of salads, meats, stews, sweets, fruits, and other Arab cuisine dishes.
In some Arab countries, the wedding cake is cut with a sword passed down to the groom from his family.
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Music and dance
The dabke is a popular folk dance performed by professional dancers and wedding guests, who dance shoulder to shoulder in a circle. In Egyptian weddings, belly dancing is more typical. In rural areas of Egypt, the wedding ceremony usually takes place in a large clearing with a big Arabic tent called a sewan, and entertainment includes a belly dancer or singer, or both.
Arabic wedding songs feature high-energy tempos with a mix of traditional Middle Eastern instruments like the oud, darbukka, and qanun, combined with electric guitars and keyboards. Some popular Arabic wedding songs include "Mabrouk Alina" by Ramy Sabry, and songs by Lebanese artists Ramy Ayach and Ragheb Alama, Jordanian singer Omar Al-Abdillat, and Egyptian singers Amr Diab and Nancy Ajram.
In some areas, such as Palestine, male friends and relatives of the groom also celebrate with an evening party called sahra in Arabic, where music and dance groups perform, and women can view the program via video projection inside the house or a closed-off garden.
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Location and duration
Arab weddings are steeped in history and tradition, with lavish celebrations. While customs vary across countries, certain rituals remain largely the same. The marriage process usually starts with meetings between the couple's families and ends with consummation. For a wedding to be considered Islamic, both the bride and groom must consent, and the groom must be welcomed into the bride's house in the presence of her parents.
Location
Arab weddings can take place in a variety of locations, from a tent in a park to a ballroom in a grand hotel. The specific choice of venue depends on the couple's preferences and cultural background. In rural areas, weddings are often held in large clearings with a big Arabic tent called a sewan. The nikah (or wedding ceremony) usually takes place in a mosque but can also occur in a hotel ballroom or at home.
Duration
Arab weddings are typically days-long celebrations, with festivities extending late into the night. The duration of the wedding is influenced by the various rituals and events that take place, such as the zaffa (a procession announcing the couple's wedding), henna night, and the cutting of the cake. The Walima, a reception hosted by the groom's family, marks the final event of the wedding celebration.
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Frequently asked questions
The length of an Arab wedding depends on many factors, such as the couple's preferences, cultural influences, and religious traditions. Some weddings may last only a day, while others may extend over several days of celebrations.
Arab weddings are known for their lavish celebrations steeped in history and tradition. They often include a zaffa or zaffe, a grand procession announcing the couple's wedding, with upbeat Arabic music and dancing. The bride and groom also exchange rings, moving them from their right to their left hand.
In Arab Muslim weddings, there is a pre-wedding ceremony called "tolbe" or "tulba," where the groom formally asks the bride's parents for her hand in marriage. This is an important step before the actual wedding festivities begin.
Modest attire is recommended for guests attending Arab weddings. Longer pants, skirts, or dresses that cover the arms and legs are generally considered appropriate. It is also common for female guests to cover their heads with a scarf out of respect for religious traditions.
The wedding reception is a time for celebration and festivities. There is usually a lot of dancing, including traditional folk dances like dabke, performed by professional dancers and guests. The cutting of the cake is also a common feature, followed by the bride tossing her bouquet to the unmarried women present.
