Wedding Gift Etiquette: Timing And Sending The Perfect Gift

Wedding gift-giving can be a tricky business. While it's commonly said that you have up to a year after attending a wedding to send a gift, many experts now agree that it's best to send your gift as soon as possible, and ideally before the wedding. Lizzie Post, an etiquette expert, explains that you used to have a year because everything took longer. But in today's fast-paced digital world, it's now considered polite to send your gift as close to the wedding as possible. Cheryl Seidel, another etiquette expert, agrees, noting that if you got married and didn't receive a gift after a few months, wouldn't you assume it wasn't coming?. So, if you're wondering how long after a wedding you can send a gift, the answer is: the sooner, the better.

Sending a gift before the wedding

Start thinking about gift ideas soon after receiving the wedding invitation. This will give you enough time to decide on a thoughtful and meaningful gift. If you are really on top of things, you might want to send a gift as soon as you receive the save-the-date. This will also give you a head start on other wedding-related tasks such as sending back the RSVP card and browsing potential outfits.

If the couple has a wedding registry, this is a great place to start your search for a gift. The registry will include items the couple has chosen themselves, so you know your gift will be appreciated. Most online registries allow you to send your gift directly to the couple, which is convenient and saves you the hassle of having to bring the gift to the wedding.

If you are giving cash or a cheque as a gift, it is best to send it to the couple ahead of time rather than bringing it to the wedding. This reduces the risk of your gift getting lost or stolen during the event. You can send a card with your well wishes and a cheque enclosed, or use a payment app to transfer the money directly to the couple.

If you are sending a physical gift, it is best to have it delivered to the couple's home rather than bringing it to the wedding. This is especially important if it is a destination wedding. The couple will already have a lot to think about and won't want to worry about transporting gifts back from the wedding venue.

While it is considered polite to send a gift before the wedding, it is not mandatory. If you are unable to send a gift ahead of time, you can always bring a card with your well wishes to the wedding and send the gift shortly after.

Sending a gift after the wedding

While it's considered best practice to send a wedding gift before the wedding, it's generally acceptable to send a gift up to three months after the wedding. This timeframe allows the couple to send out their thank-you notes within six months of the wedding. Sending your gift as early as possible is considerate, as it's easier for both you and the couple.

However, if you've missed the three-month mark, don't worry – it's better late than never! You can always send an online card with a thoughtful gift card when you remember.

If you're unable to attend the wedding, it's still polite to send a gift, especially if you're close to the couple. In this case, it's best to send your gift before the wedding or within three months of the wedding day.

When it comes to how much you should spend, it's entirely up to you and your budget. Consider your relationship with the couple and your financial situation. If you're close friends or family, you might want to spend more, whereas, for coworkers or distant acquaintances, a smaller gift is perfectly acceptable.

Sending a gift if you can't attend

If you can't attend a wedding, it is generally considered polite to send a gift to the couple. However, traditional wedding etiquette states that if you can't attend the celebration, you are not obligated to send a gift. Whether you choose to send a gift or not will depend on your relationship with the couple and your budget.

If you are unable to attend the wedding of a close friend or family member, you may want to send a gift to show your support. In this case, it is recommended to send a gift from the couple's registry or a personalised present that reflects their interests. If you are unable to attend due to a last-minute emergency, sending cash is a quick and convenient option.

On the other hand, if the wedding is for a casual acquaintance or coworker, simply sending a congratulatory card is often sufficient. If you do choose to send a gift in this case, a small, affordable item from the registry or a contribution to their honeymoon fund is appropriate.

The timing of sending a gift if you can't attend is also important. It is best to send the gift before the wedding, so the couple knows you are thinking of them. However, it is acceptable to send a gift up to one year after the wedding, although most experts recommend sending it within three months.

When deciding how much to spend on a wedding gift, consider your relationship with the couple and your budget. You may also take into account the cost of attending the wedding, as you won't need to spend money on travel or accommodation.

In summary, while it is not required to send a gift if you can't attend a wedding, it is a thoughtful gesture, especially for close friends and family. The type and amount of the gift can vary depending on your relationship and circumstances.

Sending a physical gift

If you're sending a physical gift, it's best to send it as soon as possible. While traditional etiquette suggests that you have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, it's now considered more polite to send your gift as close to the wedding as possible. Ideally, you should aim to have your gift delivered by the three-month mark, but definitely no later than a month after the wedding. This allows the couple to send out their thank-you notes within six months of the wedding.

If you're buying a gift from the couple's wedding registry, it's recommended to purchase it about four to six weeks before the wedding. This means you can tick off a few wedding-related tasks at once, such as sending back the RSVP card and planning your outfit. Buying a gift early also means you'll have more options to choose from on the registry. However, it's more common for guests to send a gift the week before the wedding.

If you're giving a physical gift, it's best not to bring it to the wedding, especially if it's a destination wedding. Instead, have your gift shipped directly to the couple's home. This makes things easier for the couple, who won't have to worry about transporting gifts, and for yourself, as you won't have to carry your gift to the wedding.

If you're ordering something with a short shelf life, such as baked goods, it's best to order the gift closer to the wedding day.

Sending a monetary gift

While there is no right or wrong answer regarding how much you should spend on a wedding gift, the timing of when you send your gift does matter. Although it is commonly said that you have up to a year after attending a wedding to send a gift, it is now considered more polite to send your gift as close to the wedding as possible. Ideally, you should send a gift within three months of the wedding, and it is best to have it delivered by the three-month mark. This allows the couple to send out their wedding thank-you notes within six months of the wedding.

If you are giving a monetary gift, it is perfectly acceptable to bring an envelope with you to the wedding and give it directly to the couple or place it in a card box if there is one. However, there is a slight risk that your gift could get lost or stolen during the event. A safer option is to send a gift card to one of the retailers from the couple's registry, contribute to their honeymoon fund or cash registry, or use a payment app. If you choose one of these options, it is best to do so a few weeks to a month before the wedding.

If you are sending a physical gift, it is best to have it shipped directly to the couple's home. This will make things much easier for the newlyweds, as they won't have to worry about transporting gifts on their big day or during their honeymoon. If you are giving a monetary gift, you can also send a card with a cheque or cash to arrive shortly after the couple returns from their honeymoon.

While it is best to send your gift promptly, it is always better late than never. If you don't get something sent out in time, don't worry—the couple will still appreciate your gift, even if it arrives after their wedding or honeymoon.

Frequently asked questions