Bridesmaids: When To Tell Your Girls

There are several factors to consider when deciding how far in advance to tell your bridesmaids about your wedding. Firstly, it is recommended to wait until you have a solid plan and know the specific details of your wedding, such as the colours, themes, venue, and date. This will help your bridesmaids understand what they are signing up for and allow them to plan accordingly. While you can ask your bridesmaids whenever you like, it is generally suggested to do so between eight to twelve months before the wedding. This gives them enough time to plan and commit to the role, especially if they need to organise time off from work or budget for any expenses. However, it is important to consider the nature of your relationships and how likely they are to change over time. Asking too early may lead to regret and friendship issues if the relationship deteriorates before the wedding. Therefore, it is crucial to carefully think about your choices and give yourself some time before making a decision.

Wait until you know your wedding date

It is important to wait until you know your wedding date before asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. Knowing the date will allow your bridesmaids to have a better idea of whether they can commit to the role. It could be a bad time for them personally, with other wedding commitments, or a major life change like a baby or a move.

If you have a long engagement period, it is recommended to wait until 8–12 months before the wedding. This is because how close you are to certain people can change. You wouldn't want someone you hardly know at your bridal table instead of a new best friend. If you have a shorter engagement period, make sure you give the bridal party enough notice to begin planning for the big day—about 5–8 months.

Additionally, it is important to have a solid plan before asking your bridesmaids. It is always best to have a contingency plan in case someone declines or if you decide to add more people later on. This will save you from any awkwardness or uncertainty down the line. Discuss these decisions with your partner first and decide if you both want the wedding party to match in size.

Furthermore, it is a good idea to know the specific details of your wedding, such as colours, themes, and venue, before asking your bridesmaids. The more they know about your wedding, the easier it will be for them to plan any pre-wedding events and feel confident about what they are signing up for. If you have any specific requests or preferences for their involvement, make sure to communicate that as well.

Take a few weeks to think about it

If you're deciding between 10 and 15 people, start to think about the friends who will be in your life for the long haul and will be able to help you with your wedding details over the next few months. Think about your closest friends and those who you know will still be a friend of yours for life.

You can also use this time to figure out the kind of bridal shower and bachelorette party you want. These details might determine how big your bridal party should be, and it will allow you to ask your bridesmaids with enough information so they will feel good about taking on this role and get excited about your wedding.

Know as many wedding details as possible

Knowing as many wedding details as possible before asking your bridesmaids to be part of your wedding is important. This is because the more they know about your wedding, the easier it will be for them to plan the bachelorette party and any other pre-wedding events. It will also help them feel confident about what they are signing up for. For example, if you have any specific requests or preferences for their involvement, make sure to communicate that. Knowing the details will also help them to judge how they should go about planning the bridal shower and any other events.

Additionally, knowing the details will allow you to ask your bridesmaids with enough information so that they will feel good about taking on this role and get excited about your wedding. For instance, you might want to let them know right away how much you are thinking dresses will cost and the type of shoes, hair, and makeup you are going for. This will give them a heads-up and time to save. You should also be open and honest about what things will cost and understand that your vision for your wedding shouldn't override your friendship and respect for that person.

It is also important to know the details so that you can give your bridesmaids enough time to plan and budget. For example, if you know that some of your bridesmaids are on a tight budget or will need to take time off work, you might want to give them more than a year's notice.

Finally, knowing the details of your wedding will help you to avoid asking someone to be a bridesmaid before you have an official wedding date. If you do this, you are essentially holding their personal calendar hostage until you make your plans, which is not fair to them.

Be engaged for at least 60 days

There are a few things to consider when deciding how far in advance to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids. While it's an exciting part of the wedding planning process, it's important to take your time with this decision. Here are four to six paragraphs for the prompt "Be engaged for at least 60 days":

It is recommended that you wait at least 60 days after getting engaged before asking your friends to be your bridesmaids. This grace period allows you to thoughtfully consider your options and plan how you want to propose to your bridal party. During these two months, you can start thinking about the number of bridesmaids you want and the type of gifts you'd like to give them when you ask. It's also a good time to reflect on your relationships and ensure that your closest friends are the right fit for your bridal party.

Take the time to decide on the size of your bridal party, keeping in mind the size of your wedding. If you're having a small wedding, it's best not to have a large group of bridesmaids. Remember, you're not obligated to have an equal number of attendants as your partner, but try to keep the numbers relatively similar. Your bridal party should be based on your relationships with each individual, and it doesn't have to be divided by gender. You can include men, such as a "bridesman," if you wish!

It's also important to wait until you know your wedding date before asking your bridesmaids. This allows them to have a better idea of whether they can commit to the role, as they may have other commitments or life changes that could impact their availability. Knowing your wedding date also gives you a chance to communicate your expectations and provide an estimate of the costs involved for your bridesmaids. This includes details such as dress codes, shoes, hair, and makeup, so they can start planning and saving if needed.

While it's exciting to share the news of your engagement, take a few weeks to consider who you want in your bridal party carefully. Think about the people who will be your friends for life and those who can support you throughout the wedding planning process. It's also beneficial to know as many wedding details as possible before asking, such as the type of bridal shower and bachelorette party you envision. This will help you determine the size of your bridal party and ensure that your bridesmaids feel excited and well-informed about their roles.

If you're eager to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids, keep in mind that it's generally recommended to wait at least a year before your wedding. This timeframe ensures that your relationships remain strong and gives your bridesmaids enough time to plan and prepare without feeling rushed. However, if you're including siblings or close relatives, you may choose to ask them earlier, as these relationships are less likely to change. Overall, waiting at least 60 days after getting engaged gives you the necessary time to make thoughtful decisions about your bridal party.

Have a follow-up conversation

After the initial excitement of hearing that they will be a bridesmaid, it's natural for a person to have some stress or apprehension about assuming the role. Early on, within the first few weeks of asking, you should meet with each bridesmaid to start discussing your overall wedding vision. Make sure each bridesmaid understands their role and responsibilities in your wedding, and be sure to ask them if they have any questions or concerns. Getting everyone on the same page will help as you move towards your big day.

It's important to remember that being a bridesmaid can be a big commitment, and your bridesmaids may have questions or concerns about what you're asking of them. They might also have ideas or suggestions that could enhance your wedding vision, so be open to hearing their thoughts and feedback.

During this follow-up conversation, you can also start to discuss specific details about the wedding, such as the budget for dresses, shoes, hair, and makeup. This will give your bridesmaids a better idea of what to expect and how to plan. It's also a good opportunity to discuss any other pre-wedding events you're hoping to have, such as a bachelorette party or bridal shower, and get their input on those plans.

If you have a clear vision for your wedding, it's helpful to communicate that to your bridesmaids so they can better understand your expectations. However, be open to hearing their ideas and suggestions as well, as they may have valuable insights or contributions that could enhance your special day.

Remember, the follow-up conversation is also a chance for you to show your appreciation for your bridesmaids and let them know how much you value their participation in your wedding. It's a team effort, and their support and presence will make your big day even more memorable.

Frequently asked questions