Junior Rasmussen
Planning a wedding can be a daunting task, especially if you've never been to one. There are a lot of variables to consider, from the venue to the guest list, and the ceremony to the reception. Typically, a wedding consists of a ceremony where the couple gets legally married, followed by a reception, which is a celebration of the union. The ceremony is often held at a different venue than the reception, and there may be a gap between the two events. The ceremony is usually led by an officiant, who can be a professional or someone close to the couple, and includes traditions such as exchanging vows and rings. The reception, on the other hand, is a time for mingling, dining, dancing, and capturing memorable moments.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ceremony | The couple gets legally married. However, some people do the legal paperwork in advance, and the ceremony is symbolic, or it is religiously binding but not legally binding. |
| Reception | A big party, usually held at a different venue from the ceremony. |
| Timing | The ceremony and reception can be held one after the other or with a gap in between. |
| Officiant | A friend or family member can officiate the wedding, or it can be a professional such as an ordained minister, magistrate, mayor, or judge. |
| Vows | Couples can write their own vows or use traditional ones. |
| Rings | Rings are exchanged as a symbol of commitment. |
| Unity ceremony | A unity candle, sand ceremony, or any other symbolic ritual is performed. |
| Pronouncement | The officiant declares the couple married, and they share their first kiss. |
| Recessional | The newlyweds lead the way, followed by the wedding party and then the guests. |
| Music | Couples can choose meaningful songs to be played during the ceremony and reception. |
| Food | Food is served at the reception, with a cocktail hour beforehand for guests to mingle. |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding ceremony structure
A wedding ceremony is a highly personal event, and there are many ways to structure it. The structure often depends on the couple's cultural and religious backgrounds, as well as their personal preferences.
Before the Ceremony
The couple signs a marriage contract, which could be done the day before or shortly before the ceremony. In Jewish weddings, this is called the ketubah, and it is followed by the bedeken, or the veiling, where the groom veils his bride's face.
Processional
The wedding party, including attendants like bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, and page boys, enters the ceremony space. The wedding party can be mixed-gender, and their entry is often accompanied by a favourite song chosen by the couple. The officiant then welcomes everyone and introduces themselves.
Entrance of the Couple
The groom, accompanied by their parents or alone, enters the ceremony space, followed by the best man and maid of honour. In some cultures, like Jewish weddings, both partners walk down the aisle with their parents. Finally, the bride enters, usually escorted by her parents.
Vows and Ring Exchange
The couple exchanges their wedding vows and may choose to write their own. There is one legal sentence that each party must say, which can be combined with the ring exchange: "With this ring, I call upon the people here present to witness that I, (full legal name), take you, (full legal name) to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/spouse/partner in marriage."
Unity Ceremony
The couple may choose to include a unity candle, sand ceremony, or any other symbolic ritual to signify their union.
Pronouncement
The officiant declares the couple married, and they share their first kiss as a married couple.
Recessional
The newlyweds lead the way out, followed by the wedding party and then the guests.
It is important to note that this is just one possible structure, and there may be variations depending on cultural and religious traditions, as well as personal preferences. The couple should discuss their vision for the ceremony and work with their officiant and wedding planner to create a timeline that reflects their unique connection.
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Choosing an officiant
Types of Officiants
The type of officiant you choose will depend on the type of ceremony you want. Religious ceremonies may require a member of the clergy, such as a rabbi or cantor for Jewish weddings, or a priest, minister, or pastor for Christian weddings. Secular ceremonies offer more flexibility, and some states allow self-uniting marriages that do not require an officiant. In many states, a person must be an ordained minister, magistrate, mayor, or judge to perform the ceremony. However, it is also possible to become "ordained" online, and many couples choose to ask a friend or family member to officiate.
Responsibilities of the Officiant
The officiant will help you develop a clear timeline of events for your ceremony, including the processional, exchange of rings, unity ceremony, pronouncement, and recessional. They will also help with legal requirements, such as the one legal sentence that each party to the marriage must say, and the signing of documents with witnesses.
Choosing the Right Officiant
When choosing an officiant, consider someone who can help you create a meaningful ceremony that reflects your unique connection and infuses your personalities. This could be a professional or someone close to you, such as a friend or family member. It is important to choose someone who aligns with your vision for the ceremony and can help you facilitate it.
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Vows and readings
Wedding vows and readings are a beautiful way to personalise your ceremony and showcase your personalities as a couple. There are no limits to what you can include in your wedding vows and readings, from religious blessings to movie quotes, poetry, literature, and even song lyrics.
Vows
Vows are usually the top priority when it comes to wedding planning. They can be religious or non-denominational, and you can write them yourself or choose to recite traditional vows. You can also include readings before the vows to set the stage.
Readings
Readings are a great way to involve your friends and family in the ceremony. The content of the reading can help you decide who to ask to do the reading. For instance, if it's a reading about love being like owning a dog, you could ask a friend with great comedic timing to deliver it. If you're following a strict religious or cultural template, you may need to follow a set plan for the readings. However, if you want to personalise your ceremony, you can choose any readings that are meaningful to you.
Examples of readings
- "I've always believed in numbers and the equations and logics that lead to reason. But after a lifetime of such pursuits, I ask: 'What truly is logic?' 'Who decides reason?' My quest has taken me through the physical, the metaphysical, the delusional—and back. And I have made the most important discovery of my career, the most important discovery of my life: It is only in the mysterious equations of love that any logic or reasons can be found."
- "I love the way you laugh, as if you're surprised that you can laugh at all. I love the way you kiss my breath away. I love the way you breathe and speak and smile. I love the way you take the air out of my lungs when you hold me."
- "You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way."
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Music and entertainment
The wedding ceremony is a good opportunity for the couple to showcase their favourite songs. For instance, the entry of the wedding party is often accompanied by a song chosen by the couple, played by a live musician, a DJ, or the celebrant. The couple might also choose to include readings of their favourite books and poetry. For example, one couple chose to have the bride's sister sing a song they both liked during the unity ceremony.
The music played at a wedding can also be tailored to the different parts of the ceremony. For instance, the processional, when the wedding party enters, might be accompanied by a favourite song. During the exchange of rings, the song might be more emotional and meaningful to the couple. There is usually music played while the couple signs the marriage certificate. The recessional, when the newlyweds and wedding party exit, might be a more upbeat song.
The wedding reception is another opportunity for music and entertainment. The reception often starts with a cocktail hour where guests can mingle, and this can be accompanied by music. The couple might choose to have a band or DJ at the reception, and they will often create a final playlist of songs to be played. The couple's first dance as a married couple is a significant part of the reception, and they might choose a song that is meaningful to them.
The music and entertainment at a wedding can be tailored to the couple's preferences and can be a way to make the ceremony and reception more personalised and unique.
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The reception
During the reception, there will usually be a wedding cake, which the couple will cut together. There may also be a first dance for the newlyweds, followed by dancing for all the guests. Food is often served, whether it be a sit-down meal, a buffet, or more casual food options. Drinks are also served, with some couples opting for an open bar.
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Frequently asked questions
The wedding ceremony is where the couple exchanges vows and makes meaningful promises to each other. The couple might choose to include immediate family members, such as grandparents and parents, or just the wedding party. The ceremony can be held at a religious institution or a separate venue. The officiant, who is usually a member of the clergy, authorised celebrant, or government official, will guide the couple through the procedure.
The reception is a celebration or party held after the wedding ceremony. It can be held at the same venue as the ceremony or a different location. The reception often begins with a cocktail hour, followed by dinner and dancing. It is also when the wedding cake is cut and served.
The wedding ceremony is the official or symbolic part of the wedding, where the couple gets married. The reception is the celebration that follows.
The wedding procession is when the wedding party enters the ceremony venue. The typical order starts with the officiant, followed by the groom (accompanied by their parents or alone), the best man with the maid of honour, and the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen (paired up). In the US, the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down together in pairs and then separate when they reach the front. In the UK, the groom and groomsmen wait at the altar for the bridesmaids to walk down one by one, ending with the bride being walked down the aisle by her father.
