Ring Bearer's Role Explained

A ring bearer is a wedding party role typically given to a young child, usually between the ages of three and eight. The child walks down the aisle before the bride, often at the same time as the flower girl, carrying the wedding rings on a pillow. The role is symbolic, adding a touch of innocence and charm to the wedding, as the rings represent the couple's commitment to each other.

Who can be a ring bearer?

The role of ring bearer is a wedding party role that is typically given to young children, usually between the ages of 2 and 8. The child walks down the aisle carrying the wedding rings on a pillow and precedes the bride. The ring bearer can be a boy or a girl, and they are often a family member or the child of a close friend. If the couple has children, the role of ring bearer can be a sweet way to include them in the wedding.

However, the role of ring bearer is not limited to children. In recent years, it has become increasingly popular to have an adult friend or family member as the ring bearer. This could be a grandparent, an older sibling, or even the couple's pet.

When choosing a ring bearer, it is important to consider their age and maturity level. If the ring bearer is very young, they may not be able to handle the responsibility of carrying the rings. In this case, it is common to have the best man carry the real rings, while the ring bearer carries fake rings or an empty pillow.

Ultimately, the decision of who can be a ring bearer is up to the couple. It is an honour to be chosen for this role, and it is a great way to involve someone special in the wedding celebrations.

What does a ring bearer wear?

The ring bearer is usually one of the youngest members of the wedding party, typically between three and eight years old. There are several approaches to dressing a ring bearer, depending on the level of formality of the wedding.

For a formal wedding, the ring bearer traditionally wears a small suit or tuxedo, often a miniature version of what the groom or groomsmen are wearing. This can include a tuxedo jacket, pants, vest, shirt, shoes, bow tie or long tie, pocket square, studs and cufflinks. Alternatively, the ring bearer can wear a suit with a vest, necktie, and dress pants, or a long-sleeved dress shirt with a vest and necktie.

For a less formal or casual wedding, such as a beach wedding, the ring bearer can wear more casual attire. This could include a linen shirt, lightweight jacket, bow tie, suspenders, and shorts, or dress pants with suspenders and a bow tie or vest. If the wedding is outdoors, the ring bearer can forego a jacket and wear a coordinating hat.

Regardless of the level of formality, the ring bearer's outfit should coordinate with the groom or groomsmen's attire. It is also important to note that the child's parents typically pay for the outfit, so providing options at different price points is considerate.

How should the ring bearer carry the rings?

The ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of three and ten. However, there are no steadfast rules, and the role can be performed by a girl or even a pet.

Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the rings on a pillow, but there are many creative alternatives to this. Here are some ideas for how the ring bearer can carry the rings:

On a Pillow

The traditional option is to have the rings tied to a small pillow, which the ring bearer carries down the aisle. You can use a traditional white or ivory pillow, or a quirky patterned one. Many pillows are custom-made with strings attached to secure the rings in place.

In a Box

A box, whether wooden or glass, is another traditional and popular choice. The box can be tied to the ring bearer's pillow or simply carried on its own.

In a Briefcase

For a playful and whimsical touch, the ring bearer could carry the rings in a briefcase marked "ring security".

On a Softball Glove

If the couple met playing softball, you could put the rings on a softball glove for the ring bearer to carry.

On a Banner

The ring bearer could carry the rings down the aisle on a cute banner. This option reduces the risk of losing the rings.

On a Ribbon

The rings can be tied to a ribbon, which is then attached to your favourite poems or scriptures.

In a Bouquet

The rings can be placed in a bouquet carried by the ring bearer.

On a Sword

Before the introduction of pillows, the ring would be presented on the tip of a familial sword.

In a Wagon

If you have a pet acting as the ring bearer, the rings can be tied to a pillow strapped to their back or placed in a wagon pulled by the animal.

On a Collar

If you have a dog or cat as the ring bearer, the rings can be tied to their collar, either loose or in a box.

By an Owl

For a memorable entrance, you could book an owl to swoop into the ceremony and deliver the rings.

Fake Rings

To avoid the risk of losing the rings, the ring bearer can carry fake rings, while the best man or maid of honour carries the real ones.

Whatever option you choose, make sure the rings are secure and won't fall off. If the ring bearer is a child, it is a good idea to give them ample time to practice walking with the rings before the wedding.

Should the ring bearer receive a gift?

The role of a ring bearer is an important one, and it is traditional to give a gift to thank them for their involvement in your special day. The gift is also a lovely memento for the child to remember the occasion.

There are a few things to consider when choosing a gift for a ring bearer. Firstly, the age of the child. If the ring bearer is a young child, perhaps between the ages of three and eight, which is the traditional age range for a ring bearer, then a toy or fun gadget might be a good option. For older children, something more sophisticated like a personalised accessory or a tech gadget might be more appropriate.

It is also a thoughtful idea to choose a gift that reflects the child's interests and hobbies. For example, if they are into sports, you could give them a baseball with the proposal written on it, or a basketball with their name on it. If they are creative, an art set or craft kit could be a good option. You could also give them a puzzle with a hidden proposal or a ring-bearer activity book to prepare them for their role and keep them entertained.

Another idea is to give them something to wear during the ceremony, such as a ring bearer t-shirt, a ring security baseball cap, or a ring bearer cape. You could also give them a piece of jewellery, like cufflinks, or a tie clip set. If you want to give them something to remember the day by, a photo frame with a picture from the wedding is a lovely idea.

The presentation of the gift is also important. Quality packaging and a heartfelt note expressing your gratitude will enhance the perceived value of the gift and make the moment more special.

What are the duties of a ring bearer during a wedding?

The ring bearer is usually a young boy, between the ages of three and eight, and someone who is close to the couple. The ring bearer has one of the most important jobs at the wedding as they are required to present the wedding rings to the bride and groom.

Before the wedding, the ring bearer should attend the rehearsal and any pre-wedding events, so they can familiarise themselves with their role and the other wedding party members. They should also try on their outfit and practice walking down the aisle with the ring pillow, to help them feel more confident.

On the wedding day, the ring bearer will walk down the aisle, usually ahead of the flower girl or immediately before the bride. They should walk slowly and confidently, carrying the ring pillow with the wedding rings attached. Once at the altar, the ring bearer will present the rings to the best man or the couple when it is time to exchange rings. After presenting the rings, the ring bearer will typically stand with the wedding party for the duration of the ceremony, or they may be seated if they are too young to stand for a long period.

The ring bearer's parents also play an important role. They can help with logistics and handle any meltdowns, and may even walk with the ring bearer if needed.

The ring bearer should be included in photos with the wedding party and, depending on their age and comfort level, they may also join the grand entrance during the introduction of the wedding party.

Frequently asked questions