Rhiannon Hendricks
A wedding is a joyous occasion, but it can be tinged with sadness when we remember those who are no longer with us. Many couples choose to honour their grandparents, living or deceased, in their wedding programs. There are several ways to do this, including listing them in the wedding party section, adding a dedication, or lighting a candle in their honour. You could also include a recipe from your grandparent, reserve a seat for them, or lay a flower from your bouquet on a chair. If your grandparents are living but unable to attend, you can write a paragraph acknowledging their absence and thanking them for their love and support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who to include | Most people choose to only list immediate family members such as parents, siblings and grandparents. |
| Where to place the names | Most people place the names of the deceased at the end of the program to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory section. |
| Format | You can choose to format the list in paragraph form or as a list. If you choose a list, you may want to divide it into two columns: one for names and one for the relationship to the couple. |
| How to honour the deceased | You can include a dedication, such as "On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember [name], [relationship]." |
| Other ways to honour the deceased | You can hold a candle-lighting ceremony, reserve a seat with a sign or a framed photograph, or include a recipe or flower from your bouquet. |
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What You'll Learn
Honouring deceased grandparents in the wedding program
Including deceased grandparents in your wedding program is a wonderful way to honour their memory and acknowledge their significance in your life. Here are some thoughtful ways to do so:
Listing Deceased Grandparents
Decide whether you want to list your deceased grandparents in your wedding program. Most people choose to list immediate family members, such as parents and siblings, and sometimes grandparents. The decision can depend on the relationship you had with them and the length of the list you want in your program. If you have many deceased relatives to acknowledge, you may prefer to keep the list shorter.
Placement in the Program
If you choose to include deceased grandparents, consider where to place their mention in the program. Most couples opt to put these names at the end to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory sections. You can also include a dedication or acknowledgement section in your program, where you thank your guests and those who have been instrumental in your relationship.
Format for Names
Decide on a format for listing the names of your deceased grandparents. You can use either a paragraph format or a list format. If you choose a list, consider dividing it into two columns: one for names and another explaining their relationship to you, e.g., "Grandmother of the Bride." You can also include personal messages with their names, such as "Beth would like to thank her grandmother, June Jones, who could not be with us today. She is with us in spirit, and we miss her dearly."
Honouring with Flowers or Candles
In addition to listing names, you can honour your deceased grandparents with symbolic gestures. For example, placing a single flower from your bouquet on a reserved chair or including a memorial candle near the front of the ceremony area. You can also incorporate a candle-lighting moment during the ceremony, where your wedding officiant includes a brief statement about your loved ones.
Involving Living Grandparents
If some of your grandparents are living, it is customary to mention them in the program, especially if they are in attendance. Traditionally, the program will list the seating of the grandmothers, including their names and the song that will play during their entrance. The wedding party, including family, will be listed after the ceremony agenda, with grandparents of the bride listed first, followed by the groom's grandparents.
Remember, it is essential to consider your own preferences and comfort levels when deciding how to honour your deceased grandparents. You may also want to send a draft of the program to your closest living relatives for their feedback and approval.
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Listing deceased grandparents
There are several ways to include deceased grandparents in your wedding program. Here are some ideas to consider:
When deciding which deceased individuals to include in your wedding program, most people choose to list only immediate family members, such as parents, siblings, and possibly grandparents. The decision on whom to include can be based on the relationship you had with those individuals and the length of the list you want in your program. You may want to list only those who had a close relationship with you and your partner or those who played a significant role in your lives.
Placement in the Program
You can choose to place the mentions of your deceased grandparents at the end of the program to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory section. This way, you can honour their memory while keeping the overall tone of the program joyful and festive.
Format for the List
When listing your deceased grandparents, you can opt for a paragraph format or a simple list. If you choose the list format, you can divide it into two columns. The first column can contain the names of your grandparents, while the second column can explain their relationship to you and your partner. For example, "Grandmother of the Bride" or "Grandfather of the Groom." This format provides clear information about their connection to the wedding party.
Acknowledgements and Dedications
Instead of a simple list, you may want to include a heartfelt acknowledgements or dedications to your deceased grandparents. You can add a page or a section in your program titled "In Loving Memory" or "In Memoriam" to honour them. Here, you can write a message expressing your love and gratitude. For example, "On this special day, we lovingly remember our grandparents who are no longer with us. They will forever hold a place in our hearts."
Involving Living Grandparents
If you have living grandparents who are unable to attend your wedding, you can also include them in the program. You can write a paragraph expressing your gratitude and acknowledging their absence. For example, "We would like to recognize our beloved grandparents who couldn't be here today. We know they are celebrating with us in spirit." This way, you can honour both your deceased and living grandparents in a meaningful way.
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Including a dedication to absent grandparents
Listing Grandparents
You can list your grandparents in the wedding program, either in paragraph form or as a list. If you choose a list, you can divide it into two columns: one with names and the other explaining their relationship to you, e.g., "Grandmother of the Bride". You can also list living grandparents who are unable to attend by writing a paragraph acknowledging their absence and listing their names.
In Memoriam
Create a dedicated "In Memoriam" or "In Loving Memory" section to honour your grandparents. This can be a simple message, such as "We remember with love those who are no longer with us," or more specific, like "On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember [name], [relationship]." You can also include a recipe, a favourite dish, or a special way of cooking/baking attributed to them.
Symbolic Gestures
Honour your grandparents with symbolic gestures such as lighting a memorial candle, reserving a seat for them with a sign or a framed photograph, or laying a single flower from your bouquet on an empty chair. You can also involve your guests by asking the officiant to give a brief introduction of your grandparents and leading a moment of silence or reflection.
Floral Tributes
Flowers can be used to pay tribute to your grandparents. For example, you can place a long-stemmed white rose on the empty chair or pew where they would have sat. The groom can then step forward and place the rose on the chair during the ceremony. Alternatively, dedicate the flowers on the altar or the candle in the narthex as a symbol of their memory.
Seek Input from Relatives
Before finalising your wedding program, consider sending a draft to your closest living relatives for their input. This is especially important if there are deceased grandparents who are not included, as it may cause offence to the bride or groom's family if they are left out.
Remember, you can adapt these suggestions to fit your preferences and the nature of your relationship with your grandparents. The key is to find a way to include them that feels meaningful and appropriate for your special day.
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Seating arrangements for grandparents
Number of Rows:
Consider the number of rows you want to have during the ceremony. If you want to create a more intimate feeling, opt for a semi-circle formation. For a dramatic walk down the aisle, choose a larger number of shorter rows.
Grandparents of the Bride and Groom:
Traditionally, the grandparents of the groom walk down the aisle first and are seated first, followed by the grandparents of the bride. The program will usually list this as "The Seating of the Grandmother(s)" or "Grandfather(s)" and will mention the song that will play.
Seating Order:
According to traditional wedding etiquette, grandparents should be seated as they arrive to prevent them from standing longer than is comfortable. This approach also avoids the complexity of deciding who walks with whom and where they sit.
Seating with Parents:
One option is to seat grandparents with the parent that is their child. This ensures they are taken care of and can share special moments with their offspring.
Seating with Other Family Members:
If the parents are seated elsewhere, consider seating grandparents near trusted family members, such as aunts, uncles, or their caregivers. This ensures they are well-attended and can be a source of comfort for elderly grandparents.
Step-Grandparents:
In cases where step-grandparents are involved, seating arrangements can be adjusted based on relationships. If step-grandparents have a strong relationship with the couple and an amicable relationship with the birth grandparents, seating them together can be a good option.
Honouring Deceased Grandparents:
If you want to honour deceased grandparents, there are several ways to do so:
- Include a dedication or acknowledgement section in your program with a message such as, "On this special day, we lovingly remember [name], [relationship]."
- Add an "In Loving Memory" section to honour those no longer living, including any grandparents who have passed away.
- Use flowers or candles as a tribute, mentioning in the program that they are "in loving memory" of your grandparents.
- Write a personal message or thank you note to your grandparents who couldn't be there, such as, "We would like to recognize our loved ones who couldn't travel to be with us today. We know they are here with us in spirit."
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Honoring absent grandparents during the ceremony
If you are looking for ways to honor your grandparents who are no longer with you, there are many ways to pay your respects during your wedding ceremony. Here are some ideas to consider:
Memorial Table
A memorial table is a common way to honor deceased loved ones. You can personalize it by adding items from their life, such as their favorite hat, a fishing tackle, or their wedding veil. Fresh flowers can also be added, and you can even choose a unique flower that symbolizes remembrance and honor, like white roses.
Special Moment Before Vows
You can incorporate a special moment to remember your grandparents just before you say 'I do'. This could be a moment of silence, a song played in their honor, or a speech or toast sharing a sentimental story or words of wisdom from your grandparents.
Wedding Programs
If you are creating wedding programs, you can include a dedication to your grandparents. Most people choose to place mentions of deceased relatives at the end of the program to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory section. You can include a paragraph or a list with their names and how they were related to you.
Reserved Seat
Another way to honor your grandparents is to reserve a seat for them at the ceremony. You can use one of their jackets, place a bouquet of flowers, or block off the seat with ribbons and a custom sign.
Heirlooms and Photos
Consider incorporating family heirlooms or photos into your wedding ensemble or decor. You can display framed photos and heirlooms, or wear a piece of their jewelry or clothing, such as a military jacket.
Remember, the important thing is to make it special and unique to you and your connection with your grandparents. Whether you choose to honor them publicly or privately, they will be joyously celebrating your big day with you in spirit.
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Frequently asked questions
It is completely up to you which deceased relatives you want to include in your wedding program. Most people choose to only list immediate family members, such as parents, siblings, and grandparents. The decision can be based on the relationship you had with those individuals and how long you want the list to be.
Most people choose to place mentions of the deceased at the end of the program to separate the melancholy portion from the celebratory section.
Here are some ways to honour deceased grandparents during the wedding ceremony:
- Hold a candle-lighting ceremony.
- Reserve a seat for them with a small sign or a framed photograph.
- Include a recipe that was special to them in the program.
- Lay a single flower from your bouquet on a chair to reserve it for them.
