Rhiannon Hendricks
Wedding reply cards are a great way to encourage timely responses from your guests. They can include important details such as accept or decline, menu choices, travel arrangements, and even song requests for the band or DJ. When addressing response card envelopes, it's essential to consider the formality and tone of your wedding. Traditionally, response cards are addressed to the hosts, who are usually the bride's parents in formal weddings. Modern couples often designate a person in charge of collecting responses. The return address may differ from the invitation address, especially if different people are hosting various events, such as the wedding and reception. It is also important to consider the recipients' names and relationships when addressing the cards. For unmarried couples living at the same address, both names can be included on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first.
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What You'll Learn
Response card etiquette
Response cards are a critical part of your wedding stationery suite. They are a useful, though optional, addition to your wedding invitations. Response cards encourage a timely response from your guests and help you organize the seating chart, menu, and even music playlist.
The most important question on a wedding response card is whether the guests can attend or not. You can word this formally or informally. It is also a good idea to ask for any dietary requirements and menu choices. You can also ask for replies by text, phone, email, or wedding website.
Response cards are usually addressed to the hosts, so your guests can simply post the card. The return address on the response card may differ from the invitation address. Typically, whoever is hosting the event will receive the response cards, and their address should be used as the return address. In formal and traditional weddings, this is usually the residence of the bride's parents.
The "M" line on the response card is where guests will write their names. The "M" itself designates the first letter of the formal salutation (Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms.). It is most traditional to use the "M" line, though couples may opt to use the language "Name(s)" instead. The accept and decline lines are traditionally worded as "accepts with pleasure" and "declines with regret." There are many other options that imply less formality, such as "joyfully accepts" and "regretfully declines."
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How to address recipients
The way you address your wedding reply card recipients can set the tone for your wedding. A more formal or traditional address indicates a formal event, while a contemporary method of address may indicate a less formal event. Here are some tips on how to address your recipients:
Names
The names you use for your recipients should reflect their relationship status and titles. For a heterosexual married couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For unmarried couples living at the same address, address both people on one line, listing the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee". If one person in the couple has a title, such as "Doctor", list them first, regardless of gender.
Families
When inviting an entire family, the outer envelope should include the family name or the parents' names, and the inner envelope can include the names of the parents and their children. If the children are female and under the age of 18, address them with "Miss". If there are children over the age of 18, they should receive their own invitations unless they live at home with their parents. In this case, you can use the family format and address the outer envelope to "Ms." or "Miss" followed by the child's name.
Plus-ones
If a single female guest has been given a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Reserve "and guest" language for the inner envelope.
Number of guests
To avoid guests assuming they can bring additional people, such as children or partners, clearly state the number of seats reserved for their party. For example, "Three seats are reserved for your party".
Return address
The return address on your reply cards may differ from the address on your invitations, as the person hosting the event will usually receive the response cards. Traditionally, this is the residence of the bride's parents, but modern couples may choose to send them to whoever is in charge of tracking RSVPs. It is important to include a return address so that guests can simply post the reply card back to you.
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Meal preferences
Clear and Concise Wording:
Keep the meal options simple and concise on the reply cards. Instead of listing every detail, provide broad categories such as "Beef," "Chicken," or "Vegetarian." This makes it easier for guests to make a selection and gives you flexibility in case of menu changes.
Online RSVP Tools:
Consider using online RSVP tools or your wedding website to collect meal preferences. Tools like The Knot Guest List Tool allow you to gather RSVPs, meal choices, allergies, and other essential details in one central place. This simplifies the process for both you and your guests.
Distinctive Notation:
When noting meal choices, avoid using similar shades of one colour or subtle differences in design. Instead, opt for distinct options that are easily distinguishable, especially in low-light settings. This ensures that your guests and caterers can clearly identify the selected meal choices.
Plated Dinner with Multiple Entrees:
If you're offering a plated dinner with multiple entrée options, it's essential to collect meal choices with the RSVPs. Provide clear wedding RSVP questions or options on the cards, allowing guests to select their preferred meal and indicate any dietary restrictions or allergies. This information is crucial for the caterers.
Quantity Limits:
When offering multiple meal options, consider setting quantity limits for each choice. This helps control the number of guests selecting each option and ensures that you have an appropriate balance of meal preferences.
Remember, the key is to make it straightforward for your guests to understand and select their meal preferences while also gathering the necessary information for your caterers.
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Accept/decline and dietary requirements
The primary purpose of a wedding reply card is to find out who is coming to the wedding. This means that the most important bit of information, apart from the guest's name, is whether or not they can attend. This can be formatted as checkboxes, circling or fill-in-the-blank lines. You can also include a reply-by date, which is usually around four to six weeks before the wedding date.
As you will most likely be feeding your guests, it is a good idea to ask for any dietary requirements and menu choices. You may also need to ask about entrée preferences, especially if you are offering options. If you are serving the same meal to all guests, having a buffet-style meal, or serving hors d'oeuvres, you might leave this section off. You can also ask for dietary requirements by including checkboxes for options such as "chicken, beef or vegetarian".
If you are laying on transport for your guests, you might want to include a tick box to give you an idea of numbers. It is also becoming increasingly popular for couples to ask their guests to suggest songs for the playlist.
Finally, don't forget to include a return address with your wedding reply cards.
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Return address
The return address on wedding reply cards is important as it tells guests where gifts and responses should be mailed. Traditionally, the RSVP is addressed to the person hosting the wedding, usually the bride's parents. However, nowadays, it is not uncommon for the bride and groom to host the wedding themselves or together with their families.
If the bride and groom are hosting, their names can be used in the return address. For example:
Ms. Kari Johnson
Mr. Bradley Shaw
23848 Dunmore Loop
Mobile, Alabama 36695
If the wedding is large and some guests might not be familiar with the couple, it is a good idea to include both first names in the return address. Additionally, if the couple does not live together, they should use the street address they prefer to receive RSVP cards at.
If the bride's parents are hosting, their names should be included in the return address. For example:
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Johnson
12 Park Lane
Mobile, Alabama 36695
The return address is typically placed on the back flap or upper left/right corner of the envelope. It can be handwritten, printed, or calligraphed.
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Frequently asked questions
There are many ways to ask your guests to reply to your wedding invitation, from including a pre-printed reply card to asking for replies by text, phone, email, or wedding website. The best method depends on the tone of your invitation and how much information you need from your guests.
The most important question on a wedding reply card is whether your guests can attend or not. You can also ask for information such as dietary requirements, menu choices, travel arrangements, and song preferences. Don't forget to include a space for names and the return address.
Response cards should be addressed to the host of the event or whoever is in charge of collecting responses. The return address on the envelopes may differ from the invitation address, especially if someone other than the host is managing the responses. The formality of the addressing can also indicate the tone of the event.
The outer envelope should include the recipient's full mailing address in the centre of its front side. The inner envelope does not need address information, only the name of each recipient. The outer envelope should also include the names of all invited parties, including plus-ones and children. The inner envelope can use more informal names and designations.
