Junior Rasmussen
Wedding thank-you cards are a thoughtful way to express gratitude to your guests for their presence and gifts. While it may seem daunting, especially after a large wedding, it is an important task that need not be elaborate. It is best to handwrite these notes, even if your invitations were digital, and send them promptly, ideally within a month of the wedding. You can also add a few extra touches, such as including both partners' signatures and using personalised stationery.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Format | Handwritten, not pre-printed, filled-in, or generic |
| Timing | Send within one week to one month after the wedding |
| Recipients | Anyone who attended, gave a gift, hosted, or helped organise an event |
| Content | Include names, express gratitude, mention gifts by name, and add a personal touch |
| Signatures | Include both spouses' signatures |
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What You'll Learn
Thanking guests who didn't give a gift
There are differing opinions on whether to send thank-you cards to guests who attended your wedding but did not give a gift. Some people believe that the reception is the thank you for showing up, and sending a card may come off as passive-aggressive.
However, others feel that it is a nice gesture to acknowledge those who took the time to celebrate with you, especially if they travelled a long distance to be there. In this case, you could send a card with a simple message such as "thank you for taking the time to come and celebrate with us".
If you had a large wedding, writing individual notes to every guest can be overwhelming. One way to simplify the process is to use "the onion method". Start with the innermost layer, the people closest to you who helped make the day happen, such as parents or grandparents. Then, work outwards to the next layer, which might be your bridal party. You can skip additional notes for bridesmaids or groomsmen if you already gave them thank-you gifts.
Remember, it is proper etiquette to send handwritten thank-you notes, even if you sent digital invitations. Be sure to include both your signatures, and stamp each envelope individually.
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Sending thank-you cards for destination weddings
Sending thank-you cards is an important part of the post-destination wedding process. It is a way to express your gratitude and make your loved ones feel valued. Here are some tips for sending thank-you cards for destination weddings:
Timing
It is essential to send out thank-you notes promptly. Aim to mail them within one to three months after the wedding. The sooner you send them, the better.
Personalisation
Adding a personal touch to each thank-you card is crucial. Mention something specific about the guest, such as a special moment shared during the wedding festivities or another memorable moment from your lives together. This will make your guests feel truly appreciated.
Acknowledging the distance travelled
When writing thank-you cards for a destination wedding, be sure to acknowledge the notable distance and effort your guests undertook to attend your wedding. Express your appreciation for their presence and their generosity in travelling to your chosen location.
Handwritten notes
The best wedding thank-you notes are handwritten. Even if you sent digital invitations, stick to snail mail for your thank-you cards. This adds a personal and thoughtful touch.
Specificity
Be specific in your thank-you cards. Mention the exact gift received and share how you plan to use it. For example, "We can't wait to break out the pizza oven when the weather warms up!". This shows your guests that you appreciate their gift choices and are excited to use them.
Spreadsheet organisation
To stay organised, create a spreadsheet with your guests' names and addresses, gifts received, and whether a thank-you note has been sent. This will help you keep track of your progress and ensure no one is accidentally missed.
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Handwriting vs pre-printed cards
There are differing opinions on whether wedding thank-you cards should be handwritten or pre-printed. Some people prefer handwritten cards, arguing that they are more personal and thoughtful. They believe that taking the time to handwrite a card shows gratitude and appreciation for the time and effort the guest put into attending the wedding and giving a gift. Handwritten notes are also considered to be the correct etiquette, while pre-printed cards can come across as generic and disingenuous.
On the other hand, some couples opt for pre-printed cards, especially if they have a large number of guests and limited time. Pre-printed cards can be more convenient and save time, and some couples choose to add a handwritten personal message or signature to each card to make it more individualized.
Ultimately, the decision comes down to personal preference and the couple's circumstances. However, it is generally recommended to prioritize personalization and promptness in expressing gratitude, regardless of whether the cards are handwritten or pre-printed.
To make the process more manageable, some couples choose to write the cards in batches, sending them out in a timely manner, usually within one to three months after the wedding. It is also a good idea to keep track of gifts and guests with a spreadsheet or by taking photos of each gift, making it easier to reference when writing the thank-you cards.
Remember, the most important aspect is to convey sincere appreciation to your guests for their attendance, gifts, and support on your special day.
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How to address each guest
When addressing each guest in your wedding thank-you cards, it is important to be thoughtful and personal. While it is a good idea to follow a general structure, you should aim to make each card feel unique to the recipient.
Firstly, be sure to address each guest by their name. If you are sending a card to a couple or family, address each member by name, even if you are only close to one person in the family or couple. It is perfectly fine to use first names, especially if you have a close relationship with the recipient(s). If you are sending a card to a family, you could address it to "The [surname] Family".
Secondly, express your gratitude for their presence at your wedding. If they travelled a notable distance to be there, be sure to acknowledge this. If they did not attend, you can still thank them for their support and any gifts they sent.
Thirdly, mention any gifts you received by name and jot down a line or two about why you like the gift and how you plan to use it. This is especially important if the gift was monetary, as it lets the person know you received the correct amount and shows your appreciation for their generosity. If you received a group gift, write individual notes to each person who contributed.
Finally, add a personal touch by imbueing a little bit of your personality as a couple into your words. This could be a joke or a reference that is unique to your relationship with the recipient(s).
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Timeliness
It is also important to send thank-you notes for gifts received before the wedding as soon as possible. This ensures that gifts given at the wedding or just after are not kept waiting. If you have a lot of thank-you cards to write, it is a good idea to divide and conquer. Some couples divide the list in half, while others write cards to their extended families.
For destination weddings, it is considered customary to send thank-you cards to all guests, regardless of whether they gave a gift. Their presence at the wedding is considered a gift in itself. These thank-you cards should also be sent within the recommended one-month window.
Additionally, it is considered proper etiquette to send individual notes to those who contributed to a group gift. These notes should be written within two days of receiving the gift. This timely expression of gratitude is an important aspect of wedding thank-you card etiquette.
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Frequently asked questions
Anyone who gave you a gift, whether that was at the wedding, bridal shower, bachelorette party, or beyond. You can also send a note to anyone who hosted or helped organise an event.
In the case of a destination wedding, your guests' presence is considered their gift, so it's polite to send them a thank-you card. Otherwise, you don't need to send a card to guests who didn't bring a gift.
You can be less formal on the note itself and address individuals by their first names. If you're sending a card to a family or couple, address each member who attended the wedding by name.
Start with "thank you", then name the gift and say something about it, for example, how you plan to use it. If you received money, mention what you plan to do with it. You can also thank guests for attending, especially if they travelled a long way.
It's best to send them as early as one week after the wedding, but definitely before your one-month anniversary.
