Setting The Date: A Guide To Choosing Your Wedding Day

how do I set a wedding date

So, you've said yes and now it's time to pick a date for the big day. But where do you even begin?

First things first, don't rush into it. While you might be keen to get going with the wedding planning, there are a lot of factors to consider when it comes to choosing a date. From the people you want to share the day with, to the season, the day of the week, and the location, there's a lot to think about.

It's a good idea to start by thinking about the people who really matter to you, like your parents and anyone else who will be helping out financially. Pick a range of dates that work for you and ask your nearest and dearest to let you know if there are any dates within that timeframe that don't work for them. You should also consider whether there are any dates that are particularly meaningful to you and your partner, such as the date you first met or had your first kiss.

Next, think about the season and the month. Do you dream of a white Christmas or cocktails in the summer sun? The season you choose will have an impact on everything from the location to the colours, the theme, and the food. It will also affect your budget, with peak wedding season typically between May and October. If you're looking to save money, consider an off-peak month like January, March, April or November.

Once you've decided on a season and month, it's time to start thinking about the day of the week. Saturday is the most popular day for weddings, so if you're looking for more date availability and reduced rates, consider a weekday wedding.

Finally, don't forget to check the calendar for any local events, public holidays, or other weddings that could clash with your big day.

Now you've got all the tools you need to pick a date and start planning your dream wedding!

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Sentimental value: Choose a date that holds significance for you and your partner

When it comes to setting a wedding date, it's important to consider the sentimental value and choose a date that holds significance for you and your partner. Here are some tips to help you select a meaningful date for your special day:

  • Anniversary Dates: Think about important anniversaries in your relationship, such as the day you first met, your first date, or the day you became an official couple. Tying the knot on one of these anniversaries adds a layer of romance and symbolism to your wedding day.
  • Special Dates in Your Family: You may want to honour your family heritage by choosing a date that holds significance for your grandparents or parents. Getting married on your grandparents' wedding date or a date that holds a special memory for your parents can be a heartfelt way to include them in your celebration.
  • Lucky Numbers and Numerology: If you believe in the power of lucky numbers, consider incorporating numerology into your wedding date selection. For example, in Chinese culture, the number eight is considered lucky, while in American culture, seven and eleven are traditionally seen as fortunate digits. You can also explore the concept of Life Path Numbers, which are calculated using your birthday, to find a date that aligns with your beliefs.
  • Symbolic Days of the Week: Different days of the week carry different symbolic meanings. For instance, Monday represents health, Tuesday represents wealth, and Wednesday is considered the best day of all, according to an old English rhyme. Choosing a day that aligns with your values and aspirations can add a unique touch to your wedding.
  • Full Moon or New Moon: According to folklore and ancient beliefs, getting married during a full moon or a new moon can bring good fortune and prosperity. The ancient Greeks believed that marriages during the full moon were the happiest and most prosperous. Alternatively, a new moon represents new beginnings and growth, making it an ideal time to start your married life together.
  • Significant Months: Consider the symbolic meaning of different months and how they align with your personality and wedding vision. For instance, a summer wedding evokes a fun, tropical vibe, while a winter wedding exudes opulence and holiday cheer. Fall weddings are rich in colour and nostalgia, and spring weddings embody freshness and pastel hues.
  • Astrological Alignment: If you're into astrology, you can choose a wedding date that aligns with favourable planetary transits. A Jupiter Transit, for example, represents abundance and prosperity, while a Saturn Transit symbolises longevity and determination. On the other hand, you may want to avoid dates with Venus Retrograde, as this can lead to misunderstandings and reassessments in relationships.
  • Personal Preferences: Discuss with your partner any specific preferences you may have. For example, if you're a fan of the number two, you might want to choose a date with a "2" in it. Or perhaps you want your wedding date to be a palindrome, making it easier to remember and eye-catching on save-the-date cards.

Remember, when choosing a date with sentimental value, it's essential to stay flexible. Your desired date may not be available at your dream venue, or it might conflict with other important events. Be open to adjusting the date slightly or considering alternative venues to accommodate your special day.

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Consider the season: Pick a season with weather and blooms you enjoy

When it comes to setting a wedding date, one of the most important things to consider is the season. Each season has its own unique advantages and disadvantages, so it's important to choose the one that best suits your preferences and needs. Here are some things to consider when picking a season for your wedding:

  • Weather: Think about the type of weather you want for your wedding. If you're planning an outdoor wedding, you'll want to choose a season with mild temperatures and pleasant weather. For example, fall often offers mild temperatures and colourful foliage, making it a popular choice for outdoor weddings. On the other hand, summer can be a great choice if you want warm weather and a relaxed vibe, but be prepared for the possibility of high temperatures and afternoon thunderstorms.
  • Blooms: Consider what types of flowers will be in season during your chosen season. For example, spring offers a variety of blooming flowers, such as tulips, lilacs, and peonies, while summer provides a plethora of options, including hydrangeas, sunflowers, and roses. If you have a favourite flower, try to choose a season when it will be in full bloom.
  • Mood and theme: Different seasons can help set the mood and theme for your wedding. For instance, a winter wedding can create an intimate and cosy atmosphere, while a summer wedding can be more relaxed and carefree. Think about the overall vibe you want for your wedding and choose a season that aligns with it.
  • Budget: Your wedding budget may also play a role in choosing a season. Peak wedding season, typically between May and October, tends to be more expensive due to higher demand. If you're looking to save money, consider an off-peak season, such as winter, where you may be able to take advantage of discounted prices and better venue availability.
  • Guest availability: Consider the availability of your guests when choosing a season. For example, summer may be a popular choice as people often have more flexible schedules and vacation time. However, keep in mind that guests may already have summer travel plans, so sending out save-the-dates in advance is crucial. On the other hand, winter holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving may interfere with guest availability, especially if they involve family gatherings.

Remember, each season has its own unique charms and challenges. Ultimately, the decision comes down to your personal preferences and what you envision for your special day. By considering factors like weather, blooms, mood, budget, and guest availability, you can choose the perfect season for your wedding date.

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Budget: Opt for an off-peak season and weekday to save costs

Choosing an off-peak season and a weekday for your wedding can be a great way to save costs. Wedding venues and vendors often charge a premium for the most popular dates, which are usually Saturdays between May and October. By opting for an off-peak season and a weekday wedding, you can take advantage of discounted prices and have a wider selection of venues and vendors to choose from.

The off-peak season for weddings typically refers to the months of January, February, March, April, July, November, and December. These months tend to be less popular for weddings due to weather conditions or holiday conflicts. For example, July and August are considered off-peak months in areas with extremely hot summers, while December is busy with holiday-themed weddings. When choosing an off-peak season, consider the climate and local events in your desired wedding location.

Weekday weddings are also a great way to save costs. While Saturdays are the most popular day for weddings, considering a weekday wedding can open up more date options and reduce rates. Mondays are great for a relaxed pre-wedding vibe, Wednesdays are popular for breaking up the workweek, and Thursdays and Fridays are convenient for long-distance guests or parents with busy kids. With the rise of remote work, your guests may have more flexibility to attend a weekday wedding.

In addition to cost savings, opting for an off-peak season and a weekday wedding can also provide more availability and flexibility with bookings. You may have an easier time securing your dream venue and vendors, and your guests may appreciate the lower rates on accommodation and travel. However, it is important to keep in mind that some guests may find it inconvenient to attend a weekday or off-season wedding, so it is essential to consider your guest list and their availability.

By choosing an off-peak season and a weekday for your wedding, you can reduce costs, increase availability, and create a more intimate atmosphere for your special day.

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VIP availability: Ensure key loved ones are available

When it comes to setting a wedding date, one of the most important considerations is ensuring that your VIP guests—your key loved ones—are available to attend. Here are some tips to help you achieve this:

Send Save-the-Dates

Sending out "save-the-date" cards is a great way to let your loved ones know that they are invited to your wedding and to give them a heads-up about the date and location. This is especially important if you are planning a destination wedding or expecting a majority of your guests to travel, as it allows them to make the necessary arrangements and bookings in advance. The general rule of thumb is to send save-the-dates about six months before the wedding. For a destination wedding, it is recommended to send them out 10–12 months in advance.

Choose the Right Wording

When crafting your save-the-date cards, use clear and concise wording to convey the necessary information. Include your names, the date, and the location of the wedding. You may also want to add a note that a formal invitation will follow, especially if you are sending out save-the-dates before finalizing all the details. If your wedding spans multiple days or includes events that not all guests are invited to, consider using the phrase "save the weekend" instead of "save the date." This ensures that guests understand they are invited to all the festivities.

Provide Travel Information

If your wedding is taking place at a distant location or if most of your guests will be travelling, it is helpful to provide travel information on your save-the-dates. Share details about airports, hotels, and accommodation options so that your guests can make arrangements early and avoid last-minute booking hassles. You can also include your wedding website link, where guests can find more detailed travel information.

Address the Cards Correctly

When addressing the save-the-date envelopes, be sure to specify who is invited. If you are inviting a guest with a plus-one, add "and guest" after their name. This ensures that your guests know whether they can bring a partner or a date, and it helps you keep track of the expected number of attendees.

Consider Adding RSVP Information

If you have an A-list and a B-list of guests, you may want to add a polite RSVP request to your save-the-dates. This way, if someone from the first round of invites is unable to attend, you can quickly invite someone from the second list without having to wait for official RSVPs. A simple phrase like, "We would love to have you, but please let us know if you are unable to attend," will convey your request without being too forward.

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Lucky dates: Pick a date with a lucky number or numerological significance

Numerology is a spiritual system that assigns meaning to numbers, and many people use it to select a wedding date with favourable energy. The process involves adding up all the numbers in a given date to arrive at a single-digit number, which is believed to influence the energy and outcome of the wedding and marriage.

For example, to calculate the numerology of the date October 1, 2023, you would add 1+0 (for October as the 10th month) +1+2+0+2+3, which equals 9. This number is then used to interpret the date's energy and meaning.

Each number from 1 to 9 is believed to carry specific attributes. For instance, the number 1 is associated with individual self-expression, while the number 4 is linked with family, roots, and security.

When choosing a wedding date using numerology, it is recommended to select a date that is compatible with both partners' life path numbers. The life path number is calculated by adding up all the numbers in your birth date and is believed to represent a person's personality and life journey.

For example, if one partner has a life path number of 3 and the other has a life path number of 5, choosing a wedding date that reduces to 3, 5, or 8 (the sum of both) is considered favourable.

Additionally, certain numbers are believed to be more auspicious for weddings. The number 1 signifies new beginnings and unity, while the number 2 symbolises partnership and harmony. The number 3 emphasises creativity and expression, and the number 6 is connected to domestic happiness and family. The number 7 denotes introspection and spirituality, and the number 9 signifies completion and the culmination of single life.

When choosing a wedding date, couples can also consider the position of planets and zodiac signs on their preferred numerology-approved date. For example, having Venus, the planet of love, in a favourable position on the wedding day is believed to enhance romantic energy.

While choosing a lucky wedding date based on numerology can be fun and exciting, it is important to remember that your wedding day will be special no matter which date you choose.

Frequently asked questions

There's no hard and fast rule, but the average length of an engagement in the U.S. is 12 to 18 months. If you'd like to get married in under a year, it's recommended to secure your date about four weeks after getting engaged. This allows enough time to speak with family and friends about the best date and any prior commitments.

There are several factors to consider when choosing a wedding date, including the season and month, the day of the week, whether you want an indoor or outdoor wedding, your budget, and the availability of your venue and vendors. You may also want to consider the sentimental value of certain dates and the availability of important guests.

The perfect wedding date will vary for each couple, but a good place to start is by considering the season and month you want to get married. Think about the weather, the availability of your dream venue and vendors, and your budget. You can also pick a date that is symbolic to you, such as an anniversary or a date that holds cultural significance.

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