Setting The Rsvp Deadline: A Guide To Timing Your Wedding Responses

Setting an RSVP date for your wedding is crucial to finalising your guest list and planning the event. The RSVP deadline should be at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks prior. This gives you enough time to organise the final guest list and figure out who hasn't responded yet. It's also important to consider the kind of wedding you're having and whether you're inviting guests in waves. For a typical wedding, the general rule is to send invitations 6-8 weeks in advance and set the RSVP date 2-4 weeks before the wedding. This allows guests to make plans and gives you time to notify the venue and caterers of the final numbers.

Allow guests a month to RSVP

Allowing your wedding guests a month to RSVP is a considerate and practical approach to your wedding planning. Here are some reasons why this timeline works well for both you and your guests:

Ample Time for Guests to Plan and Respond

It is important to give your guests enough time to plan and respond to your wedding invitation. Sending invitations at least eight weeks before the wedding is recommended, and allowing guests to reply at least four weeks before the ceremony is ideal. This gives guests time to arrange travel and accommodation if needed, especially for destination weddings. It also ensures that you receive responses before finalising details with your caterer and venue.

Finalising Details with Caterers and Venue

Your caterer and venue will typically request an accurate headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day. By setting your RSVP date about four weeks before the wedding, you allow yourself a two-week window to gather late responses and provide the venue with an accurate headcount. This timeline helps you stay organised and ensures you can provide the necessary information to your vendors on time.

Managing Late Responses and Stragglers

Even with a generous RSVP timeline, some guests may still respond late or forget to respond altogether. By allowing a month for RSVPs, you give yourself some buffer time to follow up with guests who haven't responded. A friendly phone call, text, or email a week before the RSVP deadline can politely nudge guests to respond. It's also a good idea to include a reminder on your wedding website or send a reminder message to all guests a week before the deadline.

Sending Out Invitations

To ensure your guests have ample time to respond, it's recommended to send out invitations between six and ten weeks before the wedding. This timeline strikes a balance between giving guests enough time to plan and respond, and not leaving too much time that they may forget or procrastinate. Sending invitations too early may also result in guests not having their schedules finalised, making it challenging for them to provide a definite response.

Benefits for You and Your Guests

Allowing a month for RSVPs helps streamline your wedding planning and reduces stress as your big day approaches. It gives you a clear timeline to work with and ensures you can provide accurate numbers to your vendors. For your guests, it provides enough time to make travel arrangements, plan their schedules, and respond without feeling rushed. It also gives them the opportunity to include any necessary information, such as dietary restrictions or allergy information, which is helpful for your planning.

Send invites 6-8 weeks in advance

Sending out invites 6-8 weeks in advance is a good idea for a few reasons. Firstly, it gives your guests enough time to make plans and clear their schedules. Secondly, it allows you some time to notify the venue and caterer of the final numbers. It's also a good idea to give yourself some buffer time by padding your RSVP date – some guests will inevitably reply late, and you may need to chase people up.

If you're sending out invites in waves, you might want to ask for RSVPs a little earlier (around 4-6 weeks in advance). That way, if you receive any declines from your A and B-lists, you'll still have time to send out invites to your C-list.

For destination weddings, it's a good idea to give your guests ample time to take time off work, save money, and find a dog sitter. Sending invites at least 12 weeks in advance is recommended in this case, and you should ask for RSVPs around 6 weeks before the wedding.

Holiday weddings also demand more notice for your guests, as many people make holiday plans well in advance. Again, it's recommended to send invites out around 12 weeks before the wedding, but you should allow your guests more time to RSVP – ask for RSVPs 3-5 weeks in advance.

Set RSVP date 2-4 weeks in advance

Setting an RSVP date for your wedding is an important detail. The general rule is to set your RSVP date 2-4 weeks in advance of your wedding date. This gives you enough time to notify your caterer and venue of the final numbers. It is also enough time for your guests to make plans and clear their schedules.

It is important to note that some guests will inevitably reply late, so it is a good idea to give yourself a buffer of a couple of weeks to gather those late responses and give your vendors an accurate headcount by their deadline. Your caterer and venue will typically want an accurate headcount one to two weeks before your wedding day.

For example, if your wedding day is June 20th, and your venue wants your final headcount by June 6th, your RSVP date should be May 23rd. This gives you a two-week window to gather late responses and provide an accurate headcount to your venue by their deadline.

To ensure your invitations arrive on time, it is recommended to mail them out about a week in advance. So, in the example above, you would mail your invitations by April 25th, to arrive by May 2nd.

Setting the right RSVP date is crucial to help your wedding planning move along smoothly in the final weeks leading up to your big day.

Send reminders before the deadline

It's important to send reminders to your guests before the RSVP deadline. This is because it's likely that some guests will forget to respond, or they may not realise how important their response is to your wedding planning. It's also a good idea to give yourself a little wiggle room by making the RSVP deadline for your guests one to two weeks before you actually need to give your final numbers to your caterer and venue. This will save you a lot of headaches!

You can start sending out reminders about two weeks before the deadline. Just make sure you’re not sending this to everyone on the guest list. Avoid messaging anyone who has already submitted a response. You can be gentle and kind while still firmly asking for the RSVPs by a certain date. Here are some examples of wording for your reminders:

"We're so excited, we could burst! We want to remind all our lovely guests to RSVP by the [date]. You can be excited and firm at the same time!"

"We’ve been busy bees with all the wedding planning and wanted to share some news with you all about the progress. We've confirmed our favourite local band to play all the best tunes, and we can't wait to see you all on the dance floor. Get ready to get funky with us by RSVPing by [date]."

"The two-week countdown to the wedding has begun! As we prepare to make the final arrangements, we’ll need to have the exact headcount so please remember the RSVPs are due [date]."

"Our wedding date is approaching (eek!) which means final arrangements have to be made. This is a friendly reminder that the RSVPs are due a week from today."

If you've been open about your wedding planning process on social media, you could also post a reminder there. For example, next time you post an update to your Instagram story, add a line that says something like, "RSVPs are due in 2 weeks!"

How to send reminders

There are several ways to send RSVP reminders:

• By email
• By text
• Through social media
• On your wedding website
• Over the phone
• In person

If you're wondering how to politely remind someone to RSVP, a phone call is the best form of communication that stays in line with wedding invitation etiquette. A phone call is more personal, and your guest can hear the friendly tone of your voice. Even though texting is easier, your request won't seem as aggressive or insincere as it might over text.

If you're collecting RSVPs online, your wedding website is the easiest way to send reminders as it does the hard work for you. Some wedding websites will even send you an inbox notification when a guest submits their response.

If you're collecting paper RSVPs, make a spreadsheet to keep track of your wedding RSVPs. Write down your guests' contact information (name, address and phone number), response (yes or no), meal preference and possible plus-one. A spreadsheet will help you stay organised and help you know which guests to contact once your RSVP deadline passes.

Include RSVP deadline on invites

When it comes to wedding planning, setting an RSVP deadline is crucial to finalising your guest list and ensuring a smooth process for your big day. Here are some instructive tips on including an RSVP deadline on your wedding invitations:

Recommended Timeline for RSVPs

It is recommended that your wedding RSVPs should be due at least four weeks before the wedding, and no later than two weeks before the wedding day. This allows enough time to organise the final guest list and chase any late responses. Sending your invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding strikes a balance between giving guests enough time to plan and not leaving too much time for them to forget to respond.

Caterer and Venue Requirements

One of the most important reasons to set an RSVP deadline is to provide an accurate headcount to your caterer and venue. Typically, they will request a final headcount one to two weeks before the wedding. Therefore, it is advisable to set your RSVP deadline two weeks before their requested date, giving you a buffer to gather any outstanding responses.

Destination and Holiday Weddings

If you're planning a destination wedding or a holiday wedding, it's essential to give your guests more notice. Sending invitations at least 12 weeks in advance is recommended, with an RSVP deadline of about six weeks before the wedding. This extended timeline allows guests to make travel arrangements and gives you ample time to finalise details for your special day.

Include a Clear Deadline on Invitations

Be sure to clearly state the RSVP deadline on your invitations and wedding website. This ensures that guests don't overlook the date and provides them with a reminder to respond. It is also helpful to include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with the invitation to make it convenient for guests to respond promptly.

Follow Up with Guests

Despite your best efforts, there may be guests who miss the RSVP deadline. It is acceptable to follow up with a friendly phone call, text, or email after the deadline has passed. This ensures you receive the responses needed to finalise your guest list and plan accordingly.

Sample Timeline

Let's say your wedding is on June 20th. To give yourself enough time to gather responses and provide a final headcount to your venue, set your RSVP deadline for May 23rd. This allows a two-week window for late responses. Following this timeline will help ensure a stress-free planning process as your big day approaches.

Frequently asked questions