Junior Rasmussen
Weddings in Israel are steeped in rich traditions and customs, with rituals varying between religious and secular Israelis. The only type of wedding recognized in Israel is a religious one, with the ceremony conducted by a rabbi and including rituals such as the signing of a Ketubah, a marriage contract outlining the couple's rights and obligations. The ceremony also includes the exchange of rings and seven blessings recited over a cup of wine. The breaking of a glass is another well-known tradition, symbolizing the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. Israeli weddings are also known for their lively celebrations, featuring traditional dances, feasting, and an abundance of food and alcoholic beverages. The fashion at Israeli weddings is typically relaxed, reflecting the country's laid-back culture.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding type | Only religious weddings are recognised in Israel. |
| Clothing | Israel is a relaxed country, so formal wear is not common. Men often wear jeans and a button-down shirt, and women wear short, tight cocktail dresses. Female attendees are expected to dress modestly. |
| Wedding rings | The ring must be made of solid metal, preferably gold or silver, with no embellishments. |
| Prenuptial agreements | Jewish prenuptial agreements are designed to prevent the husband from withholding consent for divorce. |
| Wedding day | Weddings are held in the afternoon and continue into the night. |
| Henna ceremony | Mizrahi couples have a henna ceremony and celebration before the wedding. Gifts are exchanged, and traditional music is played. |
| Wedding ceremony | The ceremony includes the signing of a Ketubah, a marriage contract describing the rights and obligations of the couple. |
| Badeken | The bride's face is covered with a veil, symbolising respect for the bride. |
| Chuppah | The rabbi conducts the ceremony under a wedding canopy. |
| Blessings | There are seven blessings recited over wine. |
| Bride's circle | The bride circles the groom seven times, symbolising protection from evil. |
| Glass breaking | A glass is broken to symbolise the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. |
| Dancing | Dancing is a major feature of Israeli weddings. Guests dance in front of the couple to entertain them. |
| Food | There is a large spread of food, including Israeli salads, meats, and seafood. |
| Alcohol | Alcoholic drinks are served, including wine, beer, and liquor. |
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What You'll Learn
Henna ceremony and celebration
The henna ceremony is a colourful and spirited pre-wedding tradition that has been a regular part of Jewish marriages with roots in the Middle East and North Africa. It is a symbolic event and a statement of pride for those of Mizrahi heritage. The ceremony typically takes place a few days or a week before the wedding.
At the ceremony, the bride and groom wear spectacular, traditional clothing. The bride may wear a mesmerising headdress called a tashbuklulu, which towers above her head, and later a smaller headdress called a gargush or karkush. She will also wear an abundance of jewellery, with necklaces of silver, pearls, coral beads and amulet cases. The groom wears a traditional cap with mock payot (long sideburns) and a robe called a galabiya. At a Moroccan-Israeli henna ceremony, the couple and guests wear kaftans, and the bride wears a special dress called kshwa kbeerah, or 'the big dress'.
The ceremony involves a henna plant, Lawsonia inermis, which is a tall shrub that grows in hot, semi-arid climates. The plant is used to temporarily dye the skin and permanently dye the hair. The bride's hands are decorated with dye, and close female family members and friends may also apply henna to their own hands. In modern times, the groom and other male friends can participate too. The henna is thought to ward off the evil eye and increase fertility. At the end of the night, the couple receives a red henna painting as a blessing for a successful marriage and protection from the evil eye.
There is also a gift exchange, where the mothers of the couple give a piece of jewellery to their future son or daughter-in-law. The bride is often given gold bangles from Morocco, known as demlij, which are passed down through generations. There is also a feast of regional dishes and dancing to traditional Mizrahi or Moroccan music.
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The signing of the Ketubah
The Ketubah is a legal document, and in Israel, it is the government-issued marriage certificate. It is signed by the couple and two witnesses, who must be virtuous, observant, bar-mitzvahed men with no relation to the couple. The witnesses are responsible for ensuring the validity of the Ketubah. In some customs, the groom also signs to show he is aware of his obligations, and in modern practices, the bride may also sign.
The Ketubah outlines the terms of marriage, which must be agreed upon before the wedding can take place. These terms can be traditional or secular, and many modern couples choose to write their own Ketubah or purchase one with words that better reflect their relationship. The text is usually centred on the document, with designs surrounding it. The document includes details such as the date, the names of the couple, and the groom's financial and conjugal responsibilities to the bride, including provisions for divorce or death.
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The Badeken
The custom is derived from the biblical story of Jacob, who was tricked by his father-in-law into marrying the older and less attractive Leah, instead of Rachel, whom he loved. Thus, the groom has the opportunity to confirm the bride's identity before the wedding.
During the ceremony, the groom is escorted by his father and father-in-law to the bridal reception room, where the bride awaits, flanked by both her mother and her mother-in-law. The groom then places the veil over the bride's face and recites a blessing from the Book of Genesis: "Achotenu: at hayi le alfei revavah—'Our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of ten thousands'". The rabbi and the parents then offer their blessings and prayers. In some families, the bride's father also blesses her, placing his hands over her head and offering the priestly benediction.
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The Sheva Brachot
One custom during the Sheva Brachot is for the wine to be divided into two different cups, representing the bride and groom, and then poured together into a third cup. The blended wine is then poured back into cups for the bride and groom, and also poured into the third cup, which is shared by the community. This ritual symbolises how the couple is now connected and how their life together is intertwined with the community.
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Breaking a glass
The breaking of the glass is a well-known tradition at Jewish weddings. It is a symbolic act that carries a variety of meanings and interpretations.
One of the most common interpretations is that the breaking of the glass commemorates the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, a significant event in Jewish history. This interpretation serves as a reminder that even in moments of great joy, such as a wedding, we must remember the sorrow and losses endured by the Jewish people. The act of breaking the glass is believed to “cut” the covenant of marriage, similar to the breaking of the tablets at Sinai.
Another interpretation relates to the fragility of human relationships. The glass represents the frailty of love and the possibility of its disintegration. By breaking the glass, the couple expresses their wish for their marriage to never break, even in the face of challenges.
Additionally, the breaking of the glass is sometimes associated with sexual connotations. In the past, it symbolised the breaking of the hymen and the release of the sexual union between the married couple.
The act of breaking the glass is often accompanied by the exclamation "Mazel Tov!", which offers congratulations and celebrates the joyous occasion.
The glass used for this ritual can be of any kind, including old, new, borrowed, or blue glass. It is typically wrapped in a cloth napkin, satin pouch, or velvet bag to prevent injury from the shards.
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Frequently asked questions
Israel is a relaxed country, and this is reflected in the attire typically worn at weddings. Men often wear jeans with a button-down shirt, and sometimes a blazer. Women usually wear short, tight cocktail dresses. Female attendees are expected to dress modestly.
One ritual is the signing of the Ketubah, a marriage contract outlining the couple's rights and obligations. Another ritual is the Badeken, where the bride's face is covered with a veil, symbolising respect for her. Breaking a glass is another common ritual, which can be seen as a sombre occurrence to reflect on the destruction of Jewish temples.
The ceremony begins with the rabbi conducting blessings over a cup of wine, followed by the betrothal blessing. The couple then sips from the cup and exchanges rings. The bride circles the groom seven times, symbolising protection from evil.
The wedding feast involves dancing, singing, eating and drinking. It is broken up into two celebrations. The first part involves men and women celebrating separately, and the second part is a livelier celebration where guests mix and dance together. Traditional dances include the Krenzl and the Mizinke.
It is customary for Mizrahi couples to have a Henna ceremony a few days or a week before the wedding. The bride, groom, and their families wear traditional clothing, exchange gifts, feast, and dance to Mizrahi music. At the end, the couple receives a red henna painting as a blessing for their marriage.
