Lyla Dejesus
Wedding traditions in the United States are diverse and vary based on couples' origins, religions, ethnicities, cultures, lifestyles, and preferences. While there are no normal or correct ways to have a wedding, there are some traditions that most American couples still perform. These include the wedding cake, the first dance, the wedding processional, and a grand exit. Some other traditions include the bride and groom not seeing each other on the wedding day until the bride walks down the aisle, the father walking the bride down the aisle, the bride wearing white, and exchanging rings and vows.
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What You'll Learn
The wedding dress, usually white
The white wedding dress trend is often attributed to Queen Victoria, who wore white when she married Prince Albert in 1840. Victoria opted for a white gown to show off the detailed Honiton lace produced by the British lace industry, which was floundering at the time. Her fashion choice was widely reported in newspapers and magazines and soon influenced domestic and international wedding trends. Wealthier brides embraced the trend first, and it eventually spread across all economic levels, becoming cemented as tradition in the 20th century.
In modern times, the white wedding dress is still a staple of most weddings. It is usually worn by the bride during the wedding ceremony and/or the reception. In American weddings, it is important that other guests or people in the bridal party do not wear white, as it is reserved for the bride.
In addition to the colour, the style of the wedding dress is also significant. Modern weddings often deviate from traditional styles, with brides sometimes choosing a slinkier or shorter dress to wear for the dance floor. In some cases, there may be a change of outfit to reflect the heritage and culture of one partner, or to include a second ceremony within the wedding day.
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The wedding cake
In the 17th century, two cakes were made: one for the bride and one for the groom. The bride's cake was a light, white-iced cake, while the groom's cake was a dark, liquor-soaked fruitcake. Over time, the groom's cake fell out of favour, and the bride's cake became the main event. This tradition was brought over to America by early colonists, who considered the white-iced cake too light for men's tastes. However, as sugar became more affordable, white icing became a symbol of the bride's virginity and the wealth of her family.
Today, the wedding cake is usually on display and served to guests at the reception. It is often a multi-tiered, white cake, with different flavours of filling between the layers. The tradition of the couple cutting the cake together has been around for centuries, with the groom's hand placed over the bride's to symbolise his support and promise to care for her. This is usually done at the bottom tier of the cake to represent the longevity of their relationship.
In Southern weddings, a popular tradition is the addition of a groom's cake, which allows the couple to incorporate something meaningful or personal. Another Southern tradition is the cake pull, where single women pull ribbons attached to the bottom layer of the cake, with only one ribbon containing a charm or ring, signifying the next person to marry.
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The first dance
The tradition of a first dance dates back to 17th-century Europe, where formal balls were common, and it was customary for a guest of honour to lead the first dance. In the past, the first dance at weddings was often a waltz, as ballroom dancing was a widespread skill. However, in modern times, ballroom dancing is less common, and couples may choose to slow dance or learn a ballroom or choreographed dance routine for their first dance. Some couples even choose to headbang through a beloved metal song or swing dance to their favourite country tune.
There is no set rule about when the first dance should occur during the wedding reception. Some couples choose to have their first dance just after they have been introduced into the reception, while others wait until after the speeches or cake-cutting to open the dance floor. The first dance may also be followed by parent dances, such as the father-daughter and mother-son dances, and then the dance floor is typically opened up to the wedding party and all the guests.
Some couples prefer to stick to the traditional first dance, while others add their own twist or forgo it altogether in favour of starting new family traditions. Ultimately, the first dance should represent the couple in whatever way they wish, whether that includes a unique song choice, inviting other couples to join them, or simply enjoying a sweet moment together on the dance floor.
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The wedding processional
The processional often includes a permutation of the officiant, parents, the groom, the wedding party, the flower girls, the ring bearers, and the bride (who usually makes her big-day debut last). In Jewish ceremonies, the bride's family and guests sit on the right, and the groom's family and friends sit on the left. In Hindu weddings, the parents are more involved in the processional; the bride's mother and father even sit with the couple under the mandap for the service.
The groomsmen open the processional as they walk down the aisle one by one. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle one by one, ahead of the maid or matron of honor. Some couples may choose to have the groomsmen and bridesmaids walk in together in pairs. The ring bearer and flower girl precede the bride down the aisle. Traditionally, the ring bearer carries the wedding rings (or decoys) tied to a small pillow, and the flower girl may carry a basket of petals to scatter or a posy of flowers.
In more traditional ceremonies, the bride's father walks her down the aisle, while in modern ceremonies, both parents do the honors. This tradition dates back to the era of organized marriages, where the "give-away" of the bride represented the transfer of ownership.
At the end of the procession, the officiant addresses the couple directly, sharing the responsibilities and weight of marriage. This is usually when the couple exchanges their vows and rings.
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The wedding reception
The Grand Entrance
The wedding party members, including the best man, maid of honour, bridesmaids, groomsmen, bridesmen, groomsladies, flower girls, ring bearers, and others enter the reception space as the DJ or emcee announces their names and plays upbeat music. Finally, the newly married couple makes their entrance to great applause and takes their places on the dance floor.
The First Dance
The first dance is a sweet and romantic moment and one of the most popular wedding traditions. The newlyweds share their first dance as a married couple, and they are usually the only ones allowed on the floor at this time. The couple may choose a grand choreographed routine or simply wing it to a special song of their choice.
Special Dances
After the first dance, the couple may perform special dances with their parents. There may be a father-daughter dance and a mother-son dance. The couple may also choose to dance with other family members, such as grandparents and stepparents.
Speeches and Toasts
Friends of the bride and groom give speeches, sharing fond memories of the couple. The best man and maid of honour usually propose a toast to the couple.
Cutting the Cake
The wedding cake is widely seen as a symbol of fertility. Sharing the first piece of wedding cake is a ritual in weddings, although today it is more of a tradition than a serious ritual.
Gifts
It is customary to give newlyweds gifts for their new home together at the wedding reception. Couples may "register" at department stores, picking out items they would like to receive as gifts, and guests can choose to buy from this list.
Guest Book
A guest book is often on display near the entrance of the reception venue. Guests write their well wishes to the couple in the book, which serves as a memento of their nuptials.
Other Traditions
Other traditions include the groom removing the bride's garter and tossing it to the single men in attendance. The man who catches the garter is believed to be the next to marry. Another tradition is the "anniversary dance", where couples are asked to sit down as the DJ calls out different milestones, starting with couples married for six months, then one year, and so on. The couple married the longest is left dancing and may receive a round of applause.
Cultural and Religious Variations
It is important to note that American weddings are incredibly diverse, and many people incorporate cultural and religious customs into their weddings. For example, some Muslim brides may wear white, while others follow the tradition of not seeing each other on the wedding day until the bride walks down the aisle.
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Frequently asked questions
The tradition of wearing a white wedding dress comes from England. Queen Victoria wore a white lace gown during her wedding to Prince Albert in 1840.
Wedding rings are a symbol of marriage. The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where a ring placed on a woman's finger signified ownership by her husband.
In American weddings, it is traditional for the father to walk his daughter down the aisle and "give her away" to the groom. This dates back to the era of organised marriage, where a woman was considered property and could be used as collateral.
American weddings often include a wedding cake, a first dance, and a grand exit for the newlyweds. Some couples also incorporate rituals like jumping the broom, tying the knot, or pouring sand into a jar.
