George Boyle
Wedding traditions in the United States are incredibly diverse, with many couples incorporating cultural and religious customs from previous generations into their ceremonies. While some traditions are unique to specific religions, such as Hindu or Jewish weddings, there are several practices that are commonly seen in American weddings. These include exchanging vows, wearing wedding rings, the bride wearing white, giving gifts, and having a wedding cake. Some couples also choose to incorporate rituals such as jumping the broom or tying the knot to symbolise their union.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Wedding attire | White dress for the bride, tuxedos for groomsmen |
| Wedding party | Bridal party, groomsmen, bridesmaids, best man, flower girl, ring bearer |
| Wedding ceremony | Exchange of rings, vows, and kiss |
| Wedding reception | Gifts for the newlyweds, wedding cake, grand exit for the couple |
| Wedding customs | "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, a silver sixpence in her shoe", jumping the broom, burying a bottle of bourbon |
| Wedding location | Traditional weddings in churches, outdoors, or other buildings; destination weddings are becoming popular |
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What You'll Learn
Wedding venues and themes
Venue Options
There are several venue options to choose from, including:
- Hotels: From the iconic 5-star hotels overlooking Central Park in New York City to the unique Hotel Drover in Ft. Worth, Texas, hotels are a popular choice for weddings. The Curtis Denver, a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel, offers hyper-themed guest rooms perfect for a wedding reception.
- Resorts: Resorts offer a luxurious and elegant experience for weddings, such as the Fairmont Scottsdale Princess in Arizona or the Greenbrier in West Virginia.
- Historic Estates: Couples can opt for centuries-old historic estates like the Biltmore Estate in North Carolina, the largest privately-owned residence in the country, or the West Baden Springs Hotel in Indiana, known for its domed ceiling.
- Outdoor Venues: Outdoor venues provide a natural backdrop for weddings, including vineyards like Pippin Hill Farm in Charlottesville or Montage Healdsburg in Sonoma, and mountain settings like the Blue Ridge Mountains or the Rocky Mountains.
- Unique Venues: For a truly unique wedding, couples can choose from a variety of unexpected venues, such as the Neon Museum in Las Vegas, a treehouse, a library, or even a helicopter pad.
Themes
The theme of a wedding is often a reflection of the couple's personality and style. Themes can range from rustic and country to modern and contemporary. Some popular themes include:
- Rustic: A rustic theme celebrates the simple life, with venues like Catalina Island in California or Hotel Drover in Texas, offering a rustic-luxe experience.
- Luxury: Luxury weddings exude opulence and grandeur, with venues like the Plaza Hotel in New York City or the Wynn in Las Vegas, known for their high-end hospitality and stunning design.
- Nature-inspired: Nature-inspired weddings immerse guests in breathtaking natural landscapes, such as Amangiri in Utah, nestled among desert red rocks, or Alila Ventana Big Sur in California, offering a fusion of ocean, mountains, and forest.
- Historical: Historical weddings showcase the grandeur of bygone eras, with venues like the Biltmore Estate or the Breakers Hotel in Florida, featuring intricate designs and architectural masterpieces.
- Modern: Modern weddings embrace contemporary styles, with venues like the High Museum of Art in Atlanta, Georgia, offering clean and modern spaces designed by Pritzker Prize winners.
The options for wedding venues and themes are endless, allowing couples to choose a setting that reflects their unique style and creates lasting memories.
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Traditions and customs
The United States is a diverse country, and many American couples incorporate cultural and religious customs from previous generations into their weddings. However, there are some traditions that are commonly followed:
The wedding party
It is common for American weddings to include a bridal party, with bridesmaids and groomsmen. The bridal party walks down the aisle to initiate the wedding ceremony. Traditionally, the mother of the bride goes first, followed by the groom, the best man, the bridesmaid pairs, and the flower girl and ring bearer. The bride is the last to walk down the aisle, traditionally escorted by her father, who "gives her away".
The wedding dress
The white wedding dress is a widely practised American tradition. The colour white symbolises purity, and it is considered taboo for anyone other than the bride to wear it. This tradition dates back to Queen Victoria, who wore a white dress at her wedding in the mid-1800s.
The wedding vows and rings
Exchanging vows and rings are important traditions in American weddings. Many couples choose to write their own unique vows, while others opt for pre-written or religious vows. Rings are used to symbolise marriage, with the couple exchanging rings during the ceremony.
The first kiss
After exchanging rings, the couple shares their first kiss as a married couple, symbolising their union.
The wedding cake
Wedding cakes are a common tradition in American weddings, although some couples opt for alternative desserts such as cupcakes, macarons, or pies. The tradition of feeding each other a bite of cake dates back to ancient Rome, where guests would crumble a barley cake or wheat scone over the bride's head to symbolise fertility and good fortune.
The grand exit
Traditionally, guests would throw rice at the newlyweds as they got into their car, symbolising fertility and wishing them good luck. Nowadays, guests may use confetti or other alternatives for the grand exit.
The honeymoon
After the wedding ceremony and reception, the couple usually goes on a honeymoon to celebrate their marriage, lasting several days or weeks.
Other traditions
Some other American wedding traditions include "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe", which is said to bring good luck. Burying a bottle of bourbon at the wedding venue a month before the wedding is a Southern tradition believed to bring good weather and fortune. Jumping the broom is a tradition practised by African-American couples, originating as a way to mark their marriage when it was not legally recognised during slavery.
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Clothing and attire
The location and time of the wedding are also crucial factors in determining the appropriate attire. A destination wedding calls for resort-style clothing, while a wedding at a high-end hotel may require a full-length gown. The time of day is also a consideration – bright colours and flowy fabrics are more common during the day, while the evenings are usually more formal, with darker hues, beads, and sparkles.
The formality of the wedding is another key consideration. Wedding dress codes can range from white-tie, the most formal, to casual. For white-tie weddings, women should wear floor-length evening gowns with jewellery, heels, and a clutch. Men should wear tuxedos with tails, a formal white shirt, a vest, a bow tie, and formal footwear. Black-tie weddings are a step down in formality, usually indicating a formal evening event. For such occasions, a dark suit for men and a knee-length cocktail dress for women are generally appropriate.
It is also important to avoid certain colours and styles. Guests should avoid wearing white, the colour of the bridal gown, and matching the colours of the bridal party. Revealing, sexy, or flashy outfits should also be avoided, as well as overly casual clothing like jeans, sneakers, sweats, shorts, or t-shirts. Black is usually acceptable, especially in the Northeast and New York, but it is still considered a mourning colour in some regions.
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The ceremony
Weddings in the United States are often based on religion, culture, and social norms. While traditions vary, there are some common elements that make up an American wedding ceremony.
The Processional
The wedding ceremony begins with a processional. The mother of the bride walks down the aisle, followed by the groom, the best man, the bridesmaid pairs, and the flower girl and ring bearer. In a traditional American wedding, the bride is then walked down the aisle by her father, symbolising her being given away. However, in modern times, the bride may choose to walk down the aisle alone or with another family member.
The Officiant's Address
Once everyone is in place, the officiant will open the ceremony by welcoming guests and thanking them for attending. The officiant will then address the couple directly, sharing the responsibilities and weight of marriage. This is when you'll likely hear the famous "For better or for worse" marriage address. The couple may also choose to include readings at this point, often Biblical passages or other revered texts.
The Vows
Exchanging vows is an important tradition in American weddings. Couples may choose to write their own vows, expressing their love and devotion in a unique way, or they may opt for pre-written or religious vows.
Exchange of Rings
During the proposal, one partner offers a ring to the other. This ring is then used during the wedding ceremony and may be soldered to an additional wedding band. Both partners then exchange these rings, symbolising their love and commitment.
Unity Rituals
At this point, the couple may choose to include a unity ritual. This could be a candle-lighting ceremony, where they light a unity candle together, or a sand ceremony, especially if the wedding is on a beach. Other rituals include a lei exchange, which is common in Hawaii, or a bonding ritual using ropes or silk to tie the couple together.
Pronouncement and First Kiss
After the rituals, the officiant will pronounce the couple as married, and they will share their first kiss as a married couple, sealing their union.
Grand Exit
Finally, the couple will make their grand exit. While guests used to throw rice to symbolise fertility, these days they might blow bubbles, wave sparklers, toss dried lavender, or ring bells to send off the newlyweds and wish them luck and happiness.
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The reception
The Grand Entrance
The wedding party makes their grand entrance, with the DJ or emcee announcing their names and playing upbeat music. The newlyweds are introduced and make their entrance to great applause, taking their places on the dance floor.
Speeches and Toasts
During dinner, the couple's loved ones celebrate (and sometimes roast) the newlyweds with speeches and toasts.
The First Dance
The first dance is a special moment for the newlyweds, with 91% of couples performing one during their reception. The couple chooses a special song, and the dance may be choreographed or improvised.
Special Dances
Following the first dance, the couple dances with their parents. There may be a father-daughter dance, a mother-son dance, and a dance between the new in-laws. The couple may also dance with other family members, such as grandparents and stepparents.
The Wedding Cake
The wedding cake is widely seen as a symbol of fertility. Sharing the first piece of cake is a ritual that originated as a way to ensure fertility for the bride. The top tier of the cake is often saved and stored, to be enjoyed on the couple's first anniversary or their child's christening.
Gifts
It is customary for guests to give gifts to the newlyweds for their new home together. Many couples "register" at department stores, selecting items they would like to receive, and guests can choose to purchase from this list.
The Exit
At the end of the reception, the bride and groom make their exit. Traditionally, guests would throw rice, symbolizing fertility and good luck. Nowadays, sparklers or bubbles are often used instead. The groom then carries the bride across the threshold of where they are staying, symbolising his strength and their shared burdens.
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Frequently asked questions
Wedding traditions in the United States vary depending on the couple's culture, religion, and preferences. Some common traditions include exchanging vows, exchanging rings, the bride and groom being walked down the aisle by their parents, wearing a white wedding dress, having a wedding cake, and jumping the broom.
Some unique American wedding traditions include burying a bottle of bourbon at the wedding venue a month before the wedding to ensure good luck and nice weather, and the "cake pull" tradition, which originated in Victorian England and is especially popular in New Orleans.
Traditional or formal weddings in the United States often include designer dresses, groomsmen in tuxedos, elaborate invitations, flowers, limousine service, fine dining, and live music at the reception. Destination weddings are also becoming increasingly popular.
