
A wedding is a special occasion for the couple and their families. However, sometimes, a close family member might not be able to attend due to military deployment. If you're wondering how to include your deployed son in your wedding program, there are several ways to do so. Firstly, you can mention him in the program by name, expressing gratitude and acknowledging his absence due to his service. Additionally, consider reserving a chair with a photo of him and a note explaining his absence, which can be a heartfelt touch. Another option is to have him record a speech that can be played during the reception, making his presence felt. These suggestions can help you honour your son's service while also including him in your special day.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Methods to include a deployed son in a wedding program | Mentioning him in the program, reserving a chair with a flag, photo, and note, a recorded speech or video, including him in prayers of the faithful, a toast to him, setting up a Skype call, or having someone stand in for him |
| General information to include in a wedding program | The couple's names, the date and venue, the order of events, requests of guests, a welcome or thank you message, songs used at different portions of the service, names of authors and sources of readings, poems, and prayers, wedding party bios, and explanations of any ceremony or cultural traditions |
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What You'll Learn

Reserve a chair with a flag and a photo
Reserving a chair for your deployed son at your wedding is a thoughtful way to include him in the celebrations. Here are some ideas to make this tribute special:
The Chair
The reserved chair can be positioned in a place of honour, perhaps at the end of the aisle or beside the immediate family members. You could use a special chair for this purpose, such as a chair draped with garlands of greenery or flowers, or a simple chair with a reserved sign hung on it. A hand-painted wooden sign or a chalkboard sign with your son's name or his initials and the wedding date would be a lovely touch.
The Flag
If your son is in the military, displaying a flag is a meaningful way to honour his service. You could drape a flag over the chair or fold it neatly and place it on the seat. If your son is American, consider using the American flag, or you could use the flag of his military unit. However, be aware that some people associate a flag-draped chair with memorial services, so consider this when making your decision.
The Photo
Including a photo of your son is a wonderful way to feel his presence at the wedding. You could place a framed photo on the chair or hang it from the seat. Alternatively, consider displaying a photo of yourself with your son, or even a picture he drew if he is younger. If you'd like to be in the photo too, you could display a picture of you both sitting in chairs side by side.
Additional Ideas
To further personalise this tribute, you could add a note explaining your son's absence and expressing your well-wishes. You could also include your son in other parts of the wedding, such as mentioning him in the program, having him record a speech to be played during the reception, or including him in any prayers or toasts. If your son is able to contribute something creative, such as a drawing or a poem, this could also be included in the printed program or displayed at the wedding venue.
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Record a speech to be played at the reception
If your son is deployed and unable to attend your wedding, a thoughtful way to include him in the celebrations is to record a speech that can be played during the reception. Here are some ideas to help you craft a meaningful and memorable speech:
Share Cherished Memories
Take your guests back in time by sharing fond memories of your son. It could be the moment he first wobbled into your life, taking his first steps, or a funny 2 a.m. phone call when he thought he'd found "the one". These raw and heartfelt anecdotes will have everyone in the room leaning in, reminiscing, and feeling closer to your son, even though he cannot be there.
Include a Personal Message to Your Son and New Daughter-in-Law
Your speech is an opportunity to publicly welcome your new daughter-in-law into the family and assure them of your love and support. You could share a story about the first time you met her, or a special moment when you knew they were meant to be. This will be a touching moment for the couple and the entire audience.
Extend Blessings for the Couple's Future
As your son embarks on a new chapter of his life, offer him and his partner your heartfelt blessings and wishes for their future together. This could be a simple expression of your hopes for their happiness, or it could take the form of a family tradition, a special quote, or a piece of advice you want to pass on.
Include a Touch of Humour
While the speech will undoubtedly have sincere and emotional moments, including a touch of humour will lighten the mood and keep the atmosphere joyful. It could be a self-deprecating joke, a lighthearted story about your son, or a funny family anecdote. Just remember to keep it tasteful and avoid anything that might embarrass your son!
Keep it Sincere and Authentic
Speak from the heart and let your true emotions shine through. While it can be tempting to stick to a script, some of the most memorable moments come from when you put the script aside and speak candidly. Your speech will be a family heirloom, so make it unique and let your personality shine through.
Technical Considerations
When recording your speech, ensure you are in a quiet space with minimal background noise. Use a good-quality microphone or recording device to ensure your voice is clear. Record yourself from different angles and distances to find the most flattering and visually appealing setup. You can also consider adding simple edits, such as background music or fading the audio in and out, to enhance the final product.
Remember, your speech will be a cherished part of the wedding, and your effort and thoughtfulness in including your deployed son will be felt by all in attendance.
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Skype call during the reception
Including a deployed son in a wedding program can be challenging, but technology can help bridge the distance. Here are some ideas for incorporating him into the reception through a Skype call:
The Setup
Firstly, ensure that the necessary technology is in place and functioning. Test the Skype connection and internet stability at the venue beforehand to avoid any last-minute surprises. Consider using a laptop or tablet for a larger display, and position it on a stable surface or tripod. If possible, have a dedicated person to manage the call and troubleshoot any issues.
Timing is Key
Decide on the timing of the Skype call during the reception. You could opt for a continuous call throughout the reception, allowing your son to witness the entire celebration. Alternatively, schedule specific times for the call, such as during key moments like the first dance, cake cutting, or toasts. This way, your son can actively participate in these special moments.
Include Him in the Festivities
Involve your son in the festivities as much as possible. Encourage him to dress up for the occasion, even if he is in a different time zone or location. This way, he feels like an integral part of the celebration. If possible, send him some wedding favours or decorations in advance so he can decorate his space and truly immerse himself in the wedding atmosphere.
Interactive Moments
Create opportunities for interactive moments during the Skype call. For example, if there is a special dance that usually involves family members, invite your son to join virtually. He can dance with you or other family members, even if it's through the screen. This makes him feel included and creates a memorable experience for everyone.
A Special Mention
Acknowledge your son's presence and his unique role in the wedding program. You can mention him in the printed program, expressing your gratitude for his virtual attendance and his service. This not only recognises his importance in your life but also highlights the significance of his participation despite the distance.
By incorporating these ideas, you can ensure that your deployed son is an integral part of your wedding celebration, even if he cannot be there physically. The Skype call during the reception allows him to witness, participate in, and enjoy the festivities alongside the rest of the family.
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List him as an honorary member of the wedding party
If you want to include your deployed son in your wedding program, listing him as an honorary member of the wedding party is a great option. Here are some ideas on how to do this:
Honorary Wedding Party Member
Firstly, understand what an honorary wedding party member is. This role is often used when the couple wants to include more people in their wedding party than just immediate family or a small group of close friends. It is also a way to include someone who is unable to attend the wedding in person. Traditionally, the honorary wedding party member does not stand at the altar and may not have any specific duties or responsibilities. Their primary role is to provide emotional support to the couple and be a part of the celebration.
Listing Options
Now, for the listing options. You could list your son as a groomsman or bridesman, depending on the wedding party configuration, with the word "honorary" before or after the title. For example, "Honorary Groomsman: [Name]" or "Groomsman (Honorary): [Name]." Alternatively, you could list him separately as an "Honorary Wedding Party Member" or "Honorary Attendant." If you prefer not to use the word "honorary," you can simply list him as a groomsman or bridesman and add "absent" or "deployed" in brackets after his name.
Involving Your Son
In addition to listing him in the program, consider other ways to involve your son in the wedding. You could have him record a speech that can be played during the reception. If he is passionate about something, such as singing or poetry, he could send a video performance. Another idea is to include a special mention or dedication to him in the program or during the ceremony. If your son is artistic, he could contribute a drawing or another creative piece to be displayed or included in the program.
Symbolism
If you want to symbolise your son's presence at the wedding, you could reserve a chair for him with a flag and a photo or include him in a family dance. You could also involve him in the planning process by asking for his input on certain aspects, such as the menu or decorations. These suggestions are just a starting point; feel free to get creative and personalise these ideas to fit your family dynamics and wedding theme.
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Mention him in the program
Wedding programs are a thoughtful way to include your deployed son in your wedding. They are a great keepsake and can be designed in many ways, from classic and traditional to out-of-the-box. Here are some ideas for mentioning your deployed son in your wedding program:
Include a Special Tribute
You can add a special tribute to your deployed son in the program, commemorating him as a loving family member who could not be there on your special day. This can be a heartfelt message expressing your gratitude and honouring his service.
List Him as an Important Participant
If your son was supposed to have a role in the wedding, such as walking you down the aisle, you can still include his name and role in the program. This acknowledges his significance and lets guests know he is an essential part of your celebration, even if he cannot be there physically.
Share a Personal Message
Consider including a personal message from the couple, dedicated specifically to your son. This can be a way to express your love, pride, and thoughts about him on your wedding day. It adds a unique and intimate touch to the program.
Provide an Explanation
In the program, you can include a brief explanation about your son's absence, stating that he is currently serving in the military and unable to attend. This provides context for guests and highlights his dedication to his duties.
Mention Him in the Bios or Introductions
If you are including bios or introductions of the wedding party and family members, you can feature your son there. Share a brief description of him, his relationship to you, and any special memories or well-wishes you have for him. This way, guests can get to know him through your words.
Remember, the wedding program is a wonderful way to personalise your celebration and include those who are dear to you, even if they cannot be physically present. These suggestions can be tailored to fit your unique situation and the style of your wedding program.
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Frequently asked questions
You can include your deployed son in your wedding program by mentioning him in the list of people you want to thank or acknowledge. You could also dedicate a section to him, expressing your love, appreciation, and honour, and explaining that his service to the country is the reason for his absence.
If your son is able to record a speech, you can play it during the reception. You could also set up a video call with him during the ceremony, or mention him in your prayers if you are having a religious ceremony.
Here is a suggestion based on an example provided by a user on TheKnot.com: "We love, appreciate and honour our son [Name], whose service to our country as a [Rank] in the [Military Branch] stationed in [Location] prevents him from joining us today."











































