Junior Rasmussen
Kissing at weddings is a long-standing tradition that has endured the test of time. While the history of the wedding kiss is a little unclear, it is believed to have originated in ancient Rome, where it served as a legal formality to seal a contract. Today, the wedding kiss symbolizes love and commitment and is often one of the most anticipated moments of the ceremony. Couples may feel nervous about this public display of affection, especially with the added pressure of getting it right. However, it's important to remember that the kiss is not compulsory, and couples can choose to skip or alter it according to their preferences.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| History | The tradition dates back to ancient Rome, where it was used to seal a contract. |
| Superstition | In medieval Europe, the groom carried the bride into their new home to protect her from evil spirits. |
| Symbolism | The kiss symbolises love and commitment. |
| Culture | In Christian weddings, the kiss may represent the couple "becoming one flesh." |
| Timing | The first kiss usually happens at the end of the ceremony, after the vows and rings are exchanged. |
| Variations | Couples may choose to include other forms of affection, such as hugs or forehead kisses, in addition to or instead of the traditional lip-lock. |
| Privacy | Some couples may prefer a more intimate setting for their first kiss, such as an elopement ceremony. |
| Games | Wedding guests often engage in games where clinking glasses or singing songs prompts the couple to kiss. |
| Trends | Trends like the "bookend technique" or "surprise neck kisses" add a playful or romantic touch to the traditional wedding kiss. |
| Comfort | Couples who prefer to avoid a public display of affection can skip or alter the first kiss to suit their comfort level. |
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What You'll Learn
The wedding kiss as a tradition
The wedding kiss is a highly anticipated moment and is considered a significant tradition in many cultures. While its history is a bit unclear, there are several accounts of its origin.
One of the most commonly cited stories traces its roots back to ancient Rome, where the wedding kiss served a legal purpose. In an age of widespread illiteracy, marriages were considered contracts, and the kiss symbolised the sealing of this contract, similar to a signature. This is believed to be the origin of the phrase "to seal with a kiss".
Another account suggests that the tradition stems from Christian practices. In ancient Catholic ceremonies, priests would give the groom "a kiss of peace", which the groom would then pass on to his bride. This is thought to be the origin of the phrase "you may now kiss the bride". Additionally, in the Bible, a kiss symbolises the wedded couple "becoming one flesh", further emphasising the unity and commitment of the marriage covenant.
Over time, the wedding kiss has evolved into a symbol of love and commitment, often representing the couple's first kiss as newlyweds, even though they may have kissed numerous times before. The first kiss as a married couple usually takes place at the end of the ceremony, after exchanging vows and rings, and is often witnessed by family and friends.
While the wedding kiss is a widely practised tradition, it is not mandatory. Couples who are uncomfortable with public displays of affection can choose to skip or modify it. Some alternatives include exchanging a shorter kiss, sharing hugs, or inviting other couples to kiss simultaneously to shift the focus away from just the newlyweds. Ultimately, the decision to include or forgo the wedding kiss is entirely up to the couple, allowing them to create a ceremony that aligns with their preferences and comfort levels.
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The history of the wedding kiss
The wedding kiss has been a tradition for centuries, with various cultures and religions incorporating it into their wedding ceremonies. While the specifics of the tradition may vary, the kiss generally symbolises the union of the couple and serves as a romantic gesture.
In ancient times, kissing was a common way to seal agreements or contracts, with the kiss serving as a "signature" in an age of widespread illiteracy. This practice extended to marriage contracts, with the wedding kiss considered the first kiss between the couple. The custom of the groom kissing the bride at the end of the ceremony may have originated from ancient Catholic ceremonies, where priests would give the groom a "kiss of peace" and then instruct him to pass the kiss on to his bride. Over time, this evolved into the familiar phrase "You may now kiss the bride," which is still commonly used today.
The wedding kiss is also mentioned in religious scriptures. In the Bible, Mark 10:8 states, "and the two shall become one flesh," which is interpreted as a reference to the union formed through the wedding kiss. The "holy kiss" is also mentioned in other parts of the Bible, such as Romans and Corinthians, further emphasising its religious significance.
In addition to its symbolic and religious aspects, the wedding kiss is often associated with superstitions and folklore. In some cultures, mistletoe is considered a good luck charm for newlyweds, as it is believed to promote fertility and love. The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe has its roots in ancient Norse mythology, where it is linked to the story of the goddess Frigg and her son Baldr.
Today, the wedding kiss is still a highly anticipated moment in a wedding ceremony. Couples may feel pressured to choreograph the perfect kiss, balancing affection and sincerity while considering the presence of their guests and photographers. While the specifics of the kiss may vary depending on cultural and personal preferences, it remains a significant part of wedding traditions worldwide.
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The meaning behind the kiss
Kissing at a wedding symbolises love and commitment. The first kiss usually happens at the end of the ceremony, after the vows and rings have been exchanged. The couple's first kiss as newlyweds symbolises the solidification of their commitment to each other.
The history of the wedding kiss is a little unclear, with several theories about how the tradition began. One of the most common theories is that the tradition started in Ancient Rome, where a kiss was used to seal a legal contract. In an era of widespread illiteracy, the wedding kiss served as a "signature" that rendered the contract binding. This is said to be the origin of the phrase "to seal with a kiss".
Another theory suggests that kissing at a wedding is a Christian tradition. In the Bible, a kiss may symbolise the couple "becoming one flesh". Ancient Catholic wedding ceremonies included the priest giving the groom the "kiss of peace", which the groom would then pass on to his bride. This is believed to be the origin of the phrase "you may now kiss the bride".
In some cultures, rain on your wedding day is seen as a symbol of fertility and cleansing. Superstitions and traditions surrounding weddings vary across different cultures and beliefs. For example, according to Greek culture, placing a sugar cube on the bride will sweeten the marriage. In Ireland, bells are chimed at weddings to ward off evil spirits and ensure a harmonious family life.
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Kissing alternatives
The wedding kiss is steeped in history, with the most common origin story being that of the ancient Romans. In ancient Rome, the wedding kiss was a legal formality, symbolizing the transaction of a contract, as marriage was considered a form of a binding agreement.
While the wedding kiss has stood the test of time, it is not compulsory and couples can choose to skip it or alter it. Here are some unique alternatives to the traditional wedding kiss:
- A quick spin and dip at the end of the ceremony is an adorable way to celebrate your union and also a great way to transition into your first dance.
- Share a high five or a secret handshake with your spouse to kick off your newlywed life with a fun and lighthearted twist.
- If you have a furry friend, you and your partner can lean down and give your pet a kiss on the cheek simultaneously, making for an adorable photo opportunity.
- Exchange hugs during your ceremony instead of a kiss.
- If you're music lovers, showcase your talents with a brief musical tribute to your marriage by singing a duet or playing instruments.
- Host a trivia challenge and have your guests answer questions about you as a couple. The couple can kiss after each correct answer.
- Assign each table a blank numbered card and have guests write down a song request. When that song plays, the couple takes to the dance floor and can end their performance with a kiss.
- In Irish tradition, wedding bells are believed to be a symbol of the couple's love and also ward off bad spirits. You can hand out bells as wedding favors and ask guests to ring them during the recessional instead of a kiss.
These alternatives offer creative ways to commemorate your special day and showcase your excitement, while also respecting your comfort levels with public displays of affection.
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Kissing superstitions
Kissing is a common gesture of greeting, respect, or reverence in many cultures. Depending on the culture and context, a kiss can express sentiments of love, passion, romance, sexual attraction, greeting, peace, or good luck.
In some Western cultures, it is customary to kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve. Some believe that failing to do so will bring a year of loneliness. This superstition is thought to have Old English or Germanic roots. The ancient Greeks believed that kissing someone at the New Year would purify them of evil for the coming year, warding off evil spirits. In modern times, kissing someone at the New Year is believed to set the tone for the relationship with that person for the rest of the year.
In some parts of the world, kissing is taboo and banned in films and other media. For example, in parts of Sudan, it is believed that the mouth is a portal to the soul, and kissing can invite death or allow one's spirit to be taken. Kissing traditions were often modified during the COVID-19 pandemic to avoid spreading illness.
There are also various superstitions and traditions involving kissing that are specific to certain countries and cultures. For example, in Italy, Hungary, and Brazil, two kisses are exchanged during greetings, while in Belgium and Russia, three kisses are standard. In Ecuador, women only kiss on the right cheek, and in Oman, men sometimes greet each other by kissing on the nose after a handshake.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not compulsory to kiss at your wedding. It is your day, and you can choose to skip the kissing moment altogether.
You could exchange hugs during your ceremony instead of a kiss, or invite all your guests who are coupled up to kiss at the same time so that not all eyes are on you.
Kissing at weddings symbolises love and commitment. In ancient Rome, the wedding kiss was a legal formality that symbolised a transaction that had taken place. Marriage was considered a contract, and the kiss was the "signature" that rendered the contract binding.
A quick peck may come off as insincere, but a full make-out session will make your guests uncomfortable. A soft, wraparound kiss is both sentimental and photogenic.
