Why I Chose To Forego Bridesmaids At My Wedding

More and more brides are choosing to forgo the traditional bridal party, and instead, are opting for a wedding without bridesmaids. There are many reasons for this decision, from financial constraints to wanting to avoid the stress of choosing a select few friends to stand by your side. Additionally, the role of a bridesmaid can be expensive, with costs such as the bachelorette party, the dress, hair, and makeup adding up quickly. Ultimately, the choice to have a bridal party or not is a personal one, and couples should feel free to design their wedding day according to their own preferences and vision.

It's expensive to have bridesmaids

There are many reasons why you might not want to have bridesmaids at your wedding, and one of the most significant is the cost. The expense of being a bridesmaid can quickly add up, and it's often the bride who covers many of these costs. So, if you're looking to keep costs down, here's why it's a good idea to skip the bridal party.

The Cost of Being a Bridesmaid

Firstly, let's look at the costs from the perspective of the bridesmaid. The average cost of being a bridesmaid is $1,200 per wedding, and that figure can easily increase to over $1,800. The biggest expenses include the bridesmaid dress, travel, hair, makeup, and pre-wedding parties. The dress alone can cost around $130-$150, and that's before any alterations, which can add another $30-$100. If the bridesmaid has to travel to the wedding, that's another expense, with the average cost of travel and accommodation being $320. Pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, can cost a bridesmaid over $800, especially if it's a destination party. All of these costs add up, and that's without considering any gifts, accessories, or other extras.

The Cost to the Bride

Now, let's look at it from the bride's perspective. While bridesmaids often cover their own dress costs, the bride is expected to provide Instagram-ready bridesmaid proposal boxes and handle certain other costs, such as hair and makeup, bouquets, and bridesmaid gifts. These costs can quickly add up, especially if you have multiple bridesmaids. According to event planner Cameron Forbes, "if you choose not to have bridesmaids in your wedding, you can avoid the fees associated with their attire, glam, bouquets, and other related costs."

Other Benefits of Skipping Bridesmaids

In addition to the financial savings, there are other benefits to skipping bridesmaids. You'll have more time to focus on family and your own schedule during the planning process. You also won't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings by not choosing them as a bridesmaid or dealing with any potential drama between your friends.

Alternatives to Bridesmaids

If you still want to include your closest friends in your wedding, there are ways to do so without having a traditional bridal party. You can get ready together, have a girls' night or bachelorette party, include them in the wedding photos, or ask them to do a reading during the ceremony. This way, your friends can still feel involved and special without the financial burden of being a bridesmaid.

You don't want to choose between friends

It is completely okay to not have bridesmaids at your wedding. It is an increasingly popular decision made by today's brides. There are several pros to not having bridesmaids, such as avoiding the costs associated with their attire, hair, makeup, and bouquets. It also frees up your schedule, as you don't have to orchestrate schedules and personalities or worry about fittings and bachelorette trips.

However, not having bridesmaids can also mean missing out on a time-honored tradition and a built-in support system on your wedding day. It can be tricky to choose between friends, especially if you have a big circle of friends. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

• Decide on the size of your bridal party: If you prefer a smaller bridal party, it is understandable if only your closest friends or family members make the cut. However, if you plan to have a large bridal party, consider adding a few more people to avoid hurt feelings.
• Identify your VIPs: Choose the people who are closest to you and have always known would be your bridesmaids, such as your sister, lifelong best friend, or a close coworker.
• Consider recent weddings: If a friend asked you to be a bridesmaid in their wedding within the last three years, it is polite to reciprocate. However, if the wedding was longer than three years ago, you are not obligated to include them unless you want to.
• Family ties: If your friend is married to your sibling, your partner's sister, or is your own sister, and they included you in their bridal party, it is a good idea to return the favor.
• Be honest and gentle: If you decide not to include a friend as a bridesmaid, be upfront and gentle in letting them know. Explain that you decided to keep the bridal party small. Ask them to do a reading during the ceremony or be a part of your rehearsal dinner.
• Include them in other ways: There are many ways to involve your friends in your wedding without making them bridesmaids. You can get ready together, have a friends-only bachelorette party, or invite them to your bridal shower. They can also do a reading during the ceremony, be your wedding entourage when dress shopping, or simply take a special photo together.

Remember, your wedding day should reflect your preferences and vision. It is okay to choose not to have bridesmaids if that is what you prefer. Your friends will likely understand and may even be relieved to simply attend the wedding and have fun.

You want to avoid obligation

If you want to avoid obligation at your wedding, not having bridesmaids can be a great option. Here are some reasons why skipping the bridal party can help you achieve that:

No Obligations for You or Your Friends

It can be challenging to choose a handful of friends to be your bridesmaids, and you may worry about creating an awkward situation for those who don't make the cut. By not having bridesmaids, you can avoid this potential stressor and keep your wedding planning process obligation-free. This way, you won't have to worry about disappointing anyone or creating feelings of obligation for your friends to spend money and time on bridesmaid duties.

Financial Obligations

The financial obligations of being a bridesmaid can be significant, and it is often expected that the bride will cover certain costs such as bridesmaid gifts, hair, and makeup. By not having bridesmaids, you can avoid these extra expenses, which can quickly add up, especially if you have a large bridal party. This allows you and your friends to allocate your funds to other priorities, such as the wedding venue, décor, or your honeymoon.

Time Obligations

Planning a wedding can be time-consuming, and coordinating schedules with a bridal party adds another layer of complexity. By skipping the bridal party, you free up your schedule and have more time to focus on other aspects of the wedding or spend quality time with your partner. You won't have to worry about constant group chats, fittings, and bachelorette trip planning, reducing time-related obligations for both you and your friends.

Obligations on the Wedding Day

Having bridesmaids can bring a joyful and social dynamic to the wedding, but it also comes with obligations on the day itself. Your bridesmaids might be expected to help with last-minute tasks, which can take away from their enjoyment of the day and your time spent getting ready. Without bridesmaids, you can ensure that everyone, including yourself, can fully immerse themselves in the celebration without any obligations or duties weighing them down.

Tradition vs. Personal Preference

While having bridesmaids is a long-standing tradition, it is ultimately your decision whether to include them in your wedding. If you feel that the role of bridesmaids doesn't align with your vision or preferences, it's perfectly fine to opt for a more personalised approach. Your wedding should reflect your personality and values, and skipping the bridal party can help you create a more intimate and inclusive atmosphere where everyone feels equally important.

You want to avoid unnecessary attire issues

There are many reasons why you may want to avoid bridesmaids at your wedding, and one of them is to prevent unnecessary attire issues. Here are some tips to help you achieve that:

Avoid the stress of choosing bridesmaid dresses

Selecting dresses that please everyone can be challenging. By not having bridesmaids, you can skip the stress of making this decision and focus on your own attire. You won't have to worry about matching dresses, inclusive styles, or the cost of the dresses and other related expenses.

Prevent colour coordination issues

Without bridesmaids, you won't have to worry about your wedding guests accidentally matching the bridal party's colours. This reduces the chances of guests looking like they are part of the bridal party or, worse, accidentally upstaging the bride.

Maintain a cohesive wedding aesthetic

Your wedding photos will look more cohesive without the added challenge of coordinating bridesmaid dresses with the rest of the wedding aesthetic. This is especially beneficial if you are particular about the colours and styles incorporated into your wedding.

Avoid potential drama and conflict

Having bridesmaids means taking on the responsibility of ensuring their dresses are appropriate and well-received. By not having bridesmaids, you can avoid potential drama and conflict that may arise due to differing opinions and preferences.

Simplify the planning process

Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, and choosing and organising bridesmaid dresses adds to the complexity. Removing this element can simplify the planning process, giving you more time to focus on other aspects of your special day.

Remember, your wedding day should reflect your vision and preferences. If you feel that not having bridesmaids is the right choice for you, trust your instincts and do what makes you happiest.

You want to save time on planning

Opting to not have bridesmaids at your wedding can save you a lot of time and energy when it comes to planning.

For one, you won't have to worry about the stress of selecting your bridesmaids. Choosing your bridal party can be a difficult task, as you may feel pressured to include all your close friends and family members. This can result in a large number of bridesmaids, which means more people to please and coordinate with.

Not having bridesmaids also means you won't have to plan a bridesmaid proposal, which is becoming an increasingly common trend. You won't have to worry about the added expense of proposal boxes or the stress of organising an event that lives up to everyone's expectations.

Another time-consuming aspect of having bridesmaids is helping them get ready for the wedding. As the bride, you may be expected to attend dress fittings and appointments with your bridesmaids, as well as assist with their hair, makeup, and accessories. This can take up a significant amount of time and energy, especially if your bridesmaids have different styles and preferences.

Additionally, bridesmaids often play a crucial role in planning pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Without bridesmaids, you won't have to spend time coordinating these events and can instead focus on your own preparations and enjoyment.

Finally, by not having bridesmaids, you can avoid any potential drama or conflicts that may arise within the bridal party. This means less stress for you and more time to focus on your own wedding planning and celebrations.

In summary, choosing to forego bridesmaids at your wedding can free up your schedule, reduce expenses, and eliminate potential sources of stress and drama. It allows you to prioritise your own needs and preferences, making the planning process more efficient and enjoyable.

Frequently asked questions