Who Should I Ask To Be My Bridesmaids?

Deciding on your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun parts of planning your wedding. While some brides opt for a mix of family and friends, others choose only family or only friends. There is no rule that the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen has to be equal, and you are not required to ask your sister-in-law, cousin, or someone you are not close to. The most important thing is to choose people who are supportive of your marriage and enthusiastic about your wedding. If you don't have many close friends, it is perfectly fine to skip having a bridal party altogether.

Family members vs friends

Deciding on your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun elements of planning your wedding. While it is an exciting part of the process, it can also be stressful.

Family Members

Asking family members to be bridesmaids is a popular choice. The pros of this option are that you are stuck with your family, so they are likely to be in your life for the long haul. This means that in years to come, you will probably still be in touch with everyone in your wedding photos. You can ask your sister, cousins, or other family members who are important to you. Asking family members only can also be a good way to avoid hurting friends' feelings.

However, a con of this option is that your family members might not be the only important people in your life. Not inviting friends might leave you feeling like your bridal party is incomplete.

Friends

Your girlfriends are likely to be the people you call first when you have good news or when you fight with your fiancé, so who better to stand with you when you tie the knot? A pro of this option is that you won't hurt the feelings of family members who aren't included.

On the other hand, a con is that you may not stay in touch with all of your bridesmaids in the future. If you decide to ask friends, you have to be ok with the possibility that you won't always be close to all of your bridesmaids.

A Mix of Family and Friends

This is a popular option, as it combines the best of both worlds. However, if a friend or family member is hurt that they weren't asked, you can't blame it on only asking family or friends.

Final Thoughts

When deciding who to ask, consider who you want to accompany you to your dress appointments, who you want to celebrate with at your bachelorette party, and who you want to be getting ready with on the morning of your wedding. Most importantly, who do you want to stand next to you at the altar?

Remember, it is an honour to be asked to be a bridesmaid, and it is a way to show your appreciation for the support of your favourite ladies. Ultimately, this is your big day, and you should do what feels right to you.

Who to ask first

Picking your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun elements of planning your wedding. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to choosing your bridal party, here are some tips and considerations to help you decide who to ask first:

Start with your closest friends and family:

Consider the people with whom you are closest, traditionally from within your immediate family and close friends' circles. Think about who has supported you through thick and thin and who you would want by your side as you celebrate this special day.

Choose those who are enthusiastic about your wedding:

Look for people who are excited about your marriage and enthusiastic about attending weddings. Their positive energy will add to the joy of your big day.

Consider a mix of family and friends:

You don't have to choose between family and friends; you can have a mix of both in your bridal party. This can help create a balance and ensure that no one's feelings are hurt by not being included.

Ask those who are 100% supportive of your marriage:

It is essential that your bridesmaids are fully on board with your union. Make sure they get along with your partner and are happy for both of you.

Think about the dynamics within your group:

Consider choosing bridesmaids who will get along well with each other and work together as a team. This will make the planning process and the event itself more enjoyable and memorable.

Don't feel pressured to ask certain individuals:

Remember, it is your day, and you get to choose who stands by your side. You are not obligated to ask someone just because they are your future sister-in-law, cousin, or someone you were a bridesmaid for. Focus on your relationship with the person and how well they fit the above criteria.

Take your time and don't rush the decision:

Give yourself at least 60 days after getting engaged to decide on your bridal party. This will allow you to thoughtfully consider your options and ensure you are making the right choices.

How many bridesmaids to have

Deciding on the number of bridesmaids to have for your wedding can be a tricky task, but it's important to remember that there is no right or wrong answer. The number of bridesmaids you choose is entirely up to you and your partner, and it should be based on who you want standing with you on your special day. Here are some factors to consider when deciding on the number of bridesmaids:

Personal Preference

You and your partner's preferences should be the primary consideration when deciding on the number of bridesmaids. Do you want a small, intimate wedding party or a larger celebration with more bridesmaids? It's your day, so choose what feels right for you.

Size of the Wedding

While the size of the wedding doesn't dictate the number of bridesmaids, it is still something to keep in mind. For example, if you have a small wedding venue, you may want to limit the number of bridesmaids to avoid overcrowding. On the other hand, a larger venue can accommodate more people, including a bigger wedding party.

Logistics and Budget

Having more bridesmaids means more opinions, schedules to coordinate, and expenses. Consider the logistical details and your budget when deciding on the number of bridesmaids. For example, if you plan on paying for hair and makeup, having more bridesmaids will increase the cost.

Average Number of Bridesmaids

According to sources, the average number of bridesmaids is between three and five. However, this is just an average, and you can have more or fewer bridesmaids depending on your preferences. Ultimately, the decision on how many bridesmaids to have is a personal one, and you should choose the number that feels right for you and your wedding.

Asking someone you're not close with

Asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a big deal, and it can be a tricky question when you're not close with the person in question. Here are some things to consider when deciding who to ask and how to go about it:

Who to Ask

Start by considering the people you are closest with. Traditionally, bridesmaids are chosen from within the bride's immediate family and close friends. If you don't have many close friends, you can also think about including extended family members or friends/coworkers you've grown close to in recent years and plan to keep in touch with. It's important to choose bridesmaids who are supportive of your marriage and enthusiastic about your wedding. You should also consider their other obligations and how much time and energy they will be able to dedicate to the role.

When to Ask

It is recommended that you ask your bridesmaids to be a part of your wedding as soon as possible, ideally between eight months to one year before the wedding date. This gives them enough time to make the necessary arrangements, such as getting their bridesmaid dress and planning any pre-wedding events. However, if your timeline is shorter, just give as much notice as possible.

How to Ask

There are many ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid, ranging from a simple phone call or in-person conversation to more elaborate gestures. Some ideas for asking someone you're not close with include:

• Sending them a card with a heartfelt message expressing your thoughts and feelings about your relationship and why you would like them to be a part of your special day.
• Giving them a small gift, such as a candle, a piece of jewellery, or a personalised mug, with a note popping the question.
• Inviting them to a casual get-together or dinner party with other potential bridesmaids and popping the question in a festive and celebratory way, perhaps with balloons, confetti, or a toast.
• Sending them a customised puzzle or scratch-off card that reveals the question when solved or scratched.
• Asking them in person during a one-on-one chat, perhaps over a glass of champagne or with a small keepsake gift as a token of your appreciation.

Asking someone who's not supportive of your marriage

Deciding on your bridesmaids is one of the most important and fun elements of wedding planning. While it's exciting to ask those closest to you to be your bridesmaids, it can be difficult to know how to approach someone who you want to include, but who hasn't been supportive of your marriage. Here are some tips on how to navigate this tricky situation:

Be Honest and Direct

It's important to be honest and direct when asking someone to be your bridesmaid, especially if they haven't been supportive of your marriage. Let them know how much their presence and support mean to you, and why you want them to be a part of your special day. Explain that their lack of support has been hurtful and that you hope they can put their differences aside to be there for you.

Choose Your Timing Wisely

Asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a big decision, and it's important to give them enough time to consider your request. It's recommended to ask your bridesmaids anywhere between eight months to a year before the wedding. However, in this case, you may want to give yourself even more time to have honest conversations and work through any issues.

Emphasize the Importance of Their Presence

Let the person know that their presence and support are invaluable to you, and that you want them to be a part of this important life event. Explain that their role as a bridesmaid is not just about the wedding day itself, but also about the planning process, celebrations, and shared memories leading up to the event.

Address Any Concerns or Hesitations

It's understandable if the person has hesitations or concerns about being a bridesmaid, especially if they haven't fully supported your marriage. Listen to their perspective and try to address their worries. For example, they may be worried about the time or financial commitment involved. Let them know that you understand their concerns and work together to find solutions or compromises.

Offer Alternatives

If the person is still hesitant or uncomfortable about being a bridesmaid, offer them alternative ways to be involved in your wedding. For example, they could do a reading during the ceremony, perform a song or play an instrument, or be part of the pre-wedding festivities, such as the bridal shower or bachelorette party. This way, they can still feel included and valued without the full commitment of being a bridesmaid.

Maintain Open Communication

Throughout this process, maintain open and honest communication with the person. Be understanding if they need time to process your request and be willing to answer any questions or concerns they may have. It's important to respect their decision, whatever it may be, and work towards preserving your friendship.

Frequently asked questions