Married Best Man: A Wedding Tradition Or Not?

The role of the best man is an important one, as they act as the groom's right-hand man and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding. While the role of the best man is often associated with planning the bachelor party, there are many other duties involved, such as providing moral support during the ring selection, leading the groomsmen, and serving as a witness when signing the marriage license. The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, and while it is common for the best man to be unmarried, there is no rule stating that they have to be. In fact, in some cultures, like Uganda, it is expected that the best man is married so that he can guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to choose a married man as the best man is entirely up to the groom, and there are no restrictions on who can fulfill this important role.

The best man doesn't have to be single

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding. His duties include planning the bachelor party, making sure the groomsmen's attire is ordered, organised, and to the couple's preferences, and delivering a speech at the reception. The best man is also responsible for holding the wedding rings until the couple's ring exchange and acting as a legal witness to the marriage by signing the marriage certificate.

In some cultures, the best man is expected to play a more significant role in guiding the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. For example, in Uganda, the best man is expected to be married himself and offer sound and tried-and-tested advice to the couple. In Eastern Orthodox weddings in Greece, the best man often takes on the role of the koumbaros, or religious sponsor, and participates in crowning the couple and circling the altar with them.

Ultimately, the best man is chosen based on his closeness to the groom, regardless of his marital status.

The groom's closest relative or friend is usually the best man

The role of the best man is an important one, and it is considered an honour to be selected. The groom usually chooses his best man from among his groomsmen, who are generally the groom's closest friends and relatives. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding.

The best man's duties include providing moral support during the ring selection, leading the groomsmen, planning the bachelor party, coordinating groomsmen attire, serving as a counsellor, and coordinating travel and accommodations for the groomsmen. The best man may also be responsible for holding the wedding rings during the ceremony, standing next to the groom, signing the marriage license as a witness, and giving a speech at the reception.

While it is common for the best man to be a close friend or relative of the groom, there is no requirement that he be unmarried. In fact, it is not uncommon for a groom to choose his father or a married brother as his best man. Ultimately, the most important factor is selecting someone who is close to the groom and who can be relied on to carry out the duties and responsibilities of the best man.

In some cultures, the role of the best man may include additional responsibilities and traditions. For example, in Zambia, the best man leads processions at the wedding and preliminary events, and is expected to give an outstanding dance performance on the wedding day. In Uganda, the best man is expected to be married and to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage.

The groom can have two best men

The groom can certainly have two best men if he wishes. This is a common choice for grooms who have two brothers, or if there are two grooms. However, it is important to ensure that the two chosen best men get along and can work well together, as they will likely be handling responsibilities as a team. Choosing two best men who don't know each other may cause tension within the wedding party.

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding. His duties include planning the bachelor party, ensuring the groomsmen's attire is ordered and organised, delivering a speech at the reception, and providing moral support during the ring selection. He also has the important job of keeping the wedding rings safe until they are needed for the ceremony.

In most modern Anglophone countries, the groom chooses the best man from among his closest friends and relatives. During the ceremony, the best man stands next to the groom, slightly behind him, as a clear display of support. The best man may also be called upon to act as a legal witness to the marriage and sign the marriage certificate.

In some cultures, the best man is expected to perform additional roles. For example, in Zambia, the best man leads processions at the wedding and preliminary events, and is expected to give an outstanding dance performance on the wedding day. In Uganda, the best man is usually married and is expected to guide the newlyweds in the ways of marriage. In Ukraine, the best man is responsible for guarding the bride during the festivities, and in the past, if she was "kidnapped", he had to pay a ransom for her return.

The best man's duties before the wedding

No, a best man does not have to be married. The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, such as a brother, father, or best friend, and can be married or unmarried.

Now, here are the best man's duties before the wedding:

Months Before the Wedding:

• Discuss the groom's expectations and duties.
• Begin planning the bachelor party, including setting a date and budget.
• Coordinate with groomsmen about attire fittings and purchases.
• Attend venue visits and tasting sessions.

One Month Before the Wedding:

• Send out bachelor party invitations.
• Confirm attire details for all groomsmen.
• Check in with the groom about last-minute preparations or changes.

Week Before the Wedding:

• Attend the wedding rehearsal and dinner.
• Inform the groomsmen of the wedding day schedule.
• Collect and keep the wedding rings safe.
• Host the bachelor party.

Day Before the Wedding:

• Double-check all attire details and ensure everything is clean and ready.
• Review the wedding day timeline and coordinate transportation.
• Offer support and encouragement to the groom.
• Assist the groom with any last-minute preparations.
• Ensure groomsmen are on time and appropriately dressed.

Day of the Wedding:

• Help the groom get dressed and with any last-minute tasks.
• Stand by the groom's side during the ceremony.
• Present the rings during the ceremony.
• Give the best man speech at the reception.
• Lead the dance floor and encourage guests to participate.
• Assist with logistics, such as coordinating with vendors or guiding guests.
• Help with cleanup or the return of rental items.

The best man also has a few post-wedding duties, such as checking in with the newlyweds after their honeymoon and helping to organise and safekeep gifts.

The best man's duties during the wedding

Being the best man at a wedding is a great honour and a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and go-to person throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. Here is a detailed list of the best man's duties during the wedding:

Before the Wedding

• Provide moral support during the ring selection process. Even before being officially asked to be the best man, the groom may ask for your help in selecting an engagement ring. It's important to give your honest opinion and be a voice of reason during this potentially stressful process.
• Lead the groomsmen: Introduce the groomsmen to each other if they don't already know each other and facilitate communication and coordination among them. This includes organising get-togethers and sharing important information via email or text.
• Shop for formalwear and coordinate purchases: Assist the groom in selecting the groomsmen's attire and ensure that each groomsman orders their attire on time. If renting or purchasing as a group, submit the order and collect payment from everyone. Don't forget about alterations!
• Serve as a counsellor and confidant: Wedding planning can be stressful, and the groom will rely on his best man for support and help with decision-making. Be prepared to be a supportive friend, even if wedding planning isn't your thing.
• Coordinate travel and accommodations: Ensure that all the groomsmen book their flights and hotels in a timely manner. Jump on any group discounts for accommodations that the couple may have arranged for out-of-town groomsmen.
• Plan the bachelor party: Organise the bachelor party with the help of the other groomsmen. Discuss the groom's preferences for location and type of celebration, as well as the schedules and budgets of the groomsmen.
• Attend pre-wedding events: Attend the engagement party, rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner. These events, especially the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, are important for familiarising yourself with your duties and bonding with the wedding party and the couple's families.
• Create an emergency kit: Prepare a kit with essential items like deodorant, bandages, tissues, pain relievers, a stain remover, a sewing kit, and an extra pair of socks and tie. Don't forget to bring cash in case of emergencies!

During the Wedding Ceremony

• Get dressed with the groom and groomsmen: Be a relaxed and upbeat presence on the morning of the wedding, especially if the groom is feeling nervous. Play music, offer refreshments, and play games or watch videos to help pass the time and keep everyone relaxed.
• Ensure the groomsmen are wearing their boutonnieres: Check that everyone's boutonniere is pinned on properly before they walk down the aisle.
• Try to keep things on schedule: Obtain a timeline of the day's events from the couple and help keep things running smoothly. Introduce yourself to the venue coordinator or wedding planner and offer your assistance.
• Hold the wedding rings until the ring exchange: If there is no ring bearer, the best man is typically responsible for safely holding onto the wedding bands until the couple is ready to exchange them. Keep the rings in a secure place, like an inner jacket pocket, and be aware of where they are at all times.
• Stand next to the groom during the ceremony: This is a clear display of your love and support for the groom. Stand up straight, pay attention, and smile! During the processional, the best man usually walks down the aisle solo, but during the recessional, he will likely be paired with the maid of honor.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness: The marriage license is crucial, as without it, the couple isn't legally married! The best man and maid of honor typically act as witnesses and sign the license after the ceremony.
• Pose for pictures: Be prepared to smile for the camera! The couple will be grateful for your cooperation in capturing these memorable moments.

During the Wedding Reception

• Stand next to the bride in the receiving line: If the couple has a receiving line during cocktail hour, the best man typically stands next to the bride and groom to greet arriving guests.
• Be announced with the maid of honor for the reception entrance: When the reception begins, the wedding party typically makes a grand entrance, with the best man and maid of honor entering together.
• Dance with the maid of honor during the first guest dance: It's traditional for the best man to dance with the maid of honor when the guests are invited to the dance floor. If you would prefer not to, just make sure you're one of the first people on the dance floor to encourage others to join. Be sure to dance with the bride, too!
• Make sure the groom eats and drinks: With all the excitement, the groom may forget to eat and stay hydrated, so it's the best man's job to remind him.
• Give a best man speech: One of the most important duties of the best man is to deliver a memorable and heartfelt speech during the reception. Speak from the heart, keep it short, and don't procrastinate on writing it!
• Decorate the getaway car: If the couple is using their own car, the best man and groomsmen traditionally have some fun decorating it with cans, streamers, etc. Just make sure to get the couple's permission first!

After the Wedding

• Help organise and safekeep gifts: Collect the gifts received during the wedding and keep them in a safe location until the couple returns from their honeymoon.
• Hand out vendor tips: The couple may ask the best man to distribute tips to the vendors after the reception. Ensure that the cash is organised into labelled envelopes and that you know who to give them to.
• Make sure groomsmen return rented attire: If you coordinated a group tuxedo rental, check that all the tuxes are returned on time to avoid late fees.

Frequently asked questions