Her Wedding Band: Her Choice?

While wedding traditions are ever-evolving, the woman typically helps pick out the wedding band, especially if the couple is sharing the cost of the rings. In the past, the groom was expected to select and purchase the rings. However, modern couples often make these decisions together, considering it an opportunity to strengthen their bond and jointly symbolise their commitment.

Nowadays, many couples pay for each other's bands or split the cost evenly. Some couples start a shared wedding bank account, while others stick to separate finances, with one person buying the engagement ring and the other buying both wedding bands.

Ultimately, the approach to choosing wedding bands depends on personal preferences.

Wedding band traditions

Wedding rings have been exchanged as a symbol of commitment between couples for centuries. The first evidence of this custom can be found in ancient Egyptian scrolls, where couples presented each other with braided rings made from materials such as hemp or reeds. As these materials were not long-lasting, they were eventually replaced with more durable substances like leather, bone, or ivory. The tradition of exchanging rings was also practised in ancient Rome, where grooms would present their brides with iron rings, which are considered the forerunners of modern metal wedding bands.

In the Middle Ages, the Christian church established the wedding ceremony, which is believed to be the origin of the tradition of exchanging both engagement and wedding rings. During this time, the groom would give the bride a second, church-sanctioned band. Rings were also engraved with inscriptions for the first time during this period.

In the 16th and 17th centuries, gimmel rings, which consisted of two interlocking bands, were popular. After their engagement, each member of the couple would wear one of the bands, and the groom would reunite the rings during the wedding ceremony. The bride would then wear the combined ring.

In the United States and many other cultures, it was traditionally only the woman who wore a wedding ring. However, during World War II, many servicemen began to wear wedding rings as a reminder of their wives while they were stationed overseas, and this tradition continued during the Korean War. After this, wedding ring sets for both men and women became more popular.

Today, wedding ring traditions vary. In some cultures, the groom or his family is expected to pay for the bride's ring, while the bride or her family pays for the groom's ring. However, in modern times, couples often discuss wedding expenses together and may choose to split the cost of the rings or purchase them with shared finances. Many couples also opt to choose their wedding bands together, selecting rings that represent their individual styles and preferences.

Modern approaches to buying wedding bands

Open Communication

The first step towards buying wedding bands is having an honest conversation about expectations, preferences, and finances. Discussing financial matters may not be the most enjoyable task, but it is crucial for couples to be transparent and align their expectations. This open dialogue helps prevent any negative feelings that may arise from making a significant joint financial investment.

Joint Decision-Making

More couples are choosing to make decisions about wedding expenses, including wedding bands, together as a team. This collaborative approach ensures that both individuals are comfortable with the financial arrangements and the chosen rings. It also allows for a more personalised selection of rings that reflects the unique style and dynamic of the couple.

Splitting Costs

In modern times, it is not uncommon for couples to split the cost of wedding bands evenly. This approach is especially relevant for couples who have already combined their finances or are sharing the expenses of the wedding. However, the split does not necessarily have to be equal and can be adjusted proportionally based on individual incomes, ensuring a fair contribution from both parties.

Individual Purchases

Some couples opt for each partner to purchase their own wedding band. This approach empowers each individual to choose a ring that aligns with their taste, lifestyle, and budget. It also adds an element of surprise and anticipation, as the rings remain unknown to the other partner until the wedding day.

Shared Wedding Account

For couples who prefer to maintain separate finances before marriage, a shared wedding account can be a practical solution. Both individuals can contribute to this dedicated account and use the funds specifically for wedding-related expenses, including the purchase of wedding bands.

Alternative Materials

With the rising cost of precious metals, modern couples are exploring alternative materials for their wedding bands. For example, instead of traditional gold or platinum, some couples may opt for more affordable options like tungsten, titanium, or lab-created diamonds. These alternatives allow couples to stay within their budget without compromising on the symbolism and aesthetic of the rings.

The pros of choosing wedding bands together

While some couples prefer to choose their wedding bands separately, there are several advantages to picking out the rings together. Here are some pros of choosing wedding bands together:

Strengthening the Bond

For many couples, choosing wedding bands together is an opportunity to strengthen their bond and make a joint decision that symbolizes their commitment to each other. It can be a fun and romantic experience that kicks off the wedding planning process.

Open Communication

Open communication about finances and expectations is essential for any couple. Discussing the purchase of wedding bands together can help ensure both individuals are comfortable with the decision and prevent any negative feelings that may arise from this significant financial investment.

A More Informed Decision

By choosing wedding bands together, couples can get a better idea of the ring that suits their partner's personality and style. Trying on different rings and styles can also be a great way to bond and make the process of planning their wedding less daunting.

Budget Management

Talking about budgets before shopping for rings is crucial to making an informed decision. Setting a budget helps prioritize the aspects of the ring that are most important, such as quality, design, or type of metal. Couples can decide to split the cost evenly or contribute proportionally based on their incomes.

A Special Experience

For some couples, the wedding band is a symbol of their love and commitment, and they want the experience of choosing it together to be just as special. It can be a fun and intimate occasion, especially if the engagement ring was a surprise.

A Practical Approach

Choosing wedding bands together allows couples to consider their lifestyle and day-to-day activities when selecting a ring. For those who work with their hands or play sports, a simple solid gold design or a low-profile ring might be more suitable.

In conclusion, while there is no right or wrong way to choose wedding bands, selecting them together can create a meaningful and memorable experience for couples as they embark on their journey towards matrimony.

Matching wedding bands

Firstly, you could opt for a matching set, where both rings are designed to complement each other. These can be simple, classic bands in the same style and metal, or more intricate designs featuring matching gemstones, textural techniques or engravings. You could also incorporate stylistic choices that create a symbolic connection between the rings, such as a matching gemstone or fingerprint engraving. These small details can hold a lot of meaning and make your rings unique to you as a couple.

Another option is to have completely customised rings. You can choose the type of metal, whether that be gold, platinum, tungsten or something more unique like meteorite or whiskey barrel wood. You can also add personal touches such as engravings, making them even more special. If you're looking for something simple, you may want to opt for a low-maintenance band without diamonds, which can be timeless and practical, especially if you lead an active lifestyle.

When it comes to purchasing the rings, there is no one "right" way to do it. While tradition may dictate that each person pays for the other's ring, modern couples often take a different approach. Some choose to split the cost, especially if they have combined finances or are paying for other wedding expenses together. Others may decide that one person buys both wedding bands, especially if they didn't purchase the engagement ring. Ultimately, it's important to have open communication and decide together what works best for you as a couple.

Financing wedding bands

Wedding bands can be a costly affair, and financing them is an important consideration for couples. While traditions surrounding the exchange of wedding bands have evolved, the financial burden remains a significant concern. Here are some tips and options for financing wedding bands:

• Open Communication: Discussing financial matters as a couple is crucial. Being open about expectations, preferences, and financial capabilities will ensure a smoother process. Couples should decide together how to finance their wedding bands, taking into account their unique circumstances.
• Traditional Approach: In a traditional wedding, the groom or the bride's family pays for the bride's ring, while the bride or her family covers the cost of the groom's ring. This tradition stems from the notion that each person pays for their other half's wedding band.
• Modern Alternatives: Modern couples often choose to split the cost of their wedding bands, especially if they have combined their finances or share other wedding expenses. It is important to note that contributions towards the cost of the bands do not have to be equal and can be proportional to individual incomes.
• Individual Purchase: Another option is for each individual to buy their own wedding band and their future spouse to buy theirs. This approach ensures fairness and equal contribution.
• Shared Wedding Account: Couples may opt to start a shared wedding bank account specifically for wedding expenses, including bands. This allows both individuals to contribute and spend from the same pot of money, fostering a sense of equality.
• Engagement Ring Consideration: If one person bought the engagement ring, which is typically a more expensive purchase, the other person might take on the responsibility of financing both wedding bands. This approach balances the financial burden between the couple.
• Financing Options: Some jewellers offer financing options, such as low-interest monthly payment plans or loans from financial institutions. These options allow couples to pay for the wedding bands over a more extended period, making the purchase more affordable.
• Matching Sets: Couples may consider purchasing matching wedding band sets, which often include the engagement ring and bands for both individuals. This option can be more cost-effective than buying individual rings and ensures stylistic synergy between the rings.
• Simple Bands: Instead of opting for diamond-studded or intricate designs, couples can choose simple, smooth metal bands. These traditional options are typically more affordable and can be a practical choice for those on a budget.
• Alternative Materials: To reduce costs, couples may consider alternative materials for their wedding bands. Recycled metals, lab-created diamonds, and gemstones can be more affordable options without compromising on style or sentiment.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to financing wedding bands. Each couple should assess their financial situation and decide on an arrangement that works best for them. Open communication and mutual agreement are key to ensuring a stress-free process and a memorable celebration.

Frequently asked questions