Best Man And Groomsman: What's The Difference?

The best man and groomsmen are both integral to the wedding party, but they have different roles and responsibilities. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for supporting the groom throughout the entire wedding planning process, from the engagement to the honeymoon. He is also in charge of the groomsmen, leading all communication and spearheading their activities and duties. Groomsmen, on the other hand, are close friends or family members who assist the groom on his special day and ensure the wedding runs smoothly. They have less demanding responsibilities, including directing guests to their seats, supporting the groom during the ceremony, and participating in pre-wedding activities. While the best man is the groom's go-to person for everything wedding-related, the groomsmen are there to support both the best man and the groom.

Best man vs groomsmen: What's the difference?

The groom's selection of a best man and groomsmen to assist him during the preparations for the wedding and on the big day is one of the most important decisions he will make. However, the distinction between the best man and the groomsmen is often unclear to many.

The Best Man

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and the most important person in the wedding party, aside from the groom himself. He is usually the groom's closest friend or relative and serves as his confidante and support system. The best man's responsibilities include:

• Planning the bachelor party
• Helping the groom get ready on the wedding day
• Holding onto the wedding rings
• Giving a speech at the reception
• Signing the marriage license as a witness
• Leading the groomsmen
• Acting as the groom's personal valet and logistics guru
• Ensuring the groomsmen are properly attired
• Maintaining the groom's composure on the big day

The Groomsmen

The groomsmen are also an essential part of the wedding party, but their responsibilities are less demanding than those of the best man. They are usually close friends or family members of the groom, selected to assist him on his special day. Their primary responsibilities include:

• Helping the best man plan the bachelor party
• Assisting the groom on the wedding day
• Escorting bridesmaids down the aisle
• Dancing with unaccompanied guests or bridesmaids
• Supporting the groom during the ceremony
• Directing guests to their seats before the ceremony
• Participating in pre-wedding activities like the bachelor party and rehearsal dinner

The Main Difference

The main difference between the best man and the groomsmen lies in the level of responsibility. The best man has more duties and is the groom's go-to person for everything related to the wedding, while the groomsmen are there to support both the best man and the groom. The best man leads the groomsmen and is the groom's second-in-command.

The best man's duties

The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is responsible for supporting the groom throughout the entire wedding planning process. Here is a list of duties that the best man should expect to perform:

Before the Wedding

• Assist with outfit details: Support the groom, groomsmen, and important family members with their wedding attire. This may include helping with final suit selections and putting together emergency kits for the groomsmen, including extra cufflinks, shoe polish, or an extra tie.
• Organise the bachelor party: The best man typically takes control of the schedule and any accommodations for the bachelor party. It is important to consult with the groom to host an event that aligns with his wishes.
• Coordinate the groom's gift: If the groomsmen decide to get a gift for the groom, the best man often leads the effort by collecting money and choosing the gift.
• Provide emotional support: Listen to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment and reassure him that everything will be okay.
• Be present for the rehearsal: The best man should attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with the couple, their families, and the rest of the wedding party. They may also make a small toast during the rehearsal dinner to kick off the festivities.

On the Wedding Day

• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: Ensure that everyone gets to the venue on time and help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the ceremony.
• Hold the wedding rings: The best man is entrusted with keeping the wedding rings safe until it is time to exchange vows.
• Stand beside the groom at the altar: During the processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom and takes their place standing closest to the groom at the altar.
• Sign the marriage license: The best man signs the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honor, and hands the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee.
• Act as an unofficial reception host: The best man should keep their eyes and ears open at the reception to ensure the newlyweds and guests are having a good time. They may also need to help guests find their seats and ensure the wedding party knows where they need to be.
• Give the best man speech: One of the biggest responsibilities of the best man is delivering a well-crafted speech during the reception, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Help collect gifts: The best man may be tasked with collecting gifts from guests and ensuring they are placed in the correct location, such as a card box, gift table, or locked room.

After the Wedding

• Decorate the getaway car: The best man may be asked to help coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds and decorate their getaway car.
• Tie up loose ends: This may include making sure vendors are tipped and paid, transporting gifts to the couple's home, and returning any rented attire.

The best man's expenses

The role of the best man at a wedding is to be the groom's right-hand man and the most important person in the wedding party. The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom, and he has several responsibilities and expenses to consider. Here are some common expenses that a best man may incur:

• Attire: The best man is typically responsible for renting or purchasing his wedding formalwear, which can include a tuxedo or a suit. He also coordinates the other groomsmen's ensembles, ensuring they match or complement the groom's attire.
• Bachelor Party: Planning and hosting the bachelor party is usually the responsibility of the best man. This can be a significant expense, depending on the activities and location. However, the cost is often shared among the participants, excluding the groom.
• Travel and Accommodations: The best man may need to budget for travel expenses such as transportation, hotel stays, and other related costs, especially if the wedding is in a different city or country.
• Wedding Gift: Although the role of the best man may already involve significant expenses, it is customary to purchase a wedding gift for the couple. To reduce costs, the best man can organise a group gift with the other groomsmen.
• Transportation: In some cases, the best man may be responsible for providing transportation for the couple, such as driving them to the reception, wedding-night hotel, or airport after the reception. Alternatively, the best man can hire transportation services for the couple and wedding party.
• Pre-wedding Events: The best man is expected to attend and participate in various pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, shower, rehearsal dinner, and ceremony rehearsal. These events may require additional expenses, such as gifts or contributions to group activities.
• Post-wedding Tasks: After the wedding, the best man may be asked to help with certain tasks, including tipping and paying vendors, transporting gifts, and returning any rented attire.
• Miscellaneous Expenses: There may be other smaller expenses incurred by the best man, such as purchasing accessories to complement the formalwear or contributing to the cost of decorating the couple's getaway car.

It is important to note that the role of the best man can vary depending on cultural and regional traditions, and open communication between the groom, best man, and groomsmen is essential to managing expectations and expenses.

What should the best man and groomsmen wear?

The best man and groomsmen's attire should be in line with the wedding's dress code and the formality of the event. It is customary for the best man and groomsmen to wear either a suit or a tuxedo, depending on what the groom has decided to wear. If the groom wears a tuxedo, the groomsmen should too, and the same goes for suits.

The best man's attire should complement the groom's without matching exactly or overshadowing it. For example, if the groom is wearing a white dinner jacket, the best man could wear black. If the groom has chosen a double-breasted coat, the best man might opt for a single-breasted style. The best man's outfit should be a younger sibling of the groom's, with subtle differences that set him apart from the other groomsmen. The key is continuity.

The groomsmen's attire should also complement the groom's, matching in formality and colour. If the groom is wearing a black suit, the groomsmen should wear black suits too. The groomsmen should also wear the same colour as each other, or at least colours that complement each other.

The best man and groomsmen should also wear boutonnieres that match the wedding theme or the groom's tie. Their ensembles should be coordinated with their accessories, such as ties, pocket squares, and shoes. The fabric and fit of their suits or tuxedos should be appropriate for the season and the wedding venue.

Best man vs groomsmen: Speeches and toasts

The best man and groomsmen have different roles and responsibilities in a wedding. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and the most important person in the wedding party, while the groomsmen are there to support the best man and the groom.

Best Man's Speech and Toast

The best man is traditionally the one who gives the main toast at the reception. It is his duty to give a memorable and heartfelt speech that honours the newlyweds and celebrates their love. He should introduce himself and his relationship with the groom, share a funny or touching story about the couple, and end with a toast to the newlyweds. The best man's speech should be kept appropriate for all ages and should avoid any embarrassing or inappropriate stories.

Groomsmen's Speech and Toast

Groomsmen may also be asked to give a speech or toast, but it is typically shorter and less formal than the best man's speech. They can share a personal anecdote or offer a few words of congratulations to the couple. It is important to remember that the focus should be on the newlyweds and not on themselves.

Other Differences Between Best Man and Groomsmen

In addition to their roles in giving speeches and toasts, the best man and groomsmen have other distinct responsibilities. The best man is in charge of planning the bachelor party, making sure the groomsmen are properly attired, and maintaining the groom's composure on the wedding day. He is also responsible for holding onto the wedding rings, signing the marriage license as a witness, and being the groom's confidante and support system.

On the other hand, the groomsmen's responsibilities include helping the best man plan the bachelor party, assisting the groom on the wedding day, escorting bridesmaids down the aisle, and dancing with bridesmaids during the reception. They are also expected to show up for pre-wedding activities and support the groom during the ceremony.

In terms of attire, the best man's suit or tuxedo should be slightly different from the groomsmen's to set him apart while still complementing the groom's attire. The groomsmen's attire should match the formality of the wedding and the groom's outfit.

Frequently asked questions