Who's Your Plus One? The Best Man's Guide To Bringing A Date To The Wedding

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour and a big responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is expected to help the groom with various tasks before, during, and after the wedding.

The best man is usually the groom's closest friend or relative and is often tasked with planning the bachelor party, giving a speech at the reception, and ensuring the groomsmen's attire is ordered and organised. He may also be responsible for holding the wedding rings, acting as a witness during the signing of the marriage license, and providing emotional support to the groom throughout the planning process.

In addition, the best man is expected to be a model wedding guest, RSVPing on time, reserving travel and accommodation, and attending pre-wedding events such as the rehearsal dinner. On the wedding day, he should help the groom get ready, greet guests, stand next to the groom during the ceremony, and dance with the maid of honour during the first guest dance.

Overall, the best man plays a crucial role in ensuring the groom's wedding day goes smoothly and is an important source of support and assistance throughout the entire wedding process.

Planning the bachelor party

Planning a bachelor party can be a stressful task, but with the right approach, it can be a fun and memorable experience for everyone involved. Here are some detailed instructions to help you plan an amazing bachelor party:

Initial Planning:

• Talk to the groom: Discuss the groom's preferences, including activities, location, and budget. It's important to respect his wishes and involve him in the planning process.
• Finalize the guest list: Include the groomsmen, the best man, and any other close friends and family members the groom wants to invite.
• Set a budget: Determine how much each person can contribute, including costs for travel, accommodation, food, and activities. The groom's expenses are typically covered by the group.
• Choose a date and location: Pick a date that works for the groom and most of the guests, preferably one to three months before the wedding. Select a location that aligns with the groom's interests and the planned activities.

Logistics and Reservations:

• Book travel and accommodations: Make reservations for flights, rental homes, or hotels, ensuring they are convenient for the group and within your budget.
• Make activity reservations: Reserve activities such as golf, camping, paintballing, or nightclub entries. Consider the group's interests and budget when choosing activities.
• Plan for food and drinks: Decide on dining options, including breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Consider catering services or dining out. Also, plan for alcohol, including beer, wine, and spirits, as well as non-alcoholic options.
• Transportation: Arrange transportation for the group, especially if drinking will be involved. Consider limo services or designated drivers for everyone's safety.

Final Preparations:

• Confirm attendance: Finalize the guest list and ensure everyone has confirmed their attendance.
• Check with vendors: Contact the vendors a few days before the party to confirm all reservations and arrangements.
• Buy food and drinks: Stock up on food and drinks, including any special requests or dietary requirements.
• Create an agenda: Prepare a rough schedule of activities to keep the party flowing smoothly.

During the Party:

• Stay organized: As the host, stay in control by not drinking too much and keeping track of the group. Ensure meals, activities, and drinks are paid for before leaving each venue.
• Communicate and engage: Socialize with the guests, help start conversations, and ensure everyone is having a good time.
• Stay safe: Prevent anyone from driving under the influence, and ensure guests don't wander off alone. Consider a buddy system for added safety.
• Handle any problems: Be prepared to deal with mishaps, arguments, or accidents. Assist guests who need help and ensure their safety.
• Pay attention to the groom: Ensure the groom is having a great time and respect his wishes throughout the party.

Remember, the key to a successful bachelor party is to make it all about the groom and ensure he has a memorable time with his closest friends and family.

Acting as the groom's right-hand man

Being the best man is an honour and a huge responsibility. You are one of the most important people in the bridal party and the groom's go-to person and confidant throughout the engagement and wedding.

• Provide moral support to the groom and be his emotional rock. Check in with him from time to time and keep an eye on how he is coping with the stress of wedding planning.
• Lead the groomsmen. It is your job to introduce the groomsmen to each other and to the groom if they don't already know each other. You will also need to keep them organised and informed.
• Shop for formalwear and coordinate the purchase. You will need to assist the groom in picking out everyone's formal wear and making sure that each groomsman orders their attire in a timely fashion. Don't forget about alterations!
• Serve as a counsellor and confidant to the groom. Help him make decisions and solve problems.
• Coordinate travel and accommodation for yourself and the groomsmen.
• Plan the bachelor party with the help of the other groomsmen. Talk to the groom in advance about the type of party he envisions and work with the groomsmen to plan a night or weekend that suits his style.
• Attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
• Create an emergency kit for the morning of the wedding. This could include essential toiletries, a sewing kit, an extra pair of socks and a tie.
• Get dressed with the other groomsmen and the groom on the morning of the wedding. Play music, and break out some beers or games to help everyone relax.
• Make sure the groomsmen are wearing their boutonnieres correctly.
• Try to keep things on schedule by asking the couple to provide you with a timeline of the day's events.
• Hold the wedding rings until the couple's ring exchange.
• Stand next to the groom during the ceremony as a display of your love and support.
• Deliver the officiant's payment after the ceremony if the newlyweds are too busy.
• Sign the marriage license as a witness.
• Pose for pictures with the couple and the wedding party.
• Stand next to the bride in the receiving line and greet guests as they enter during cocktail hour.
• Be announced with the maid of honour for the reception entrance.
• Dance with the maid of honour during the first guest dance.
• Make sure the groom eats and drinks and stays hydrated.
• Give a best man's speech.
• Decorate the getaway car with the other groomsmen if the couple is not hiring wedding transportation.
• Help organise and safekeep gifts and keep them in a safe location until the couple returns from their honeymoon.
• Hand out vendor tips and make sure all wedding-related expenses are handled.
• Make sure groomsmen return rented attire on time.
• Help the groom with any post-wedding admin, such as returning or dry-cleaning their outfit.

Keeping the wedding rings safe

One of the most important duties of the best man is to keep the wedding rings safe. Here are some tips to ensure the rings are secure:

Before the Wedding

It is not necessary to hand over the rings to the best man months or weeks before the wedding. The longer they are out of your possession, the greater the chance they could be misplaced. The night before the wedding, give the rings to the best man or another trusted individual. If you are concerned about the best man's reliability, consider giving the rings to the officiant or a family member instead.

During the Ceremony

The best man traditionally holds onto the rings before the ceremony and hands them to the officiant when called upon. If the best man is not the most reliable person for the job, an alternative option is to have a young relative, such as a nephew or cousin under the age of 10, act as the ring bearer and carry the rings down the aisle on a pillow. If you choose to go with this option, ensure the rings are securely fastened to the pillow to prevent them from falling off.

Another option is to give the ring bearer fake rings to carry, ensuring the real rings remain safe from being lost or damaged. If there is a maid of honor, another option is to have the best man hold the groom's ring, while the maid of honor holds the bride's ring.

Preventing Loss or Damage

To prevent the rings from being lost, consider keeping them in their original box or a ring box, which is easier to find and less likely to slip out of a pocket. Ask the best man to triple-check his pockets for holes before placing the rings inside.

If the rings are not placed in a box, be sure to securely fasten them to whatever the ring bearer is carrying. Additionally, it is advisable to insure the wedding rings to protect against loss or damage.

Other Considerations

If the bride is wearing an engagement ring, she will need to decide what to do with it during the ceremony. She can either wear it on her ring finger, move it to her right hand for safekeeping, or leave it at home. Traditionally, the wedding band should be the ring closest to the heart, so if the bride chooses to wear her engagement ring, she may need to adjust its position after the ceremony.

After the Wedding

Ensure the best man returns the rings to the newlyweds after the ceremony. If the couple is leaving for their honeymoon immediately, the best man may be asked to take care of the wedding attire, including the rings, until the couple returns.

Organising the groomsmen

Pre-Wedding Responsibilities:

• Assist with outfit details: The best man should help the groom and groomsmen select their wedding attire. This includes helping with suit selections, colours, styles, and whether to rent or buy. The best man may also create a group chat to facilitate communication and keep everyone organised.
• Organise the bachelor party: The best man typically takes the lead in planning the bachelor party, with support from the groomsmen. This involves working with the groom to determine the timing, location, guest list, and activities. The best man and groomsmen are also responsible for coordinating travel and accommodations and creating an itinerary.
• Coordinate gifts: If the groomsmen decide to give a gift to the groom, the best man often leads this effort by collecting money and choosing the gift.
• Provide emotional support: The best man should offer emotional support to the groom throughout the wedding planning process. This includes listening to the groom's concerns, providing reassurance, and helping to manage stress.
• Attend pre-wedding events: The best man and groomsmen are expected to attend pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, couples shower, bachelor party, and rehearsal dinner. The best man may also give a speech at the rehearsal dinner.

Wedding-Day Responsibilities:

• Keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule: The best man is responsible for ensuring that the groom and groomsmen arrive on time and are in the right place at the right time.
• Hold the wedding rings: The best man is typically entrusted with safekeeping the wedding rings and presenting them during the ceremony.
• Welcome and assist guests: The best man and groomsmen should greet and welcome guests, answer any questions, and direct them to their seats if needed.
• Sign the marriage license: The best man and maid of honour, as the groom's and bride's closest companions, typically serve as witnesses and sign the marriage license.
• Give a speech: The best man usually gives a speech during the reception, focusing on the newlyweds and their love story.
• Keep the reception moving: The best man is expected to mingle, dance, and ensure that guests are having a good time. They may also be called upon to emcee or make a toast if the DJ or band is running late.
• Collect and transport gifts: The best man may be tasked with collecting wedding gifts and transporting them to a safe location or the couple's home.

Post-Wedding Responsibilities:

• Return groomsmen outfits: The best man should ensure that rented tuxes or suits are returned on time and in good condition to avoid late fees.
• Check-in with vendors: The best man should confirm that all wedding-related expenses are settled before the couple leaves for their honeymoon.
• Coordinate and decorate the getaway car: The best man may be asked to help arrange car transportation for the newlyweds and decorate their car.

Giving a best man speech

Prepare in Advance

Giving a best man's speech can be nerve-wracking, especially if you're not used to public speaking. It's essential to start preparing a few weeks before the wedding. Brainstorm ideas, jot down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes you want to include, and create an outline to structure your speech.

Stay Sober

While it's natural to want to enjoy yourself and relax with a few drinks, it's important to stay sober when delivering your speech. You don't want to say something you'll regret later or slur your words. Save the celebrations for after your speech!

Express Gratitude

Begin your speech by thanking the people who made the day possible, including the couple's parents, and express your gratitude for their contribution to the wedding and for raising such wonderful people. Thank the guests for attending and celebrating this special day with the newlyweds.

Share a Meaningful Story

Share a story or anecdote that showcases the groom's positive qualities and how he and his spouse complement each other. Avoid controversial or embarrassing topics and inside jokes that only a few people will understand. Keep the story lighthearted, short, and focused on celebrating the couple.

Focus on the Couple

While it's common to include a story or two about your friendship with the groom, avoid making the entire speech about yourself and your relationship with him. Remember, the focus should be on celebrating the couple and their unique bond. Share your personal insights into their relationship and why you think they are perfect for each other.

Keep it Positive and Lighthearted

Avoid turning your speech into a roast or making jokes at the couple's expense. Instead, opt for good-natured humour and share heartfelt sentiments. Keep your speech positive and avoid negative comments about marriage, previous relationships, or adult humour.

Practice and Time Your Speech

Practise your speech aloud several times to refine your delivery and ensure it doesn't exceed the recommended length of 3-5 minutes. Practising will help you feel more confident and comfortable on the big day.

Be Yourself

Stay true to your personality and don't try to adopt a character or style that isn't authentic to you. Whether you're usually the comedian of the group or more sentimental, be yourself. The couple chose you as the best man because they appreciate your unique personality and perspective.

End with a Quote and a Toast

Conclude your speech with a meaningful quote about love or marriage and propose a toast to the happy couple, wishing them a lifetime of happiness and love.

Frequently asked questions