Deborah Chan
Bridesmaids are a common feature of weddings in many cultures, but does this include Jewish weddings? In short, it depends. While some sources state that bridesmaids are not part of Jewish history or culture, others state that they have seen bridesmaids at Jewish weddings. In Jewish ceremonies, the processional and recessional order is different from traditional Christian ceremonies. During the procession, the rabbi and/or cantor, the grandparents of the bride and groom, the groomsmen, the best man, the groom, the bridesmaids, the maid/matron of honour, and finally the bride all enter one by one. The bride and groom then stand under the chuppah, a canopy symbolizing the new home being built by the couple.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Bridesmaids | Not a traditional part of Jewish weddings, but increasingly common in liberal or progressive Jewish communities |
| Groomsmen | More common than bridesmaids, but not traditional |
| Best Man | Not traditional, but present in some weddings |
| Maid of Honour | Present in some weddings |
| Officiant | Must be Jewish |
| Witnesses | Must be Jewish if signing a ketubah |
| Chuppah | Wedding takes place under a chuppah (canopy), representing the couple's new home |
| Veil | The veiling ritual, or badeken, is performed before the ceremony in some Jewish weddings |
| Yichud | Couple spends time alone together before continuing wedding celebrations |
| Breaking the Glass | A custom with various interpretations, but often seen as a sombre moment |
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What You'll Learn
Bridesmaids are not a Jewish custom
Bridesmaids are not a traditional part of Jewish weddings. The idea of "attendants" is considered American and/or Christian in origin. In Jewish weddings, the bride and groom are traditionally escorted by their parents and close friends.
In Jewish culture, the wedding party enters in a specific order, with the rabbi and/or cantor entering first, followed by the grandparents of the bride and groom. The groomsmen and best man enter next, followed by the groom. The bridesmaids then walk down the aisle, followed by the maid of honor. This procession is reversed following the ceremony, with the men in the wedding party escorting the women.
While some sources state that bridesmaids are not part of Jewish weddings, others note that they have seen bridesmaids and groomsmen at weddings officiated by Orthodox rabbis. It is suggested that the concept of a bridal party can be explained by comparing the bride and groom to a king and queen, who have a "royal court" that attends them.
In liberal or progressive Jewish communities, it is becoming more common to modify traditions for the sake of egalitarianism or to accommodate same-gender couples. Ultimately, the decision to include bridesmaids and groomsmen in a Jewish wedding may depend on personal preferences and the level of religious observance.
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The bride stands to the right
In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, the bride stands to the right and the groom to the left—this is when facing the chuppah, or canopy, under which the ceremony takes place. This is the opposite of a traditional Christian ceremony, where the bride's side is on the left. The chuppah is a symbol of the new home being built by the couple when they marry. It is often placed outdoors under an open sky, with the canopy held up by four beams.
The wedding party enters in a specific order, with the rabbi and/or cantor going first, followed by the grandparents of the bride and then the groom's grandparents. The bride's grandparents are seated on the right, and the groom's on the left. Next come the groomsmen, best man, and groom, followed by the bridesmaids, maid/matron of honour, and finally, the bride. The bride is often escorted to the chuppah by both her mother and the groom's mother. The groom is escorted by both fathers.
In less religious or more secular weddings, the bridesmaids and groomsmen may walk down the aisle together in pairs. In progressive Jewish communities, the tradition is often adapted to be more egalitarian, or to suit same-gender couples. For instance, one adaptation sees the bride circle the groom three times, then the groom circles his bride, and then each circles each other.
The idea of bridesmaids and groomsmen is not a traditional part of Jewish weddings. It is a modern addition, borrowed from American or Christian customs. However, it is becoming more common in liberal or progressive Jewish communities, especially in the diaspora.
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The groom is escorted by his parents
In Jewish weddings, bridesmaids and groomsmen are not traditional, and the idea of "attendants" is largely American and/or Christian. However, the wedding party should be composed of people the couple can rely on and who support their relationship.
In a traditional Jewish wedding, the groom is escorted by his parents, with his father on the right and his mother on the left. The bride is on the right, and the groom is on the left, which is the opposite of a traditional Christian ceremony. Both sets of parents stand under the chuppah during the ceremony, alongside the bride, groom, and rabbi.
During the Jewish ceremony procession, the rabbi and/or cantor stand beneath the chuppah in the centre, followed by the grandparents of the bride and groom, who are seated in the first row on their respective sides. The groom, escorted by his parents, then enters, followed by the bridesmaids, maid/matron of honour, and finally, the bride.
In some Ashkenazi communities, the groom is escorted by both fathers, and the bride by both mothers, known as unterfirers ("ones who lead under" in Yiddish). The escorts may be any happily married couple if parents are unavailable or undesired. In other traditions, the bride and groom are accompanied by an entourage of "honor guards," a married couple who serve as their personal escorts.
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The chuppah symbolises a new home
In Jewish weddings, the bride stands to the right and the groom to the left (facing the chuppah), which is the opposite of traditional Christian ceremonies. The chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles, is a key feature of the wedding ceremony.
The chuppah's four open sides are significant, reflecting the Jewish concept of a home filled with chesed (acts of love) and hospitality, which the newly married couple is expected to embody. This modern interpretation is particularly relevant for interfaith and LGBTQ+ couples, reflecting their unique perspectives on love and marriage.
While the chuppah's symbolism has evolved, it remains a powerful symbol in Jewish weddings, representing the creation of a new home and the legal conclusion of the marriage process. The chuppah serves as a visual reminder of the couple's commitment to build a life together, rooted in love, equality, and hospitality.
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The officiant must be Jewish
Bridesmaids are not part of Jewish history or culture. The idea of bridesmaids and groomsmen is a distinctly American and/or Christian cultural practice. However, it is becoming increasingly common in modern times, especially in liberal Jewish denominations, for bridesmaids and groomsmen to be included in the wedding party.
In Jewish weddings, the rabbi and/or cantor typically leads the procession and stands under the chuppah (wedding canopy) in the centre, with the bride on the right and the groom on the left. Both sets of parents also stand under the chuppah during the ceremony.
The officiant at a Jewish wedding must be Jewish. If the couple chooses to sign a ketubah, the witnesses must also be Jewish. However, if there is a civil certificate, anyone can witness the signatures.
In less religious or more secular weddings, the bridesmaids and groomsmen may walk down the aisle together in pairs. In more orthodox Jewish weddings, bridesmaids will walk down the aisle one at a time before the bride, and groomsmen before the groom.
In Jewish culture, there are also shushbinin or shomrim, or close friends, who provide logistical and emotional support for the bride and groom. For Orthodox couples, the shomrim ensure that the couple does not see each other during the week leading up to the wedding, and they may also guard the door during yichud (the couple's first meal together).
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Frequently asked questions
Bridesmaids and groomsmen are not traditional parts of Jewish weddings. However, it is becoming increasingly common in liberal or progressive Jewish communities, especially in America and the diaspora, to include them.
The idea of bridesmaids and groomsmen is believed to have originated from Christian and pagan cultures. In pagan weddings, bridesmaids were meant to ward off evil spirits or protect against vengeful spirits.
In Jewish weddings, friends and family hold positions of honour, such as holding the chuppah poles or chanting the sheva b'rachot. The bride is escorted to the chuppah by both mothers, and the groom is escorted by both fathers.
