Should You Give Your Single Friends A Plus-One To Your Wedding?

When it comes to weddings, there are many factors to consider when creating your guest list. One of the most common questions couples ask is whether to give single friends a plus-one or a date. While there are no set rules, wedding etiquette suggests that it is courteous to allow single guests, especially those in the wedding party, to bring a plus-one so they don't feel awkward or left out. However, budget and space constraints may not always permit this. In such cases, it is advisable to handle this situation on a case-by-case basis, considering factors such as the guest's relationship status, their familiarity with other attendees, and the overall dynamics of the group.

Budgeting for extra guests

Understand the Impact of Guest Count

Start by understanding that the number of guests has a significant impact on your budget. Each additional guest means more expenses for food, drinks, invitations, favours, and rentals. This is usually a per-head cost, so the more guests you invite, the higher the cost.

Prioritize and Allocate Funds Accordingly

Sit down with your partner and decide on your priorities. What are the must-haves, and where can you cut costs? Allocate your budget accordingly, giving extra funds to areas that are most important to you. For example, if having a live band is a priority, you might allocate more money to music/entertainment and cut down on decorations.

Plan for Variable Costs

Some costs will vary depending on the number of guests, such as catering, drinks, and rentals. When budgeting for extra guests, be sure to account for these variable costs. Contact caterers and rental companies to get accurate quotes based on your expected guest count.

Consider Package Deals

When choosing a venue, catering, or other services, look for package deals that can help you save money. For example, some venues may offer all-inclusive packages that include catering, drinks, and rentals. This can often be more cost-effective than sourcing these services separately, especially when you are planning for extra guests.

Shop Around and Compare Prices

Don't settle for the first vendor you find. Shop around, compare prices, and look for vendors who offer the best value for your money. Wedding planning websites and search engines can be a great help in this regard. You can also ask for recommendations from friends and family or attend wedding conventions to meet local vendors and get an idea of their pricing.

Set a Maximum Budget and Stick to It

It's easy to get carried away when planning a wedding, but it's crucial to set a maximum budget and stick to it. Once you've allocated funds for different areas, including extra guests, try not to exceed your budget. If you find an area where you've spent less than expected, you can reallocate those funds to cover any overspending in other areas.

Be Flexible and Make Sacrifices

If you find that your budget is stretched too thin, be prepared to make some sacrifices. You might need to cut down on the number of guests, choose a less expensive venue, or opt for more affordable options for certain items. Remember, it's important to stay within your budget and avoid starting your married life with unnecessary debt.

By following these tips, you can effectively budget for extra guests at your wedding while still having the celebration of your dreams.

Etiquette for guests with a plus-one

If you are a wedding guest who has been granted a plus-one, there are certain behaviours and considerations to keep in mind. Firstly, if your invitation does not list a plus-one, you cannot bring a guest. While it may be tempting to ask the couple if you can bring someone, it is best to avoid doing so, as this can cause stress and awkwardness for both you and the couple.

If you do have a plus-one, be mindful when RSVPing. If your guest is named on the invitation, do not substitute them with someone else. If you are given a non-specific plus-one, use their name when submitting your RSVP. It is also important to only include a plus-one if their attendance is guaranteed. Planning a relationship months in advance can be difficult, but it is considerate to avoid RSVPing for a guest if you are uncertain of their attendance, as this could result in unnecessary costs for the couple.

When it comes to gifts, if you are bringing a guest, your gift should reflect that. If you are attending as two guests, it is appropriate to bring a gift that accounts for both of you. However, if your plus-one does not know the couple, you may not want to ask them to contribute to the gift. If your plus-one is a new partner, be sure to introduce them to the couple at some point during the reception.

It is also important to note that a plus-one typically refers to a date or romantic interest, rather than a friend. However, this may vary depending on the couple, and it is always best to check with them if you are unsure.

Plus-One Invitation Etiquette for Couples

When creating your guest list and deciding on plus-ones, it is important to consider your budget, the venue size, and the needs of your guests. While there are no set rules, there are some best practices to follow to make the process easier.

Traditionally, married, engaged, and cohabitating guests receive a plus-one. This also includes those in serious and long-term relationships. It is also courteous to extend a plus-one to members of the wedding party, as a token of appreciation for their time and support.

Other guests who may receive a plus-one include out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees, and single guests who will not know anyone at the wedding. If you are unable to accommodate a plus-one for every single guest, it is common to create an "A" list of guests who should absolutely receive a plus-one, and a "B" list of guests who will receive a plus-one if the budget allows.

When sending invitations, it is best to address the invitation to the primary guest and "invited guest", or include a plus-one note inside with the RSVP card. This helps to avoid any confusion and ensures that guests understand the invitation is for them and a date.

Seating Arrangements and Other Considerations

When planning seating arrangements, it is important to consider the personalities and relationships of your guests to avoid any unwanted drama. Try to seat guests or plus-ones away from others they may have issues with, to ensure a safe and stress-free celebration.

Additionally, be mindful of the cost implications of extra guests. Most areas of a wedding budget are affected by the number of guests, including food costs, bar expenses, and venue setup fees. Therefore, it is crucial to accurately track plus-ones to stay within your budget.

Finally, be prepared to respond to requests from guests who do not receive a plus-one but would like one. Have a kind but firm explanation ready, such as explaining that you would love to include everyone but your budget only allowed for close friends and family.

Inviting single friends without a plus-one

Weddings are expensive and it's not always feasible to allow all single guests to bring a plus-one. If you're unable to extend the invitation to your single friends' partners, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure your friends still have a great time.

Firstly, it's important to consider who your single friends will know at the wedding. If they're close with your family or have a circle of friends who will also be attending, they may not need a plus-one to feel comfortable. On the other hand, if they're a VIP guest who won't know many people, you might want to consider allowing them to bring a date so they can enjoy themselves and feel more at ease.

When it comes to seating arrangements, be mindful of where you place your single friends. Avoid seating them between couples, especially those who are overly affectionate. Instead, try to seat them with outgoing and friendly couples or other singles with similar interests, to encourage a communal feel and help them meet people organically.

If you're unable to offer a plus-one to all your single friends, be consistent. It's generally considered unfair to allow some singles to bring a date while denying others the same privilege. This can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.

Finally, be prepared to communicate your decision to your friends. If they ask about bringing a plus-one, explain your situation kindly and honestly. Let them know that you would have loved to accommodate their request but were unable to due to budget or space constraints. Most people will understand and appreciate your transparency.

Remember, the most important thing is to ensure your guests feel valued and welcomed at your wedding, whether they attend with a plus-one or not.

Addressing the invitations

If you are giving a guest a plus-one, write their name and then "and guest". If you are unsure of the relationship status of any of your guests, it is best to use "invited guest". If you are close to the guest, you may want to ask them the name of their plus-one so you can address the invitation to them personally. This is a thoughtful touch and the polite thing to do.

If you are not giving a guest a plus-one, address the invitation to them alone. If you are not giving any guests a plus-one, you could include a line such as "due to limited space, we are unable to offer a plus-one".

If you are giving some guests a plus-one and not others, it is best to deal with this on a case-by-case basis. You could also create an "A-list" and a "B-list". The A-list would consist of those who get a plus-one, and the B-list would be those who you would like to include if possible.

It is important to remember that there are no set rules, and every wedding is different. You should keep your budget and vision in mind when addressing invitations and offering plus-ones.

Seating arrangements

Once you have a sense of the space, you can start to group your guests according to how you know them: family members, high school friends, college friends, work friends, etc. You can also consider their ages, interests, and backgrounds. It's a good idea to group people with kids of a similar age, or those who have travelled to the wedding, for example. Absolutely avoid grouping people together who you know don't get along.

Next, decide on the shape of your tables. Rectangular tables can fit more people and it's easier to talk across them, but round tables are more traditional and give your guests more legroom.

Now you can start to decide where to place each person. The bride and groom should be seated centrally, either at a sweetheart table for just the couple, or with their wedding party and/or close family and friends. The wedding party can be seated together at a head table, or divided among several tables near the happy couple. The parents of the couple should be seated somewhere close, unless they are sitting with the newlyweds. If the parents don't get along, consider having two separate tables that are equally close to the head table, or seat them at opposite ends of a long rectangular table.

It's a good idea to ask the parents where they would like their friends or extended family to be seated. They will probably have a better idea of who gets on well and who doesn't.

When it comes to seating single guests, avoid creating a "singles table". Instead, intersperse single guests among couples, focusing on common interests rather than relationship status. Seat younger guests by the dance floor, and older guests a little further away from the music. Remember to leave extra space for wheelchairs, and if you have more than 10 children, consider having a kids' table, close to their parents.

Finally, when it comes to conveying table assignments, it's best to arrange guests' names in alphabetical order, so they can find their seats quickly.

Frequently asked questions