Miss Or Ms: Wedding Invitation Etiquette Explained

Wedding invitations are a tricky business. There are so many ways to address your guests, and it's important to get it right. The titles Miss, Ms., and Mrs. are all used to address women, but the correct usage of each title depends on age and marital status. Miss is typically used for young, unmarried women or girls under the age of 18, while Mrs. is reserved for married women. For all other women, Ms. is generally used. However, there are nuances to this. Ms. is often used when a woman's marital status is unknown, and it is also commonly used for divorced women or those who wish to keep their marital status private.

When to use 'Miss'

When to Use "Miss"

"Miss" is typically used to address young, unmarried women under a certain age. This age threshold can vary depending on the source and the region, but it generally falls between 16 and 30. For instance, some sources suggest that "Miss" is appropriate for girls under 18, while others extend this age limit to 21 or even 25.

The title "Miss" can also be used for unmarried women of any age, but it may start to feel slightly juvenile or immature for women above the age thresholds mentioned above. In such cases, it is more respectful to address them as "Ms." unless they express a preference for "Miss."

"Miss" is also commonly used for very elderly women who never married.

When addressing wedding invitations, the parents' names are usually included if the invitee is under 18. For example: "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Miss Jane."

When to use 'Ms'

When to use Ms:

The use of "Ms." as a title is a little more general and is a safe option when addressing a woman whose marital status is unknown. It is also used when you want to show respect without referring to or projecting their marital status. "Ms." is commonly used for women over the age of 18, 20, 25, or 30, depending on the source. It is also used for women who have kept their maiden name.

"Ms." is the female equivalent of "Mr." and can be used in any setting to refer to an adult woman. It is often used in business settings where marital status is not known or considered relevant. It is also used for divorced women, although this varies based on age and personal preference.

"Ms." is a safe option if you are unsure of a woman's marital status and want to avoid a social faux pas. It is also a good option if you want to respect a woman's privacy regarding her marital status.

Some women who are married may also prefer to be addressed as "Ms." instead of "Mrs." if they do not want to be defined by their marital status.

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, write the man's name first, followed by the woman's name and "Ms." For example, "Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe."

When to use 'Mrs'

When to use "Mrs.":

"Mrs." is used to address married women. It is also used to address widowers, depending on their preference. Traditionally, a widow retains her husband's name until she remarries, and can be addressed as "Mrs.".

"Mrs." is typically used for women who have changed their last name after marriage, indicating that they share the same last name as their husband (e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Wong"). However, a woman can choose to go by "Ms." if she prefers her title not to be associated with her marital status.

If you are addressing a married couple where both partners use the same last name, the general format is "Mr. and Mrs. [Partner's First Name] [Last Name]". For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith".

If you are addressing a married couple where each member uses a different last name, the format is "Mr. [First Name] [Last Name] and Mrs. [Partner's First Name] [Partner's Last Name]". For example, "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Lucy Smith".

When addressing envelopes, it is acceptable to place the woman's name before the man's name. For example, "Jane and John Kelly".

If you are unsure about someone's preferred title, it is best to ask them before addressing their invitation to avoid a social faux pas.

When the bride is keeping her maiden name

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, the bride's preferences should be prioritised. If she would like to include her first name on the envelope, she can do so. If she is keeping her maiden name, she has the option to go by "Ms." or "Mrs.".

Married Couple, Wife Keeping Maiden Name

For a formal wedding, the envelope can be addressed as follows:

Mr. Brian Freeman

Ms. Valerie Warrington

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

If a more modern and less formal style is preferred, the envelope can be addressed as:

Ms. Valerie Warrington and Mr. Brian Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Married Couple, Wife Keeping Maiden Name and Using Hyphenated Last Name

If the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name and hyphenate her married name, the envelope can be addressed using "Ms." or "Mrs.":

Mr. Brian Freeman

Mrs. Valerie Warrington-Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Unmarried Couple, Bride Keeping Maiden Name

For an unmarried couple living together, the names are written on separate lines without a conjoining "and", as this signifies marriage. The woman's name is typically written first, as is appropriate for social correspondence:

Ms. Valerie Warrington

Mr. Brian Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

For a more modern and less formal style, the envelope can be addressed as:

Ms. Valerie Warrington and Mr. Brian Freeman

612 Maple Lane

Fairhope, Alabama 36000

Single Bride Keeping Maiden Name

For a single female, the title "Ms." is used if she is over the age of 18. "Miss" is used for those under the age of 18.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Valerie Warrington"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Warrington" or "Valerie"

If the bride has been given a plus-one, the outer envelope remains the same, and the inner envelope can be addressed as:

"Ms. Warrington and guest" or "Valerie and guest"

Remember, these are just guidelines, and the most important thing is to respect the bride's preferences. Feel free to adapt these formats to fit her wishes and the style of your wedding.

When the bride is changing her last name

"Mrs." is the traditional title for a married woman and indicates that the woman shares the same last name as her husband (e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"). "Ms." is a more modern, gender-neutral title that does not indicate marital status and is therefore a neutral, catch-all title.

It is worth noting that the use of "Miss" or "Ms." can be regional. For example, one source states that they are based on the East Coast of the US and would use "Miss" for girls under the age of 18 and "Ms." for all other women, whereas another source states that they are based in California and would only use "Miss" for girls under the age of 16.

Ultimately, it is up to the individual which title they prefer and it is always best to ask someone their preferred title if you are unsure.

Frequently asked questions