Franklin Dean
The do you take this man part of a wedding is a traditional element of the ceremony, often referred to as the declaration of intent or vows. This is when the couple publicly expresses their commitment to each other, promising to love, honour, and cherish one another, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, and so on. This part of the ceremony is often legally required and is considered a sacred moment, with the greatest witness being God. The couple's vows can be personalised, but traditionally, the officiant asks each partner if they take the other as their lawfully wedded spouse, to which they respond, I do.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Officiant's question | Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part? |
| Bride's response | I do. |
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What You'll Learn
The officiant asks the bride's escort for their blessing
Traditionally, the person accompanying the bride down the aisle would almost always be her father or a male benefactor. When the bride arrives at the altar, the officiant may ask the escort for their blessing. This is sometimes known as the Declaration of Consent.
The officiant might say something like: "James and Peggy, do you support Sarah's wedding to John today?" This way, both of the bride's parents are included in the blessing.
The officiant could also ask: "Who gives this woman to be married to this man today?" The escort would then respond with something like: "Her mother and I do."
Alternatively, the officiant may ask the bride's escort directly: "Do you give your blessing for this marriage?"
The officiant may also ask the couple if they take each other as their lawfully wedded husband and wife. The couple would then respond with "I do" or "I will".
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The couple makes a declaration of intent
The declaration of intent is a legally required part of the wedding ceremony in most states. The traditional wording for the declaration of intent usually involves the officiant asking the couple questions to which they respond with "I do". Here are some examples of wording for the declaration of intent:
Example 1
Officiant to Groom: Do you, [Groom's name], take this woman, [Bride's name], to be your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in matrimony, to love and honour her, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?
Groom: I do.
Officiant to Bride: And do you, [Bride's name], take this man, [Groom's name], to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love and honour him, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?
Bride: I do.
Example 2
Officiant to Groom: [Groom's name], do you take [Bride's name] to be your husband/wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him/her, comfort him/her, honour and keep him/her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to share his/her thoughts, hopes and dreams; forsaking all others and to be faithful only to him/her, so long as you both shall live?
Groom: I do.
Officiant to Bride: [Bride's name], do you take [Groom's name] to be your husband/wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him/her, comfort him/her, honour and keep him/her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to share his/her thoughts, hopes and dreams; forsaking all others and to be faithful only to him/her, so long as you both shall live?
Bride: I do.
Example 3
Officiant to Groom: Do you, [Groom's name], take [Bride's name] to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Groom: I do.
Officiant to Bride: Do you, [Bride's name], take [Groom's name] to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, till death do you part?
Bride: I do.
Example 4
Officiant to Groom: [Groom's name], with all my love, I take you to be my wife/husband. I will love you through good and bad, through joy and sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. I promise I will be your equal partner in a loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live.
Groom: I do.
Officiant to Bride: [Bride's name], with all my love, I take you to be my wife/husband. I will love you through good and bad, through joy and sorrow. I will try to be understanding, and to trust in you completely. Together we will face all of life's experiences and share one another's dreams and goals. I promise I will be your equal partner in a loving, honest relationship, for as long as we both shall live.
Bride: I do.
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The couple expresses their vows of love and devotion
The bride and groom may choose to write their own vows, or they can opt for more traditional wording. In either case, the vows are a declaration of intent to be joined in marriage and to take each other as husband and wife.
The vows typically include a promise to love, honour, and cherish one another, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, and in good times and bad. The couple may also promise to be faithful to one another and to forsake all others. These vows are often made "until death do us part".
Bride: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
Groom: "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. I'll love you when we're rich, and when we're broke, and when we're fit, and when we're sick, and I'll love through good and bad, and I'll have and I'll hold, and I'll love my whole life, yes, I will take her as my wife!"
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The couple exchanges rings
The exchanging of rings is a significant part of the wedding ceremony, symbolizing the promises made by the couple to each other. The couple may choose to write their own vows to accompany the exchange, or they may prefer to stick to the traditional script.
The wedding officiant will usually begin by asking the groom: "Do you have a ring for [Bride]?" and "May I have the ring?". The groom will then turn to the bride and say:
> "I, [Groom], take you, [Bride], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
The bride will then take the groom's ring and place it on his finger. The officiant will then repeat the process with the bride, asking: "Do you have a ring for [Groom]?" and "May I have the ring?". The bride will then say:
> "I, [Bride], take you, [Groom], to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, I promise to love and cherish you."
The groom will then place the ring on the bride's finger, sealing their vows. The officiant may also offer a blessing for the rings, reminding the couple of the significance of their exchange:
> "Rings are very large in their significance. They are made of a precious metal and precious stone, and that reminds us that love is not cheap or common; but indeed, love is very costly and dear to us. These rings are also made in a circle, and their design tells us that we must keep love continuous throughout our whole lives, even as the circle has no end."
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The officiant pronounces the couple as husband and wife
The "'I do' moment" is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding ceremony. This is when the officiant pronounces the couple as husband and wife.
The officiant usually begins by asking the bride and groom a series of questions, to which they respond, "I do". This is known as the Declaration of Consent or the Declaration of Intent.
The questions asked by the officiant often include the couple's names and a statement of intent, such as:
> " [Name], do you take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded [wife/husband], to live together in matrimony, to love and honor her, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?"
The officiant may also ask the couple to confirm that they will fulfil these promises under all circumstances, forever.
After the couple has responded "I do" to these questions, the officiant can then pronounce them as husband and wife.
For example, the officiant could say:
> "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. [Name], you may now kiss your partner."
This moment is often followed by music, applause, and celebrations from the wedding guests.
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Frequently asked questions
The traditional wording for the declaration of intent is: "Do you, [name], take this man, [name], to be your lawfully wedded husband, to live together in matrimony, to love and honor him, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live, till death do you part?"
Some alternatives to the traditional declaration of intent include:
- "Do you take him and promise to do these things under all circumstances, forever?"
- " [Name], do you take [name] to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to share his thoughts, hopes and dreams; forsaking all others and to be faithful only to him, so long as you both shall live?"
- "I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."
The groom's response is typically "I do" or "I will".
Yes, the groom can add to his response by expressing his love and commitment, such as "Yes, I'll love her when we're fit and when we're sick, and when we're rich, and I will love her in a ditch, and I will love through good and bad, and I will love when glad or sad, and I will have, and I will hold."
"Do you take this man" is typically said by the wedding officiant or minister.
