George Boyle
Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife? is a phrase often used in wedding vows. The phrase is a declaration of commitment, promising to love, cherish, and honour one's spouse through all life's challenges, from sickness to health, poverty to wealth, and beyond. It is a sacred covenant, not only between the couple but also with God, and is legally binding. The weight of this vow is significant, and it is a commitment that should not be taken lightly. It is a promise to stand by each other and face life's joys and sorrows together, until death parts the couple.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Commitment | Until death do us part |
| Legal contract | Yes |
| Weight of commitment | Before God, family, friends, and society |
| Vows | To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish |
| Bride's vows | To obey and serve |
| Groom's role | Provider, protector, and procreator |
| Bride's role | Companion, helper, lover, nurturer, and partner in procreation |
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What You'll Learn
Love and devotion
The phrase "do you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife" is a traditional part of wedding vows. The full vow typically includes a promise to love and cherish one's spouse through various life circumstances, from sickness to health and from poverty to wealth. This phrase is a direct question from the officiant to the bride or groom, asking if they are willing to commit to their partner and accept them as their lawful spouse.
When an individual says, "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife," they are making a profound and weighty commitment. It is a promise to stand by their partner through all of life's challenges and joys, to provide for and protect them, and to be faithful until death. This vow is not just a promise to one's spouse but also a covenant with God, as marriage is considered a sacred institution by many religions.
The act of taking someone as one's "lawfully wedded husband/wife" also has legal implications. It creates a legal contract between the spouses, impacting areas such as taxes, medical decisions, and financial liabilities. It grants each spouse certain rights and responsibilities regarding their shared lives and assets.
In the context of "love and devotion," this phrase represents the foundation of a marriage built on love, commitment, and the willingness to devote oneself wholly to another person. It signifies a choice to be with one's partner through all of life's ups and downs, a promise to love, honour, and cherish them above all others, and a dedication to the growth and nurturing of their relationship.
The words "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife" are more than just a phrase; they are a pledge of lifelong devotion, a testament to the strength of love, and a reminder of the sacredness of the marriage bond.
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Better or worse
"For better or worse" is a phrase that is commonly included in wedding vows. It is a commitment to stick together through life's ups and downs, and to support each other through good times and bad.
When saying "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse", the speaker is promising to stay by their partner's side no matter what life throws their way. This could include financial hardship, emotional tolls, loss, and grieving. However, it is important to note that "for worse" does not mean enduring abuse, neglect, infidelity, or manipulation.
The phrase "for better or worse" is a reminder that marriage is not always going to be easy and that there will be challenging times. It is a pledge to work through those difficulties together and to remain committed to one another, even when things get tough. This part of the vow encourages couples to consider the realities of married life, which include both the good and the bad.
By including "for better or worse" in their vows, couples are acknowledging that their marriage will have its share of joys and sorrows, and they are promising to stand by each other through it all. It is a recognition that their love and commitment will be tested at times, and a promise to persevere and support each other no matter what challenges arise.
While the "for better" parts of marriage are often easier to imagine and discuss, it is also important for couples to consider what the "for worse" scenarios might look like for them. This could include infertility, financial difficulties, illness, or any number of life's challenges. By contemplating these possibilities before marriage, couples can enter into their commitment with a realistic understanding of the potential hardships they may face.
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Richer or poorer
The phrase "for richer, for poorer" is a well-known part of traditional wedding vows. It is a pledge to stay with one's spouse regardless of financial circumstances, whether they experience wealth or poverty. This phrase is often preceded by "for better, for worse" and followed by "in sickness and in health", further emphasising the couple's commitment to stick together through life's challenges and changes.
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my wedded [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy will; and I pledge to you my faithfulness.
> I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [lawfully wedded] husband/wife, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.
> I, [name], take you, [name], for my lawful [wife/husband], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.
The "for richer, for poorer" vow is a reminder that financial stability is not a guarantee and that couples should be prepared to support each other through financial highs and lows. It is a promise to stay committed and united, regardless of economic status. This aspect of the vow highlights the importance of mutual support and dedication in a marriage, recognising that financial circumstances can fluctuate over time.
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Sickness and health
The phrase "to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health" is a well-known part of traditional wedding vows. The phrase is a promise to stay committed to one's spouse through all of life's challenges and joys, including illness. This phrase is often followed by "until death do us part," further emphasising the seriousness and longevity of the commitment being made.
The specific words used in wedding vows can vary depending on the couple's preferences, religious beliefs, and cultural traditions. For example, in some religions, the declaration of vows symbolises the moment when a couple officially becomes one, and the wording may be prescribed by the religion's texts or traditions. In Hindu weddings, for instance, couples recite a set of vows known as saptapadi, or the Seven Steps, as they walk around a ring of fire to honour Agni, the Hindu god of fire.
When writing wedding vows, it is important to reflect on the seriousness and weight of the commitment being made. Couples should consider the meaning behind the words they choose and the reality of their lives together in the years to come. It can be helpful to reflect on shared moments, express love sincerely, and add personal touches to make the vows unique and meaningful.
- "I promise to care for you when you are sick and to support you through any health challenges we may face together."
- "In sickness and in health, I will be by your side, offering my love and support no matter what life brings our way."
- "I vow to be your partner in all things, to support and care for you through any illness or hardship we may encounter."
- "Through sickness and health, I will be your confidant and companion, offering my love, strength, and support."
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Faithfulness and honour
When a couple exchanges the wedding vows "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife", they are committing to a lifelong bond of faithfulness and honour. This traditional phrase is a solemn promise that encompasses a range of responsibilities and expectations, reflecting the weighty nature of the commitment being made.
The vow to "have and to hold" signifies a promise of faithfulness and exclusivity. It implies a commitment to be there for one's spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually, through all life's challenges and joys. "To have and to hold" suggests a promise of loyalty, indicating that one will not only possess their spouse in marriage but also protect, cherish, and uphold them through life's trials and triumphs.
The phrase "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health" underscores the couple's pledge to remain steadfast in their love and support, regardless of changing circumstances. It is a recognition that life will present a myriad of challenges, from financial difficulties to health crises, and a promise to honour their commitment through it all. This part of the vow highlights the practical aspects of marriage, acknowledging that there will be periods of abundance and scarcity, joy and sorrow, and a promise to endure these together.
Faithfulness is further emphasised in the vow "to love and to cherish". This phrase speaks to the emotional and romantic aspect of the marriage, promising not only sexual fidelity but also a commitment to nurture their love and treat each other with tenderness, respect, and devotion.
Finally, the vow "till death do us part" solemnises the promise of lifelong devotion. It signifies that the couple intends to honour their commitment until the end of their lives, accepting that only death can sever the bond they have formed.
In conclusion, when a couple pledges "I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband/wife", they are making a profound promise to love, honour, and cherish each other faithfully through all life's vicissitudes. It is a sacred vow that symbolises the couple's dedication to creating a lifelong partnership built on trust, loyalty, and mutual support.
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Frequently asked questions
The traditional wedding vows are: " [Name], do you take [name] to be your lawfully wedded [wife/husband]? Do you promise to love and cherish her/him, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her/him, for so long as you both shall live?"
The wedding vows as practised in most English-speaking countries derive from the Sarum rite of medieval England. The first part of the vows of the Sarum rite is given in Latin and is said by the priest "in linguam maternam", meaning "in the mother tongue" of those present.
There are several legal implications of marriage. Married couples typically file taxes together and may face the marriage penalty. In situations where one spouse's health is in jeopardy, hospitals usually look to the other spouse to make treatment decisions. You will likely be held responsible for each other's medical bills. When making changes to legal documents, you will need the signature of your spouse.
Christians view marriage as a covenant before God. Marriage is also seen as a way to refrain from sex outside of marriage.
