Deborah Chan
Wedding vows are a time-honoured tradition, where a couple pledges their commitment to one another. The phrase do you take [name] as your lawfully wedded wife is a common element in traditional wedding vows, where the groom promises to love, honour, and cherish his bride. This phrase is often followed by additional vows, such as for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and the promise to love and be faithful until death parts them. The specific wording may vary depending on cultural and religious backgrounds, but the essence remains the same - a sacred promise of lifelong dedication and love.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Question | Do you take [name] to be your lawfully wedded wife? |
| Answer | I do. |
| Question | Do you promise to love and cherish her, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for so long as you both shall live? |
| Answer | I do. |
| Question | Will you have [name] as your lawfully wedded wife, to live together in the covenant of matrimony? |
| Answer | I will. |
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What You'll Learn
Promises to love and cherish
The traditional wedding vows are a popular choice for couples. These vows are often repeated after the officiant and include the promise to "love and cherish" one's spouse. Here is an example of traditional wedding vows:
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband]. I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you, for so long as we both shall live."
The phrase "to love and cherish" is also found in traditional Christian wedding vows:
"In the name of God, I, [name], take you, [name], to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death."
Some couples may prefer to write their own vows or modify traditional vows to make them more personal. For instance, a groom might respond to the officiant's questions with a promise to "love through good and bad, whether happy or sad" and to "love her if I'm rich or if I'm poor."
In some cultures and religions, wedding vows may differ. For example, in traditional Reform Jewish weddings, the vow might be:
"Do you, [name], take [name] to be your wife/husband, promising to cherish and protect her/him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with her/him a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?"
Ultimately, the decision to use traditional vows or write personalised ones is a personal choice, and there are many ways to modify the vows to make them more meaningful to the couple.
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Forsaking all others
The phrase "forsaking all others" is a pivotal component of traditional Christian wedding vows. It signifies a profound and enduring commitment between two individuals, pledging to forsake all other relationships and romantic interests in favour of their union.
The words "forsaking all others" encapsulate the promise of exclusivity and loyalty in marriage. By reciting these words, the couple vows to set aside anyone else who might compete for their affection, time, or devotion. This includes not only romantic entanglements but also any associations or allegiances that could compromise their dedication to one another.
This phrase carries a profound significance, as it underscores the intentionality and seriousness of the commitment being made. It conveys a conscious decision to leave behind past relationships and enter into a new chapter where the spouse becomes the foremost priority. It is a symbolic act of closing the door on other potential partners, solidifying the bond between the couple and fostering a sense of security and trust in their union.
The concept of forsaking all others extends beyond physical fidelity. It encompasses emotional and spiritual fidelity as well. The promise implies a dedication to nurturing the relationship, fostering intimacy, and prioritising the spouse's emotional needs above all others. It signifies a willingness to invest time, energy, and effort into the marriage, ensuring that the bond remains strong and resilient.
Ultimately, "forsaking all others" serves as a powerful reminder of the exclusivity and depth of marital commitment. It underscores the sacredness of the union, where two individuals become one, leaving behind their former lives to embark on a shared journey of love, loyalty, and mutual support. This phrase is a cornerstone of the wedding vows, providing a foundation for the enduring partnership that marriage entails.
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In sickness and in health
"In sickness and in health" is a traditional phrase in wedding vows, promising to care for one another through any challenges or difficulties that life may bring. This phrase is a powerful commitment, acknowledging that life will bring both good and bad times and pledging to stand together through it all.
When saying "I take you to be my wedded wife/husband, in sickness and in health," you are making a profound promise to support and care for your partner physically, emotionally, and mentally, no matter what challenges arise. This could include illnesses, accidents, mental health struggles, or any other health-related issues that may impact your spouse.
This vow is a recognition that life is unpredictable, and there may be times when your partner needs your full support and care. It is a promise to stand by them, to be their rock, and to provide the necessary assistance and encouragement to get through difficult times. Whether it's a short-term illness or a long-term health battle, you are committing to be there, to love and support your spouse unconditionally.
Additionally, this vow also acknowledges that sickness and health can impact not just the individual but also the relationship. It recognizes that there may be times when the relationship itself is tested due to health issues, and the promise is to work through these challenges together, seeking solutions and support as a united front.
Ultimately, "in sickness and in health" is about loyalty, dedication, and unconditional love. It is a powerful statement of commitment, promising to be there for your spouse through all of life's ups and downs, providing care, support, and unwavering devotion. This phrase is a cornerstone of traditional wedding vows, reflecting the seriousness and depth of the promise being made between two people about to embark on a lifelong journey together.
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For richer or poorer
The phrase "for richer or poorer" is a common part of traditional wedding vows, and it is a promise that acknowledges and embraces the unpredictable nature of life. When saying these words, a couple pledges to stay together and support each other regardless of their financial situation. This vow signifies a commitment to face the challenges and uncertainties of life as a united front, whether they encounter financial prosperity or hardship.
"For richer or poorer" embodies the spirit of mutual support and solidarity in a marriage. It conveys the understanding that financial circumstances can fluctuate and that there may be periods of abundance and scarcity. By reciting these words, the couple expresses their willingness to navigate through these changes together, sharing the responsibilities and burdens that come with managing their financial affairs.
This vow also symbolizes trust and equality in the partnership. It signifies that both individuals are committed to contributing to their financial stability and well-being. Whether they are experiencing financial prosperity or facing economic challenges, they pledge to make decisions and sacrifices together, ensuring that their financial journey is traversed as a team.
In the context of the vow, "for richer" represents the hope and aspiration for financial abundance and success. It acknowledges that there may be periods of financial prosperity and that, during those times, the couple promises to remain grateful and appreciative, sharing their blessings and maintaining their commitment to each other. On the other hand, "for poorer" acknowledges the reality that financial struggles or difficult economic times may arise. This part of the vow signifies their pledge to stand strong during financial difficulties, making sacrifices and supporting each other emotionally and practically.
Ultimately, the phrase "for richer or poorer" in wedding vows reflects a couple's promise to embrace the financial ups and downs of life together. It symbolizes their dedication to mutual support, trust, and equality in their partnership, regardless of their economic status. By reciting these words, they affirm their commitment to facing the uncertainties of life as a united and resilient couple.
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Until death do us part
The phrase "until death do us part" is a powerful and poignant reminder of the seriousness and permanence of marriage. It is a commitment to stay together through thick and thin, for better or worse, until death separates the couple. This phrase is often included in wedding vows and is a solemn pledge that underscores the seriousness of the marriage covenant.
"Until death do us part" signifies a lifelong journey and a promise to love, honor, and cherish one another for a lifetime. It implies a level of devotion and dedication that transcends the challenges and trials that life may bring. By uttering these words, a couple pledges to stand by each other, come what may, and to foster a bond that endures through life's trials and triumphs.
In practical terms, "until death do us part" means weathering life's storms together. It means navigating through sickness and health, financial struggles, and emotional upheavals as a united front. It is a daily choice to put the relationship first and to work through conflicts and disagreements with love and respect. This phrase also carries a deeper significance, reminding couples of the fleeting nature of life and the importance of cherishing every moment together.
Saying "until death do us part" involves a level of trust and vulnerability that strengthens the marital bond. It encourages couples to build a safe and secure relationship, fostering an environment where they can share their deepest thoughts, dreams, and fears without fear of judgment or abandonment. This level of intimacy and emotional connection can provide a strong foundation for a fulfilling and lasting marriage.
Ultimately, "until death do us part" is more than just a phrase; it is a mindset and a way of life. It serves as a constant reminder of the depth of the commitment made on the wedding day and inspires couples to invest in their relationship, nurture their love, and create a lasting legacy together. These words set the tone for a marriage rooted in loyalty, endurance, and unwavering devotion.
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Frequently asked questions
"I, [name], take you, [name], to be my lawfully wedded [wife/husband]. I promise to love and cherish you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto you, for so long as we both shall live."
"As freely, [name], as God has given me life, I join my life with yours. Wherever you go, I will go; whatever you face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, come riches or poverty, I take you as my [husband/wife], and will give myself to no other."
Some examples include traditional Catholic, Protestant Christian, Reform Jewish, Conservative Jewish, Buddhist, and Greek Orthodox wedding vows. For example, traditional Reform Jewish wedding vows include the phrase "promising to cherish and protect her/him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with her/him a life hallowed by the faith of Israel."
The officiant typically leads the ceremony, prompts the couple to exchange their vows, and pronounces them as a married couple. In some cases, the officiant may also be responsible for signing the marriage license and ensuring compliance with local laws and regulations.
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