Staying Connected: Bridesmaids For Life

Being a bridesmaid is an honour and a chance to support a friend on their big day. However, it can also be a source of stress and anxiety, especially when it comes to choosing who will be part of the bridal party. This decision can be difficult and may involve hurt feelings, as it is often seen as a reflection of how important someone is to the bride. It is essential to handle this conversation with care and honesty to minimise any potential damage to friendships.

Once the bridal party is selected, there are still challenges to navigate, such as budget constraints and competing expectations. Clear and respectful communication is key to ensuring everyone is on the same page and that the bridesmaids feel valued and appreciated.

So, do you still talk to your bridesmaids after the wedding? The answer may depend on how well these challenges were handled during the planning process and how strong the relationships were to begin with. While some may drift apart, others may find that the shared experience brings them closer together.

The bride's expectations of the bridesmaids

Brides-to-be often face a difficult decision when it comes to selecting their bridesmaids. It is important to manage expectations on both sides, as the dynamics of a relationship can change over time.

Communication is Key

Clear and honest communication is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship with your bridesmaids. Be upfront about your expectations and listen to their concerns. Remember that their lives don't revolve around your wedding, so try to be flexible and avoid setting strict deadlines for responses.

Be Mindful of Schedules and Budgets

When planning pre-wedding events and activities, consider your bridesmaids' schedules and budgets. While it is reasonable to expect them to attend the wedding and rehearsal, demanding their presence at every event or appointment may be unrealistic. Be understanding if they can't make it to every event, and try to choose dates that work for everyone.

Choose Attire Mindfully

When selecting attire for your bridesmaids, be mindful of their budgets, body types, and comfort levels. While you may have a specific vision, try to be flexible and allow for some input from your bridesmaids. Remember that they will be purchasing their own attire, so choose something affordable and ensure they feel comfortable and confident.

Respect Their Time and Boundaries

It is important to respect your bridesmaids' time and boundaries. Avoid treating them like personal assistants, and refrain from inundating them with demands or tasks unrelated to the wedding. Remember that they are your family and friends, and you chose them because you love them and want them by your side on your special day.

Be Clear About Expectations

Be transparent about your expectations from the beginning to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings. However, be prepared to adjust your expectations if they are unreasonable or cause strain in your relationships. Remember that your bridesmaids are doing their best to support you, and clear communication will help ensure everyone is on the same page.

The bridesmaids' budget

Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. The cost of being a bridesmaid can be daunting and it's important to be aware of the financial strain that it could cause. Here are some tips for creating and sticking to a bridesmaid budget:

Discuss the Budget Before Making Plans

Budget discussions should happen as early as possible to avoid potential conflict or distress. Reach out privately to each bridesmaid to understand their financial situation and what they are comfortable spending. Be frank and to the point, and be honest and realistic about what things will cost and what your expectations are.

Keep the Conversation Open

Financial situations can change unexpectedly, so encourage your bridesmaids to keep the conversation open and let you know if they need to. Be understanding if a bridesmaid has to drop out of certain events or activities due to financial constraints. Remember that your friendship is more important than any photo opportunity.

Evaluate Your Financial Status Before Accepting the Role

Before accepting the role of a bridesmaid, evaluate your financial status and reflect on whether you can realistically afford the expenses. If you are unable to commit financially, it is okay to decline the role. There are other ways to celebrate the couple, such as sending a gift or participating in the wedding in another capacity.

Create a Personal Budget Early

Once you have an idea of the costs involved, set a budget and work it into your discretionary spending. When asked to be a bridesmaid, take time to create your own personal budget before committing and communicate this openly and honestly with the bride and bridal party.

Keep Your Money Organised

Use a spreadsheet or budgeting tools to keep track of your spending and prevent overspending. Name your savings accounts to encourage smarter spending, for example by creating a specific "bridesmaid budget" account.

Budget for Big-Ticket Items First

Some expenses are unavoidable, such as the dress, travel, and gifts. Budget for these first and then manage your money for smaller expenses. Get creative with ways to save money, such as buying a used dress or renting one.

Split Costs and Shop Sales

Split costs with the other bridesmaids wherever possible, and shop sales or deals for items like dresses, flights, and hotels.

The bachelorette party

Planning a bachelorette party can be tricky, especially if you want to be creative. Here are some ideas to make it a fun and memorable event for the bride and her friends:

Choose a Theme

Adding a theme to the bachelorette party is a great way to make it more fun and exciting. For example, a "Cowboy Disco" theme where everyone dresses up in rhinestones and cowboy boots, or a "Final Fiesta" theme with a build-your-own-taco bar, margaritas, and mini sombreros. If the party is close to Halloween, a "'Til Death Do Us Party" theme can be a fun way to celebrate the "death" of the bride's single days.

Location and Activities

The location of the bachelorette party is important, and it's ideal to choose somewhere that is easily accessible for all the guests, whether by flying or driving. Activities can include a mix of structured and free-time options to suit everyone's preferences. Here are some ideas:

• Winery or brewery hopping: A classic option, especially if there are vineyards nearby. It provides a classy experience with endless photo opportunities.
• Girls' night in: A cosy night in with wine, a rom-com, face masks, charcuterie boards, and games.
• Bachelorette cooking class: A fun and creative idea where the group can learn to make a new dish together.
• Scavenger hunt: This can be organised with pre-designed kits that can be customised to add a personal touch.
• Outdoor activities: For the adventurous group, hiking or camping can be a great way to bond and create lifelong memories.
• Joint bachelor and bachelorette party: If the bride and groom share a friend group, combining the parties can be a fun and modern twist on tradition.

Games and Decorations

Games and decorations add to the fun and help create a festive atmosphere. Here are some ideas:

• "Drink If" bachelorette party game: A simple drinking game where guests drink if they've done what's on the card.
• Bachelorette bingo: A great way to get everyone interacting and having fun.
• Disco ball cups: Add some sparkle to the party with these reusable disco ball cups.
• Jumbo "BRIDE" balloons: These giant white balloons that spell out "BRIDE" are an iconic addition to the decorations.
• Bachelorette party photo backdrop: A rose gold fringe backdrop for fun and glamorous photos.
• Retro disposable cameras: Bring back the classic look with film photos and give each bridesmaid a camera to capture the night from their perspective.

Food and Drinks

Food and drinks are an essential part of the bachelorette party. Here are some ideas to make it special:

• Cocktail bar: Set up a make-your-own cocktail bar with ingredients for signature drinks like Aperol Spritzes and Negronis.
• Charcuterie boards: A delicious and elegant option for guests to graze on throughout the night.
• Private chef dinner: Hire a private chef to cook a special dinner, perhaps themed around the honeymoon destination.
• Recovery station: For the morning after a late night, set up a recovery station with face masks, pain relievers, and hydrating drinks.

Remember, the most important thing is to focus on the people who will bring good energy and be excited to celebrate the bride. With a mix of creative themes, fun activities, and personalised details, the bachelorette party is sure to be a success!

The bridesmaids' availability

When choosing your bridesmaids, it is important to consider their availability and schedule. Asking them to fill out a questionnaire can be a great way to gather this information. Questions about their availability can include:

• What is your schedule/availability like in the months leading up to the wedding?
• Are you available to help with planning, attending fittings, setting up, etc.?
• Please list any scheduling conflicts that I should be aware of.
• What is the best way to get in contact with you?
• Are there any pre-wedding events you won't be able to attend?

It is also important to keep in mind that your bridesmaids have lives outside of your wedding. While it is exciting to plan your special day, try not to overwhelm your bridesmaids with excessive responsibilities and demands. Be mindful of their time and avoid setting deadlines for responses. Remember that their lives do not revolve around your wedding, and be flexible if they are unable to attend certain events.

The bridesmaids' dress and style

When it comes to the bridesmaids' dresses and style, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the theme of the wedding will dictate the overall style of the bridesmaid dresses. For example, a rustic wedding might call for earth tones such as soft tans, cheery apple, or deep emerald, while a beach wedding would be better suited to light and airy fabrics like chiffon or organza in bright and bold colours.

Secondly, the bride's personal style and the wedding party's personalities should be taken into account. The bride might prefer her bridesmaids to wear dresses similar to her own, or she might opt to let her bridesmaids express their unique personalities. A-line dresses are a popular choice as they flatter a variety of body types, while spaghetti straps are the most worn style among bridesmaids today.

It's also important to consider the opinions and comfort of the bridesmaids themselves. Factors such as body type, skin tone, and height should be taken into account to ensure that each bridesmaid feels comfortable and beautiful on the big day.

Lastly, logistics such as budget and timing should be considered. Traditionally, bridesmaids are responsible for buying their own dresses, so the cost of the dress is an important factor. Ordering bridesmaid dresses typically takes place six months before the wedding to allow time for shipping and alterations.

Frequently asked questions