Who Should Attend The Rehearsal Dinner?

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding event that usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. It is a special event where the couple can thank their wedding party and family members. The guest list is more exclusive than the wedding guest list and usually includes the wedding party, their plus-ones, and immediate family members. It is also common to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner as a way to thank them for travelling and to give them something to do the night before the wedding. However, it is not necessary to invite all out-of-town guests, especially if the wedding is a destination wedding, as this could result in a very large rehearsal dinner guest list.

Should bridesmaids' significant others be invited if they're travelling for the wedding?

The rehearsal dinner is a special event that usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. It is meant to thank the wedding party for their participation and support throughout the wedding preparations. While the guest list is more exclusive than other pre-wedding events, it typically includes the wedding party, their plus-ones or significant others, and immediate family members.

Now, when it comes to the question of whether bridesmaids' significant others should be invited if they are travelling for the wedding, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to understand that the rehearsal dinner is meant to be an opportunity to express gratitude towards those who have actively participated in the wedding preparations and will be part of the wedding ceremony. If a bridesmaid's significant other has been involved in the process and will be present at the ceremony, it would be appropriate to include them in the rehearsal dinner, especially if they are travelling for the wedding.

However, if the significant other has not been actively involved in the wedding preparations and is simply attending as a guest, their inclusion in the rehearsal dinner becomes less crucial. In this case, it may be more appropriate to invite them to other pre-wedding events such as a welcome cocktail hour or a dessert party, which are often organised for out-of-town guests.

Ultimately, the decision to invite bridesmaids' significant others to the rehearsal dinner, especially when they are travelling, depends on the couple's preferences, the size of the guest list, and the budget. It is worth noting that some people may consider it rude not to invite significant others, especially if they have travelled for the wedding. To avoid any potential discomfort or misunderstandings, it is recommended to communicate decisions regarding invitations clearly and in a timely manner.

What if the majority of guests are travelling for the wedding?

If the majority of your wedding guests are travelling for the wedding, it's a thoughtful gesture to include them in your pre-wedding celebrations. However, this can be tricky if you're working with a tight budget or limited venue capacity. Here are some tips to navigate this situation:

• It is generally expected that the wedding party, including bridesmaids and their significant others, are invited to the rehearsal dinner. If you're unable to accommodate all out-of-town guests, consider hosting a separate get-together for them, such as a welcome cocktail hour or a dessert party. This way, they have something to do the night before the wedding and can start getting to know each other.
• If your budget allows, consider inviting your entire bridal party, including bridesmaids and their plus-ones, to the rehearsal dinner. This ensures that everyone knows at least one person and that any guests travelling to attend the wedding have something to do the evening before.
• If you're unable to invite all out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner due to budget or space constraints, don't worry! It's not a requirement. Instead, focus on those closest to you, such as immediate family members, the wedding party, and the officiant.
• If you're having a destination wedding where everyone is travelling, you don't have to invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner. Instead, consider a more intimate gathering with just the wedding party, immediate family, and any other key participants in the ceremony.
• Remember, the rehearsal dinner is different from a wedding welcome party. You may have to make tough decisions about who to invite, especially if you have a large number of out-of-town guests. It's generally recommended to keep the guest list limited to those actively involved in the ceremony and their plus-ones.
• If you're concerned about budget constraints, consider opting for a more casual or low-key rehearsal dinner. Instead of a formal sit-down dinner, you could host cocktails and desserts, or even a rolling reception where guests can come and go as they please.
• When deciding on the guest list, prioritize those who have actively participated in the wedding preparations, are part of the wedding party, or will be presiding at the wedding, such as the officiant. You don't need to invite guests who aren't directly involved with the ceremony or attending as the plus-one of someone in the wedding party.
• Finally, don't forget to send out invitations to your rehearsal dinner with enough notice. A super casual email or digital invite is common, but ensure guests can easily RSVP so you can plan the dinner details accordingly.

What if the bridesmaid's partner is unfamiliar with other guests?

It is generally considered rude not to invite the partners of bridesmaids to the rehearsal dinner. However, there may be valid reasons for not doing so, such as limited space or budget constraints. If the bridesmaid's partner is unfamiliar with the other guests, it is understandable that they might feel uncomfortable attending the dinner alone. Here are some options to consider in this situation:

• The bridesmaid could politely decline the invitation to the rehearsal dinner and spend time with their partner instead, especially if they have travelled from out of town. This option may be suitable if the bridesmaid feels that their presence at the dinner is not essential and that their partner's company takes priority.
• The bridesmaid could attend the rehearsal and skip the dinner. This option allows the bridesmaid to fulfil their duties while also spending time with their partner. However, it is important to consider the couple's expectations and whether declining the dinner invitation would cause any friction or disappointment.
• The bridesmaid could suggest an alternative arrangement to the couple, such as a separate gathering for partners or out-of-town guests. This could be a casual get-together for drinks or dessert after the rehearsal dinner. This option allows the bridesmaid to attend the main event while also ensuring their partner has an opportunity to socialise and feel included.
• The couple could choose a more inclusive venue or arrangement for the rehearsal dinner, taking into account the presence of partners or out-of-town guests. This could mean selecting a larger venue or opting for a less formal event, such as a backyard BBQ or a cocktail hour. This option promotes a more relaxed atmosphere and facilitates mingling between guests who may not know each other.
• The couple could provide clear and timely communication about the rehearsal dinner arrangements, including the dress code and itinerary. This information can help guests feel more comfortable and better prepared, especially if they are unfamiliar with the other attendees.

Ultimately, the decision to invite the partners of bridesmaids to the rehearsal dinner rests with the couple, taking into account their budget, venue constraints, and personal preferences. It is important to handle the situation with sensitivity and flexibility, ensuring that guests feel valued and accommodated as much as possible.

What if the bridesmaid's partner is in the wedding?

If the bridesmaid's partner is in the wedding, it is likely that they will be sitting together at the reception and involved in many of the same pre-wedding events, such as the bachelor/bachelorette party and rehearsal dinner. In this case, their invitation to the rehearsal dinner is a no-brainer, as they are part of the wedding ceremony and can offer support to the bride or groom.

However, it is important to note that the final guest list for the rehearsal dinner is at the discretion of the couple. While it is generally considered rude not to invite the significant others of the wedding party, there may be limitations due to budget or venue capacity. If the couple has decided not to invite any plus-ones, it may be acceptable to decline the invitation and spend time with your partner instead, especially if you have travelled to the wedding from out of town.

If you are unsure about what to do, it is best to have an open and honest conversation with the couple. Let them know that you are grateful for the invitation but explain your concerns about leaving your partner alone. They may be understanding of your situation and accommodate your partner, or you may decide to politely decline the invitation and spend time with your partner instead. Ultimately, the decision is yours, and you should do what feels most comfortable for you and your partner.

What if the bridesmaid's partner is a groomsman?

The rehearsal dinner is a special event that usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. The guest list is more exclusive than other pre-wedding events, and typically includes the wedding party and their plus-ones or significant others. This includes the maid or matron of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, readers, ushers, officiant, and their spouses or partners.

Now, what if the bridesmaid's partner is a groomsman? Well, in this case, it's important to consider the dynamics of the wedding party and ensure that everyone feels included. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

• Communication is key: It's important to communicate with the couple, the wedding party, and their partners to understand their preferences and ensure everyone is on the same page. The couple might have specific ideas about the rehearsal dinner and it's important to respect their wishes while also considering the comfort of the wedding party and their partners.
• Consider the group dynamics: Think about how the wedding party and their partners will interact and ensure that everyone feels included. This might involve mixing up the traditional gender segregation of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Terms like "bride's companions" and "groom's companions" can be used instead, or simply refer to everyone as the "wedding party."
• Be mindful of pre-wedding events: Bridal showers, bachelor parties, and bachelorette parties are traditionally gender-segregated events. In this case, consider deviating from tradition and planning inclusive events that everyone can enjoy. Combining the bachelor and bachelorette parties, for example, can be a great way to include everyone and create a fun, mixed-gender celebration.
• Outfit choices: Choosing outfits for a mixed-gender wedding party can be challenging. One option is to let everyone wear what they want, as long as it matches the color scheme. Alternatively, you can still have a cohesive look by renting smart, fitted suits for female groomsmen or having male bridesmaids accessorize with ties and pocket squares that match the bridesmaids' dresses.
• Walking down the aisle: There is no need to worry about how mixed-gender pairs will walk up the aisle during the recessional. Keep it casual and have them walk next to each other, or even dance out of the ceremony to some upbeat music!

Remember, the most important thing is to include the people closest to the couple in the wedding party, regardless of gender. With a little creativity and flexibility, you can ensure that everyone feels included and celebrated during the rehearsal dinner and the wedding itself.

Frequently asked questions