Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Spouses Of Wedding Party

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding celebration traditionally hosted by the groom's parents, which takes place the day before the wedding. The guest list for this event can be tricky, and opinions vary on whether wedding party plus-ones should be invited. Some argue that it's a must, while others believe that the plus-one option only needs to apply to the actual wedding day. Factors such as budget and venue capacity also play a role in the decision. Ultimately, it's up to the couple to decide, but clear communication is key to avoiding hurt feelings.

Wedding party members' plus-ones

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding celebration traditionally hosted by the groom's parents. It is a great way to kick off the festivities before the wedding. The guest list for this event can be tricky, but here are some tips to help you decide who to invite, specifically focusing on wedding party members' plus-ones.

Firstly, it is important to note that anyone who is part of the wedding ceremony should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This includes the wedding party, such as the maid or matron of honour, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen. Plus-ones of wedding party members are also typically invited. Etiquette experts suggest that if a bridal party member is invited to the wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring that date to the rehearsal dinner.

However, there is no clear-cut rule, and sometimes plus-ones are not included due to venue capacity or budget constraints. If you are unable to accommodate plus-ones, it is important to communicate this clearly and be prepared to answer any questions from your wedding party members. One way to do this is by only including the names of invited guests on the invitation envelopes, without adding "and guest".

If you have the space and budget, it is a nice gesture to give your entire bridal party the option of bringing a plus-one, even if they are not married or in a serious relationship. This ensures that everyone at the rehearsal dinner knows someone and that any plus-ones who are travelling to attend the wedding have something to do the evening before.

Some couples choose to draw a line, only allowing plus-ones if the wedding party member is married or engaged. Alternatively, you may decide to make an exception if you particularly want a friend to feel welcome. Ultimately, the decision depends on your personal preferences, budget, and the size of your venue.

If you are unable to include all plus-ones at the rehearsal dinner, you could offer a compromise by sending a token of appreciation to the invited person and a note expressing your excitement to share your wedding day with them. You could also invite them to a post-wedding after-party or a next-morning brunch.

Budget and venue limitations

When creating your guest list, it's important to prioritize those who are essential, such as the wedding party, immediate family, and officiant. If your budget and venue space allow, you may consider inviting plus-ones, out-of-town guests, or extended family members. However, it's not necessary to invite everyone to the rehearsal dinner, especially if you have a large wedding or are on a tight budget.

To stay within your budget, you can opt for a more casual event, choose cost-effective food options, or consider alternative venues, such as a restaurant with private rooms or a loved one's backyard. Remember, the rehearsal dinner is about spending quality time with your loved ones and doesn't have to be extravagant.

Additionally, it's worth noting that the groom's parents traditionally host and pay for the rehearsal dinner. However, modern couples may choose to plan and fund this event themselves or collaborate with the groom's parents. Open communication about expectations and budgets is crucial to ensuring a smooth planning process.

Etiquette and expectations

The rehearsal dinner is a pre-wedding celebration traditionally hosted by the groom's parents on the eve of the wedding. It is an intimate gathering of the couple's closest family and friends, and the guest list can be tricky to navigate. Here are some etiquette tips and expectations to consider when deciding whether to invite wedding party spouses to the rehearsal dinner:

Wedding Party Spouses

Traditionally, all wedding party members, including the maid/matron of honour, best man, bridesmaids, and groomsmen, are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Etiquette experts suggest that their spouses or plus-ones should also be included, especially if the bridal party member is invited to the wedding with a date. It is seen as a way to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable, and it is a chance for couples to celebrate together before the wedding.

Budget and Venue Constraints

However, there may be times when including plus-ones is not feasible due to budget or venue constraints. In such cases, it is generally acceptable to exclude them, but clear communication is key. Be transparent about the limitations and set clear lines on who is and isn't included to avoid hurt feelings. You may also offer a compromise, such as inviting them to a post-wedding celebration or sending a token of appreciation to the invited person and their partner.

Out-of-Town Guests

If there are out-of-town guests attending the wedding, it is customary to invite them to the rehearsal dinner as a thoughtful gesture. However, if the majority of guests are travelling, you may choose to organise a separate welcome celebration, such as cocktails or a dessert party, instead of including them in the rehearsal dinner.

Immediate Family Members

The couple's immediate family members, including parents, grandparents, and siblings, are typically invited to the rehearsal dinner. Stepparents and siblings' plus-ones should also be included. This dinner provides an opportunity for quality family time before the big day, when it might be challenging to spend as much time with them.

Officiant and Wedding Participants

The wedding officiant, along with their spouse or plus-one, is usually invited to the rehearsal dinner as they play a significant role in both the rehearsal and the wedding day. Any other participants in the wedding ceremony, such as readers, ushers, flower girls, and ring bearers, are also commonly included in the guest list for the rehearsal dinner.

In conclusion, while there is no one-size-fits-all answer, the rehearsal dinner is typically a more intimate gathering that includes the wedding party, their spouses or plus-ones, immediate family members, the officiant, and sometimes out-of-town guests. Clear communication, consideration of budget and venue constraints, and a willingness to compromise are key to navigating the guest list etiquette for this pre-wedding celebration.

Inviting out-of-towners

When it comes to your wedding, there are a lot of things to consider—from the guest list to the food and everything in between. And that's just for the big day! There are also pre-wedding events to plan, like the rehearsal dinner. This is a more exclusive event, usually taking place a day or two before the wedding, and is a chance for the couple to get together with their closest friends and family.

If you're having a destination wedding, it's customary to invite all your guests to the rehearsal dinner as they've travelled so far to celebrate with you. However, if your wedding is in your hometown and only a handful of guests are travelling, it's a thoughtful gesture to include them in the rehearsal dinner. If you're unable to accommodate all out-of-towners, you could organise a separate get-together for dessert and drinks after the rehearsal dinner, or a welcome party later in the evening. A rolling reception, where guests can come and go as they please, is also a great way to welcome out-of-towners and make them feel comfortable, especially if they've had a long day of travel.

If you're inviting out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner, it's a good idea to seat them together so they can have fun celebrating and raising a glass together. It's also a nice gesture to make a toast to thank your guests and pay special attention to those who have travelled a long distance to be with you.

Alternatives to a formal rehearsal dinner

A rehearsal dinner is typically held the night before a wedding as a thank-you gesture to the wedding party for attending the rehearsal. However, it is not mandatory to host a formal rehearsal dinner. Here are some alternative ways to celebrate and spend quality time with your loved ones:

Host a Brunch

A rehearsal brunch is a perfect way to celebrate the day before the wedding. You can have the rehearsal before or after the brunch. It is a more cost-effective option if you want to invite out-of-town guests, and it gives you a chance to mingle with guests before the wedding chaos.

Backyard BBQ

Throwing a casual backyard barbecue is an excellent way to invite everyone coming from out of town without the hassle and expense of a restaurant. Keep it relaxed or lively by inviting as many people as you want. You can even incorporate live music, yard games, and other fun activities. Just make sure not to outshine your wedding the next day!

Picnic in the Park

If you don't have a backyard, take your wedding party to a nearby park and lay out a spread of charcuterie, sandwiches, and juice boxes. Depending on local regulations, you might even include a flask or two. This is a great option to cut costs and enjoy the outdoors.

Plan a Group Activity

Instead of a formal dinner, plan a group outing such as bowling, ax-throwing, or a movie night. This is especially fun if you're having a destination wedding, as it gives your guests a chance to explore and enjoy some sightseeing.

Wine Tasting

Host an intimate wine tasting at a local wine shop or your home. Include some tasty appetizers, like cheese or other snacks. This is a great way to switch things up and offer a unique experience to your wedding party. You can even gift them a bottle of wine each as a thank-you present.

Pizza Party

Whether it's at a local pizza restaurant or your home, a pizza party is always a fun option. You can also opt for take-and-bake pizzas or pizza delivery for a more relaxed vibe. Turn on some music or hire a local band to make it a memorable pre-wedding celebration.

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