Lyla Dejesus
Wedding toasts and speeches are a key part of a wedding reception. They give guests an insight into the couple and their relationship and are a chance for the hosts and the couple to thank everyone for attending. While there is a specific order for traditional wedding speeches, couples may choose to switch up the order depending on their personal preferences. The timing of wedding toasts is also important, and there are several options to consider.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Ideal time for wedding toasts | Before dinner, during dinner, or at the end of the meal |
| Who gives the first toast? | Traditionally, the father of the bride |
| Who gives the other toasts? | The groom's family, the maid of honor, and the best man |
| Advantages of toasts before dinner | Guests are fresh and attentive; toasting wine is already poured; guests won't be hungry |
| Advantages of toasts during dinner | People are already seated and paying attention; saves time |
| Advantages of toasts after dinner | Speechmakers can enjoy the reception after their address; guests are fed and happy |
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What You'll Learn
Toasts at the start of the meal
There are many different ways to structure a wedding reception, and the timing of toasts and speeches is a key part of this. While some sources suggest that toasts typically happen towards the end of the meal or after dinner, others recommend toasts at the start of the meal.
One reason to opt for toasts at the beginning of the meal is that guests will be fresh and attentive as they've only just come in. This means they're more likely to be engaged and entertained by the speeches. By contrast, if toasts are done after the meal, guests may be keen to get up, move around, and mingle. Waiting staff may also be walking around collecting plates, which can cause a distraction or noise.
Another advantage of starting the meal with toasts is that the people giving speeches won't have to worry about their upcoming speech throughout the meal. They can relax and enjoy the food, and they won't have the stress of speaking on a full stomach.
If you do opt for toasts at the beginning of the meal, it's a good idea to have canapes and cocktails for guests during the cocktail hour before the meal. That way, they won't be sitting through the speeches on an empty stomach.
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Toasts during the meal
One option is to start the toasts about 30 minutes into dinner. This ensures that your guests have had some food and are settled, creating a captive audience. It also saves time by combining eating and listening to speeches. You can also choose to have the toasts back-to-back or spread them out between courses. For example, you can have the first speaker take the mic once everyone is seated, then pick up the mic again after the salad plates are down, and so on. This option allows for a seamless transition between the meal and the speeches.
Another option is to hold off on the toasts until guests are served their main course. The main course is usually the longest part of the meal, providing more time for talking and speeches without interruption. This option also ensures that your guests are not hungry while listening to the speeches.
If you are having a more casual wedding, such as a buffet or family-style dining, you might consider having the toasts during the meal. This can be a good time as guests are seated and passing plates around the table. However, there is a possibility of noise and distraction from guests chatting, shuffling around, or waiting staff collecting plates.
Regardless of when you choose to have the toasts during the meal, it is important to keep in mind the traditional order of wedding toasts. Typically, the father of the bride is first, followed by the groom's family, then the maid of honour, and finally, the best man. However, couples may choose to adjust the order based on their personal preferences.
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Toasts at the end of the meal
There are several benefits to scheduling toasts towards the end of the meal. For one, your guests will be fed and happy, and you'll have a captive audience. This timing also saves precious time by combining eating and listening to speeches. Toasts at the end of the meal also give your speechmakers plenty of time to enjoy the reception once they're done. They can relax and dance without the looming worry of an upcoming speech.
However, there are a few potential drawbacks to this timing. For example, guests may be antsy to get up, move around, and mingle after eating. They may also be getting up to use the bathroom or stretch their legs, which can be distracting for the speaker and other guests. Waiting staff may also be walking around collecting plates, which can cause noise and distraction.
If you're concerned about these potential issues, you could consider a compromise by scheduling toasts towards the end of the first course, or midway through the meal, so everyone will have eaten, but the band and desserts haven't come out yet. This way, your guests will be fresh and attentive, and you'll avoid the potential distractions of waiting staff clearing plates.
If you're set on having toasts at the end of the meal, there are ways to mitigate potential issues. For example, you could have the toasts, then cut the cake, and finish with the first dance and parent dances before opening the dance floor. This way, guests can dance and mingle while they watch, and then eat dessert while they wait for their turn to dance.
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Toasts before the cake cutting
There are many different opinions on when to schedule toasts and speeches at a wedding, and ultimately, the choice is yours. However, here is some advice on why you might want to opt for toasts before the cake cutting:
Firstly, if you want to follow tradition, the father of the bride typically gives the first speech, which is usually the first toast, welcoming guests and thanking them for coming. This is often followed by the groom's family. If you are following tradition, you might want to opt for toasts before the meal, as guests will be fresh and attentive, and it can be a lovely way to start the meal.
Secondly, if you are having a plated meal, it is best to wait until everyone has been served and has their food, so they can enjoy their dinner while listening to the speeches. This also means that the speakers don't have to worry throughout the meal and can relax and enjoy their food. It also avoids the issue of waiting staff collecting plates and causing a distraction or noise during the speeches.
Thirdly, if you want to get the formalities out of the way, toasts before the meal mean that parents, the maid of honour and best man can enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free. This also allows you to set the tone for the rest of the night.
Finally, if you are having a cake-cutting early on, it is usually done immediately following the announcement of the couple at the reception. This is to ensure the photographer and guests can get a great view and take formal photos. The couple is then seated, and the toasts begin. This also means the cake is looking its best for photos.
In conclusion, there are many benefits to doing toasts before the cake-cutting, but ultimately, it is your choice, and you should do what feels right for your wedding.
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Traditional wedding speech order
The traditional order of wedding speeches typically goes as follows:
Father of the Bride
The father of the bride usually delivers the first speech, which often includes a heartfelt welcome to the guests and the groom's family, toasts to absent friends and family, and anecdotes and words of wisdom for the happy couple. If the father of the bride isn't present, a close family friend or the mother of the bride can step in.
Groom
The groom's speech typically follows, responding to the father of the bride's toast and offering thanks and compliments to the bridesmaids and other key members of the wedding party.
Best Man
The best man's speech traditionally concludes the wedding speeches and is expected to be humorous, including anecdotes about the groom and well-wishes for the couple.
Maid of Honour
Although the maid of honour's speech doesn't get as much attention as the best man's, it is still an important part of the reception. The maid of honour usually speaks after the parents of the groom and before the best man.
Bridesmaids
The bridesmaids may also give a short speech, or they may join the maid of honour in a joint speech.
Bride
It is a relatively new trend for the bride to give a speech, either on her own or together with the groom.
Other Toasts
Other individuals who may give a speech include the mother of the bride, father of the groom, and other close friends or family members.
Timing of Speeches
Traditionally, wedding speeches take place after dinner. However, some couples opt to have the speeches before the meal to capture the guests' attention when they are fresh and attentive. Starting with toasts can be a lovely way to begin the meal, and it allows speech-givers to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening stress-free. On the other hand, doing speeches after the meal means guests may be eager to get up and mingle, and there could be distractions from waiting staff clearing plates.
Couples may also choose to mix up the timing, having some speeches before the meal and others after, or scheduling speeches between courses. Ultimately, the choice of speech order and timing is flexible, and couples can adjust it according to their preferences and the flow of the reception.
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Frequently asked questions
It is completely up to you whether you decide to give your wedding toasts before or after the meal. Some people prefer to give their speeches before the meal so that they can get it out of the way, whereas others prefer to follow tradition and give their speeches after the meal.
Giving toasts before the meal means that your guests will have something to talk about straight away, rather than repeating small talk. It also means that your guests will be fresh and attentive, and you won't have to worry about people getting up to use the bathroom or waiting staff causing distractions during your speech.
Your guests will be happy and relaxed after they've eaten, and you won't have to worry about people getting hungry during your speech. It also means that anyone who has had a few drinks will be able to sober up a little during the meal before your speech.
Traditionally, the father of the bride gives the first toast, welcoming guests and thanking them for coming. This is usually followed by the groom's family.
The order of wedding toasts is completely up to you, but traditionally, the father of the bride is first, followed by the groom's family, the maid of honour, and then the best man.
