Deborah Chan
The garter toss is a wedding tradition where the groom removes the bride's garter and throws it into a crowd of single men. It is the groom's equivalent of the bride's bouquet toss and is meant to symbolise good luck. The tradition is believed to have originated in medieval Europe when people considered having a piece of the bride's dress as good luck. While some couples still choose to include the garter toss in their wedding celebrations, others may find it awkward, uncomfortable, or inappropriate, especially in front of family and friends. Ultimately, the decision to include the garter toss in a wedding is a personal choice, and couples may opt for alternative rituals or forgo it altogether.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| History | The tradition of the garter toss originated in the Dark Ages or medieval Europe when people believed that having a piece of the bride's dress brought good luck. |
| Purpose | It is meant to symbolise good luck for eligible bachelors and is the groom's equivalent of the bouquet toss. |
| Timing | It usually takes place towards the end of the reception, after dinner, when guests are on the dance floor. |
| Participants | The groom retrieves the garter from the bride's thigh and tosses it to a crowd of single men. |
| Cost | Wedding garters can range from $10 to $150 depending on the brand, materials, and design. |
| Popularity | The garter toss is a widespread tradition but some couples may opt-out due to discomfort with its gendered and sexualised nature. |
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What You'll Learn
Garter toss history and meaning
The wedding garter toss is a tradition that is said to have originated in medieval Europe or the Middle Ages. Back then, garters served the purpose of holding up stockings. During the Dark Ages, married couples were expected to consummate their union immediately, and wedding guests would try to watch to ensure the deed was done. It is thought that the garter toss came about as a way for the couple to get some privacy. The groom would remove the bride's garter and present it as "proof", appeasing hopeful onlookers.
Another origin story suggests that in medieval Europe, a bride's attire was believed to hold protective and lucky qualities. The bridal garter tradition started as a way to share these good fortunes with guests in a more controlled environment, rather than having them rip off a piece of the bride's wedding gown (which did sometimes happen).
In modern times, the garter toss is a fun and entirely optional reception activity. The groom removes the garter from the bride's leg and tosses it to a crowd of single men. It is meant to be lighthearted and is the equivalent of the bride tossing the bouquet to a crowd of single women. The person who catches the garter is said to be the next one to marry.
The garter toss is a highly polarizing tradition. Some consider it a fun activity, while others find it unsettling, raunchy, and inappropriate. Some brides may find it antiquated and sexist, especially due to its gendered history. It is ultimately a personal decision whether to include the garter toss in one's wedding celebrations.
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Whether to include the garter toss at your wedding
The garter toss is a longstanding tradition that still features in many weddings. It involves the bride's partner removing a garter from the bride's thigh and tossing it into a crowd of single men. The garter toss is meant to be the groom's equivalent of the bouquet toss and is said to symbolise good luck.
However, the garter toss is a highly polarising tradition. Some brides love the idea, while others find the concept and the gendered history behind it antiquated, unnecessary, and even offensive. Many people feel uncomfortable participating in or witnessing a garter toss, especially in front of family members. The tradition can also be awkward for single people, as it involves separating guests by gender and relationship status and reminding single people of their relationship status.
If you're unsure about including a garter toss in your wedding, it's worth noting that it's entirely optional. You can skip the tradition altogether or replace it with an alternative activity, such as an anniversary dance. You can also modify the tradition to make it less awkward, such as by changing the placement of the garter or having the couple toss the bouquet together to everyone, regardless of gender or relationship status.
Ultimately, the decision to include a garter toss in your wedding is a personal one. You can choose to include it if you feel comfortable with the tradition and believe your guests will enjoy it. However, if you feel uncomfortable or unsure about it, you can opt to leave it out or modify it to better suit your preferences and values.
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Garter alternatives and variations
The garter toss is a wedding tradition that has been criticised as being outdated, uncomfortable, and unnecessary. Many couples are choosing to skip it or replace it with alternative activities.
Variations
If you still want to include the garter toss in your wedding but are uncomfortable with the idea of your partner removing it from your leg, you can opt for a separate "tossing garter". This way, you can have the fun moment of your partner tossing the garter to the crowd without the more intimate removal.
Alternatives
- Tossing a bouquet to the crowd of single people on the dance floor, with a gift card attached.
- Throwing a stuffed animal or a pillow, especially if there are children in attendance.
- Throwing a tie, a necktie, a boutonnière, or leather gloves.
- Blowing up balloons, one of which has a ribbon or other lightweight items inside, and having the groom toss it to the crowd.
- A scavenger hunt, a dance-off, or a game of musical chairs, with the garter as a prize.
- A t-shirt toss, where the couple throws t-shirts designed like concert tour shirts to the guests.
- Auctioning off items, such as the groom's tie.
- A mystery box, where guests are handed keys for a locked box and the one whose key fits the lock gets to keep the prize.
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Garter toss timing and placement
The garter toss is a wedding tradition where the groom removes the bride's garter and throws it to a crowd of single men. It is the equivalent of the bride's bouquet toss and is meant to symbolise good luck for the eligible bachelors in attendance.
There is no hard-and-fast rule about when to do the garter toss during the wedding reception. However, most couples choose to do it after dinner, when guests are likely to be headed to the dance floor. It can be done alongside other traditions, such as the cake cutting, toasts, and bouquet toss, to ensure the reception flows without too many interruptions.
Some brides choose to wear two garters: one to keep and one to toss. If you are wearing two garters, they usually go on the same leg. However, there are no rules about which leg to put them on, so you can do what feels most comfortable.
Some people find the garter toss tradition uncomfortable or inappropriate, particularly because of its gendered history. If you would prefer not to include it in your wedding, you can simply skip the tradition or opt for a different ritual, such as the couple throwing a bouquet together to all guests.
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Garter costs and styles
The wedding garter is a piece of lingerie or simple fabric that the bride wears under her dress on her upper thigh. It is usually made of lace or satin with some sort of stretchy or elastic material. Garters can feature ruchings, bows, appliqués, embroidery, beading, ribbon, feathers, and other accouterments. They can be found in a variety of colours, with blue and white being the most common.
The cost of a wedding garter can vary depending on where you buy it and what it is made of. They can be purchased from USD10 to USD150, with most falling somewhere between USD10 to USD50. More expensive garters tend to be made with name-brand, luxurious materials and embellishments, and are more complex in design. Garters can also be custom-made, which may increase the cost.
There are many different styles of garters to choose from, depending on your preference. You can choose to wear one or two garters, and they can be worn on either leg. If wearing two, they are usually worn on the same leg, with one to toss and one to keep. Garters can be personalised or monogrammed, and can even double as a flask! For a rustic wedding, consider an elastic and lace garter with gold and green accents. For a more traditional look, a simple garter with a satin band and lace, or a blue garter with a bow, are elegant choices.
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Frequently asked questions
The garter toss is a wedding tradition where the groom removes the bride's garter and throws it into a crowd of single men. It is the equivalent of the bride's bouquet toss and is meant to symbolise good luck.
No, it is not a requirement to do a garter toss at weddings. While it is a long-standing tradition, it is considered outdated and uncomfortable by many. It is entirely optional and you can choose to skip it altogether.
There is no hard and fast rule about the timing of the garter toss. Most couples choose to do it after dinner, towards the end of the reception when guests are on the dance floor.
Instead of a garter toss, you could consider an Anniversary Dance, where all couples are invited to the dance floor and marked off according to their milestone anniversaries. Another option is to simply skip the tradition and not replace it with anything, focusing on other wedding rituals like the first dance or cake cutting.
