Junior Rasmussen
Bridesmaids are a common feature of weddings in Western cultures, but they are not a requirement. In fact, more and more brides are opting to skip having a bridal party altogether. While it can be a fun tradition, it's also an added expense and a logistical challenge for the couple getting married. Bridesmaids are typically expected to pay for their own attire, as well as contribute to the cost of pre-wedding events like the bridal shower and bachelorette party. They also have a long list of responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding, including providing emotional support for the bride and helping with wedding planning tasks. Ultimately, the decision to have bridesmaids or not is a personal one and should be based on the couple's preferences and the type of celebration they want to have.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Purpose | Support the bride, emotionally and practically |
| Attendance | Expected to attend pre-wedding events and the wedding ceremony |
| Planning | Help with planning and logistics, including pre-wedding parties |
| Costs | Expected to cover their own costs, but brides may contribute gifts |
| Number | Variable, the bride chooses how many bridesmaids to have |
| Role | Assist the bride on the wedding day, with dressing, transport, etc. |
What You'll Learn
Emotional support
While it is not mandatory to have bridesmaids at weddings, they are a common feature in many weddings and play a crucial role in supporting the bride. Here are some ways in which bridesmaids can provide emotional support:
Pre-Wedding Emotional Support
Bridesmaids can provide a listening ear for any wedding planning woes and be supportive and enthusiastic throughout the process. They can also attend dress appointments and help the bride choose her attire and pick out her flowers. It is important for bridesmaids to be emotionally present and available to the bride, especially during the wedding weekend.
Wedding Day Emotional Support
On the wedding day itself, bridesmaids can ensure the bride stays calm, collected, and well-fed. They can also assist the bride with getting dressed, and help her manage her veil, bouquet, or train of her dress.
Post-Wedding Emotional Support
Even after the wedding, bridesmaids can continue to provide emotional support by gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch. They can also create a digital collection of photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple awaits their official photos.
Having a crew of close friends and family members nearby can make the bride feel more comfortable and at ease, both before and during the wedding. Bridesmaids can also help diffuse any pre-wedding stress or tensions and keep the atmosphere upbeat.
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Planning pre-wedding events
Engagement Party
The engagement party is often one of the first pre-wedding celebrations and is a great way to share your exciting news with loved ones. It can be held at a variety of locations, such as a host's home, a restaurant, a bar, or even a unique venue like a historic home or park. There are no set rules for when it should take place, but it's usually held within three months of the engagement, and invitations should be sent out at least a month in advance. This event can be as formal or informal as you like, and it's a chance to bring close family and friends together to celebrate.
Bridal Shower
The bridal shower is a more intimate gathering to honour the bride, usually held a few weeks to three months before the wedding. Traditionally, it's an all-female celebration, but some couples opt for a couple's shower, where both spouses-to-be are feted by guests of all genders. The event usually includes a meal, games, and gift-giving. The bridal shower is typically planned by the maid of honour and bridesmaids, and it's a chance for the bride to spend time with her closest friends and family before the busyness of wedding planning takes over.
Bachelorette/Bachelor Party
The bachelorette and bachelor parties are held separately but usually entail similar festivities. These events are traditionally wild nights out, but they can also be tailored to the guest of honour's personality and style, such as a relaxing spa visit, cooking class, or outdoor adventure. They are typically held one to four months before the wedding and are planned by the maid of honour and best man, respectively. These parties are a chance for the wedding party to bond, relax, and celebrate before the big day.
Rehearsal Dinner
The rehearsal dinner is usually held the night before the wedding and is a more laid-back event compared to the actual wedding. It's an opportunity for both families and friends of the couple to mingle and spend quality time together. The guest list can vary from just close family and the wedding party to the entire guest list. This event usually includes speeches, toasts, and a relaxed dinner. It's also a chance for the wedding party to rehearse their roles for the big day, so it shouldn't be held too early.
Bridesmaid Luncheon
The bridesmaid luncheon is an optional but thoughtful way to thank your bridesmaids for their hard work and support during the wedding planning process. It's usually held the day before the wedding, after the bridal party has arrived, and it can include a light meal, champagne, and gifts for the bridesmaids. This event is more intimate and is often held at a restaurant in the same city or town as the wedding venue.
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Wedding-day duties
While it is not mandatory to have bridesmaids at a wedding, they are part of the wedding party and play a crucial role in supporting the bride. Here is a detailed list of their duties on the wedding day:
On the wedding day, bridesmaids are expected to be present and actively support the bride. This includes helping the bride with her dress, shoes, and jewellery, and ensuring she has eaten and is hydrated. Bridesmaids also assist with the bride's veil and bouquet during the ceremony and photos. They may also be asked to pay certain suppliers and tip staff.
Additionally, bridesmaids play a role in ensuring the day runs smoothly by fielding questions from guests and suppliers, keeping the prep room calm, and helping to round up family members for photos. They may also be called upon to assist the bride when using the bathroom and getting in and out of cars or navigating stairs.
Bridesmaids are also expected to participate in wedding traditions, such as arranging cans or a 'Just Married' sign on the wedding car, and encouraging guests to sign the guestbook or visit the photo booth. They can also help with any planned send-offs, such as a sparkler exit.
Finally, bridesmaids often have a role in preserving the wedding bouquet and ensuring the bride's dress is carefully packed away and not damaged.
Before and After the Wedding
In addition to their wedding-day duties, bridesmaids also have responsibilities before and after the wedding. In the lead-up to the wedding, they are often involved in planning and paying for pre-wedding events, such as the hen/bachelorette party and bridal shower. They may also assist with wedding dress and bridesmaid dress shopping, as well as venue layout and décor decisions.
After the wedding, bridesmaids can offer to help with leftover items, create a digital collection of photos and videos, and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch.
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Costs and expenses
Being a bridesmaid is a huge honour, but it can also be a major financial commitment. The cost of being a bridesmaid can vary depending on the location of the wedding. On average, it costs about $1,200 per wedding to be a bridesmaid, but this can quickly increase to over $1,800.
One of the biggest expenses for bridesmaids is the dress, which can cost around $130-$208. Alterations to the dress can add another $30-$100, and bridesmaids may also be expected to purchase matching accessories, such as shoes and jewellery, which can cost around $120.
Bridesmaids are also typically expected to attend and contribute to the cost of pre-wedding events, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party. These events can be expensive, especially if they require travel. On average, a bridesmaid spends over $800 on hosting responsibilities, travel, and gifts for pre-wedding events, with the bachelorette party being the most expensive.
Travel to and accommodation for the wedding itself can also be a significant expense, with a bridesmaid spending on average $115 on travel and $205 on accommodations.
Other costs that bridesmaids may incur include hair and makeup ($72 and $60 respectively), wedding gifts ($125), and pre-wedding event attire.
It's important for bridesmaids to have honest conversations with the bride about their financial expectations and to be realistic about what they can afford. Some brides may be able to help cover some of the costs for their bridesmaids, and there are ways to save money, such as choosing a less expensive dress or reusing accessories.
Being a bridesmaid also requires a significant time and emotional commitment. It's important to be supportive and proactive in helping the bride with wedding planning and decision-making. This may include attending dress fittings, venue visits, and other pre-wedding events, as well as being available to help out in the days leading up to the wedding.
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Traditions and expectations
The role of a bridesmaid is steeped in tradition, and while it has evolved over the years, there are still certain expectations associated with the role. Bridesmaids are members of the bride's party and are usually young, unmarried women and often close friends or relatives of the bride. In modern times, the bride typically chooses the number of bridesmaids she wants, and they are expected to perform a variety of duties before, during, and after the wedding.
One of the main traditional roles of a bridesmaid is to provide emotional support to the bride throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. This can include helping the bride choose her wedding attire, providing a listening ear during stressful moments, and simply being present and available. Bridesmaids are also expected to plan and attend pre-wedding parties, such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party, and may be involved in other pre-wedding events such as engagement parties or wedding DIY sessions. They are also usually responsible for their own travel and accommodation arrangements and costs for the wedding.
On the day of the wedding, bridesmaids have a key role in ensuring everything runs smoothly for the bride and the rest of the wedding party. This can include getting ready with the bride, providing snacks and drinks, assisting with the bride's dress, shoes, jewellery, and veil, and participating in the ceremony. They may also be asked to witness the signing of the marriage license and offer a toast at the reception. After the wedding, bridesmaids often help with gathering personal items, transporting gifts, and participating in post-wedding events such as a next-day brunch.
While the role of a bridesmaid is steeped in tradition, modern interpretations of the role are more flexible and can be tailored to the bride's preferences and the specific dynamics of the wedding party. Ultimately, the role of a bridesmaid is to support the bride and ensure that she feels cherished and celebrated on her wedding day.
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Frequently asked questions
No, it is not necessary to have bridesmaids at a wedding. In fact, it is becoming an increasingly popular decision to skip the tradition.
Not having bridesmaids can save the couple money, give them more time with family on the wedding day, and free up their schedule. It also means they won't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings or dealing with potential bridesmaid drama.
The cons include missing out on a time-honored tradition, having less built-in support on the wedding day, and having to handle last-minute tasks alone.
The duties of a bridesmaid include planning and attending pre-wedding parties, helping with wedding planning, and being present and available to the bride on the wedding day and in the days leading up to it.
The costs of being a bridesmaid can include bridesmaid attire, bridal shower costs, bachelorette party costs, travel and accommodation, and a wedding gift.
