Deborah Chan
Wedding thank-you cards are traditionally handwritten, but is it necessary? Some people prefer the personal touch of a handwritten card, while others may not mind a typed message as long as it is personalised. The main thing is to make sure your guests feel appreciated, whether they gave you a gift or just their time and support.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Should wedding thank-you cards be handwritten? | Most sources suggest that wedding thank-you cards should be handwritten to add a personal touch. However, some people opt for typed cards, especially if they have poor handwriting or are short on time. |
| Who should receive a thank-you card? | There are differing opinions on this. Some believe that only guests who gave gifts should receive a thank-you card, while others suggest sending cards to all guests as they made an effort to attend the wedding. |
| Timing | Thank-you cards for gifts received before the wedding should be sent out within two weeks. For gifts received on the wedding day, cards should be sent within three months of returning from the honeymoon. |
| Content | According to etiquette expert Elaine Swann, a great thank-you card has three essential elements: say "thank you," name the gift, and say something about it. |
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What You'll Learn
Handwritten vs typed
There are differing opinions on whether wedding thank-you cards should be handwritten or typed. Some people believe that handwritten cards are more personal and thoughtful, arguing that guests have taken the time to attend the wedding and may have given a gift, so it is worth the effort to write a handwritten thank-you card. This view is supported by etiquette expert Elaine Swann, who recommends writing personal, thoughtful cards to everyone who attended the wedding or sent a gift.
On the other hand, others argue that typed cards are acceptable, especially if they are personalised. This is particularly relevant for those with large weddings, as writing individual handwritten cards can be time-consuming and tedious. Additionally, some people may have poor handwriting or experience hand cramps, making typed cards a more practical option.
One possible solution is to combine the two approaches. Couples can type a general thank-you message and then handwrite a personalised note for each guest, expressing gratitude for their specific gift or contribution to the wedding. This ensures that each guest feels acknowledged and appreciated, while also saving time and effort for the couple.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to handwrite or type wedding thank-you cards depends on personal preference and the couple's relationship with their guests. However, it is important to prioritise sending out the cards promptly, as it is considered good manners to let gift-givers know that their gift has been received.
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Who to send thank you cards to
There are differing opinions on who to send wedding thank you cards to. Some people believe that you should only send thank you cards to those who gave you a gift, as a way to acknowledge their generosity. This can include people who gave a card, as well as those who gave money or a physical present.
Others feel that all guests should receive a thank you card, as they made an effort to attend your wedding and may have spent a lot of time and money to be there. In this case, a simple thank you for coming can go a long way.
If you have a small wedding, it may be feasible to send thank you cards to all guests. However, if you have a large number of guests, it might be more practical to only send cards to those who gave gifts, as keeping track of all attendees can be challenging.
Additionally, there may be certain guests who played a more significant role in your wedding, such as parents or vendors. These individuals could be included in your list of recipients, regardless of whether they gave a gift, as a way to express your gratitude for their support and contribution to your special day.
Ultimately, the decision on who to send thank you cards to is a personal one, and you can choose to prioritize those who you feel made a meaningful impact on your wedding, whether through their presence, their gifts, or their assistance.
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How to personalise thank you cards
While opinions vary on whether wedding thank-you cards need to be handwritten, many people appreciate the personal touch of handwritten cards. However, if you have terrible handwriting or want to ensure your cards look neat, typing out your notes may be a better option. Here are some tips to help you personalise your wedding thank-you cards:
Choose a design that reflects your personality
Select a design that speaks to you and your partner's style. You can choose from a variety of templates or create a completely bespoke design. Consider including photos, text, monograms, or other fun details to make your cards unique.
Customise the text and photos
Make your cards extra special by customising the text and photos. Add your own heartfelt message inside, and don't forget to include the recipient's name. You can also upload your favourite photos together or choose a wedding photo to showcase.
Order a small batch first
Before placing a large order, consider ordering a small batch of 10 cards to see how your design looks and feels in person. This way, you can make any necessary adjustments to the colour, paper, and size before finalising your order.
Spread out the task
Writing out thank-you cards can be tedious, so don't try to do them all in one day. Spread out the task over a few weeks, working on a few cards each night while you relax and watch TV. This will help you stay motivated and ensure you don't burn out.
Sign each card
Whether you choose to handwrite or type your notes, be sure to sign each card personally. This adds a touch of warmth and makes the recipient feel appreciated.
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When to send thank you cards
Wedding thank-you cards are an important way to show your gratitude to your guests for their attendance and gifts. While opinions vary on whether they need to be handwritten, there is a general consensus on when to send them out.
It is recommended to send wedding thank-you cards within two weeks of receiving a gift if it arrives before the wedding. This ensures that your guests feel appreciated and acknowledged in a timely manner. For gifts received on or after the wedding day, it is considerate to send thank-you cards within three months of the wedding date. This allows for a respectful and timely expression of gratitude, especially if some gifts arrive later than expected as guests have up to a year to send a gift.
Some couples choose to write and send thank-you cards before their honeymoon, aiming to get them done as soon as possible. Others opt for sending cards within 2-3 weeks after the wedding, including those who may have busier schedules or prefer a more relaxed approach. Ultimately, it is best to send them out as soon as possible, as guests appreciate being thanked promptly.
It is worth noting that while handwritten cards are often preferred, it is not always feasible, especially for larger weddings. Some couples choose to type personalized messages or letters, ensuring that each guest feels appreciated. Ultimately, the most important aspect is expressing sincere gratitude, regardless of the format.
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How to structure a thank you card message
Wedding thank-you cards are generally expected to be handwritten, as this is seen as a more thoughtful and personalised gesture. However, this can be a tedious and time-consuming task, especially if you have a large number of guests. Some couples choose to type and print their thank-you notes, but this may be considered impersonal by certain guests.
If you decide to write your thank-you cards by hand, here are some tips on how to structure your message:
- Greeting: Begin with a simple "Dear" followed by the guest's name. If you are on a first-name basis, you can address them by their first name. If you are writing to a family, address the card to the entire family.
- Express Gratitude for Attendance: Thank the guest for sharing in your special day and let them know how much their presence meant to you and your partner.
- Mention the Gift: If the guest gave you a gift, be sure to mention it specifically and express your appreciation for their thoughtfulness.
- Personalise the Message: Include something specific about the guest, such as a shared memory or a special moment during the wedding. This shows that you took the time to reflect on their presence and that it was meaningful to you.
- Look to the Future: Express your excitement for future gatherings and the opportunity to create more memories together.
- Closing: End the card with a warm phrase such as "Warm regards," "With love," or "Sincerely." Sign your name and your partner's name at the bottom of the card.
"Dear Aunt Susan,
Thank you so much for being a part of our wedding celebration. It truly meant the world to us that you were there to share in our joy. We are so grateful for the beautiful crystal vase you gifted us. It will have a special place in our home and will remind us of you every time we see it. We hope to have you over soon to create more happy memories.
With love,
John and Mary"
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Frequently asked questions
No, you only need to send thank-you cards to those who gave you gifts or money. However, some people suggest sending cards to all guests as they may have spent a lot of money to be there.
Most people prefer receiving handwritten thank-you cards as they feel more personal. However, if you have bad handwriting or are short on time, you can type up a personalised message.
It's best to send out thank-you cards as soon as possible. For gifts received before the wedding, you should send them out within two weeks. For gifts received on the wedding day, send them out within three months of returning from your honeymoon.
