Addressing Etiquette: Wedding Invites And Address Display

Wedding invitations can include an inner and outer envelope, but an inner envelope is optional. The outer envelope is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and holds the invitation inside. The outer envelope is what you need to worry about when it comes to addressing.

There are a few simple guidelines to follow when it comes to addressing a wedding invitation, whether it's a formal or informal affair. Traditionally, the outer envelope is more formal, with the inner envelope being more informal. The outer envelope should include the recipient's full name and title, including their personal title. This format works for couples of all genders, whether they share a surname or not.

If you feel personal titles are too restrictive and exclusive for your guest list, you can forgo them and use first and last names only. It's important to double-check each attendee's preferred personal title beforehand if you plan on incorporating them.

Inner and outer envelopes

Wedding invitations can include an inner and outer envelope, but inner envelopes are optional. The outer envelope is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself.

The outer envelope is formal and should include the recipient's full name and title, such as "Mr." or "Mrs.". This format works for couples of all genders, whether or not they share a surname. However, if you feel that titles may be restrictive for your guest list, you can forgo them and use only first and last names. If you plan on including titles, make sure to double-check each attendee's preferred title beforehand.

The inner envelope is more informal, giving you the option to leave out one or two elements of the formal name format. For example, you can use personal titles with last names or just use first names. The inner envelope also specifies who is invited to the wedding. For families, the outer envelope can be addressed to the family name or the parents' names, while the inner envelope would specify the names of those invited, including children if applicable.

Using both inner and outer envelopes is more traditional and can be beneficial if you want to be clear about who is invited to your wedding. It also provides an extra layer of protection for your invitations, ensuring they arrive without rips or smudges. However, it is not necessary to use both, and some may consider it a waste of paper. Ultimately, it is your choice and can depend on factors such as the formality of your wedding and your stationery budget.

Married couples

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to married couples, there are a few different ways to go about it depending on your preferred level of formality, the couple's last names, and their titles or professions. Here are some examples to consider:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. However, modern alternatives include using both partners' first and last names or full names, especially if the wife has chosen to keep her maiden name.

Outer envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
• "Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Clarke"
• "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"
• "Mr. Jackson Clarke and Mrs. Mary Clarke"

Inner envelope:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Warren"
• "Thomas and Michelle"
• "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren"
• "Mr. Clarke and Mrs. Clarke"

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

When addressing married couples with different last names, list their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the outer envelope. You can choose to write the woman's name first or go by your preference or alphabetical order.

Outer envelope:

• "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
• "Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes and Mr. Cyan Matthews"
• "Mr. Cyan Matthews and Mrs. Gwyneth Brookes"

Inner envelope:

• "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez"
• "Maria and David"
• "Mrs. Brookes and Mr. Matthews"
• "Mr. Matthews and Mrs. Brookes"

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

In this case, include the spouse's hyphenated last name last in the outer envelope address.

Outer envelope:

"Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope:

• "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft"
• "Marcus and Brian"

Married Couple with Distinguished Titles:

If one or both partners have distinguished titles such as doctors, military personnel, judges, or clergy, these titles take precedence in the address order. The person with the higher-ranking title or the woman, if both have equal rank, is listed first.

Outer envelope:

• "The Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Mr. Martin David Ginsburg"
• "Rabbi and Mrs. Richard Glass"
• "The Honorable Senator Elizabeth Ann Warren and Mr. Bruce Mann"

Inner envelope:

• "Judge Ginsburg and Mr. Ginsburg"
• "Rabbi Glass and Mrs. Glass"
• "Senator Warren and Mr. Mann"

Remember, the inner envelope is optional and tends to be more informal. You can drop the titles and use only the first names of the couple or stick to titles and last names.

Single people

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations to single people, the rules are relatively straightforward.

Firstly, it is important to use the correct title or prefix for the guest. For male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.

If the single guest is under the age of 18, the title is optional. For male guests under 18, no title is necessary. For female guests under 18, use "Miss" instead of "Ms."

If a single guest has been offered a plus-one, it is best to include the name of the guest they will bring. If you do not know the name, simply include "and guest" or "and Guest" following the full name of the invitee.

Outer envelope:

• Mr. James Montgomery
• Ms. Stephanie Chen
• Mx. Sam Li

Inner envelope:

• Mr. Montgomery
• Ms. Chen and guest
• Sam Li and Guest

It is worth noting that the inner envelope is optional and is becoming less common in modern wedding invitations. The inner envelope is usually more informal, allowing for more flexibility in how you address your guests.

Additionally, if you are having a casual wedding, such as a backyard barbecue or brunch in the park, you may choose to omit titles and use only first and last names. However, for more formal weddings, it is generally recommended to use titles and full names.

Families

When sending out wedding invitations, it is important to consider whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you are happy to invite the whole family, you can address the envelope to the entire family:

> The [Family Name] Family

If you would like to specify which family members are invited, write the names of each family member in list form. Begin with the parent or parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Female children under the age of 18 should be addressed as "Miss".

> The [Family Name] Family

> Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

> [Children's Names]

If the whole family is invited, you can use the family name or just the names of the parents on the outer envelope:

> The [Family Name] Family

> or

> Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

Then, list the first names of all invited family members on the inner envelope:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

> [Children's First Names]

If you are using only one envelope, the format is slightly different. Begin with the parent or parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Again, female children under the age of 18 should be addressed as "Miss".

> Mr. and Mrs. [Parents' Names]

> [Children's Names]

If you are inviting a family with children over the age of 18, they should each receive their own invitations (unless they are living at home with their parents).

Titles and abbreviations

When it comes to titles and abbreviations for wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure proper etiquette. Here are some detailed guidelines:

Using Titles:

• For married couples, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." For same-sex couples, the same format applies, using the appropriate prefixes ("Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Mx.").
• For unmarried couples living together, use "Ms." or "Miss" for women and "Mr." for men, followed by their full names.
• For single female guests, use "Ms." if she is over 18, and "Miss" if she is under 18.
• For single male guests, use "Mr." if he is over 18. Otherwise, no title is necessary.
• For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name.
• For widowed women, it is common to use "Mrs." with their married name, but it is best to ask for their preference.
• For divorced women, either "Mrs." or "Ms." can be used, depending on whether they use their married or maiden name.

Addressing Distinguished Titles:

• For doctors, write out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate to "Dr." on the inner envelope. For married doctors, use "The Doctors" or "Drs.".
• For military personnel, judges, reverends, etc., use their appropriate titles (e.g., "Lieutenant," "The Honorable," "Captain", "Reverend"). Apply the same rules as for doctors regarding abbreviations and inner envelopes.
• For attorneys, use "Esq." after their name (e.g., "John Smith, Esq.").

Addressing Children:

• For girls under 18, use "Miss." Boys do not need a title until they are 16, after which they can be addressed as "Mr."
• For children over 18, they should receive their own invitations, and you can use titles or not, depending on your preference.

Abbreviations:

• Avoid using abbreviations for road names (e.g., "St.," "Rd.," "Ave."), and always spell out the full state name (e.g., "California" instead of "CA").
• House numbers below 20 should also be spelled out.
• On the inner envelope, you can use titles and last names only, or opt for a more casual approach with first names.

Frequently asked questions